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How fast should relationships progress?
10-13-12 10:57 PM
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I personally think it's a crying shame that most people nowadays seem to think it's A - okay to sleep with someone on the first day, or even to taste the back of the other person's throat. For me personally, I dated this one guy for five months before he kissed me, and even then, it was a simple kiss on the cheek. I will not deny that it was HARD, but I guarantee you that first kiss meant so much to me after having to wait that long. However, I think a month is a good amount of time for receiving a first kiss. (And I don't mean the type of kiss where you try to eat the other's tongue.) For me personally, I dated this one guy for five months before he kissed me, and even then, it was a simple kiss on the cheek. I will not deny that it was HARD, but I guarantee you that first kiss meant so much to me after having to wait that long. However, I think a month is a good amount of time for receiving a first kiss. (And I don't mean the type of kiss where you try to eat the other's tongue.) |
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10-13-12 11:00 PM
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Well, my current girlfriend and I didn't share our first kiss until a year and 4 months after we started dating. We also lived on other ends of the country, but it was so worth it.
Relationships should progress about as fast as you and your partner are comfortable. For some it might mean kissing on the 3rd date, and for some, it may be a month or two months before you are comfortable. There is no right or wrong, it's all in your own perception. Relationships should progress about as fast as you and your partner are comfortable. For some it might mean kissing on the 3rd date, and for some, it may be a month or two months before you are comfortable. There is no right or wrong, it's all in your own perception. |
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10-14-12 01:14 AM
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I agree with legacyme3, it all depends on how comfortable each person is. I think that if one person isn't ready when you are, you should definitely give them time and wait until they're comfortable. For me, I don't like to move fast at all. If the guy can't wait, then he wasn't worth my time in the first place. |
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10-14-12 02:09 PM
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Singelli : From personal experience it isn’t necessarily a good thing when a relationship moves quickly. At least it hasn’t proven good for me. I think it’s best to really get to know the person and that is something that can only be accomplished over time. It’s one thing I frankly regret about most of my relationships is that it either moved fast or I didn’t really give myself a chance to really get to know the person before I got into the relationship. Immaturity, young and dumb, lessons learned.
Far as getting to know a person I think it’s important to really get to know a person and find out what kind of person they are. If they have any character, similar values as yours and such. It has to be beyond sharing similar interests. It’s something I really wish I thought of more when I was younger… Far as getting to know a person I think it’s important to really get to know a person and find out what kind of person they are. If they have any character, similar values as yours and such. It has to be beyond sharing similar interests. It’s something I really wish I thought of more when I was younger… |
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10-14-12 04:45 PM
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It depends on how comfortable the person your going out with is (pretty much similar to what Leggy and Sunflower said.) You don't want to progress to fast in the relationship that you end up losing the spark you had when you first dated (fire starts quick and can also be put out quick); however I would say 5 months is way to long to have your first kiss (on or not on the lips). You have to find a good balance and get a felling on how fast/slow the person your dating wants to take the relationship. It depends on how comfortable the person your going out with is (pretty much similar to what Leggy and Sunflower said.) You don't want to progress to fast in the relationship that you end up losing the spark you had when you first dated (fire starts quick and can also be put out quick); however I would say 5 months is way to long to have your first kiss (on or not on the lips). You have to find a good balance and get a felling on how fast/slow the person your dating wants to take the relationship. |
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10-14-12 04:52 PM
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Oldschool41 : Five months WAS very, VERY hard. However, I'd much rather wait five months, than have someone trying to push me into bed after a week! That's why I said a month is really a good amount of time in my opinion (for receiving a first kiss). I understand that you guys want to talk about comfort levels, but I still think it's too soon to be making out on the first day even if both are comfortable doing it. In my opinion, if two people are ready to make out after a first date, there's something about each other and themselves that they simply don't value. That's why I said a month is really a good amount of time in my opinion (for receiving a first kiss). I understand that you guys want to talk about comfort levels, but I still think it's too soon to be making out on the first day even if both are comfortable doing it. In my opinion, if two people are ready to make out after a first date, there's something about each other and themselves that they simply don't value. |
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(edited by Singelli on 10-14-12 04:53 PM)
10-14-12 05:04 PM
