Okay, hi guys.

It's been a while if i remember correctly. I've been online every now and then, just taking a timeout because of the issues and drama i've heard of. Maybe it's all over, maybe not. But guess what? I don't even care about that anymore.

Maybe i should return. Maybe not. People on here still kinda hate me, but people also like to be my friend. It's a mix of many situations. I mean, i know i did bad things on here but i've changed so much that i can say "The past is the past.".

Things changed in real life too. One thing is that i'm unhappy as being male. I discussed this with my parents too and told them i wanted to switch genders. I became depressed for a week or two. And another thing is that i'm turning 18 soon. So i'm gonna have to move to a new place. My parents and i moved from Oss to Den Bosch, but i, myself, need to go to Rosmalen to get help for my autism and all that stuff i've explained to some people.

But yeah, i don't know if i should return and if i do, i don't know if i'm active again then.

Hmm...I see. As for others, I'm sure they won't have anything against your return.

I don't know what
happened but I disappeared
too so maybe rejoin with me?
Remember, past is not equal
to future.
I'm in pretty much the same
situation if you want to talk sometime!

-----------------------
edit note: i didnt realize
that this theme would break
my posts lol i changed it but
edits dont i think?

Welcome back, man! It surely has been a while!

I wish I had something to say so I could encourage you to stay, but I'm unable to come up with anything. What I can tell you is that it's hard to find the drive to stay active, all of us have had a time where we just wandered around without no real purpose. If it wasn't for my staff role, there would be days or even weeks where I wouldn't do anything at all around here besides lurking in the shadows.

You should give this site another try. I don't think the currently active userbase harbors any hatred for you, so they could be willing to give you a chance for "redemption". However, the final call is yours, and if you do stay, some users will be here to support you.

Let me get this straight.

You posted to tell us you may or may not return but you are giving it thought.

This baffles me.  I've never understood indecision or when people talk about what they're thinking about doing next.  Maybe you're testing the waters to see how anyone responds before you start doing things.  That makes some sense.  Otherwise, what's the objective of posting?  Jump back into this or don't.

Allow me to give you two unsolicited pieces of advice:

1.  If you like something, keep doing it.  If you don't, make a change.  That goes for websites, real life, everything and anything.  If you dislike something or you don't feel welcome or it's not fun anymore, stop doing it.  If you hope to recreate that feeling Vizzed had maybe two, three or five years ago, you won't find that.  Traffic on the boards is down to nearly nothing and the community simply isn't what it was any more.  Join us or don't but it won't be like the old days.

2.  No matter what, there will be people who don't like you.  That's it.  You may find someone or several someones on here who hate you.  Or at least say they hate you.  Either way, they're spending emotional energy on you which gives you a sort of power over them.  But it doesn't matter, nor should it, how they feel about you.  Just be yourself, be kind to everyone, and if someone hates you, move past it.  If you find someone who doesn't like you, spend no time on them.  Simply move on.  That helps in the real world too.

Come back or don't.  But don't tell us about how you're thinking about it.  Take action, be a man (or woman if you prefer), and DECIDE.  There is power in decision and action.  Find it.

Good luck.

Simply put, it's your decision. I chose to stay on vizzed but stop posting often. It may seem selfish that I traded that for spending so much time in the RGR recording videos but it's a cool way to contributing to vizzed and it doesn't stress me out unlike trying to find places to post

I hope you're feeling a lot better now and I'm praying that you will. I don't have anything to say about your possible gender change besides that I'm glad you didn't just hide it and become more depressed.

Good luck with moving out! I have a ways to go until I'm 18 but moving out is a scary thought for me and I know it's a hard thing to go through.