OK, let's give this update a shoot.

Reminder, these were your choices.

-----

pacman1755 : 2. Ask the guard into your cell for some coffee.
megamanmaniac : 4. Ask the guard to kindly let you out.
mlb789 : 5. Ask the guard what level he is.

-----

STORY SPLIT
supernerd117 : 4. Attack brick wall.

styrofoamboots : 3. Attack the cell door.

-----

sonicmcmuffin : 3. Wait patiently for the guard to leave.

-----

pacman1755 - story
megamanmaniac - story
mlb789 - story

: I think I want some coffee. Hey guard, want to come in here for some coffee?

PACMAN1755 ROLLS 1d20. PACMAN1755 ROLLS 13. FAILURE.

: No. I hate coffee and I hate you.

: Drats. It was worth a shot, but I didn't think that would actually work anyways.

: Ok. Well, guard, how about you let me out? That would be most excellent.

MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 1d20. MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 18. FAILURE.

: No.

: Oh well. If you don't shoot, you can't score.

: Idiots. So hey, guard, what level are you, anyway? Not gonna attack or nothing. Just striking up conversation for the first time in 24 years.

MLB789 ROLLS 1d20. MLB789 ROLLS 7. SUCCESS.

: I am level 324, and I can almost certainly kick your ass from here to Leggy City.

: Right, I sort of figured that, but it's best to know these things in advance.

: You say something, pipsqueak?

: No, nothing. Just thinking what large muscles you have.

: Damn straight, jabroni.

PACMAN1755, MEGAMANMANIAC, MLB789 CHOICE
1. Attack the guard from behind your cell bars.
2. Attack the guard's pride. He's watching a bunch of kids in a jail cell for Pete's Sake.
3. Make a bunch of super annoying jokes.
4. Ask the guard to take you to the manager of the jail.
5. Go to sleep on the cold hard floor.
6. Distract guard. (NOTE - This option is only open to one person, first come, first serve.)
7. Staring contest with guard

-----

supernerd117 - story

: I do declare, I don't like the way that brick wall is looking at me. I do believe I will attack it. Here I come, you brute!

SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 1d20. SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 3. FAILURE.

He then swings mightily at what he assumes is the wall, but ends up swinging so far that not only does he not hit the wall, but he actually ends up punching himself in the face. Angered at himself, supernerd117 completely forgets the wall is there and starts questioning his own fist as to why it would attack him with so much fury.

Hey, 24 years will do that to a guy.

SUPERNERD117 CHOICES
1. Continue to attack yourself.
2. Calm down and talk to your first rationally.
3. Pout.
4. Go to sleep.
5. Stare at the brick wall with the red hot intensity of a thousand suns.

-----

styrofoamboots - story

: Those guys are not making any progress. Time to attack this cell door!

STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 1d20. STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 12. SUCCESS.

: You will regret taking on me!

BATTLE START! Initiative to STYROFOAMBOOTS!

STYROFOAMBOOTS CHOICES
1. Attack!
2. Talk to the jail cell
3. Defend!
4. Run Away!
5. Cry!

-----

sonicmcmuffin - story

: I think the best course of action is to be patient.

SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 1d20. SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 7. SUCCESS.

Basically, he sits there, and watches all the other participants play while he sits there, a boring lump in a jail cell. Whether it was asking about the guard's level, asking a buff guard to look the other way and let him out, or seeing his girlfriend attack the cell door, they all did something.

He has chosen the toughest of all routes. Doing nothing. That can't be too fun.

Maybe if I make a joke, his experience will be more fun.

Wait, I'm not running a day care. It's not my job to give him all fun all the time. He should have chosen an option that was more likely to actually result in something happening. When has waiting ever done anything for anyone!?

SONICMCMUFFIN CHOICES
1. Attempt to unlock door with key.
2. Attempt to unlock brick wall with key.
3. Yell for the guard.
4. Attack your kindred floorboards.

-----



If I can stick to an update a day, maybe we'll actually get somewhere. Of course, that relies on you guys being active. We'll see how long this lasts

I think this is off to a good start though...

Well alright, since charisma is my highest stat I think I'll go with option 2. Talk to the jail cell.
Maybe I'm going insane?

Im going to do something really risky and call the guard and ask him what the key is for... and perhaps we could trade 

DOUBLE POST.... WHY WOULD I EVER ATTACK THE FLOOR... IT'S MY BRETHREN :p

3. Might as well try something.

I'm going for Option #2. He's got to have some kind of soul, right?

...right?

Lets go with 4. I'm sure seeing the manager might help.

I'm going to talk to myself rationally. Maybe me, myself and I can sort this all out between ourselves.

Time for an update, and also a rule update. This hasn't been an issue yet, but I've decided to cover my own ass pre-emptively...

IF ANY OF THE ACTIVE PLAYERS ASK ME TO UPDATE THIS GAME I WILL DELAY THE UPDATE A SINGLE DAY FOR EACH INSTANCE I WAS ASKED TO UPDATE.

