They just need an @$$ kicking. They would only hit someone that is far weaker than their weak self.

Oldschool777 : Aint nothing an @$$ whooping cant fix wise words from my grandfather

@$$ whoopings should be re-instated. But all the bleeding hearts would be crying,  "It makes kids more violent,It does not solve anything."

Remember the Whoop @$$ shirts?

"Don't make me open this!"

Oldschool777 : lol exactly places where i live still sell the @$$ whooping shirts, They need to get a belt whoopin and being a "savage" will end real quick

TristanTehGamer1 : This does seem rather awful... Moreover, your reaction to it really reminded me of.....

Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy
and have positive feelings toward their captors, sometimes to the point
of defending and identifying with the captors. These feelings are
generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured
by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their
captors for an act of kindness.^[1][2] The FBI's Hostage Barricade Database System shows that roughly eight percent of victims show evidence of Stockholm syndrome.^[3]

Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding,
which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which
describes "strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where
one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or
intimidates the other."^[4] One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm syndrome is based on Freudian theory.
It suggests that the bonding is the individual's response to trauma in
becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the
ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the
aggressor, they cease to be perceived as a threat.^[5]

^{You never know... It was just a thought}

Well, I mean I guess I would consider that pretty bad. Though, I feel like I have heard much worse punishments, I wouldn't say this one is a light one.

I'd imagine it was good at teaching a lesson, though!

Wow, this IS horrible. Especially considering the intent behind why your parents did it, i.e. make you miserable. I had images of Winston in a room with a rat...

So to clarify, this was always done specifically as a punishment? Or was it frequently done during the night just flood your fear? In psychology there is an idea called "flooding." Like if you're afraid of spiders, then someone dumps a barrel of spiders all over you. That's 'flooding' your fear. There are two outcomes: either you see the spiders aren't that bad and this gets rid of your fear, or you just become even more afraid of the arachnid creatures and the experience becomes traumatic. 

If you claim to be over your fear of the dark for the most part and are questioning if this was a horrible experience or not, I'd say as a flooding tactic it worked. If that was the only course of punishment you'd often received, then I'd say your parents were just trying to kill two birds with one stone, since they knew it would be punishment in your case and might also help you get over your fear. Also, do you remember if it was a completely black , sealed room? Or was at least enough light for your eyes to eventually adjust and somewhat see around the room? I'm also not a huge fan of the dark in the case that there isn't enough light to actually see. I also don't have the best sense of balance in the dark, as I am very dependent on my eyes. 

But in general the punishment should be specific to the individual and their crimes. Physically punishing kids and hurting them may get the message across, or it might just force the kid into rebellion. You want to teach kids respect, but not at the cost of giving them the sense that the respect is one-sided. An abused kid will just feel you don't care for them. Punishment is like a negative learning. You're trying to teach someone what not to do. Just like with education it should be catered to the individual. 

To tell you the truth, I don't know.

My parents did the same, except with the garage and the backyard..... at night. Like all kids, I too, was terrified of the dark (heck, I still am!). However, I would try making a light of the situation (and still do.). I would bang on boxes or on the ground and try to mimic a song in my head. That way I wouldn't be scared and my parents wouldn't have to use that tactic on me in the future. Which in turn, worked!


As for it being horrible, I'd say it depends. If you, the parent, are doing it to scare your child then yes. Yes, that's horrible. However, if you're trying to help them overcome their fear of the dark then no. I wouldn't say it's horrible. It's teaching your child that there's nothing to be afraid of. Just make loud noises or use your hearing. Plus, you won't always be there in their bed to comfort them, so this'll teach them to grow up, in my opinion.

TristanTehGamer1 : My parents gave me 3 warnings to stop doing what I was doing then I was hit which was effective on me as my parents hit really hard. I can still imagine the stinging feeling now. Anyway my parents did the same thing but I wasn't scared of the dark so all it did was either calm me down or annoy me. I'm not sure if it is a good or effective method but I have seen and heard a lot worse punishments from my dad at the children's panel.

