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Are Dads Necessary?

 

06-20-10 10:04 PM
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http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/06/20/warren.fatherhood/index.html?hpt=C2

I came across this link today.... wondering how other people feel about the issue.

Most notably I'm going to point out this stat:

"The reality we are facing as a nation is that one out of every three children lives in a father-absent home and four in 10 are born to unmarried mothers."

I think that is a statistic that is hard to imagine. But I believe it's true. It's a stat about the US of course.... but since most members here are from there I figured I would bring it up...

so. Thoughts?
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/06/20/warren.fatherhood/index.html?hpt=C2

I came across this link today.... wondering how other people feel about the issue.

Most notably I'm going to point out this stat:

"The reality we are facing as a nation is that one out of every three children lives in a father-absent home and four in 10 are born to unmarried mothers."

I think that is a statistic that is hard to imagine. But I believe it's true. It's a stat about the US of course.... but since most members here are from there I figured I would bring it up...

so. Thoughts?
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06-20-10 10:50 PM
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I don't really find that surprising at all. Now and days people just go out and have sex and really don't care for the babies or starting a family. All they want is fun, nothing serious... well once a kid is born they better get serious.

I think any father who is unmarried and has a kid and doesn't give a crap about them should be neutered and sent to jail.
I don't really find that surprising at all. Now and days people just go out and have sex and really don't care for the babies or starting a family. All they want is fun, nothing serious... well once a kid is born they better get serious.

I think any father who is unmarried and has a kid and doesn't give a crap about them should be neutered and sent to jail.
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06-20-10 10:51 PM
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Wow, that`s a truly scary statistic. I think Warren`s right, fathers truly are an irreplaceable part of the home- especially if they have sons. Those boys need a father... some male role model to whom they can look up.
I have friends whose fathers have died and whose mothers haven`t remarried, and if you were to ask them, I`m sure they would agree that dads are crucial to a strong family.
Wow, that`s a truly scary statistic. I think Warren`s right, fathers truly are an irreplaceable part of the home- especially if they have sons. Those boys need a father... some male role model to whom they can look up.
I have friends whose fathers have died and whose mothers haven`t remarried, and if you were to ask them, I`m sure they would agree that dads are crucial to a strong family.
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06-20-10 11:05 PM
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This makes me feel even more thankful that I have a mom and a dad. Dads are definitely important in a family. Btw, Happy Father's day everyone. (Geeogree, especially you, since you are a dad)
This makes me feel even more thankful that I have a mom and a dad. Dads are definitely important in a family. Btw, Happy Father's day everyone. (Geeogree, especially you, since you are a dad)
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06-20-10 11:14 PM
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bignate - while I agree that boys need a strong father figure in their lives so they know what to grow up to be like... I also think that girls need a strong father figure to teach them what kind of man they should look for when they plan on dating/getting married. I think that it is essential for the healthy development of both sons and daughters to have a father and mother in the home.

JigSaw : Yeah, it's really unfortunate. I agree about the neutered part.... but I don't really see how throwing them in jail would help the situation
bignate - while I agree that boys need a strong father figure in their lives so they know what to grow up to be like... I also think that girls need a strong father figure to teach them what kind of man they should look for when they plan on dating/getting married. I think that it is essential for the healthy development of both sons and daughters to have a father and mother in the home.

