Allow me to apologize in advance for any harm caused by this highly unprofessional and questionable review

Gosh this game makes my nipples rock hard
Released in 1994, Battletoads the arcade game (not to be confused with Battletoads and Battletoads) combines excellent presentation with satisfying if somewhat repetitive gameplay.
I'm gonna go ahead and divide every rated thingy like another one of those boring people because I lack the writing skill to write a coherent review :
Graphics - (9/10)
This game features excellent sprite work and nicely detailed backgrounds with a violent art style and toilet humor which is something everybody finds entertaining.
Sound - (7/10)
Catchy but somewhat forgettable music, alongside less than impressive sound effects and less than stellar voice acting.
Addictiveness - (6/10)
This game is fun enough to warrant a second playthrough, however there are only 2 levels that aren't straight up beat-em-up levels which is another one of those chasm levels a la level 2 of the NES Battletoads, and an on-rails space shooter level. Neither are particularly fun, and the beat-em-up gameplay eventually loses it's novelty.
Difficulty (8/10)
You will repeatedly get your ass handed to you while playing this game, as it's difficulty is intense. The only thing that makes this game even beatable here is the unlimited credits courtesy of MAME. With merciless enemies and stage hazards, this game is nothing short of hard, yet still not as hard as the original or Battlemaniacs

During stages, you can play as any Battletoad you want as this is one of the 2 games in the series where all 3 Toads are actually playable and they all play differently but everybody knows that Zitz is the best one and everyone should play as him forever.
One aspect of this game I haven't touched upon yet; the gore. Various combos done by the toads result in like 8 milliliters of blood to spill out every so often so clearly this game deserves to be rated M for mature

I'm actually really awful at portraying my love for a videogame, I just realised. Play this game. It's fun. IGN would've given it 12/10 if they were good.