Totts :  Do you think this is all a figment of my imagination since I talked with my friends saying I don't believe in ghosts, and they always told me if I don't, then they will haunt me? Maybe I'm just seeing things that aren't really there...

Well, I finally started to find time to check this thread out. Well, I find things very weird. I feel that someone is hacking into my computer .-. What should I do?

Black Bot : I would suggest you immediately disconnect yourself form the internet and run and anti-virus scan and malware.

If you have done that and am still confident that your computer has been compromised when you are sure beyond all reasonable doubt that it is not, I would suggest you look at what is causing you anxiety in other parts of your life that is expressing it self through your suspicion that your computer is being hacked.

A real fear is legitimate but if its more a case of paranoia it can stop you from doing the things you really want to do in life.

My advice get someone to look at your computer you can trust and then go out and do something fun that is completely un computer related, things should soon fall into perspective, let me know how it goes, I will be thinking of you.

Totts : Well, I already ran a scan and all that. (It does it every hour or so) 

My parents did look at my computer, still couldn't find who was behind it. So we tried some odd stuff.... which actually made my computer SLOWER.

Barely anything on YouTube works, but I KNOW someone is hacking into my computer now and doing ridiculous things. Plus that's one reason I can only post like 4 posts per hour even if I tried instead of like 30. o:

If there is any way I can do something about it without downloading something, that would be great.

Black Bot : Thank you for being such a keen poster, your loyalty is noted. I am not sure as a 'agony aunt' I am the best person to help you with computer related problems. But if it is causing you distress, hurt or pain, then I am definitely the person on Vizzed to come to.

Please let me know how you are feeling about all this.

Totts : Someone is also hacking into my skype account, saying inappropiate language to my best friends. But I still never knew who it was. He or she was also deleting some of my contacts and stuff.

It's not THAT big when I think about it, but I just wanted some advice if you understand. o:

But I still don't want to make a new skype or anything.

Still anything I should do? o:

I think someone is watching me type this post right now, any type of help is appreciated.

Why thank you, you really helped, can I ask you would it be okay to buy him a present or would he think I was being silly?

jinkies1 : Gifts can be meaningless, the same as saying sorry can be, if not backed up by actions. You should should your family what they mean to you by actions, they speak louder than words can ever do and gifts. We give gifts to show someone that we appreciate them in modern western society, but gift giving is actually structural linguistically a lot more complex then that, just ask Levi-Struass.

So what I think would be great is to buy a ticket to a fun park or a concert for you both and that way your experience and bonding time together will mean a lot more and be more fondly remembered than a gift ever will.

I am thinking of you and good luck.

Totts : Well, first of all the story is 99% true except for the names but everything else happened.

On Tuesday, our Dutch teacher (since I'm Dutch it means it's the same as a English teacher for Americans) told us we were supposed to make a review for a movie we've watched but nobody knew about it. We started to protest but our teacher said she had told us before when to do it. I thought 'alright, might have missed it' but then she also said we made some kind of 'test project' and some guy named 'Mark van Drommels' told us about it. I was 100% sure that wasn't true, and so was everybody else so of course we protested again.

Then our Dutch teacher told she almost wanted to stop teaching us as we were only yelling at her. She said if we had problems with sending it to her (it had to be done on the computer with some kind of program) we had to go to some computer guy named 'Carl' and we know Carl is an easy guy who always has to do all the things that go wrong with computers so we started to laugh and then she said to one of the hardest laughing boys: 'Yeah, it isn't that hard right Marcel?'. That was pretty harsh so he said: 'What?! That's disrespectful, I don't say ''Yeah, mrs. Grands'' either do I?'. And then our teacher just walked away. At first we were proud of that boy since everybody dislikes that teacher but later the rector got angry at us and we had to apologize.

I feel bad since I think it's our Dutch teacher who is the one who did wrong here, not we. Of course, it's a bit rough to say such a thing against a teacher but if you can't handle a thing or two as a teacher then you're pretty weak. Don't think this is the first thing she did, she did many other things which aren't right. I would like to talk about our mentor with it but he would probably say we were too busy or that it's not his problem or he would talk with her and she would tell a different story. What should we (me and my class) do?

Totts : I have a fear of riding huge ships ever since I saw the movie Titanic. I know it's silly because it's a movie but it was based on an real event that happened. Seeing that movie many times as a child has made me not want to go on even small boats. I live in New York and I can't even ride the Staten Island Fairy to go see my aunt and cousins anymore. I would always have to take a cab. Do you have any advice to give me to help with this fear of mine Totts ?

juuldude : Wow, you have a really really cool post layout, let me say that to you first, I love how refreshing it is with the pale blue imagery. One of the best, it would make a good nomination for my post layout awards if it haz not already been registered on the registration thread I created.

But thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed and interesting post. It is good you changed names to protect identity as that is most respectful and makes it possible to reply hypothetically as opposed to involving real people which is not possible always to do unless we heard their side of the story to be fair to them.

I did not know you were Dutch, that is really exciting my friend is Dutch and he talks a lot about his time at school and college and what went on, so it was exciting to hear your side of the events from your perspective at school.

I think you should speak to the teacher privately not in front of the class and have a nice chat with her. She probably made a mistake or something which confused the class, but to then ridicule her and laugh - not you but the others - is tough, why don't you apologise on behalf of the class and see what the next steps with her.

