There might be repeats cause I'm seiriously running out of material.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out

Some people like to eat frogs’ legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

Chuck Norris can’t finish a “color by numbers” because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won’t be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.

seventy to eighty percent of those were repeats. you can do better

Chuck Norris is so bad he doesn't go to hell.
Hell goes to chuck.

If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 Dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops between the eyes.

Chuck Norris doesn't live on earth, the earth lives on Chuck Norris.

When they removed cocaine from Coca-Cola, it was replaced with Chuck Norris sweat. This is why today it's still so addictive.

Chuck can tow a full loaded truck with his eyebrows without dropping one single tear....

The US army often calls in on Chucks power nipples if their C-130s military plane drop high-tech cargo delivery system fails to function...

Scientists have discovered that the changing ocean-tide is not the result of the changing positions of the Moon and Sun relative to the Earth, but the direct effect of the daily "earth-tow" fitness training of Chuck Norris.

I am REALLY running out of material. This is pushing it.

The cyclops one was the best. TRY NOT TO RUN OUT

Fine.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

For every person Mother Nature kills, Chuck Norris kills five.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the NFBSKNFBSKNFBSKNFBSK Chuck Norris is.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

When Chuck Norris breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better do what Chuck Norris says.

EDIT: Even though I rarely edit, this just HAD to be added:

It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.

In conclusion, Chuck Norris can't act.

Wrong move there, bucko. Watch out, he's now hunting you.
NEVER DISS CHUCK NORRIS. EVAR.

LOL he is too old to do anything about it. Plus he is a texas ranger so I'm way out of his jurisdiction. He can go pet the steers that are around him.

HE IS AWESOME. ONCE AGAIN, NEVAR DISS CHUCK NORRIS! So what if he's old? He has epic MA skills. And he's a Texas Ranger which makes him that much awesomer.

Jet Li and Jackie Chan are better

Jackie Chan may kick major ass, but Chuck Norris is still above him.
Jet Li just sucks...

Jet Li wishes he was like Jackie Chan. Him and God wish they were like Chuck Norris

chuck norris walked in to a bar, the bar died
chuck norris plays games with him self he all ways wins

[blockquote]chuck norris walked in to a bar, the bar died[/blockquote]

That's brilliant.

Bhwahaha, wow that was a nice quote xD

Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."

MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

What now!

btw... If Chuck Norris is the end of everything...
Does that make him the end of my Ass?

Chuck Norris pwns the gods of time. God that game sucks....
I know Chuck Norris could make a better game than that.

Chuck Norris once made a joke about himself. Mankind has attempted to create it again ever since.

Thats right, I put up all those jokes. Now you guys work for me! Muwhaahahah!
Also, funny how Shred's God of Time link leads to a refferal page. Way to want stuff.