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02-03-11 11:57 AM
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Do you carry the can in your family?

 

02-03-11 11:57 AM
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My dad is the fall guy in our family, the one who gets blaimed for everything, and as he is such a gentle guy he carries the load, but I wish somethimes that he would stand up for himself.

My brother totally disrespects him and my dad should stand up to him.

Don't get me wrong it does get him down and he has changed over the years, so I say this as more of a plea.

Lots of us do carry the can, do you?
My dad is the fall guy in our family, the one who gets blaimed for everything, and as he is such a gentle guy he carries the load, but I wish somethimes that he would stand up for himself.

My brother totally disrespects him and my dad should stand up to him.

Don't get me wrong it does get him down and he has changed over the years, so I say this as more of a plea.

Lots of us do carry the can, do you?
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02-03-11 05:18 PM
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no, I don't and I suppose that is the problem they can't grasp.
no, I don't and I suppose that is the problem they can't grasp.
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02-03-11 05:21 PM
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Yep, I do. Since I'm the youngest in my family, I'm usually blamed and punished for everything. It's ridiculous, my brothers are older now, and they STILL do it. :/
Yep, I do. Since I'm the youngest in my family, I'm usually blamed and punished for everything. It's ridiculous, my brothers are older now, and they STILL do it. :/
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02-03-11 05:23 PM
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When you say carry the can....do you mean the black sheep?

I was definitely not the black sheep of the family. If anyone was it was my brother...he got blamed for everything that went wrong and people would always take their frustrations out on him for some reason. I suppose it's because he allowed them to walk all over him...*shrugs*
When you say carry the can....do you mean the black sheep?

I was definitely not the black sheep of the family. If anyone was it was my brother...he got blamed for everything that went wrong and people would always take their frustrations out on him for some reason. I suppose it's because he allowed them to walk all over him...*shrugs*
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02-04-11 11:12 AM
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No not really me and all my family get along real well we really dont blame each other for nothing
No not really me and all my family get along real well we really dont blame each other for nothing
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02-05-11 01:07 PM
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I'm a dad, and I do carry the can as you say. I take the blame for everything our daughter does wrong, and something I really really hate is that ALL the punishing is left up to me. I dont like my kid seeing me as someone who just punishes them when they have done wrong. I seen my step dad in that light, and still dont like being around him for that reason.

Thanks for the oportunity to vent.
I'm a dad, and I do carry the can as you say. I take the blame for everything our daughter does wrong, and something I really really hate is that ALL the punishing is left up to me. I dont like my kid seeing me as someone who just punishes them when they have done wrong. I seen my step dad in that light, and still dont like being around him for that reason.

Thanks for the oportunity to vent.
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02-05-11 08:40 PM
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Oh yeah--from the time I was a kid up 'till I moved out it was almost on a daily basis . Still, on seldom occasions, the past is brought up during visiting with my family, because of the way they are--they like to dwell on things for some reason :/, and make sense of it by accusing me :/.
Oh yeah--from the time I was a kid up 'till I moved out it was almost on a daily basis . Still, on seldom occasions, the past is brought up during visiting with my family, because of the way they are--they like to dwell on things for some reason :/, and make sense of it by accusing me :/.
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02-05-11 09:19 PM
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Sort of. I am the oldest, so when I do something my parents aren't used to (get a boyfriend, stay out late, etc.) I am the one who gets all the crap for it. Then when my little sisters do the same thing two years down the road, my parents know what to expect and she totally gets away with it, no punishment.
Sort of. I am the oldest, so when I do something my parents aren't used to (get a boyfriend, stay out late, etc.) I am the one who gets all the crap for it. Then when my little sisters do the same thing two years down the road, my parents know what to expect and she totally gets away with it, no punishment.
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02-06-11 11:16 AM
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There are sorta a lot in my family... at the moment my nephew is the main one. The whole family is dysfunctional and most of the time it falls on me to keep them together as I am the only one capable of rational thought apparently. Just this last Christmas I had a breakdown because they were all on the verge of disowning each other due to misunderstandings and insults based solely on those misunderstandings. At the root of it all, I was the only person that had any right to be angry and instead I was the one trying to hold everyone together, along with the above-mentioned nephew. It worked, only because both of us delivered ultimatums to my sister (his mom), and I made it known that I had a breakdown.

So yeah... I don't know what that makes me. The inverse-can carrier?
There are sorta a lot in my family... at the moment my nephew is the main one. The whole family is dysfunctional and most of the time it falls on me to keep them together as I am the only one capable of rational thought apparently. Just this last Christmas I had a breakdown because they were all on the verge of disowning each other due to misunderstandings and insults based solely on those misunderstandings. At the root of it all, I was the only person that had any right to be angry and instead I was the one trying to hold everyone together, along with the above-mentioned nephew. It worked, only because both of us delivered ultimatums to my sister (his mom), and I made it known that I had a breakdown.

So yeah... I don't know what that makes me. The inverse-can carrier?
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06-13-11 04:51 PM
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I've never heard of this saying so you know but after reading, yes I do. Everyone in my family either hates me or ignores me.
I've never heard of this saying so you know but after reading, yes I do. Everyone in my family either hates me or ignores me.
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06-14-11 08:12 AM
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Depends on the circumstances, but I usually receives blame for something going wrong. To say that I receive all of it wouldn't be fair, however. I suppose I get enough to have seriously annoyed me, but not enough to say that everything is my fault. 
Depends on the circumstances, but I usually receives blame for something going wrong. To say that I receive all of it wouldn't be fair, however. I suppose I get enough to have seriously annoyed me, but not enough to say that everything is my fault. 
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06-14-11 09:25 AM
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my dads exacly the same he always takes the blame and hes suchas a gentle guy too, you can tell he's stressed sometimes too but he still accepts the blame and trudges on like a soldie but seriously he could just stick up for himself and it would be the same but he cant see that. sometimes he gets really mad though and lets his rage out in the garden or goes for runs i can totally realte to the psot though, well relate my dad to it
my dads exacly the same he always takes the blame and hes suchas a gentle guy too, you can tell he's stressed sometimes too but he still accepts the blame and trudges on like a soldie but seriously he could just stick up for himself and it would be the same but he cant see that. sometimes he gets really mad though and lets his rage out in the garden or goes for runs i can totally realte to the psot though, well relate my dad to it
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06-15-11 05:06 PM
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no i hardly get blamed
no i hardly get blamed
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06-15-11 05:18 PM
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I'm the trouble maker in the family, I take the blame for everything just because I feel like my little sisters and my older brothers don't need to get in trouble. They're good people....sort of....Either that or I'd feel bad.
I'm the trouble maker in the family, I take the blame for everything just because I feel like my little sisters and my older brothers don't need to get in trouble. They're good people....sort of....Either that or I'd feel bad.
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06-15-11 08:16 PM
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I am not the guy who is blamed for everything...but sometimes I am the one.
I am not the guy who is blamed for everything...but sometimes I am the one.
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(edited by pacman1755 on 06-15-11 08:17 PM)    

06-15-11 08:24 PM
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No, sometimes, but not all the time.

Usually things are fair and I respect that.
No, sometimes, but not all the time.

Usually things are fair and I respect that.
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