Namrea :
Well it will take time obviously but what I would be concerned about would be whether or not this guy will squander his opportunity to make peace and salvage the relationship he has with his friend and his friend’s mother. As I said before acquaintances come and go but real friends are hard to come by. It is a hard lesson to learn sometimes especially when you have friendships with people that stretch years to find out that some people just don’t value friendship as much as you might but, it is a lesson worth learning.

For me, after learning that lesson I became wiser of whom my friends were and even rethought of some errors I might have made in relationships that broke over time for what ever reason. It was a maturing experience… I hope that this guy will look at this as a learning opportunity… Going to college is definitely a benefit for those who can attend but there are more people who left school as I did for what ever reason that still managed to find their way in life and became successful.

In today’s economy especially there are probably more college graduates out of work along with every other class of citizen you can think of and, their probably suffering the same woes as anyone else is in a recession. College is very valuable but it’s clear especially now of days that it is not the be all, end all of what it takes for people to live.

Hopefully if your boyfriend’s friend can realize that he will be better off in the long run. I hope so at least…

Good luck to you all.

life is tough, get a scooter, it really takes you places and you become self reliant and travel more on your own,

who needs friends

T xx

Totts :
Self-reliance is a valuable skill no doubt about it but, it isn’t good to shut yourself off in regard to friendships. No matter how many bad experiences you may have in relationships, no matter how many friendships become broken over time it is never good to just dismiss friends all together because it’s not good to go through life thinking that everyone in the world has an agenda and will deceive you.

I prefer to keep my guard up and to choose my friends wisely, like I said before it is something I leaned over time but it was a lesson well worth learning.

It can take a long time to repair relationships, even over just a few misspoken words. When I said a dumb comment in a thread once and got it trashed, the guy who made the post was ticked. I tried to convince the staff to pull it out of the trash, but it didn't work. Anyways, we're pretty cool about it now. Doing your best to fix the problem can make repairs come a lot more quickly.

I used to be friends with one person who began to bully me. He gave threats of killing me, hit me, stole my food, and even just treated me like trash. He was abused at home, but he used someone who would have given him a light if I knew just to get some pain out. He could have told me, but he didn't. My life is already rough enough without the emotional scars from that bully. I've got depression, full-blown ADHD, severe anxiety, and full-blown Asberger's. Possibly even have OCD. Believe me. I know how hard life is. I have to live it fearing I'll have an anxiety attack at any moment.

I'm not sure if I'm helpful at all with this, but just know, there's people who know what it means to get crushed by another. My problem was a bully, but this bully used to be my friend. It hurts to know I was treated that way by what I thought was a friend. Some wounds inside will take forever to mend. Just stick with what you really are. Don't let another person make you go down.

I have no idea what it's like to get a break up with a boyfriend, but I'm sure it's rough. If you are still being troubled by the guy, I will be your listener. You can PM me if you want. I may not talk, but I am not going to let you recover alone.

I would say that he had no room to say that. People do blow of the handle and then they say something like that and come to regret it soon after. I would say it is right to be mad at him though because thats just not right.

KlawedFlaw :
I understand what you’re going through. I have been through a really bad year this year and it has been full of stress and things that I wish were different. I too have suffered from massive anxiety in the past and I know from first hand experience how difficult it is. It has been a couple of years since I’ve dealt with anxiety but, I can tell you that I have had a couple of instances of anxiety where it felt like I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was going to pass out.

It definitely wasn’t an enjoyable experience for me and I hope to god that I never have to deal with anything even remotely resembling that ever again. I also know what it feels like to be betrayed by a perceived friend. I like to think of perceived friends simply as “Two Faces” because they are often the very definition of two faced meaning that they really do a good job of giving you an impression that they have your best interest and are really decent people and yet either their full of total utter BS or, they come off as a hypocrite a lot of the time.

I never really had any bullies so to speak but I do know what it’s like to feel as if you’re a second-class citizen being disabled. I remember when I was in school they talked about disabled people as if we weren’t regular people. In high school, I actually had a teacher look me in the eye and tell me to my face that she felt I wasn’t capable of being challenged academically because in her words “You’re not capable of doing the work “Regular” kids can do.”


I was already a worldwide published writer at this point in my life and although I was going through some issues at the time I can not tell you how infuriated that made me. I think that was one of many reasons why I decided to leave school but, you will hear me tell kids on here that I do not recommend taking a similar path as I did. I prefer to think of it as I really had limited options and I was going to have to beat the system so to speak.

