Well i hope my joke will win.

There is 3 famous singers, they all goes on plane.
They found 3 things, its Apple, Orange, and TNT (Bomb)
They threw the apple out of window, Orange out of window as well, and TNT was lighted up and threw out.
When the play landed, they came out and seen a young boy crying.
They went to the boy and asked "What the matter?" and the boy answer back "The apple hit my head!"
The singers seem to be worry that they might threw the same apple out. Clearing it was same apple.
Then they see a young girl, who was also crying. Went to the girl and asked "What wrong?" then the girl answered "The orange hit my head! Now i all sticky!"
Singers were sighed, then walk to the busy street. They found a old woman laughing hard, they was so wondering so they went to the woman, asked her. The woman said "I farted so hard, i blew my house up!"
The singers told woman that it was no fart, it was TNT that some stranger threw out of plane and blew house up, the woman was like all freak out and called 911 to catch the plane!

Wow, must be long one lol

ronaldo7: I still haven't won this contest yet, huh.

Is there a time limit for this competition?

I heard this one yesterday: two friends who really like baseball make a deal: the first one to die has to find a way to come back from heaven and tell the other friend if there's baseball in heaven. A few decades go bye, and one of them dies. Some time later, the one that died shows up at the second person's place, and says that there is baseball in heaven. He goes on to say that he's looking forward to his friend's pitching next week...

YourMajestyKen : to answer your question i award the 500 vizz at ht eend of the week. So guys you have 2 days to post your jokes then I will award the vizz to the winner.

ronaldo7 : So a guy walks into a restraunt and says give me your best beverage. The waiter replies that he will give him a grasshopper. Later that day the waiter walks out of the bar and sees a grasshopper on the ground. He told the grasshopper that he has a drink named after him. The grasshopper replies,"Oh so you have a drink named Herman?"

If a tree falls in the forest... and it hits a mime... CAN I KEEP HIS BERET!?!

Sorry I took so long to post but the winner of the monthly joke contest for 500 vizz is YourMajestyKen for both his blonde and parrot jokes.Congarats!!!!!!

So all jokes as of today will be part of this months contest and I will award the winner 500 vizz in the end of the month.

How about this, Your moms so stupid she sat on the TV and watched the couch.

what kind of jokes?
a tree falls on a woman and no one is around to hear it. now the real question is: why was there a tree in the kitchen?

or this kind of joke?
yo momma's so fat and disgusting, she uses grease and bacon as a bandaid

Wow ermmmm, is it me or did that joke I post really suck? who would have thought Id use a yo mamma joke LOL.

A man was driving down a highway, and noticed a strange 3-legged chicken running alongside the vehicle; curious, he checked the speedometer and it said 80 MPH. He saw the chicken turn and run up to a farm, so he thought he'd go ask the owner about the chicken; he noticed several more on his way in. When he asked the man about the chickens, the man responded as follows:

Weeeelll... Me 'n Jesse 'n Ma all REEEAALLY like us some chick'n legs, so we thoughts to ourselves, whys don't we breed some 3 legged chick'ns?

To which the driver responded

Well, how do they taste?

Farmer: Don' rightly know... None 'a us could catch one.

You guys obviously don't read the posts in the threads...


I have already won this contest, there's no need to post here.

YourMajestyKen : Hey I just wanted to tell you that the contest is every month so they do have a chance to win. You were last months winner.

So do please keep posting your jokes.

A vulture goes onto a plane with two dead possums.
The flight attendant stops him and says,
"I'm sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

what do you call a guy that wants to roller skate but doesn't want to pay the cash to do it



A CHEAPSKATE!!!

Here's a funny joke...

A man named George was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

YourMajestyKen : I don't know how you do it but you manage to come up with the funniest and most unique jokes on this thread. You are February's winner and I have got to say that you really make me laugh.

Ok so as of today is the start of this months contest so just because YourMajestyKen won last months contest does not mean anyone else can't win. So keep on posting and I will award the next winner in March when it ends.

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!"
The other asks, "But how will we remember where this spot is?"
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, "We'll just look for this X tomorrow."
The other guy says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat?"

There are 3 trainers waiting for their first pokemon to go on their adventure. The waiter walks in, with three dishes. the first trainer says "we need our pokemon, not food." The waiter says, "we're a resturant, not a pokemon lab."

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dan.

Dan who?

Dan proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.