Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was on a murderous killing spree!
Knock Knock
Who's there?

CHICKEN!

A pregnant woman boards a bus. After taking a seat, she notices a man smiling at her. She feels self-conscious and changes her seat, but he seems even more amused.
She moves a third time, and he starts to giggle. On her fourth move, he bursts out laughing.
They both get off the bus at the next stop. The pregnant woman is furious and demands an explanation. "What exactly is so damn funny?"
"I'm sorry, ma'am," replies the giggling man. "But I couldn't help noticing you're pregnant, and when you first sat down, you sat under an advertisement which read Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.' Then you sat under an ad that read 'Sloan's Liniments Remove Swelling.' Then you moved under a deodorant advertisement which read 'William's Stick Did the Trick.' And I just couldn't hold it in any longer when you moved a fourth time and sat under a tire advertisement which read 'Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident.'"

ronaldo7 : when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him i told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

My teacher: Where is your homework?
Me:It committed suicide, had too many problems.

Have you been shopping lately, there selling lives at the mall you should get one.


These are some of my favorite jokes, but i have a whole list of them me and my friends had. even if they don't count i would love to post them.