So I unsuccessfully made a suicide attempt and tried to stupidly post a thread about it here called “fix the day”

I ended up in the hospital psych ward from February 23 till yesterday when they released me to my husband.

i just wanted to say I’m sorry that I created such a stupid thread without really thinking about what I was doing.

hope everyone lives a good life.

sincerely,
camkunimura

I wanted to thank everyone for everything they have done for me on this website. I was never a good contributor to this website. I over thought my posts and other times didn’t think at all. This was one of the few places I put my thoughts into the world. And I thank all of you for at least reading them. Even when you didn’t reply to my threads I didn’t care. Just someplace to have a voice. I didn’t really know what I was doing here all these years.

The reason for this post is this will be my final journal which I hope to be editing or replying to over the last of my days. It will be my final Journal if you will let me. If you consider this a goodbye thread then please close it and know that this may be my last post if I follow through with my plan. Maybe I will break the rules and make new threads. Don’t know.

I have decided to enact VSED (Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking) upon myself.

I considered and tried suicide but that didn’t work. I’ve considered saving up money and traveling to Switzerland to legally ending my time but I’ve lost the ability to work so that won’t work either. Hawaii is one of the few states where you can legally ask for end of life services. But it only includes people who are terminally dying within 6 months left left to live. I’m living with Depression which is a slow dying process so I don’t qualify. VSED is the only way out now for me.

I’ve considered all things and the only thing I can’t account for is the reaction of those around me. The ones who care about me. The innocent bystanders like those on this website. It may seem like I’m being selfish. And maybe I am. But I've made the decision so far. There will come a point where there is no going back. Until that time comes… I don’t think I’ll change my mind before then.

If you feel this is for attention then I except your opinions of me and this thread. I’ve currently become nearly mute and not wanting to speak to anyone. I’m hoping that everyone will eventually grow sick of my actions and will walk away. I hope they hate me so that I can die alone like I’ve always thought I should. This is currently the only communication I’m having at the moment and I’m using this thread as a way to be able to speak. Maybe this will be unintentionally be a way to encourage others to live every day as their last.



Day 1
song
Fix The Day
Kang Hyun Min
https://youtu.be/j9zn2n4uq5Y
I feel ok. My Husband was initially angry because it’s true I betrayed him. I tried to commit suicide but of course I didn’t succeed. I’ve never been able to do it. This time it’s been a long time since the last time I tried. This time was trying to suffocate myself with a bag in a bathtub of nice warm water. To scary. Couldn’t do it. I wish it was easier. Quicker. Quieter. More peaceful. Alas I stumbled upon the term VSED, after cleaning up, and saw it was legal but it seems expensive and I didn’t think i would qualify. So I called someone and it is true. Someone as young as me in my 30s and only depression as the only reason for wanting it. It would be very difficult. It will be difficult as I get to the point of no return without medical intervention like VSED. But I think the only way to keep the money burden low will be to slowly waste away till the point people will have to medically intervene. I will enact VSED legally at that time. If I really wanted to be no burden I would have run away with only a tent and then slowly wasted away alone where no one would be able to find me. But Husband had me call Parents as a last ditch effort to help me. But I’ve given up already and it was already too late. It was a mistake to have met him. I knew about my slow death and still had hope at that time about life. I regret falling in love. I regret lying to everyone all these years. I wished I wasn’t born. That would have been the easiest solution. Not being born at all. I was not fine. What a waste of space, time, and effort of all those around me and me. I don’t know what I was thinking. Having the dream of majoring in music performance, anything you could think of, soloist, broadway pit orchestra, movie music, backup music for major artists, music therapy, etc. I was never good enough in this type of competitive field. Always someone better than you. I lost interest in it right after high school was over. A symptom of my depression… losing interest in everything… even the things and people you thought you loved…. I miss high school it was the one time in my life where I had a real purpose. I wish I could just be stuck there forever. It’s true I still was not happy during that time, still depressed, but i was literally living my dream at that time. First chair in the school orchestra and band program, had a private teacher, participated in state youth symphony program, etc. I could have lost interest and drive at any time during those years. But I didn’t and I still don’t know why after all these years. Never figured it out and no longer want to know. Knowing what I know now and seeing all my actions flash before me and reenact it’s self over and over and over again day after day. I’ve wondered if this was what PTSD was like. Felt like I was reliving nightmares again and again. Even in my dreams I couldn’t escape them. I’ve lived with night terrors throughout my life and they trigger anger outbursts throughout the night. Many I couldn’t remember but the ones I do remember… it’s like my mind is torturing itself while I sleep.
I’ve run out of things to say today. I feel ok for not eating or drinking for a day so far since yesterday when everything happened. Feel like I've been doing this since I was born. I’m surprised I didn’t think of this a long time ago. I’ve been dying slowly anyways.
Live every day like it’s your last. So cliche… coming from the guy trying to die.
See you tomorrow maybe.
Love sincerely, Cameron