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Singelli : hmm well if they are making out on the first date, then I would say they are not really dating and are more likely having a fling/about sex. I guess I'm okay if they want to make out after a first date (as long as they are just making out, not having sex), who am I to say that they shouldn't be making out after a first date (unless I'm the father, mother, older brother, brother, or younger brother). And like I posted before if they go to fast then they run the risk of not keeping the relationship interesting/burning; that would be the only risk I can see if they start out too fast. Singelli : hmm well if they are making out on the first date, then I would say they are not really dating and are more likely having a fling/about sex. I guess I'm okay if they want to make out after a first date (as long as they are just making out, not having sex), who am I to say that they shouldn't be making out after a first date (unless I'm the father, mother, older brother, brother, or younger brother). And like I posted before if they go to fast then they run the risk of not keeping the relationship interesting/burning; that would be the only risk I can see if they start out too fast. |
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10-14-12 05:21 PM
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I feel the pace of progression depends on the couple in question. You should move at the pace that feels right for both of you. Never rush anything... and make sure you're really ready for each step... even a first kiss should wait until you're really ready. If you jump the gun, it won't mean as much. But at the same time, you can't put an actual set-in-stone time limit on such a thing. There's no catch-all solution. The amount of time will vary depending on the couple and how fast their feelings for one another naturally develop/progress. |
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10-15-12 08:31 PM
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Relationships don't require any kind of timestamp or date that they need to progress. People are at different places in their lives and if they're comfortable with physical expressions of affectionl, that's fine. For example, a 12 year old girl might not want to kiss on the first or fifth date. A 30 year old woman who has been in relationships and is comfortable with herself and the guy she's with may want to go have some fun and do more than kiss. I believe sex is fun. It's a great way to show you care about someone if you do. If not, it's a good way to release physical energy and enjoy another person. I think months before a single little kiss is ridiculous unless the kids are 11 or 12. So what? Kiss her! Kiss him! Have fun. Why wait around for a year before you even start experimenting. It's not a big deal. Sex is a different story but it follows the same lines. If you're comfortable and happy, have fun. Relationships don't require any kind of timestamp or date that they need to progress. People are at different places in their lives and if they're comfortable with physical expressions of affectionl, that's fine. For example, a 12 year old girl might not want to kiss on the first or fifth date. A 30 year old woman who has been in relationships and is comfortable with herself and the guy she's with may want to go have some fun and do more than kiss. I believe sex is fun. It's a great way to show you care about someone if you do. If not, it's a good way to release physical energy and enjoy another person. I think months before a single little kiss is ridiculous unless the kids are 11 or 12. So what? Kiss her! Kiss him! Have fun. Why wait around for a year before you even start experimenting. It's not a big deal. Sex is a different story but it follows the same lines. If you're comfortable and happy, have fun. |
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10-16-12 03:46 AM
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Both of my relationships progressed at a decent rate, but I'd have to say that my second one progressed the most the quickest. And I can't say that I'm exactly happy with that. With my ex, things seemed to mean so much more. Sure, there were kisses and "I love yous" and it was something that I treasured oh so much. And it was eight months before we did anything serious, serious. Which could be classified as sexual, but for me and him, it wasn't. It was comfortable, sweet, and just... free. There was no sexuality to the situation at all; it was just a matter of comfort and freedom. And it occurred specifically on my birthday in a very sweet "I'm not going to betray you" fashion. And we hugged and cuddled and just enjoyed the beauty of it.
With my current boyfriend, sex is no big thing. Actually, it occurs so often that I really don't want it... :/ There's little that seems worth treasuring. And it really, really sucks. With my current boyfriend, sex is no big thing. Actually, it occurs so often that I really don't want it... :/ There's little that seems worth treasuring. And it really, really sucks. |
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10-16-12 04:56 PM
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Eh...in my opinion it just really depends on the people. Some just naturally progress faster than others (which could bite them in the ass later possibly) As for me personally...I just take it at a casual pace. Let the relationship decide the pace instead of me (though I will not be sleeping with someone right off the bat...that is a no-no). Also, for me, I usually begin to refer to the girl I am with as "my girl" rather than "my girlfriend" around the 3rd-4th month..just me Moral of the story: Stuff happens...if people want to be el stupidos and jump into a relationship eyes closed, head first, and in the shallow end that is their prerogative. Just as long as it doesn't affect me, I couldn't care less As for me personally...I just take it at a casual pace. Let the relationship decide the pace instead of me (though I will not be sleeping with someone right off the bat...that is a no-no). Also, for me, I usually begin to refer to the girl I am with as "my girl" rather than "my girlfriend" around the 3rd-4th month..just me Moral of the story: Stuff happens...if people want to be el stupidos and jump into a relationship eyes closed, head first, and in the shallow end that is their prerogative. Just as long as it doesn't affect me, I couldn't care less |
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10-16-12 07:42 PM