She probably did do something wrong by what you say, but you all have to move on and work together to get things back on track and moving.


She may appreciate that you speak to her first rather than your mentor as then she may know how strongly you feel but also be impressed that you were respecting her as a person by not telling tales and coming straight to her. That way you are giving her a chance to change before you involve others, which may happen anyway but at least your conscious will be clear that you in fact did try everything possible to avoid just such a situation but as it was not handled properly then it had to escalate to take things to another level and then go and involve a second or a third party and you spoke to your mentor. Speaking to others and making a report is most important if yours or anyone else is at risk of potential harm, so it is good to report and speak out, but if it is more like that of a disagreement then it would be that this should be sorted like adult and this means she needs to listen to you and for her means speaking and talking and listening and you being able to put your points across to her.


The depth of discussion is what is key here. How are your other classes going? Hope everything is going well.
If she can listen then it will work well and growth will occurr

Totts : Okay, I'll divide my reply in separate parts:

1) Thank you, I'm happy with my layout as well since it's a lot more bright compared to most of the layouts here.

2) Thanks, I thought that would be smart in case someone else would read it

3) You have a Dutch friend? That's pretty cool! Did you ever eat something typically Dutch?

4) Your idea isn't so bad but I've had two problems with this teacher and when I talked to her it didn't solve so much, that's why I don't know if it's so great to talk to her.  Also, it's a problem not only concerning me but the class as well so maybe I should ask their opinions about it too. We also have just one more lesson with her and then the year is almost over so we won't see her so much now.

5) My other classes are going well, I have good grades, nice friends and everything is going well It's just that this is on my mind and I don't know what to do.

cnw64 : Wow what an excellent post reply from an excellent user! Thank you for making this thread that bit brighter!

I understand your fear of riding big ships, especially after seeing Titanic, yes boats can sink and disasters in terms of casualties do occur.

My suggestion is that you have to put this in perspective, compared to cars they are much much much safer. I have ridden lots of boats and had no accidents, but in the car - yes!

Yet I know that my life would be sadder for not getting on a boat or in a car.

Don't call your fears silly thought, I want to tell you that they are there to serve a purpose and are there to look after and protect you. But when this protection stops us form moving forward and becoming the person we want to be then that is when we may want to acknowledge them, thank them, honor their contribution to out lives and move forward.

If you really wanted to cure your fear Susan Jeffers said feel the fear and do it anyway. The mantra is to say to yourself and out loud what ever happens, I can handle it!

One idea that may work is you can buy a life preserver that is completely flat and can be worn against the body so discretely, even under clothes that nobody will know it is even there. But if you should ever get into problems, just pull the cable and boom!!!! your safe.

With your new transitional object (that is what we call these devices, like attack alarms, a phone set on police speed dial, it allows a person to do something, this was shown on tv in cartoon for Jumbo the elephant he could not fly without holding a feather that was given to him by Jiminie the cricket.

So go on a boat that is tied up and not going anywhere first to desensitise yourself and then keep doing one more step and one more step.

One thing I just remembered about the Staten Island Ferry. I was on it once, and you know what it did crash, yes it hit a moring post and bang! window cracked everyone fell over alarms and my friend was on it the first time. The hardened passengers did not even flinch but she was a wreck. They said relax sweetheart what don't kill you makes you stronger, and you know what she got up and said thank you and we all left that boat feeling braver then we had ever done before.

A fear is a precious part of you, this is the reverse of the pathologising perspective we are told by doctors and if we are kind to it (ourselves) we can loosen the hold they have over us.

Failing that you should walk around which a huge wardrobe door with you, if you hear one hint of a bang lay down on top of it and don't even let the love of your life on top with you even when there is room to save their life, oh hold on that was titanic, BUT SHE survived!

Good luck and thank you for trusting totts she is always there for you and wants to help.

Pointless post here please ignore.

Totts : I'm not as much as a brave and confidant person. Who a lot of people say I may out to be....though I try my best on many things to make people happy, and to stop this fear. Its something that I lived with, due to how I grew up being bullied and whatnot. How can I try to be more brave more often? Its something I don't want to rush......I know what I can do be out of bravery and confidence. But, sometimes I have to force myself to do it for the greater good, for me and for my friends on here....

Eniitan : Thank you for your post, I read it with a deep degree of sincerity and deepness. I know you are a great user and many people can see that and what I can definitely say is that you make me happy. You are the reasons I created this post for. Thank you for sharing them.

tgags123 : Its okay to make a mistake, but perhaps you can think of something you would like advice on, I would really love to help and be there for you.

Totts : Thank you for the advice and thinking of me it means a lot to know you are doing that.

Can I ask? What should I get my aunty (mom's sister) for her Birthday it is comin' up soon.

She will be 29 and does not like things to girly and does not even wear that much make up.

I can't think what to get, last year I got her an Iphone case, but she already I found out had one.

Any ideas at all would be really apprecited.

Totts : Thank you....that means so much totts I am glad I was able to help you in a way, as you are helping me now. I feel happy that you are very happy. I'll continue to do whats best, and help people when needed. ^-^

Eniitan : Thank you, this is just what the Trust Totts thread is here to do, to help others. Helping is also a two way process and you have helped me a lot and made me much happier, thank you.

Totts : I can't believe that you tak ethe time to read all our posts and help so much. Can you help me with my homework also ;-)