Despite knowing in my heart that I have beaten the odds to a degree that a drop out faces I would be lying if I said that there wasn’t part of me that wasn’t still embittered by what I went through but at the same time; I believe strongly that if I hadn’t have gone through what I have I probably wouldn’t be the writer that I am today and least of which wouldn’t have been able to accomplish all that I have. I think of it as motivation and I use it in a positive way one, by doing what I can to be the best at what I do and two, by offering advice to young kids to make sure they don’t go down a bad path.

As far as relationships go I have had a few relationships that I have regrets about but I think that everyone goes through a couple of relationships over the course of time that they wish they could go back on and, perhaps approach things differently.

bvd1022 : Yeah. I try to help people just out of my nature. I'm trying hard to get good grades for college. Planning to do stuff involving art and computers.

KlawedFlaw : As someone that uses a computer for work I think that is great that you want to do that. I don’t know the technical ins and outs of web design and to be honest that is one thing that I want to learn at some point because it would open doors for me beyond being a writer or content provider if you will. I am hoping that after the New Year I will be able to put the hell of 2010 behind me and, get back to normal which obviously includes my career. I have intentions of sending my material to newspapers with the hope that someone will offer me a job which would obviously be a step up from being a freelancer.

It’s been a long time of hard work and learning the craft of writing which also included some self-education because the school system wouldn’t give me the opportunity to do curriculum at grade level and that was probably because that’s how they treated disabled people, at least when I was in school. I would like to believe that it’s different now and, people would be getting the chances I didn’t get and such but I seriously have my doubts about that.

This is one reason why I have avoided going back to the schools I attended, even the schools I enjoyed and had good terms with. On one hand it would probably give me go solid sense of satisfaction for me to be able to walk in there and show the teachers assuming that their still teaching that they were wrong about me and that despite my flaws I do have a decent career as a journalist and have even done radio in the past. I am not one to toot my own horn but, I don’t know many drop outs who did that even before leaving school.

On the other hand, I don’t want to go back there and be put in a position where the school would want me to preach about how wonderful the school is and, the values of an education. I would certainly talk to them about the values of education there is nothing wrong with that and it needs to be said to today’s kids. It would be lying to the kids however, if I were to tell them that the schools is what gave me my career and or, gave me the opportunities to advance myself academically. For me to say something like that would be an outright blatant lie and, I have never been comfortable lying about anything even if it’s those little fibs you tell your parents when you’re younger to get something you want etc.

I would rather just be honest with kids about how I got to where I am which isn’t extraordinary by any means but the fact is I had to learn on my own a great deal of stuff that was never even offered to me when I was in school. For my writing, I had to really work on my grammar and my diction in order to hone my craft and eventually I was able to get enough polishing that I was able to get pretty well respected overseas. I was able to gain a position with the number one magazine in my field in a foreign country before I was 20 years old so; from a personal standpoint I am very proud of that.

My advice to you is to buckle down the best you can on your studies and you will get what you want if you are aiming for a college scholarship. I have a 16 year old nephew that I ask every day about how he does in school and it would make me feel good if he were able to get into college. If you are committed to going to college keep at it and, you will make it.

Best of luck to you.

I have had it pretty tough as well. I am a 25 year old virgin who lives with his parents. I have Aspergers and I have people on the internet who bully me, including one member of this site..

InvisibleCrane : Don’t let some unenlightened people who have nothing else better to do with their time that resort to lame bully tactics get to you. People like that are the ones I feel bad for because usually their bullying tactics can be traced to either some type of insecurity or simply just immaturity. Don’t feel bad about living with your parents. I am a week away from my 27th birthday and I share a home with my parents.

It’s a misguided stereotype that some think that sharing a home with your parents is a bad thing. I prefer to think of it as an equal support system. We’re family and, we got each other’s back and watch out for each other that is what’s most important.

Namrea : Well personally, I would be offended if a friend of mine said that to my boyfriends mother especially when we've been more than welcoming to them. Mad...not so much..upset DEFINITELY. Perhaps you should ask talk with him...maybe he doesn't realize how offended you are..those probably weren't his intentions at all. But yes I do think it was rude and I would be very upset with him and probably wouldn't talk to him until he did apologize and actually MEAN it. and i'm sorry to hear that you're in finacial problems. I myself am as well.....Things can only get better...not worse....

I'm a bigot.... so my post got changed.

I would beat the crap out of that kid. Thats very rude.

Late reply!
But seriously, what he did was wrong, and there was nothing that you could've done to have prevented it.
It's extremely rude to call on someone's background or history if that were the case, let's hope he apologises.