JigSaw : Yeah, it's really unfortunate. I agree about the neutered part.... but I don't really see how throwing them in jail would help the situation
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06-21-10 10:08 AM
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I grew up without a father and my mother and I agree I have suffered for it. there are just some things a mother cannot teach her son. I try to be a man the bast I can, and I'm not sure my father is one, but I missed out on significant portions of learning as a child.
I grew up without a father and my mother and I agree I have suffered for it. there are just some things a mother cannot teach her son. I try to be a man the bast I can, and I'm not sure my father is one, but I missed out on significant portions of learning as a child.
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06-21-10 11:01 AM
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Um, I'm pretty sure you need both a mom and a dad.
Um, I'm pretty sure you need both a mom and a dad.
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06-21-10 11:18 AM
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Hoochman : [sigh]. That was spam. You added nothing to the conversation. If you have nothing interesting or important to add to a thread then don't post in it.
Hoochman : [sigh]. That was spam. You added nothing to the conversation. If you have nothing interesting or important to add to a thread then don't post in it.
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06-22-10 01:30 AM
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Fathers are not always a good thing.
There are fathers that mentally abuse their children, physically abuse their wives, and are just bad people.
Honestly those types are not needed and a household is better off not having a father around in those cases.
Because a role model like that is a horrid one.
A family doesnt need a person like that around at all, and children can and do grow up fine without fathers.
I'm certain that those children that suffered mental abuse by their fathers would be much better off if they had no fathers at all.
Fathers are not always a good thing.
There are fathers that mentally abuse their children, physically abuse their wives, and are just bad people.
Honestly those types are not needed and a household is better off not having a father around in those cases.
Because a role model like that is a horrid one.
A family doesnt need a person like that around at all, and children can and do grow up fine without fathers.
I'm certain that those children that suffered mental abuse by their fathers would be much better off if they had no fathers at all.
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06-22-10 02:20 AM
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I disagree completely, but only with respect to your use of the word father. My title did say Are Dads Necessary.... but it really should have clarified to Are Fathers Necessary.

Anyone can be a dad.... the male parent. But not every male can be a father.

I agree that in some cases the family is better off without the male genetic provider. But that isn't really the issue. The issue is whether kids truly need fathers and mothers.... the article even spends some time on the issue of whether it's good enough to simply have a provider of financial benefit or if there was a real benefit to having both a male and female role model in the home.

I think a big problem in North America (and probably all over the world... but I haven't been everywhere else) is that men are not stepping up to their roles as fathers. There is a big diference between simply being a financial provider and being a positive influence in your childerns lives.
I disagree completely, but only with respect to your use of the word father. My title did say Are Dads Necessary.... but it really should have clarified to Are Fathers Necessary.

Anyone can be a dad.... the male parent. But not every male can be a father.

I agree that in some cases the family is better off without the male genetic provider. But that isn't really the issue. The issue is whether kids truly need fathers and mothers.... the article even spends some time on the issue of whether it's good enough to simply have a provider of financial benefit or if there was a real benefit to having both a male and female role model in the home.

I think a big problem in North America (and probably all over the world... but I haven't been everywhere else) is that men are not stepping up to their roles as fathers. There is a big diference between simply being a financial provider and being a positive influence in your childerns lives.
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06-22-10 02:26 AM
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I do think that dads are important because they have to "ya' know" your mother to create you.
I do think that dads are important because they have to "ya' know" your mother to create you.
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06-22-10 02:36 AM
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What I'm saying is that if the male role model, whether you want to call that father, dad, uncle, whatever, is like how I mentioned the household is better off without them.

I'm not exactly sure of the difference you are meaning between father and dad either.
But in any case I dont think children absolutely need a male parent/role model/etc to grow up properly, even if it is a nice guy (rather then a scumbag).
What I'm saying is that if the male role model, whether you want to call that father, dad, uncle, whatever, is like how I mentioned the household is better off without them.

I'm not exactly sure of the difference you are meaning between father and dad either.
But in any case I dont think children absolutely need a male parent/role model/etc to grow up properly, even if it is a nice guy (rather then a scumbag).
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06-22-10 08:36 PM
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DarkHyren : The distinction is in the meaning: in this case, a "dad" is the male genetic provider... the biological father, if you will. But then there's the real father. He's the one that cares for the children, and is basically the opposite of the illustration you gave. The distinction here is not that we're talking about the biological father alone. Say he died, or is like the horrible dad in your example: if the mother re-marries, then if the next guy truly loves the children, even though they don't share his genes, he is the real father. At least that's what I think he's getting at. I believe if the biological father's love and presence is out of the question, the mother should remarry, to another, loving man, who will be a real father to her children.
DarkHyren : The distinction is in the meaning: in this case, a "dad" is the male genetic provider... the biological father, if you will. But then there's the real father. He's the one that cares for the children, and is basically the opposite of the illustration you gave. The distinction here is not that we're talking about the biological father alone. Say he died, or is like the horrible dad in your example: if the mother re-marries, then if the next guy truly loves the children, even though they don't share his genes, he is the real father. At least that's what I think he's getting at. I believe if the biological father's love and presence is out of the question, the mother should remarry, to another, loving man, who will be a real father to her children.
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06-22-10 09:51 PM
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While I think that having a father figure is a good thing, I would not say that it is necessary. There are plenty of kids that have grown up without fathers and been just fine. I do agree with you on the dads not stepping up to the plate though, it is ridiculous how often it happens.
While I think that having a father figure is a good thing, I would not say that it is necessary. There are plenty of kids that have grown up without fathers and been just fine. I do agree with you on the dads not stepping up to the plate though, it is ridiculous how often it happens.
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06-22-10 11:29 PM
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Elara - fair enough.... however, I think those kids that make it through without fathers are the exception to the rule. They got through it in spite of not having a father around.
Elara - fair enough.... however, I think those kids that make it through without fathers are the exception to the rule. They got through it in spite of not having a father around.
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06-23-10 09:25 PM
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I heard about this study on "The Colbert Report", I think.
Adds a little twist to the topic.