Day 2
Song
這麼多年
Yisa Yu
https://youtu.be/8aSdx9acA8s
Feeling weaker. The thirst in my mouth is bare able. I read that this is standard due to the dehydration so I’ve been swishing my mouth with water and spitting it out. They say to mist the mouth with water or to swab the inside of the mouth with water soaked cotton. I’ll eventually do that once I can’t get out of bed. My parents finally went home last night. They say they will come back today… I wish they would just let me go so that they don’t have to see me go through with this. All their presence does is make me cry. Same for my husband. I’ve told him so many times to go to work to go away and that I hate all of them. Such feeble attempts to force them away during this process I know. Really stupid really but why should you care about someone who is throwing away their life towards death. It’s like when people abandon addicts. Same context different subject. I still have the strength to go down stairs from the 4th floor to go smoke. I’m hoping the smoking will dehydrate me faster. I will probably die from the dehydration faster than the starvation. My coworkers keep contacting me to tell me to live. All that results in is tears and hangups. They shouldn’t care about a random person they work with. Especially one who called out so much due to not being able to leave the house because of anxiety or depression. God this phone feels so heavy now. Wishing I got a smaller iPhone. I’m highly aware of my body now. My heart beat, breathing patterns, my body weakness, etc. As hardened as my mind and heart are these days I am afraid of the pain. I’m hoping to enact VSED for the medical intervention after the point of no return. That won’t take away all the pain I read but it will help. Hopefully I lose consciousness before then. I hope for a coma then i will be dreaming at least I hope. Maybe it will be my night terrors but eventually it will be all over anyways. The price for peace and freedom have always been heavy. Hopefully my hard work will pay off. I just got off the phone with a therapist and refused her treatment. I’m hoping that’s a nail in the coffin. I can’t play games a lot because the phone is heavy and I can’t concentrate to much. Lying down is uncomfortable. Though when I become tired enough I finally fall asleep. Even music is no longer as powerful as it was before. Sometimes the silence is deafening though. My husband sits quietly on my bedside. He doesn’t speak to me often anymore. He doesn’t touch me anymore because it hurts when people touch me now, tears, anger, and sorrow is all I feel. Also a deafening silence within myself is also present at times. I wish there was another way. But I’m afraid this is the only way. Ok this phone is getting heavy and I can’t concentrate anymore.
I wish you all the best in your lives. Sometimes you will never know the best time so just go for it.
See you tomorrow maybe.
Love Sincerely, camkunimura

How is it handled in your country or place of living?
Do you support it getting legalized where you live or eventual globalization?
Did you know someone, currently know someone, or for yourself, that could/can benefit from such procedures.
Do you only support it for terminally ill patients? Or do you support it for those with long term ailments or those who of sound mind have made the decision to do it?



I have done some research and have found that here in Hawaii it is now legal for those who are terminally ill with around 6 months to live. This news brought me only partial relief for I am only depressed with other problems. I can not be approved for this because my condition will not bring me certain death within 6 months.
I have a condition not dissimilar to Karen Carpenter. Her disease killed her slowly over time. And so does mine.

I found out with great relief and partial happiness that Switzerland offers assisted suicide to those of sound mind who want to die. They have deemed it a legal right to all (even those just visiting their country) to be able to end their lives peacefully.

Upon reading about this it brought me to a saddening realization that this is what I have been looking for for a long time. A place that would let me do this legally without me having to research (I have many times done research) the least painful way to die, what supplies would I need, the cleanest way possible, and without burden to those left behind. Though to be honest thats one of the few threads left holding me to this life. What a burden my death will bring upon those I leave behind.
The cost of the procedure, the travel, the food and drink, the consequences of my actions….