I had something kinda similar happen when I was a kid. My mom's parents live about an hour away from where we live (and especially where we used to live), so the drives up there as a child were long and tedious. I had to use the bathroom during one trip and we were in the middle of the road with nowhere to really go, so my mom pulled behind a church and let me go there (cause just had to pee). before I was finished, she pulled off and acted as though she was leaving me behind. It was more of a prank than a punishment, but it was still horrible. She apologises to me every time it's brought up. Point is, whether it's the threaten of abandonment or being put in the dark forever, it's still pretty messed up someone would do that to their kids. 

Well... honestly, I think it's up to you to decide if it's bad or not. Personally, I'd hate to be locked up in the dark as a punishment, being locked up in the light isn't too nice an option either... but I've always been at least uneasy in the dark and normally scared of it and I'm an adult. And yes, I'd consider it abusive. If you feel ok with what they did, then it's ok. If it helped you not be afraid, then something good came of it at least.

In my opinion what your parents did was not cool, and I would have certainly hated having that done to me, but I'm sure they only wanted you to realise that there was nothing to fear from the dark. My mother got me a great little novel called 'The Owl who was afraid of the Dark', an entertaining story about an owlet that overcomes his fear of darkness and I would certainly read it to my kids to help them deal with any fears of the dark  

Instead of horrible, let's say it was misinformed.  They were trying to help you face a fear and go against the toughest aspect of your life.  And they probably did what they thought was right, even if you remember it going very very poorly.

It's like that for all kids.  I have two daughters and the question is always, "Where do we make them face challenges and failure vs. where do we help them?"

I don't want them to expect their dad (me) to come to the rescue every time something gets in their way.  Ideally, they learn to say, "Okay, I'm not comfortable in this situation but I'm going to find success no matter what it takes."

I want them to be brave, I want them to attack life and have a lot of fun, and I want them to face fears and overcome those fears by any means possible.  Would I go about the scared of the dark thing in a different way?  Probably, but I can't tell someone else they did something right or wrong.

You're here now, you're probably okay and you survived.  Just keep things moving.

Ghostbear1111 : its a bit of an iffy thing, it happened long ago and i dont remember much i kinda think they used my fear of the dark as a punishment if a asswhoopin with a switch of a tree or somethin didnt work

I can't judge because I'm not sure where you live or what country your in. It might be a cultural thing. However, in my country, USA, and in my personal feelings (coming from an abusive home myself), this is nothing short of child abuse by torture. Many parents have been arrested and children given to the welfare state because of stuff like this.

His parents were only trying to help him get over his fears and to toughen him up. It was only a short while and he turned out okay. Child Abuse in my mind has to be serious,like refusing to feed or care for a child,not sending him to school,beating him like a punching bag.

Oldschool777 : i dont really consider it abuse, sure people could find it a little bad that they used my fear of the dark as a punishment when  a whoopin didnt help but idk it seems like a two sided argument.

That is because that is nothing compared to actual abuse. I guess it is two sided.

I think that is just bad parenting. So many people think that they have to be strict parents and I will say there are so many people out there that truly suck at parenting and it is a shame that we do not have more control over who gets to be a parent or not. I think that as a parent you are supposed to educate, teach values, prepare your kids for life choices, budgeting, responsibility, dating, honesty, faithfulness, and many more aspects of life. I do  not think that punishing kids by forcing them to face their own fears is an adult way to deal with it. I think it was bad of them. This actually brings to mind a viral video on Facebook of a dad using his lawn mower to destroy all of his sons video games and you can see his son beg him for dear life not to. The mom was recording and it was heartbreaking to see how devastated and literally overly emotional and frustrated the son was to see all of his precious games destroyed right in front of him by the people who should love him most. I don't care what parents pay for, I don't care what right they think they have over their child's life as to think they can inflict this level of pain, trauma, and punishment. My mom was great, she loved me and took care of me, but, the amount of punishment and the twisted things I was forced to endure throughout my entire childhood were very traumatic and emotionally afflicting to the point of depression that I still battle with daily. I am 24 years old and I have not started a family of my own yet even though I would love to just because I don't feel time is right and I don't have everything stable in my life to do so. I see things like these where parents just do not understand how much effect they have on their kid's future. Sometimes is bad parenting sometimes is just not knowing better. I found that as an adult, I have addressed all issues of childhood with my mother and she has apologized and has sincerely understood the error in her ways and she is now the best grandmother anyone could ask for and I could not be happier- sometimes just talking to your parents about what they do and how it makes you feel can go a long way.