I'm just saying, as many people you educate and tell not to spread rumors, there's always a jackass making fun of people on Facebook. Then the victim and perhaps his friends get mad and retaliate. While it'd be nice to live in a world where people didn't start rumors, I don't think that's possible at the moment.

I understand that, but if you're the better person, you won't retaliate. I mean, why stoop to that person's level? And in the end, the truth will come out and they will be the ones too look like a fool.

SunflowerGaming :

To be honest the only reason I allowed her to reconnect with me was because I’m in media and I have to be accessible as I am in a way a public figure being a journalist. If I had been someone who had nothing to do with media and was just someone who worked a regular job and didn’t have to worry about being accessible and professional at all times, it would be very different.


I can’t forgive her for what happened and what she spread because as I said it’s what she’s spread that has prevented me from anything meaningful in terms of a relationship in the years since. She did apologize which I will give her that much but the sad fact is, is that you can’t do anything about it almost 13 years later. The damage is done you can’t change things after so much time has passed and you definitely can’t change things by saying I’m sorry about what I did to you. It may sound a bit bitter on my part but I’m sure you can see my point of view. In the years since I have focused strictly on my work and have really become reclusive in large part to what happened. In addition to the nonsense she spread she also did quite a bit of lying so all the above has made me have trust issues and such.


It’s not a good way to live but I feel like sometimes I have no choice. Although I try to be sociable and, professional and, try to help friends I do keep to myself for the most part and, I don’t really allow myself to have nights out or do things what others would consider fun. To me my work is fun.

bvd1022 : No I completely understand. I've had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life that has caused me to have major trust issues. I do my best to be social as well, but I am only social with people I know I can trust. Trust is an important thing in life and if someone loses your trust, it's very hard to get it back. At least, that's my opinion.

SunflowerGaming : My life hasn’t exactly been milk and honey either but the real hard period didn’t really start until I became a teenager. Things weren’t exactly easy at home and I started hanging out with the wrong people, this is where my ex entered my life and, I just wasn’t making the best choices.

I’m sure everyone goes through something like that at one time or another in their lives but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have my share of regrets from that period.
I’ve learned from what ever mistakes I have made but I wish I could have a redo in regard to certain things. In regard to her I believe years later that my mistake was getting involved with her to begin with. So if I had to do it over again that would be one thing that I would change.

bvd1022 : Yeah I understand. I've regretted being friends with certain people because of the hurt they caused me, but it also taught me how to know who I can trust and who I can't trust.

SunflowerGaming : Well I think of my struggles as a teen and the mistakes I made as part of my maturing process. I wish I didn’t have the struggles and the “Wish I could have done things differently” in regard to a lot of things from that stage in my life but at the same token, I believe that if it weren’t for those struggles and mistakes then I probably wouldn’t be the person that I am today. I probably wouldn’t have maintained my writing career that’s for sure.

The one thing that I did once I got away from the defermental things was I got into my writing very much and gradually I went from someone who was not polished to someone who became extremely detailed and in depth with his material. Most of my magazine work have been two page spreads consisting of 2,000 or more words per piece. My online work tends to follow that same type of criteria. So in that aspect it makes me feel a little better because I threw myself into my work and thus after many hours and many all-nighter’s I improved my craft.

It may not seem like such a big thing to some people but as I said I was told by many people including my ex that I wouldn’t amount to anything after I dropped out of school, despite the fact that I began writing when I was twelve and even though I did not do it as a full career until I left school; I was already working for magazines before I left. I am still very much paying my dues both literally and figuratively in regard to my work but I do have the satisfaction to an extent that I proved everyone who doubted me and put me down wrong. I am an extremely grounded person and although I do have scars that I deal with from time to time from that period of my life, I do not hold any malice toward anyone and more often than not choose to put any blame for anything back then on myself if that makes any sense.

I am a very humble person and value very much what I have done because I know that a lot of high school drop outs have odds stacked against them as I did and in some ways still do. I consider myself very fortunate that I was able to accomplish what I have and that’s why I like websites like this because in addition to reliving me youth in regard to the games I get to give advice to kids who may be going through similar circumstances that I did. I definitely don’t recommend that they do what I did because if I had a “Do over” I would certainly approach things differently.

bvd1022 : Yeah I can understand that. I know the things I went through growing up made me the person I am today. Yeah I make mistakes at times, but who doesn't? The thing with giving advice to kids, sometimes, and only sometimes, they don't listen and end up having to learn through mistakes anyway. But it is nice to have some wisdom to pass on to them.

SunflowerGaming : I won’t lie to you when I say that as we sit I am about a month away from my 28th birthday but because of what I’ve been through in life I feel much older than I actually am. I heard an old saying a long time ago and I believe it, that it is not the number of age that makes you old, it is what happens to you in the time that does it to you.
I know sometimes kids don’t listen and even some adults who don’t seem to want to grow up and mature don’t want to listen either. Believe me I have been through scenarios in regard to both kids and people who just don’t get it and won’t grow up in regard to advice I try to give and help I try to give to people.

It isn’t a good feeling to know that in regard to some no matter what you may say or, do they will not listen and will pretty much go as they please and will eventually hit a brick wall and there is nothing that you can do about it. I do feel though that for every one person who does not listen there are probably ten or twenty that will appreciate the advice and put it to good use. It is that which keeps me from turning myself off and not being the person that I am who always wants to help people.


I know that I probably seem like I’m too sentimental but that’s how I feel. Like I said if I had a “Do over” but could keep my mind as it is now I would definitely be wiser about things. I just hope that by the time I’m 40 I will be settled down in some fashion and I can focus on being happy both professionally and personally.

bvd1022 : Yeah, I'm only 30 and been told by many people I've lived the life of a 90 year old woman. But I've been in a lot of situations where I gave advice and they didn't listen and later came back and told me; "i should have listened to you." Well it's too late by then. I don't really like giving advice but I will if someone really wants it.