Ouch, sounds like a little spark is going to fly. *backs up for the sparking*

Learn to read there, buddy. Read the top of my previous post before going ballistic.
ON TO THE LAST BATCH BEFORE I HAVE TO IMPROVISE!

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

What was going through the minds of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

The adjective "perfect" originated when Chuck Norris gave his penis a nickname.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Aside from the first one being a repeat, those were great!
Probably the best ones you've posted yet.

Want to try something funny? Go to google.com, type in "Find Chuck Norris" and click I'm feeling lucky. Then read the hilarious message.

Lol, that was good .

+1 Zing!

That was an awesome little thing you found there justin. Wow, I never even thought of clicking that feeling lucky button, I never used it before.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is the coolest thing ever

Wow thats quite epic. TIME FOR A NEW SET!

Chuck Norris invented the tooth fairy, as a way to compensate for round house kicking everybody to the face.

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one of you at my right hand. You must prove to me whom of you it shall be." Mr. T steps and says "I pity the fool who doesn't let me sit at His right hand." God tells him that he was not good enough and sends Mr. T to hell. Arnold steps up and says "I was in predator, commando, the terminator. You must choose the governator." God tells him not good enough and sends Arnold to hell. God turns to Chuck Norris and say "Why should you sit beside me?" Chuck quickly proceeds to roundhouse kick God in the face and say "b****, your in my seat."

Chuck Norris has had thousands of lovers, but none of them ever satisfied Chuck Norris. He realized that the only person who could ever satisfy Chuck Norris...was Chuck Norris.

Everytime chuck norris has sex he has to fix the hole in the wall the next morning.

Chuck norris has never kicked anyone's ass, but the mear sight of him makes you kick your own ass.

Not as much cause the middle one is so long and epic.

best set ever... Those were the best ones you've come up with to date, A+

I REALLY don't think this topic's going to end ;;;; Anyway...

Chuck Norris invented air so he could cut it in half with his fists of flaming ferocious fury please someone come up with another word beginning with F so this alliteration can go even longer.

OH ITS GUNNA CONTINUE TILL HELL FREEZES OVER.

The continents didn't drift away from each other, they just found out that Chuck Norris was gunna be on America so they all ran away.

Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.

Daddy didn't take her T-bird away... Chuck Norris did.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris's dog picks up its own s*** because Chuck Norris doesn't take s*** from anybody.

Chuck Norris doesn't THROW UP after a long night of partying...He THROWS DOWN!!!

Originally Chuck Norris was to play Frodo in Lord of the Rings but turned the job down cause only a pansy needs 3 movies to destroy jewelry. Also Chuck Norris was originally cast to play the lead role on the show 24. The producers had to fire him after he killed all of the terrorists in 10 seconds.

Do you know how giraffes were born? Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a horse in the neck!

Thanks to Chuck Norris, I cant see the new posts

Nice ones Neyro, although that dog one was a repeat. You're finding more original ones.

Yash, Neyro is finding better jokes now.

FINDING THEM?! Psh! This is REAL copied stuff here! I make it up! Also, heres more!

Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

AND FINALLY, EPICNESS:

Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Nice. Those were great. Keep up the good work. None of those were even OK. All as close to perfect as possible without reaching Chuck Norris's level.

Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris doesn't step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters, if by 'knit' you mean kick and by 'sweaters' you mean babies

Someone once challenged Chuck Norris to a duel... that person is now known as Captain Hook.

The Boogyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris every night.

Chuck Norris once took a very big dump...that dump is known as Mt. Everest (also, the leak he took with it is known as the Pacific Ocean).

The Bible used to be called Chuck Norris and Friends.

According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you in the face...YESTERDAY!!

Chuck Norris' beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals.

I'm done for today...

One repeat with other ones of absolute epicness. You didn't fail.

Oh God, the babies one was just too priceless.

The one about Einstein's theory was my favorite, closely followed by the vehicle stepping away one