It was a flood of relief though. So much so I cried so hard. I still cry knowing that my way out is within reach. I cry harder though for the ones I will leave behind. I know and have thought of all the consequences of my actions, every possibility of how this will change everyone’s lives around me, even the possibility that some may try and commit suicide in the wake of my death. I don’t know a way around that and that sounds extremely selfish of me to say…. But i am of sound mind to know that this is what I want.

Just having knowledge of this place in Switzerland brings me some peace.
Tell me about other places that may also have legalized it for those not terminally ill and not residents of their law.
This will bring me more peace. More comfort. More hope.
i hope i can save enough money for this journey I want to take. I hope it doesn’t take to long. Nitrogen or potassium cyanide seem so easy to purchase. But the cleanup… I worry about the cleanup.

Trigger warning suicide



























someone tried to kill themselves by jumping from a building today and you know the people around me and me tried to laugh it off cause there’s no easy way around that subject.
But i couldn’t help thinking that could have been me. That still could be me. It’s so sad thinking that there is no way out of your life’s situations except by death. That could have been and could still have been me. I hope they get the help they need. I hope to keep pushing forward in life. I hope everyone finds a way through life. Whether you’re lost now, know what you’re doing, or see no end in sight. I hope we all figure things out. I wish everyone the best of luck. I wish upon the hundred million stars in the sky that we make it together. That we live our lives to the fullest in the best way we can in every moment. The people survived and that kind of shook me. That I could have attempted something thinking that it was the way out. But living anyway…..fate, gods, or whatever can decide that’s it’s not our time to go even though we think it is the escape we were going for. They jumped from the 27th floor and lived…. I wish there was an easy way out sometimes. But it’s never guaranteed.

TRIGGER WARNING!!! May contain things that can trigger episodes in those living with mental illness.



How do you deal with your mental illness?

For me sometimes I need to find ways to let it out.
Such as go to songs, visual media (movies, shows, scenes, etc.), etc.
https://youtu.be/j9zn2n4uq5Y This song was a go to song to help me release whatever was happening inside.
https://youtu.be/8aSdx9acA8s Another song from “Wuxin: The Monster Killer (TV Series 2015‑ )”
https://youtu.be/0gLqwtw6Xgk go to 5:28 This scene from Stairway to Heaven helped me as well.
I recently watched a Korean Drama called “The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (TV Series 2018‑2018)”
Songs and visual media have been my outlets for a long time.
Unfortunately smoking is a bad habit I picked up out of high school.
I thought also falling in love would heal my depression but unfortunately it didn’t. I’ve been in a supportive engagement since around 2011 but I haven’t been able to kick the depression. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me.

My methods may be too much for some people. Some may argue I’m triggering myself. But sometimes I feel so guilty, sad, tired, that I need to exhaust myself to tip the scales back in the other direction.

I am naturally drawn to sad things. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s helping me or enabling me.

I have had recent thoughts of starting to perform again either just for myself or for YouTube. I had a realization that as much as I liked performing anything back then, I am drawn to slow songs. Usually sad songs. Performing music used to help me release things within me.
I would be like “The Carpenters”
I would use a music transcriber as my “Richard Carpenter” and I would be “Karen Carpenter” so to speak on piano and flute. Though I always doubt myself so I haven’t done it yet in the years I have thought of this since high school.

I tried art as well in high school and other performing arts.

I know this board has been an outlet for some.

Enough about me. What about you?

I don’t know if this was purely coincidence but I’ll tell you about it.

My Dad’s best friend’s son died in a car accident some time ago. Dad’s best friend eventually past away from brain tumors sometime after. I had a dream one night a couple years ago. The dream was a nightmare of the beach and the ocean being angry and restless. I woke up in the middle of the night with a strong urge to call or check up on my Dad’s best friends Wife. Their family was strongly connected to the Ulua Fishing community. So I guess you could see where the connection to the dream of the ocean is. I didn’t follow up on this feeling and just let it go. I found out a year or so later that the Wife had passed away around that time. A little while ago my husband dragged me to the beach because I was holing up in our apartment like a hermit. It was a nice day at the beach. We chose a beach close to where I used to go fishing with my dad and his best friends family. Specifically it was always the father, wife, and son with the fishing club. My husband asked me if I wanted to take something from the beach as a memorabilia. I said no because you always hear in Hawaii not to take things home from places due to a connection with the supernatural. But then I spot this petrified wood sticking out of the sand. I take it out of the sand and it’s petrified wood in the shape of an ulua fishing hook. I felt compelled and took it home because it made me think of my dad’s friend and his family.

