Granted, but paradoxically there's no paradox for your paradoxical wish


I wish that newbies took some time to read the board rules

Granted but they don't follow them.

I wish my wish was a paradigm. (I'm not sure waht that means but it sounds fancy.

granted but i do not know what that is

i wish for a sparkly unicorn thats name is bob

Granted, but the fanciness actually turns out to mean something horrible and now everybody hates you and your twinkies.

I wish I had a job as a video game tester so that I could buy an Alienware Area-51 ALX Desktop and all the games I want.

Granted but you get a virus and can't get another computer.

I wish I was an ant.

Granted. And now you are an smashed ant (by my finger)

I wish I was a giant

Wish granted, but as your heart cannot take the strain of suddenly being large all can do is sit and watch everything else.

I wish I had some tasty bacon.

Granted, but it isn't pork bacon. It's human bacon. Wow, that's gross, man...

I wish for a shrubbery!

Granted but you have to stay with the Knights Who Say Ninh all day... OBVIOUS MONTY PYTHON PUN!

I wish I had a real Gameboy Color with alot of working games that were awesoem that never ever messed up or the system itself. (I'm making this as hard as possible!)

Granted, but you soon find out that you're banned from playing all video games, and that had become a law, which would make you break it as soon as you played, which would make you go into jail. And render you completely and utterly banned form any socialness. You try to hack your way out, but get busted along the way, and then get sent to the worst prison in the whole world. You begin to complain all the time, and eventually the prison guards go spastic and send you to the Nintendo factory. Your urge to play on the gameboy color has grown, so much that, well you almost go crazy over it. Well guess what? They send you there, lock you in a 30cm thick cube made out of glass (Supplied with water, food and oxygen of course). And they specifically make the glass very clear and see-through. And guess what? They put the cube right next to the gameboy color testing room. And you are left there, trapped, and wailing helplessly whilst you watch them play your favourite console.
(No hard feelings)
I should become a storyteller, shouldn't I? I've got my whole separate thing going on there.
And did you think that I forgot about my wish? Well I still remember it! I wish that the next person to post here would read my Awesomesause story above. Yeah, that's the longest post ever on this thread. I broke world records here. The end.

Granted, but that person (MEH) bans you for making a spammy post

I wish I was an invincible Goomba.

Granted, but then all the invincible koopas make fun of you.

I wish I was DarkHyren =3

Granted, and then there are 2 and you cease to exist because you cancel each other out.

I wish I could get a good nights sleep.

Granted but after that you can never sleep again.

I wish I was Santa Claus.

Granted, but you're so fat that none of the pretty women walking around can sit on your lap because of your belly.

I wish I had a phone that didn't lose signal every two seconds.

Granted, this brand new phone will never lose signal. Unfortunately it doesn't came with a dial key


I wish I lived in Silent Hill

Granted, but you live in the part of Silent Hill were you're most likely to be killed.

I wish I was hack0r.

Wish granted, but you will live in the Federal Hacker Jail.

I wish I could have an N64!

Granted but it breaks right before you beat Ocarina of Time.

I wish I was as popular as Justin Bieber.

Granted, but then you realize how much you hate whiney little 8 year olds shouting your name every two seconds.

I wish I was the fastest person EVAR