Mobouis1 :  I was actually never allowed to leave the house either. It's part of the reason I could never fit it.  Even if me or my siblings wanted to play in the back yard, we had to get permission first.  Our parents always had to know where we were and what we were doing.

Although I'd probably be a little lighter in the way I raise my own children, I don't fault my parents at all and I applaud them for the work they did for us kids.

Singelli : I do that they really care about us, but can they let us hangout with our friends once and a while. Also I forgot to mention that the city I live in is a really bad one. 

Mobouis1 :  See, we lived in a really SAFE neighborhood, so that had nothing to do with it.  I do believe though, that my parents still raised us that way because they loved us and wanted to see us safe.  They might have been a little over-protective, but I'd rather have over-protective parents, than parents who didn't even care where I was at.

Mobouis1 : Actually I wasn't even allowed human interaction until I was 14. And the only time I was allowed out of the house was playing in the backyard. I wasn't allowed to play with anyone but my older siblings. my Dad was a very abusive person. Well heck, he still is. But I don't have to deal with that now. Long story short, he didn't even allow my Mother to get things we needed. It was all about him and no one else. We were his slaves, not his children. And he only wanted to have kids so he could keep my Mother pregnant so he could go out and cheat on her. So we were always without a car and if he wasn't home, that when we had to sneak out and walk to get food or clothing we needed. Mom had to hide money to do that too, otherwise he'd steal it. So I didn't have it east either. When I was 14 and my Mom finally divorced after 19 years of her dealing with him abusing her and us kids, she left and never looked back. She then made up for all the years he practically held us prisoner. That was the only time I was finally able to have human interacting with people besides the immediate family. 

Singelli : If I was able to have kids, which unfortunately I can't bare children, I would discipline them in a loving manner. I don't like spanking only because of the fact that us kids were hit a lot by my Dad. So hitting is a huge NO-NO for me. But I would find other constructive ways to discipline them. Thankfully I get to watch my niece, well help watch my niece. Mom and sis do the hard work, I just spend quality time with her. And my brother and his wife are expecting their 2nd child in November. My niece's soon to be little brother. We're very excited. Sorry didn't mean to get so off topic I just wanted to reply to your post.

SunflowerGaming : I'm a very big fan of spanking and I think that's part of the problem with today's parenting.  (I'm not accusing you of what I'm about to state!)

 I think too many parents nowadays are concerned with being the friends of their children.  They'd rather go to the movies and play games then discipline their children and have their children mad at them for an hour.

However, based off your situation, I can FULLY understand why you'd have that view on spanking.

I agree.  It seems over the top to view it as child abuse.  There's a difference between me disciplining my child and downright beating the pulp out of them.  Even the bible says to spare not the rod.

Singelli : Totally agree with you on the spanking part. If they are being really rude, and if they deserved to be spank. Then you should do it and make them get over it.

Singelli : Oh I know, I'm not offended or anything. Haha. I know I won't ever be in the situation of having to discipline a child since I am unable to bare children and I doubt I'd be able to adopt. A single disabled woman, very unlikely. But I do think discipline is needed. Even if parents decide not to spank their kids, there are many forms of discipline that you can find and actually some do work.

Oldschool41 : I agree. There is a HUGE difference between spanking, and child abuse. My Mom spanked us, it was rare for me to get spanked but she did it only when it was absolutely necessary. I don't judge others for using spankings on their children, not at all! If that works for them and they feel comfortable doing that, then great. As long as they are taking an active interest in their kids. Now I know what child abuse is, it's not spanking and judging someone for a spanking, that's a little extreme. Even these new laws saying if you spank your kid and you're caught you get into trouble with the law. That needs to be for people like my Dad who literally beat their kids or mentally abuse them. There is a big different between the two.

SunflowerGaming : I also agree with you on the success and availability of other punishments.  I think that parents SHOULD diversify their ways of discipline.  Also, there are just some types of punishments that work better in certain situations, or with some kids.

Maybe that's part of what's wrong? Maybe the younger parents (around our age), don't know how to distinguish how or when to punish?

SunflowerGaming : Don't say that I'm sure that they will let you adopt a child someday


Mobouis1
Singelli

I remember reading a story where a high school girl was spanked by a Vice Principle (who is a male btw) beause she was suspended from school because of something involving cheating. According to the story she gave her permission plus the mothers permission for a paddling; her behind was pretty bruised and under Texas Law (which this took place) its okay for paddling as a punishment in schools. Situations like this give spanking/paddling a bad name (nevermind that controversy around this story).

Singelli : Maybe, sometimes people from our generation had kids at such a young age that they don't really know what they're doing. This is just speculation on my part. I don't have any kind of experience on this matter to actually know. It's a wild guess on my part.

Oldschool41 : I know it's not completely impossible, but it is very highly unlikely. I'm not married nor have I ever been and my health would prevent me from being the kind of Mother I want to be.

Oldschool41 :  I agree with you oldschool.  Spanking doesn't have to leave bruises or marks in order to be effective.  In fact, I don't remember my parents ever leaving a mark on me when they got me, and they spanked me pretty darn hard!
My dad could get pretty upset and I could tell sometimes he was really keeping check on his anger.  But he never left a mark on us.