I don’t know it was like it was left their for me to find. Coincidental? Not to sure. But it was a little journey to find this object on the beach. Like they left it there for me to find. And for a little while I felt happy.

Dear grandma and grandpa Miyashiro,
I have some things I feel like I never atoned for when you were both alive. I don't really know how you both felt about me being gay. I don't know why I admitted it to you. I know that during your time it was hard to be gay. Mom explained it like you were just concerned I would have a hard life. And I understand that. I know it's different from living in your time but I've watched enough things to know what kinds of things happened to those who were found out to be gay or who came out. I hope you are happy for me now that your both in happier places. Or at least I hope you both are happy now and proud of me to an extent. Im having a hard time now but it's not because I'm gay but it's because of the choices I've made in life. Partially to do with my sexuality but mostly because of mental problems I never fully addressed growing up.

Towards the end of both of your lives, I was not a good grandson. I don't know if it was because I was being lazy or if it was because of the illness inside of me. That I regret fully and I don't know if I will fully come to terms with it. I couldn't take care of you both fully at the end. I feel that our ancestors saw that and maybe they are punishing me because they saw these things before hand. I hope you see that I am trying to fix myself and atone for things I have done so far in life.

I don't know much about your lives, what you accomplished, or about your regrets. I didn't try to know more about you and I wish I had. I could have learned what it was like to be a picture bride matchup. What it was like playing sanshin music back in Okinawa at the bars. I heard that you were popular at the places you played at grandpa. What it was like to work the sugarcane fields.

Was life hard for you both? To go to war against your brother USA vs Japan? What was your brother like? I'm glad that your sister forgot that she was mad at you grandpa. That is probably not the way you wanted her to forgive you but I heard that she was a stubborn lady. She may not have ever forgiven you had it not been for the dementia. I wish that she could have forgiven you before she forgot.

I hope that you are both at peace.

Love,
Your grandson
Cameron

I’m at a job I thought I was doing well at and thought I was happy at. My longest job yet around 2 years. But here I am blogging about it.
I’m not sure if I truly am happy here. I’ve been out from work since March 16th 2022. I acknowledged that I was ignoring my mental health for a long time. It started affecting my work like it has for my whole life. I ignored the pattern yet seeing it before my eyes again and again. I’m with a therapist now and on medication. I told myself for so long that I didn’t need it. It endangered my job again. I’ve thought that I’m not good at living life. That’s why I’ve wanted to die silently for so long. To afraid of self inflicted death so always wishing to be taken by other means whether pushing for someone else to do it or by accident. I thought living with someone I love would take care of this. Have someone to help me. But I’m a burden. I push everyone away because I don’t want to Suck everyone into my problems. So here I am trying to get help. And my therapist says that I don’t have to do this alone…. But I watch movies or series and think like the hell this character should stop being so helpless…. But here I am living in their shoes… what right do I have to say that about them when I act like them and live their lives.

So I am at the precipice of decisions and outcomes of my actions. I may leave this job where everyone has been nothing but supportive of me. I should have been fired a long time ago but my boss has faith in me that I can fix myself. That I can find help and fix me. Everyone in my life has tried to help me but I feel like the Titanic. Still existing at the bottom of the sea. The decision to find a job where I can prosper at home maybe. It’s sad to think that I thought I could make it this time if only I had found the help I needed sooner. I’m not sure I can return to work after what I had created. Or maybe I’m just helpless and can’t work because I can’t make it anywhere. It’s probable that I will gain the strength someday to make life at least work. But when will that be… someday whether in life or death I will make it work. I have decisions I need to make…

The purpose of this thread is just to maybe start blogging. Blog to people I don’t know. I may not reply to this thread. I hold too much inside and I have to release it if I want to heal I think. Tonight I just felt like releasing this.