Lesbians raise better kids
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-study-lesbians-raise-better-kids.html


EDIT: It was on "The Colbert Report". Here is the video link, its pretty funny.
http://www.sdgln.com/commentary/2010/06/16/video-stephen-colbert-upset-lesbians-raise-good-kids
I heard about this study on "The Colbert Report", I think.
Adds a little twist to the topic.


Lesbians raise better kids
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-study-lesbians-raise-better-kids.html


EDIT: It was on "The Colbert Report". Here is the video link, its pretty funny.
http://www.sdgln.com/commentary/2010/06/16/video-stephen-colbert-upset-lesbians-raise-good-kids
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(edited by tonetone714 on 06-23-10 10:04 PM)    

06-23-10 10:52 PM
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My brother grew up with a father that was in and out. The only reason his dad ever saw him was to drop off money and my brother has learned everything else through friends and some family. He has never really had a father figure to teach him sports, but he excels in sports. Some times a father is necessary, but other times it doesn't really impact the kid. I guess it all has to do with the kid and what type of environment they grow up in.
My brother grew up with a father that was in and out. The only reason his dad ever saw him was to drop off money and my brother has learned everything else through friends and some family. He has never really had a father figure to teach him sports, but he excels in sports. Some times a father is necessary, but other times it doesn't really impact the kid. I guess it all has to do with the kid and what type of environment they grow up in.
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06-23-10 11:54 PM
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but here is the point I'm trying to get across...

what is that father wasn't an in and out kinda guy. What if he stuck it out and was supportive and loving and all the other things a good father is for his kids?

I personally think if Dad's would step up and stop being so selfish with their time then we wouldn't have as many problem kids. But that's just my opinion
but here is the point I'm trying to get across...

what is that father wasn't an in and out kinda guy. What if he stuck it out and was supportive and loving and all the other things a good father is for his kids?

I personally think if Dad's would step up and stop being so selfish with their time then we wouldn't have as many problem kids. But that's just my opinion
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06-26-10 08:31 PM
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This situation definitely is sad but I do believe fathers are necessary. I grew up without a father & although I think I turned out ok(I certainly hope so ), I missed having a father. I was lucky to have other role models around though.


JigSaw : I agree with the neutering/throwing in jail thing. My only difference is that my parents were married & got divorced because the "sperm donor" was a jerk.
This situation definitely is sad but I do believe fathers are necessary. I grew up without a father & although I think I turned out ok(I certainly hope so ), I missed having a father. I was lucky to have other role models around though.


JigSaw : I agree with the neutering/throwing in jail thing. My only difference is that my parents were married & got divorced because the "sperm donor" was a jerk.
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It's horrible how some fathers do that to their family. The least they can do is show up ounce in a while. I agree on how not having a father can mess up a kids life, even though I have a dad, but some are either killed by vilonce, wich theres alot now, or , wich is the worst part, Loser-like cowards whocant stand up and be a man. I have 1 friend who dosnt have a dad, but his moms getting re-married, and a couple others whose parents are divorced. If you ask me. I think dads are very neccessary.
It's horrible how some fathers do that to their family. The least they can do is show up ounce in a while. I agree on how not having a father can mess up a kids life, even though I have a dad, but some are either killed by vilonce, wich theres alot now, or , wich is the worst part, Loser-like cowards whocant stand up and be a man. I have 1 friend who dosnt have a dad, but his moms getting re-married, and a couple others whose parents are divorced. If you ask me. I think dads are very neccessary.
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