Hey yea i posted a small story chapter here on Vizzed. I decided i liked a newer chapter i wrote better. So this is a dual thread asking both for a mod or admin to delete the old thread, titled David's Pokemon Journey. And also, here is this small teaser chapter i wrote. It's only the third one so you won't be completely behind in what has happened so far.

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April 5, 2010

I moodily got out of bed and checked my surroundings. Realizing I was in my room, I was careful not to trip over Poliwag and Charmander as I left to do my normal routine. Coming in later, I woke up both of them to some breakfast. We had an early start today, I wanted to go do some training in the woods. It was a bit sad how easily that Magnemite beat Poliwag. Quickly eating my own food, I rushed them both in an effort to make it to a good spot. I headed west of my apartment, back towards the woods near Pallet. Poliwag and Charmander were lazily following me, so I kept the pace slow for their sake. Reaching the forest, we found a nice clearing and got to training. I knew the surrounding Pokémon in this part of the forest was mostly Pidgey and Rattata, the occasional Caterpie. This would be a great start for my Pokémon. I decided to train with Charmander first to introduce Poliwag to some strategies and such. Looking around and seeing no Pokémon, I threw a few rocks into some trees. Rocks seemed to always work when annoying Pokémon, as a few Pidgey flew out. Singling out one of them, I had Charmander start off with an Ember to bring it to ground level. It clipped Pidgey’s tail, but it was enough to get it mad, and attack. Telling Charmander to dodge, I then ordered a quick Scratch. Charmander waited until the Pidgey was almost at him before it jumped and struck it straight down into the ground. This seemed to almost knock out Pidgey, so I had it use Tail Whip, and the flaming tail struck Pidgey across the face. This sent it sprawling, clearly unconscious. On a whim I threw a Poke Ball at it, deciding an easy $50 would be useful. It rolled around a bit, but it was obviously caught. A faint ping later and I picked up the Poke Ball. Looking at Poliwag, I made sure it understood the strategy used, and decided to test it out. After a few minutes of searching behind bushes and around trees I found a sleeping Rattata on a rock. Sending out Poliwag, I told it to start off with a Bubble. The first one hit sent Rattata moving back slightly, but the rush of others alerted it to an enemy. It proceeded to dodge a majority of the bubbles, only a few hitting it. It lunged at Poliwag, so I told Poliwag to use Tail Whip to smack it to the side. It worked, and Rattata went skidding to the left, but Poliwag suffered some recoil since Rattata is most likely stronger having rested so much. I told Poliwag to use Bubble slightly to the left and follow up with another one slightly to the right. This served to catch Rattata in a minor trap, allowing about half of the ones on the right side to hit it. It ran up again and started to lunge when I realized it was much slower than before. The Bubble attack must have slowed it down a bit. Seeing this I told Poliwag to use Hypnosis to stop it in its tracks. It worked, and Rattata slowed to a halt and stayed there, sleeping. Sensing the victory, I told Poliwag to run up quickly and use Tail Whip. On its own however, it decided to jump before the attack to add a little extra force. This served to knock out the Rattata. Happy, I called Poliwag back, and it was obvious that it was proud. Since it gained some confidence, I decided a stronger foe like a Pidgey or Weedle would be best to test how strong Poliwag was. Just before I went to look, my stomach reminded me a long time had passed since breakfast so I went back to town, intent on going to my usual diner. The one thing I like best is that they were relatively cheap, which was essential since I had no stable income. Ordering some food, I started telling Poliwag and Charmander how proud I was that they were progressing nicely. After eating, we left to go back to the apartment. I had decided I wouldn’t spend my last night sleeping in Viridian. I wanted to get used to camping, so I would leave the city a little but after lunch. After going through my apartment, making sure I had a decent amount of cash on me, I headed to the Poke Mart. I needed to make sure I was stocked on everything I’d need from Potions to Antidotes. After choosing some Poke Balls, I realized that I had won enough money from those 2 punks a few days ago to afford a Great Ball. I decided to save it for a rare or strong Pokémon. Making a quick stop at the Pokémon Center to be healed, we took a small rest in the park before heading north out of town, towards Pewter. I knew I’d have to go through Viridian Forest, as the path around it took about 4 days to travel. The Forest took about 2 days so it was a clear choice. After entering the forest, I remembered that most of the Pokémon here were Bug Types. This would be excellent training for both Charmander and my new Pidgey. Taking both of them out, I decided that by making them combine their Gust and Ember attacks, it would guarantee the KO on any Bug Types. After telling them the plan , we started trekking through the forest, with me occasionally pointing out a few Weedle or Caterpie. I saw a Metapod once, so I made sure they knocked it out before tossing a Poke Ball at it. While it wouldn’t be useful on my team, I still had that deal running. Seeing it was getting dark, I told Charmander and Pidgey to relax and come to the small clearing I had made. Arranging the rocks took a few minutes but it provided me with a campfire space, which I had Charmander light quickly after gathering some wood. Telling Poliwag to be on alert with a Bubble if the fire got out of hand, I took out some food and starting cooking. While it was being roasted, I started talking to my Pokémon, trying to see how well Pidgey fit in. It seemed alright, though Pidgey is a bit mischievous seeing how it took Poliwag’s food and hovered above it making it jump for it before it dropped it onto Poliwag. Deciding to turn in early for the night, I recalled everyone. I wanted to get a good start on the rest of the trek through the forest tomorrow. Hopefully I would find a decent Pokémon to catch. If not, then the experience I’d be sure to get would also be helpful. I found it odd I hadn’t seen any trainers but it dawned on me they would stick closer to Pewter, for stronger wild Pokémon to train on. It didn’t matter since I’d see them eventually. With that, I slowly fell asleep, listening to the soft chirping and rustles of the forest.


Read and Review? Criticism is welcome, especially any flames. Those flames mean i messed up and need to improve

Cool, I really like it. I couldn't find any mistakes at all in it. I really like the details and stuff. Nice job. Good luck with the rest!

Thanks a lot mega. if i get some good criticism and reviews then ill give people the link to the site im posting it on. however if not alot of people like it then ill just give the link to those who do. Still, it's nice to see that my work is appreciated.

Wow dude, that already is amazing. I must read more! I honestly can't find any flaws with it. The grammar is great, its very descriptive, and I could actually see the images in my head. You seem to have quite an extensive vocabulary as well, because your sentence structure seems very intellectual and well thought out.

All in all, very nicely done, and I hope to see not only more from this work, but more works of yours (if you so chooses to do more)

Thanks, i do like to think i have a broad vocabulary. And im a stickler for spelling and grammar so i run it through grammar and spellcheck like 4 times. And im going to finish this before i start anything else, just know that i WILL do a Johto continuation, along with a Hoenn and Sinnoh.