Minuano : it get toad away from cid789

Minuano : My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. from cid789

Minuano : the last one is a food joke one from cid789

Minuano : What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.

What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?
Ketchup.

How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.

Q : Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A: A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

Q : What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q : Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
A: The players dribble a lot.

Q : What do postal workers do when they’re mad?
A: They stamp their feet.

Q : Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!

from cid789

Minuano : What is a computer’s favorite snack?
Computer chips.

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals?
Phillipe Phillope.

What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look! I’m about to change.

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?
Ketchup.

How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.

Q : Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A: A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

Q : What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q : Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
A: The players dribble a lot.

Q : What do postal workers do when they’re mad?
A: They stamp their feet.

Q : Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!

from cid789

Minuano : part 2 of the jokes.

Fred : Can you tell me about that new do-it-yourself orthodontist?
Ted: Brace yourself.

Q : What is a tree’s favorite soda?
A: Root Beer.

Q : What has T in the beginning, T in the middle, and T at the end?
A: A teapot.

Q : What does daylight saving time mean in Seattle?

A: An extra hour of rain

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.

What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken wasn’t born yet.

Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go, let it go.”

What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.

What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts

from cid789

Hey

Minuano :

What happens when you throw a red rock in the blue sea

Hey

Minuano :

It gets wet.

Ha!

Minuano : Why did the bike fall over?
It was two tired.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.

What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?
“Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.

Why do people say “break a leg” when you go on stage?
Because every play has a cast.

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
Because it’s pointless.

Why did the photo go to jail?
Because it was framed.

from cid789

Minuano : What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

Minuano : A dino-snore.

Minuano : What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer?

Minuano : A father-in-law.

Minuano : Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Minuano : They crack up too easily.

Minuano : How did the hipster burn his tongue?

Minuano : He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Minuano : How did the barber win the race?

Minuano : He knew a shortcut.