Dear uncle eddie,
I know that you have passed on. I’m happy that your pain is gone. I’m glad that you are someplace where you are at peace. I hope that you are at peace with the life that you lead. I’m sorry that I never understood you when you were alive. I’m sorry that I didn’t visit you in your final days. I know that you had lots of guilt and regrets in your life. I understand that now. I never picked up the guitar like you did. I wish I learned it from you. You had the talent to make it. I regret not getting to know you better and not resolving the the differences we had. I hope you are having the life you wish you had now.

Love,
Cameron
Your nephew

It feels like a relief to know that there are others out there who have the same thoughts. I've hidden it inside for so long that I felt alone. My husband has a different view point of this whole thing.

He embrasses death. If it comes for him he will not be afraid. He will welcome death and dine with it with a glass of red wine so to speak. Then leave the diner while paying the price.

Isn't it a hard thing to understand? It is like we can't take our lives outright but yet are we afraid of death? I am not sure I am afraid of death or not... I have not been able to kill myself. I once went to a baseball park in the dead of night and took pills with me and a knife. I was going to take the pills and then slit my wrists. But I lay there for a couple of hours paralyzed and not wanting to feel the pain of the knife and knowing there was a chance the pills would not work. I thought of all the people I know who would question why I killed myself because I seem like a happy person. It would bring dread and death to people who do not deserve to feel the impact of my actions upon myself.

It's a wish washy subject in my head but a for sure thing that I want to be relieved of this life.

https://youtu.be/jD7q-_nJNPQ
I remember Dance Dance Revolution being in nearly every arcade as I grew up. Usually either at the front to draw a crowd, back entrance to bring people inside, or in the dark corner because its too loud LOL.
DDR has had a classically perfect song selection that was able to be passed on between new DDR games.
I got pretty good at DDR but never perfected it. Couldn't cross over into doubles mode. I didn't like to use the backbar back then but in hindsight I could have gotten better had I used the bar.

I have noted that they all have either been replaced with other games dance games or other things.

https://youtu.be/T2e1tsnKkiI
(The video is mislabeled DDR. It is Pump It Up due to its signature middle button and signature diagonal arrows versus DDR's up, down, left, and right arrows.)
Most popularly it's Korean brother "Pump It Up" has taken over many arcades in my area. Song selection was great but limited. The difficulty of the "dancing" feels higher but it may be due to me having grown up on straight up down left right buttons my whole childhood. Never got as good at this game as I did with DDR but I had a great run with it.

https://youtu.be/VDNlW-11LN0
I am actually super interested in some games that have never made it near me such as "Dance Rush Stardom"
It looks fun and kind of simple. I can kind of shuffle but I think this game would encourage me to go through a new faze of dancing.

So the point of this thread is a general discussion of dance arcade games.
Do you prefer the newer generations of dance games?
Memories of going to the arcade, standing in line, putting your quarter on the screen to claim your next turn?
Has anyone here ever entered some kind of dance arcade game tournament!?
ETC!
Lets dance away people!

https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=103998&ppp=20&page=0#1392919

Go to the thread above to have a better understanding of the Divine Comedy book. It has a link at the top if you want to read translations of the book.

STEP RIGHT UP CAUSE NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!!!
Place people in one or more of the 9 circles of Hell!!!

If you know people have gone to hell. If you want people to go to hell. Who would they be? Why are they there?

What are they doing there?
(I’m talking are they are shoveling gold forever while it rains acid or what?)

Be flexible in your thinking.
You can take this as a rant question and get it off your chest about some people.
That one neighbor is always yelling at everyone! They will spend the rest of their days in the circle of Anger, endlessly yelling at his own reflection! They will be screaming about all the reasons they ended up their. Always feeling the need to take a breath, but will never be able to. A constant spewing of self hatred…

You could take this more seriously and use logic to place people from history in hell like maybe Cleopatra in Lust because she couldn’t stick with one lover or something.

Even make it fun and summon people like
13twisted666 : You are going to Hell! You shall be eating death nuts in the circle of Gluttony but be forever hungry because it all come out immediately the other end burning! All because you just can’t stop taking the Death Nut Challenge! Always hungry for the buuurrrrrn!

https://digitaldante.columbia.edu/dante/divine-comedy/inferno/inferno-1/
The link above will take you to a site that translates the book the “Divine Comedy” into English. It also has some type of commentary explaining the reasoning for certain translations or meanings behind certain words and phrases in the original language.

