So, recently I've been having some home trouble and I tried moving out to live with a friend, but that didn't work out and had to move back. Right now, I'm in a tight situation, and was wondering how I need to go about leaving home? I don't own a vehicle and don't live in an area where public transportation is common. I don't have a job either, but I plan on getting one and have several friends willing to help me out. It's been suggested I get an apartment with roommates, and because I know one of my friends for sure wants to leave home, I'm thinking that's a possible idea. But the fact is, I need to get out as quickly as possible because of feelings, mainly due to my stepdad. I'm pretty sure he tried blaming something on me to make me seem like the horrible guy, and I haven't even been home a week lmao. this was more of a venting post, but if any of you have suggestions on what to do or look for, that would be great. At this point, I'd be willing to just live in a cardboard box because the life at home is so stressful and awful x.x. I would move in with my boyfriend, but he lives in Indiana and I'm stuck in Tennessee. We have a plan to move in together, but we can't execute it for another year, and at the rate of how home life is going, it's gonna have to be pretty soon. Sorry about the venting. Just needed to get it all out. 

I had this same problem a bit back, so maybe I can be of a little assistance.

Outside of the home trouble, my situation was similar. I wanted out, and there didn't seem to be many options.

I still do not own a vehicle, but managed to move out to the LA area of California in the past few weeks, with my girlfriend.

In your case, if you have friends, try to situate a roommate deal. But only friends. I don't trust people I don't know well to begin with.

If you need to get out as quickly as possible, try seeing if you can crash on someone's couch until you have everything figured out. I don't know how bad your homelife is, but you shouldn't stake out unless you feel it is an absolute need. The world is very tough on people in our situations and it can take a while to get feet under you in a new environment.

I am still figuring it out myself, but I think the key is to just find something you know you can handle, and then handle it. The first step is getting into a position where failure isn't paramount to serious pain, injury, or deprivation of any needs. It's easier said than done, but you have to put yourself in a position where you are hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst at all times.

legacyme3 :

I am pretty sure that my boyfriend would love to let me stay with him, but he currently lives in a dorm. We planned to move in together this upcoming summer (I was going to visit him on the last day of May/first day of June anyway before I suggested securing a job and moving up there). It wasn't until someone said I should wait and get an apartment here because no one knows what will happen and I don't wanna be stuck in an environment that I began reconsidering, but after what happened tonight, I'm pretty sure boyfriend is best bet unless I can find friends who wanna roommate. 

A lot of the homelife is basically trying to sabotage my relationship. I recently visited him for the first time and everyone seems to think I'm awful for it, and yet I'd never been happier. I would have stayed if not for the fact we had little money for food and he lived in a dorm with a roommate.

After that, I had to move back into my mom and stepdad's house, and tonight I was blamed for something there was no possible way I could do. We aren't allowed to burn incense in the house, and I owned it before. But before coming home, I gave it to my friend who loved incense, not to mention my burner was essentially confiscated and thrown away. But my stepdad somehow managed to find a stick? And they blamed it on me? How is it even possible for me to burn incense when I have none and no burner? All I've done since being home is eat the food I bought for myself and sleep, and yet I somehow manage to still do something wrong? That wasn't even my fault to begin with because it was impossible for me to do so? Not to mention I gave my friend my matches too, and the only people who own lighters are my stepdad and mom. 

It's utter and complete crap, and I just need to get away as soon as possible. I feel unwelcomed here by my stepdad especially, and my sister and I both agree he wants none of us (my mom's) here. It's pretty blatantly obvious. I just need to get out asap and am willing to do so no matter what the cost. Hell, I'd live in my boyfriend's dorm under his bed and eat his horrible Ramen if it meant getting away. 

Ugh, there was so much to vent about sorry. x.x I'm just so angry right now. 

Don't apologize for ranting, it's a tricky situation, and I can't fault you for turning to third parties to potentially help you figure something out.

I wish I could be more than verbal assistance, but it's key that you keep your chin up, no matter how ridiculous or stupid things get. You cannot let these things beat you. You might not have the means now, but that doesn't make your desire any less valid.

What does your mom think about what is happening? You said that your stepdad doesn't want you all to be there and he blames you for things, but what does your mom think about all this and does she support you and back you up on this?

legacyme3 :

I seriously needed to hear this because I was beginning to think I wasn't justified in trying to get out. My boyfriend and I have worked out a way where I can stay with him half of November through half of January if I need to. Thank you. 

play4fun :  

She swears he loves us and wants us here, but the way he treats us sometimes makes us think otherwise. My sister and I had a discussion about that this morning around 2 am since she had to get up for a State competition (she's in band) and I was awake. She wants me to leave because she knows I hate it here. Even my mom agreed that I hated it here. I'm like a prisoner here, and whatever my stepdad says, she goes along with and doesn't overrule. We got into a fight just a few moments ago and he threatened to "get someone to take me out of here permanently," which basically meant calling the police when I had done nothing except express how much I hated it here and how it wasn't fair they blamed things on me when I done nothing, and all she did was roll her eyes. She disagreed but said nothing (also worth noting I think it has to do with religion because of the "man over the household" and they're super religious and she is especially since marrying him). She can't really be herself around him and just parrots what he says. And then he parrots what she says. .-. Everything is a mess.