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| Jim Profit's Last Game Comments | Super Mario Dark World part 3 Easy Op | Explain to me exactly how this is easy with four seconds to try and figure out what's even going on on the first level. About the only thing "easier" is the controls seem to respond a little better. | Pokemon Crystal All (hack) | >Go to play a gen 2 hack to get inspiration for my own hack. >Still the same durps where no pokeballs till second town over, annoying mechanics, etc. >Trainers are way more powerful, and you're expecting to get carpel tunnel syndrome from level grin | Sonic 2 - Robotnik\'s Revenge | Makes me realize why I hated sonic so much as a child. "Let me go through the trouble of collecting all these rings so I can just throw them all off screen in one hit and maybe grab one back hhhuuurrr" | Super Metroid - Boss Rush Mode | First stage and I'm already sick of this game. Platforms are terrible. I was hoping with boss rush it'd just be a beat'em up. Having to time jumps just right isn't a game, it's a competition. I'm trying to blast aliens for fun, not be in the Olympics | Pokemon Snakewood | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQsriCGbbYw I made a video review. It isn't positive. | Pokemon Snakewood | This game's designer must have a small penis. Quarterback pokemon with stats ridiculously out of the league of a level 25 pokemon, and then throw one that can only be damaged by things super effective too. That's f***ing insane. Even by gamefreak standards |
| Jim Profit's Last 5 Game Reviews (view last 25) |
06-14-14 09:29 PM |
Most counter-intuitive Final Fantasy you will ever play. Playing more modern JRPGS such as Blue Dragon, I wanted to see some of the more classic models. I went in knowing FF2 was one of the more unpopular installments. Though I thought this was through it being so "different" from the normal formula, not the broken game mechanics. While there is many exploits as far as how to cheat the leveling system, etc. I don't really want to get into that as I want to talk about how well the game holds up on it's own. Putting yourself in the position of someone who knows nothing about the game, or maybe even about Final Fantasy. Graphics: 8. For an 8-bit the graphics are pretty impressive. This is what drew me into wanting to play FF2. There are many old jrpgs, but I really liked the vibrant colors and unique styles of every monster. Every monster does feel different, and the graphic designers truly got the most out of the 8-bit capabilities. Sound: 7. Sound is another good one. The music is noteworthy even in random encounters where you'll get bored of it quickly. While the sound is both well done and clear, most of it is taken directly from it's predecessor. Addictiveness: 1. This is where we start to see why no Final Fantasy fan likes to speak of FF2. I knew going in there was a stat system over a class system, I also knew going in that it was poorly done when it ends up being a class system anyway when excess strength or power reduces intelligence so you can't go around doing mage things and fighter things at the same time. That foreknowledge could not prepare me for even MORE contradictory, ridiculously unexplained hardships that lied ahead. For example, something as simple as learning a spell made me have to break the mold I use to judge a good game and look up online how to "learn" a spell. I still don't know. If it's what I think it is and a spellbook is a one time use tome, than why even have magic in the game? The first magic shop you see has overpriced ... Read the rest of this Review |
Pokemon Battle Factory 03-27-14 04:06 AM |
Pokemon Stadium For The Gameboy. An oddly fabricated hack considering nothing as far as sound effects, graphics, or game mechanics (including many broken moves... fire spin comes to mind) goes. So rather than rate those, we'll get right into addictiveness, story, depth, and difficulty. Addictiveness: 4. The hack tries to give an arcade style feel to pokemon, where a random selection of six "starter" pokemon are at your disposal, among them you choose three, than go on to battle random trainers you would have normally met in the game. (Like fishers, bug catchers, super nerds, etc.) This PvP style gameplay between player and A.I. is probably what a lot of people have been looking for in a pokemon game. Being able to just stat for stat, battle without differing level conditions. And the point is to accumulate as many "wins" as possible to show off with like a highscore. Depth: 3. As described in addictiveness, you pick three, than when you defeat an enemy you may switch out one of said three for one of their pokemon. This random fantasy football sort of play style might seem like great fun at first, but you'll quickly find your team build is either grotesquely inefficient, or all powerful. Either way it will bore you unless your interest is specifically in high scores. Difficulty: 4. Depending on your build, you could either lose the first round, or never lose. The thing is though it's all so random which does not work well in turn based combat and rock, paper, scissor formats like pokemon. Another cruelty factor is once you lose a battle, you must start from the bottom at zero and earn your way back up to beat your old high score. (Though I suppose you could just save in between battles and than reset if you lose.) But dirty tricks like auto-saves won't do you any good if the dice gods just aren't in the mood that day. And even if you get an elite team, considering how pokemon battles tend to go with 1001 variables involving status ailments, bindin... Read the rest of this Review |
Wario Land - Super Mario Land 3 12-14-13 08:33 PM |