Then there are those who know the story through the video game “Dante’s Inferno”. Video link below this of game play to refresh your memory. Spoiler warning and graphic content warning for the video link because it is very God of War with sensitive content.
https://youtu.be/ysCrkeoKdnY

For those who only played the video game I suggest to read through the first link at the top if you want a better understanding of the book the game is based upon. The video game is a very generalized telling of the book and of course action packed unlike the book.

What do people think about the way Hell is described in the Divine Comedy?

How does it differ from what you know about Hell?
Do you believe this is what hell is like?

Would you want to journey through Hell like Dante did in the Divine Comedy? For what reasons? Perhaps to be better prepared for how you might be judged after death?

There is more questions I have about how the Divine Comedy aligns or deviates from different religions perspectives on Hell.
But I think more questions will organically grow out or so I hope.

FOR MORE FUN PLEASE PLACE PEOPLE IN HELL IN THE THREAD BELOW! Happy sorting ⬇️
https://www.vizzed.com/boards/thread.php?id=104000&page=0#1392921

Gotta memo cause I’m not feeling the buzz.

What brand, type (cigarettes, cigar, pipe, Snuff, ETC.), and variety do you smoke and why? Do you smoke while drinking?

I smoke American Spirits Cigarettes. I did mostly menthols Green to Dark Green till I found out about their carbon filter cigarettes Sky, Hunter, and Celadon. What ever of the 5 I can get a pack or a carton.

I do drink and smoke to get a feel of where I am drinking cause it brings on the buzz quickly.

Since I’m drinking tonight, here is the question.

What is your favorite drink of choice?
It can be alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverages.

For example tonight I’m drinking an old favorite from when I used to go clubbing and dancing all night long back in the 2010s to sometime after that.
I’m basically drinking a Jägerbomb which is Jägermeister with some energy drink such as Red Bull. But I’m not measuring the shots to energy drink ratio. I like energy drinks with any alcohol.
It rushes the buzz quicker and I can control my drinking for the rest of the night.

Name me some wines. Give me an oldie like an Old Fashioned or Sprite Remix. Or Newer things like CocaCola Clear.

Drink healthy drink happy.

“Please let me go. I’m silently suffering inside and I don’t want to be a financial burden after this. It’s time for you to truly be happy. I love you.”

It’s not that I’ve given up on life. It’s that I don’t know what I’m doing. I only guess that I’m doing the right things. I let the cookie crumble. I want to let go when the time comes. I don’t know if I would hold on.

I have secretly had a death wish for a very long time. I want to know if others have had one too or still have one. A discussion about how everyone’s wish differs from one another or other things about this topic ETC.

It’s a made up term that I made up in my head because there isn’t a term that I know of that fits my definition of this. It is not Suicide because some people’s wish is for complete accidents to happen to them. It is not assisted suicide for the same reason.

A death wish is when you are too afraid to kill yourself, but you secretly wish for something to happen to you that will end your life.

Some examples are natural disasters, being killed by someone (murdered, hit by a car, etc.), accidental death (parachute doesn’t open, a rope breaks, plane crash).
In general you want to die by ways that are not in your control or in situations where you can relinquish the control to someone or something else.

To clarify if I were kidnapped I believe I would encourage the kidnapper to kill me because I think I would want them to kill me. If the boat died at sea I wouldn’t try to survive for too long. If I were dying of cancer I would not try to live for long.

This is all in my head of course and I don’t really know how I will truly act in these situations. I am generally happy at this point in my life, but I secretly am tired and wish for it all to end.

Who else has this wish? You can private message me if you want to. I don’t know if I will reply to the messages or this thread. I am usually distracting myself all the time.

Feel free to let your wish be known…

I am listening to love music to write this. I hope I don't lose the thought process of this as I make this thread.

I am currently in love. In love with my Husband. And as of right now I feel as though we will forever longer that forever be together.

Looking at all the powers of love that is presented in media and peoples life experiences, we know that love is just... well unbelievable. Those that haven't been in love fathom its feelings. Some have seen what other people have gone through wish to not know. Some know its feeling.