If I haven't updated in 24 hours, relax. I have a life. I have friends. I have family. I have hobbies outside of updating this singular game. I don't forget to update Mafia, and I won't forget to update this. If I for whatever reason go radio silent for a full week, with no explanation, THEN you may ask me about the update. But that's pretty much the only time you should ask.

I had a player in the previous round ask me to update nearly constantly. And it got f***ing annoying and made me hate the game, because each update was delayed, and then later forced, so I wouldn't have to hear it.

So please, don't be like them. Let this game happen naturally. I did this not because a player asked me to update, but because we have a new player or two, and they don't know what this one player put me through. So that said...

UPDATE TIME!

-----

pacman1755 : 2. Attack the guard's pride. He's watching a bunch of kids in a jail cell for Pete's Sake.
megamanmaniac : 4. Ask the guard to take you to the manager of the jail.
mlb789 : 3. Make a bunch of super annoying jokes.

-----

supernerd117 : 2. Calm down and talk to your fist rationally.

-----

styrofoamboots : 2. Talk to the jail cell

-----

sonicmcmuffin : 3. Yell for the guard.

-----

pacman1755 - story
megamanmaniac - story
mlb789 - story

: OK, so we got off on the wrong foot, would you mind taking me to the manager?

MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 1d20. MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 12. SUCCESS.

: I am the manager.

: Oh, that's wonderful. So so wonderful.

: I know, right? That's wicked convenient for you. And for me. Because I'm not letting you out of the cell. Ever.

: Well, that aside, want to hear some jokes?

: Eh, I guess.

MLB789 ROLLS 1d20. MLB789 ROLLS 15. SUCCESS.

: What happens if you throw a red rock into the blue sea?

: Hm... it turns purple?

: No. It gets wet.

: ...

: ...

: ... ha.

: Does this make you feel good, locking little kids in jail cells?

PACMAN1755 ROLLS 1d20. PACMAN1755 ROLLS 20! SUPER LUCKY FUN TIME YES.

: I'm not the one who locked you in here. So no, I don't really feel good or bad about it. It's a paycheck.

: Then who did lock us up?

: Nobody, you guys literally just teleported in one day, and we decided to keep you where you teleported.

: Oh, right. I almost forgot that we teleported here.

: Understandable. Twenty-four years has a habit of messing with people's memories. Like I think I was once a ballet dancer.

: ...

: Hey guard! Over here!

The guard walks over to Tyri's jail cell for a brief period of time.

PACMAN1755, MLB789, MEGAMANMANIAC CHOICES
1. Attack jail cell door in desperation.
2. Attack brick wall in desperation.
3. Sleep in desperation.
4. Call guard back over to you.
5. Kick the floor.

-----

supernerd117 - story

: So... fist. We need to have a chat.

Your fist doesn't respond.

: I'm serious, fist, I want this to work out.

SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 1d20. SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 8. SUCCESS.

: So can we talk?

Your fist doesn't respond. It is a fist.

: You are kind of a dick, fist.

SUPERNERD117 CHOICES
1. Attack fist.
2. Attack jail cell door in desperation.
3. Kick Floor.
4. Call guard over.
5. Sleep.

-----

styrofoamboots - story

: Yo, jail cell, I don't really want to "fight", I want to talk. I know what I did and what I'm saying are contradictory, but hear me out.

STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 1d20. STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 10. SUCCESS.

: OK. We're talking.

: So how are you?

: OK, I guess. Could be worse.

: I doubt you are about to open up politely for me.

: You would be correct. I don't get paid if I let you go, and I have a wife and kids to feed.

: Understandable.

STYROFOAMBOOTS CHOICES
1. Attack!
2. (Ask specific question/say specific thing to jail cell door)
3. Defend!
4. Run Away!
5. Cry!

-----

sonicmcmuffin - story

: It's now or never, I suppose...

SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 1d20. SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 3. SUCCESS.

: Understandable. Twenty-four years has a habit of messing with people's memories. Like I think I was once a ballet dancer.

: ...

: Hey guard! Over here!

The guard makes his way over to Tyri's jail cell, to see what he wants.

SONICMCMUFFIN CHOICES
1. Give key to guard.
2. Ask guard about key.
3. Ask guard to let you out.
4. Tell the guard he was mistaken and you didn't call for him.
5. Stare blankly at guard.
6. (SPECIFIC STATEMENT TO GUARD)

-----



As always, your map is above, but it's not very useful right now... or is it? hohoho

Aw right, I'll do what I would do in real life then. The top tier of actions I am most excellent at. I choose option 2! I'll use some bumpy smooth words, "I have a large inheritance, if you let me out I can pay you very handsomely."

Kick the floor. We gotta get out and make progress sometime.