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Everybody is just giving me kind of 'oh whenever' answers! LOL That's not very useful or helpful I guess, so maybe I should re-consider my question. What is YOUR personal preference for the speed that a relationship should progress? Not what you think it is for other people or what it should be for other people. What it is for YOU. What is YOUR personal preference for the speed that a relationship should progress? Not what you think it is for other people or what it should be for other people. What it is for YOU. |
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10-18-12 05:17 PM
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It always depends on the people involved and the circumstances. Personally, I like having relationships go slower and at a more casual speed so that there is a strong connection and strong trust in the other person or to find out if there is any connection so the relationship doesn't rely solely on sex. |
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10-18-12 05:29 PM
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I personally think people should be friends before they think of dating, but yeah that is a personal thing. I'm not really opposed to people just asking people they don't know out, because it can turn out really good, but at the same time, most of what I've seen from relationships that start this way end just as fast. I've been best friends with my girlfriend 3 years before I even thought of dating her, now we've been dating for 14 months (and 4 days!) and it has been awesome. Ktanaqui : I hope I'm not being too intrusive when I ask, does all the sex make you feel kinda like a piece of meat for your boyfriend to play with? If he really loves/cares for you, he should be open enough to accept that you're having too much sex and that you guys might slow down or stop. If he gets mad at you for even thinking of less sex, then maybe reconsider the relationship. Ktanaqui : I hope I'm not being too intrusive when I ask, does all the sex make you feel kinda like a piece of meat for your boyfriend to play with? If he really loves/cares for you, he should be open enough to accept that you're having too much sex and that you guys might slow down or stop. If he gets mad at you for even thinking of less sex, then maybe reconsider the relationship. |
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10-18-12 05:30 PM
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I've been in a relationship and we both thought it went way to fast in the first month. So we broke up and not really knowing it was a little 'break' between us and was to build a solid Friendship before committing ourselves into a relationship. We got back together after 2 months, and we are still together to this day! But it's very much so to the people who are in the relationship some people don't think kisses are really that special and others do, so to each their own on this one?
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10-18-12 07:36 PM
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Singelli : I’m not sure if I answered this one before or not but as someone who’s made the mistake of jumping into relationships too quickly, without really thinking things through I can say that I feel a relationship should progress slowly. The people in the relationship should give each other adequate time to really get to know the person before jumping in too quickly. This is something that I made mistakes with in the past. My last real ex in particular was someone I really should have avoided but I couldn’t see that at the time. Hard lessons but lessons learned, don’t plan on making the same mistakes again.
When and if I do get into another relationship I plan on taking things slow and really getting to know the other person before I commit too quickly. Hopefully time and wisdom have wised me up in regard to that area of life. Least I hope so. When and if I do get into another relationship I plan on taking things slow and really getting to know the other person before I commit too quickly. Hopefully time and wisdom have wised me up in regard to that area of life. Least I hope so. |
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04-23-13 10:46 PM
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I've experienced both. It just depends on the two people and the chemistry |
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They should go at a comfortable pace to where both partners can feel relaxed about it. A relationship that moves and rushes to quickly, the partners don't learn anything about each other, and they jump into a relationship that becomes awkward and not interesting. On the other hand, a slow pace relationship may be boring and, nothing seems to spark or progress between them, also making it very dull. So somewhere in the middle where it is still fun and spicy enough to keep the relationship moving, that is the right pace. Exact time I am not sure, some groups of people are different, and the time it takes to get things moving to a climax is different for all partners in a relationship. |
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04-24-13 12:39 AM
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I don't believe in rushing in to a relationship, you should take the time to get to know the person before taking a next step. Far to many relationships that could have been great end so soon, because people rush things. There is nothing wrong with spending time together, and seeing if it will lead somewhere before doing anything else. |
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04-24-13 04:00 PM
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POSTS: 1698/2358
POST EXP: 173853
LVL EXP: 7353306
CP: 21758.9
VIZ: 212753
POSTS: 1698/2358
POST EXP: 173853
LVL EXP: 7353306
CP: 21758.9
VIZ: 212753
Likes: 0 Dislikes: 0
You should never rush into anything. It should be slow and steady, it always wins the race. It should be slow and steady, it always wins the race. |
Vizzed Elite
Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'
Registered: 12-31-12
Location: Central Scotland
Last Post: 2924 days
Last Active: 1371 days
Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'
Registered: 12-31-12
Location: Central Scotland
Last Post: 2924 days
Last Active: 1371 days
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