It appears to have the power to make people do things that they never would have done outside of love. It helps withhold secrets, yet divulges them when it wants to. Causes you to break habits and make other habits. It has the power to change you in unknowable ways.

In movies it has made people turn back time, go to the future, cross universes, cross dimensions.
Superman reversed time to save the one he loved. Super heroes have killed in the name of love and so have villains.
In romance movies people will keep secrets to prolong the happiness of those they love, go through the same pain multiple times if it meant being able to bring back people to love them again, even abandon their love in exchange of pain to preserve those that once loved them.
In the movie "Baby Driver" love helped them gain the last strength and push to leave a life that they didn't want and gain one they only dreamt of before meeting each other.
Juliet thought that death would bring her to Romeo. So did Romeo... and sadly... it did. ("Romeo + Juliet" Leonardo DiCaprio 1996 comes to mind). 

In life it helped people commit murder, seal secrets to the death and make political moves.
Mr. Rogers used his love of children to convince congress to increase funding for children's programs in a matter of minutes.
Bonnie and Clyde (though we don't know the extent of their love of each other) killed because they loved each other and loved doing it together. Peoples love of other people cause them to kill each other so that they will be in no ones hearts and only their heart forever.
The song "Caruso" supposedly tells of the true story of an opera singer teaching his mistress to sing in his dying days.
How many people have moved their lives in the name of love?
How many people have made Career moves due to love?
How many people have changed themselves due to love?
Quit smoking, quit drinking, divorced, remarried, became dirt poor, became rich, even let go of the one they love for love?

Sometimes its the conflicts of love that is challenging. Choosing one over the other. Either way leaves someone with a piece of emotion from love.
Family love? Friendship love? Romance love? Love of your job? Love of a place? Love of an object? Love of oneself.

And Love transforms, shapes, and morphs. Into something more or something less?

And when you fall out of love, the process and the after effects can be devastating.
Going back to old habits worse than before. Or unwilling to let go in the worst ways.

Lets talk about all aspects of love.
What has it done for you? Has it changed you? Do you wish to fall in love romantically? Is it burdensome? Would you save one you love with the sacrifice of others? What are your thoughts on love?
If you found yourself falling in love with someone you feel you shouldn't (family member, friend, married person, etc.) what are your actions, feelings, thoughts?
You will have to leave everything you know behind to be with the one you love. Would you?
The one you love is suffering so much that they ask you to kill them. Would you?
What happened to you after falling out of love? Mutual? Destructive? Consequences?
What made you start to love? Or was it unconscious unthinking love (I guess this is mutual love?Maybe this pertains to family)?

I thought of this thread because I have put myself in these situations in my mind. I have thought about ending the life of my love if he asks of it, moving on from him if he makes me. Sacrificing myself to save him.
Knowing him as a person though has all kinds of variables on these scenarios. His opinions and decisions would change the outcomes completely. This makes it impossible to know anything till they happen. This makes the future uncertain and my love for him unwavering. I want to be with him when it happens and experience it.

This is a tree branching thread about general love. Converse with one another about different topics of love.

Don't give up on life no matter how hard it gets. I finally got a job interview after announcing my plans to leave my old job months ago. I am up at 2:40am due to a sudden itchy feet thing that woke me up... job interview at 11am

On the other hand still battle bouts of depression. Avoided going out to a graduation event that I was looking forward to for months and even had input at the event. All due to a sudden feeling of not wanting to leave the house. 

Started smoking real cigarettes again because it feels good at times... not sure why... will never get the feeling out of the back of my mind that I may be bringing misfortune in the future. Even Vaping I don't know if something will happen.

Still saving money to move out with my husband. Due to months of being moved to part time at current job I'm running low on money. Not a great feeling. Always thinking about the future and what I will need it for.

But all that is so petty in comparison to what other people are going through.

Keep up the good work. You were always strong. Be what you can be. Accomplish what you can. Never ever give up.

I can't always be here for you but you pull through.

Love always,
camkunimura

PS : The whole point of the thread was to congratulate you. Guess I missed the point but don't know if the words sprouting out of my brain will mean anything to you. I think its the way that I first read the thread.
Congrats LOL.

I forgot you can't delete these on your own.... Sorry making more work for the Mods.

Local Moderators : You may clean this up if you want to.