6) Hey sexy ballet man, I have this key and I want to check to see if it opens my door without being attacked, After all, nobody knows why we are here and we could have been teleported here, is that okay? *bats eyelashes seductively*

I choose to kick the floor. If Tyri has become one with the floor, it makes sense that this would be an act of sadism, therefore causing pain to him in at least a small degree.

Kick the floor. 3 kickers are better than 1.

Might as well kick the floor.

Time for an update, and certainly the last one you will receive in 24 hours, no matter how fast you respond. I have plans, and will not be in to update. So you'll just have to wait.

That said... update, go!

-----

pacman1755 : 5. Kick the floor.
megamanmaniac : 5. Kick the floor.
mlb789 : 5. Kick the floor.

-----

supernerd117 : 3. Kick Floor.

-----

styrofoamboots : 2. (Ask specific question/say specific thing to jail cell door) "I have a large inheritance, if you let me out I can pay you very handsomely."

-----

sonicmcmuffin : 6. (SPECIFIC STATEMENT TO GUARD) "Hey sexy ballet man, I have this key and I want to check to see if it opens my door without being attacked, After all, nobody knows why we are here and we could have been teleported here, is that okay?" *bats eyelashes seductively*

-----

pacman1755 - story
megamanmaniac - story
mlb789 - story

: There's only one logical conclusion. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

: Yes! I am thinking what you are thinking.

: What are you thinking?

: Kick the floor!

: I was not thinking what you were thinking, but now I am thinking it, so I am thinking what you are thinking!

: On three! One... two...

MLB789 ROLLS 1d20. MLB789 ROLLS 17. SUCCESS.
PACMAN1755 ROLLS 1d20. PACMAN1755 ROLLS 13. SUCCESS.
MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 1d20. MEGAMANMANIAC ROLLS 5. SUCCESS.

: Three!

You all simultaneously kick the floor.

Absolutely nothing happens.

Nope.

PACMAN1755, MLB789, MEGAMANMANIAC CHOICES
1. Attack jail cell door in desperation.
2. Attack brick wall in desperation.
3. Sleep in desperation.
4. Call guard back over to you.

-----

supernerd117 - story

: Hm... I wonder if kicking the floor will have any effect.

SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 1d20. SUPERNERD117 ROLLS 4. FAILURE.

You aim to try and kick the floor, but slip on a banana peel or something and conk your head on the floor, instead of kicking it. Nothing happens, but your pride is most definitely hurt. How embarrassing for you.

SUPERNERD117 CHOICES
1. Attack jail cell door in desperation.
2. Call guard over.
3. Sleep.

-----

styrofoamboots - story

: Jail Cell Door, I have a large inheritance, if you let me out I can pay you very handsomely.

STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 1d20. STYROFOAMBOOTS ROLLS 12. FAILURE

: I'm not sure I can believe you.

: It's true.

: You do realize you were dumped here by a black hole. Whatever universe you belong to is closed off to you. How are you going to pay me?

: Oh. Right. I conveniently forgot about that. Silly me.

: Silly you, indeed. Next time, try something more believable. Persuasion can only get you so far. I'm gullible, but come on.

: Gullible you say...

STYROFOAMBOOTS CHOICES
1. Attack!
2. (Ask specific question/say specific thing to jail cell door)
3. Defend!
4. Run Away!
5. Cry!

-----

sonicmcmuffin - story

: Hey sexy ballet man, I have this key and I want to check to see if it opens my door without being attacked, After all, nobody knows why we are here and we could have been teleported here, is that okay?

You then bat your eyes seductively.

SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 1d20. SONICMCMUFFIN ROLLS 15. SUCCESS.

: Hm. When you put it that way, yeah, it makes sense that you'd want to test your key on the cell door. I can't really get in anyway. I don't have the key to the cell door. So knock yourself out.

With the greenlight presented, you try and use the key on the cell door. After a few minutes of fiddling in the dark, you discover there is no lock on the door. Whatever the key goes to, it doesn't go to the door.

: Huh. That's strange. It's for the best anyways. If it had worked, I'd have to kick your ass and all. You know. My job.

You've never been so thankful that something didn't work out as planned.

SONICMCMUFFIN CHOICES
1. Give key to guard.
2. Ask guard about key.
3. Ask guard to let you out.
4. Tell the guard he was mistaken and you didn't call for him.
5. Stare blankly at guard.
6. (SPECIFIC STATEMENT TO GUARD)
7. (USE KEY ON _________)

-----



Well there you have it. An update where four people tried to kick the floor, and somehow it all worked out for me. This wasn't as boring an update as I was thinking it would be.

6) So considering my door doesn't have a lock... I cannot really be a prisoner, Which means you can't be a prison guard, Which means you have no authority to stop me from leaving, Which means I can leave..  So can you please just see what all that floor kicking ruckus is about as I casually let myself out from my non existent jail. 

Alright, I don't know how well this will work but I'll go with option 5 then. Because it's what I would probably honestly do.

You suck.

Call the guard over here again.

4. I'm gonna follow suit for a bit.