Forget what you knew about Mario. Wario Land is nothing like Mario anything Mario had at the time, nor would ever have even to present day. There is some good to this, but a lot more bad... And all will be discussed within the ratings of each category. Graphics: 9. For the original Gameboy, the graphics were good. It may not be vivid and detailed, but each enemy is unique, you can clearly see platforms, etc. It's such a shame the controls are so sluggish and unresponsive (in a PLATFORMER of all gaming types...) that you can't be bothered to actually take advantage of the fact you can see your surroundings and react accordingly. Sound: 7. Unique, fitting, but repetitive. The music does justice on the feel of the game being a zany, anti-hero escapade. And I don't think there'd be a very good way to prepare you via music for the brutality that lies ahead. Bringing us too... Addictiveness: 6. Oh sure, a part of you wants to continue playing. Especially when you know there is an alternate ending if you have enough coins. Wario Land is just simple and inviting enough to keep you playing, without actually offering you anything. You want to talk about greed? It ain't Wario who is greedy, he's just a byproduct of his environment. The game is completely unforgiving. One wrong move, and you're a little midget with a mohawk regardless of your power ups. I honestly don't know what the hearts are for if 1Ups can be accumulated separately, my guess is it's a slower way. It sure isn't for health in-game. And many of times (because of the bad controls as I said) you'll find yourself spiraling right into a downgraded power-up you did not ask for. With walls, enemies, bad control schemes, and absolutely no sort of clue where you're supposed to go next, the game hardly qualifies as addictive which I take to mean "fun". By the second level you are expected to just figure out where the plus sign giant coin is so you can escape this nightmarish scenery with phantom platforms, guys wh... Read the rest of this Review |
Bomberman Quest 11-26-13 09:30 PM |
It's like someone went behind a good game and put in reasons to hate it. This game had potential, but the goblin of hindsight and I don't know... a hatred of hobbyists everywhere from deep seated abuse or something, turned a good game into an infuriating roller coaster in a matter of minutes. Bomberman is unique from other iconic old timey games. It's overhead like Zelda typically, maze like like Metroid, and externally power based with power-ups like Mario. Bomberman is about strategy and patience more then speed runs or offenssive blitzkreigs. Trying to hurry in Bomberman is a good way to blow yourself up. Graphics: 2. The sprites themselves are normal Gameboy attire, but the color patterns are so weak, and the implementation of attacks so artificial, it looks like someone did this in paint overnight. Maybe they did. Some might say to give it leeway for probably being released during the early stages of Gameboy color, but even the first Bomberman had the bombs feel more natural in their environment. This puts a big ugly square white block over the bomb, or something similar like you're literally just putting other images over it in a paint edit. Sound: 4. Not the worst I've ever heard, but certainly not the best. Loud, high pitch shrills, signifying it's intended for kids, (Why are "kids games" always the most God awfully difficult and aggravating?) it's a big leap from where Bomberman was in his arcade days. Where he used to be in league with Dig-Dug and Spelunker as an adventurer type character, he was now basically becoming Kirby with weapons instead of powers. Addictiveness: 3. The problem is death. Death is to be expected in all games, but no one tells you that the first thing that's going to happen when you die is you're going to revert to a previous save point. So make sure to save often. We have the convenience of Vizzed's auto-save system using f2 and f4 respectively, but back then we wouldn't be so lucky. The only save point in sight is at the beginning of the game. So you know what that... Read the rest of this Review |
Mario Jump 11-14-13 05:28 PM |
A sidegrade to the original. The original NES Super Mario Bros lives in most older gamers hearts as one of their first gaming experiences. Back then games were challenging and pretty much needed cheat codes if you were not a hardcore player or just wanted to mess around. This game isn't bad, but a common mistake would be coming into it thinking the high jump is a built-in cheat, when in fact it's just an alteration to the meta-game. A big alteration, with a lot of smaller ones hidden underneath. Graphics: 7. Graphics are actually improved in my opinion. A brighter tone, and Mario's old blue and black suspenders like in the Atari Mario Bros. Sound: 2. The sound is strictly worse. Original NES Super Mario Bros had some fantastic sound, and this has butchered it was fast forward screeches. Story: 1. It's Mario. No story to speak of, but even less so as there's no real fluff for the high jump. Would have been kind of cool had it been incorporated as a permanent power-up Mario found. Depth: 7. While technically no stages have been altered or extended, the high jump does make it a lot easier to seek out warp zones. Difficulty: 6. About what I'd list the original Super Mario Bros. While you may be able to just swoop right through levels and all the difficult platforms, it could be a slow and painful time based death when you realize you can't complete it because you went up the blocks of Bowser's castle and now are breaking the fourth wall of walking among the timer and high score tables whilst Bowser is attacking air and you can't go back. I have not attempted to see if this effects the flags as well that if you go over them, then come down, you can't pull the flag down. I do know many glitches previously existed in the game that I did not experience. No freezes, just gimped combat. The fact is high jump does make goomba stomping a bit more sloppy and prone to killing you. You won't be gathering as many coins, 1Ups, o... Read the rest of this Review |
| Game Boy Advance Games Jim Profit owns (25) |
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.jpg "Phoenix Wright - Ace Attorney 3 (English beta 0.03) - gba")
.jpg "Fire Emblem - Zombie Apocalypse (demo 2) - gba")
.jpg "Pokemon Toxic Purple (Beta V1) - gba")
.jpg "Pokemon Amnesia (save file fix) - gba")
.jpg "Pokemon Marble (beta 2) - gba")
| Super Nintendo Games Jim Profit owns (19) |
.jpg "Final Fantasy VI (english translation)")
| Nintendo 64 Games Jim Profit owns (2) |
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| Nintendo NES Games Jim Profit owns (8) |
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| Game Boy Color Games Jim Profit owns (6) |
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.jpg "Pokemon Crystal All (hack) - gbc")
| Sega Genesis Games Jim Profit owns (2) |
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.jpg "Game Genie (Program) - gen")
| Game Boy Games Jim Profit owns (5) |
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.jpg "Pokemon Brown 2009 (red hack) - gb")
| Commodore 64 Games Jim Profit owns (1) |
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| Apple II Games Jim Profit owns (1) |
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| MSX Games Jim Profit owns (1) |
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| MSX 2 Games Jim Profit owns (1) |
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