The salad punches you back. To death. You are dead.

You are playing Minecraft

Minecraft plays you..... Because you are now a game, you are no longer a person, and you are thus dead.

I am lying in bed, thinking that I want a sandwich.

You get up to get a sandwich, but then a evil rainicorn pops out of a portal and rips your spleen out as a sacrifice to the god of kittens.

You die from blood loss.

I am wearing a hat.

The hat turned out to be alive and when you put your head in it, you actual put your head in it's mouth. It ate your head and now your dead.

I'm playing Skyrim as my Khajiit battle mage...

Chindogu : Just then a random lightning strike hits your house causing every electronic in your room to explode as well as deleting your Skyrim game data.


I decided to walk down the street to the record store...

Then you find out that the record store is a secret army base, and they shoot you on sight.

I eat a cake.

Radon : The cake turns out to have explosives, which you end up discovering too late. 
You are dead.
I am thinking about myself as a super saiyan.

NintendoFanKimmy : the super saiyan was limited and you cam back to normal very weak and android 19 absorbed your energy. You are dead ^^! Im playing super smash bros brawl.

You suddenley become the guy you're playing as. You quickly succumb to a final smash.
You are dead.
I'm going on a walk.

While you are walking, GodzillaKitteh comes and blows up your sandwich.

You die from the suffering of not having a sandwich.
I am thinking about pie

But as you are thinking of pie randomly in the middle of the street you get hit by 14 pie delivery trucks and you lose both of your legs and unfortunately for you it is hailing and there is also acid rain outside along with a few tornadoes and a devastating earthquake followed by a tsunami which sweeps you off the ground and buries you under 2,000 feet of water to drown and then you wash up on the beach only to get hit by a pie. You are dead. 

I am making reviews to try and win the cp vcs. 

Your keys come to life and attack you space-invaders style. You are unable to defend yourself.
You are dead.
I'm eating a sandwich.

When you eat the sandwich, you hear knocking on the door. But when you turned around, you see the Heavy in the Builder's League Union in Team Fortress 2. He sees you eating your sandwich but he thinks you are eating his "sandvich", and you see his Mini gun start spinning, and when you try to tell him its yours...welll.....you get shot down. You are dead.

I am getting the hang of this game.

Stararmor : Only to misstep and fall into a bottomless pit where you fall for days before finally starving to death.  You are dead.

I wake up in the morning feeling great!

Likki :

Wow, Likki. You are hilarious

Granted, but then you roll out of bed and slide on a banana peel and then slid into the living room and then out onto the street, get hit by a car and then the blast from that car is so powerful it propels you into outer space and you impact the moon which breaks every bone in your body and then you die from a lack of oxygen, You are dead sir. 


I am typing up an essay about character and setting for English, what could possibly go wrong? 

You accidentaly stab yourself with your pencil....... in the neck.
You are dead.
I'm reading a book in my favourite chair.

You suddenly find out your chair is very near the staircase. the chair com-busts and you fall down the stairs and crack your head on a wall.


I am doing a easy math test in school...

When you stumble across a difficult question.  Looking at the question, you begin to get a terrible headache until the pain becomes so much that you collapse.  The teacher sees you fall to the floor and quickly calls 911 in an attempt to help.  You spend the next 20 minutes writhing and crying out in pain before the medics arrive.  Realizing the seriousness of your condition, they quickly load you into the ambulance and rush you to the hospital.  Once there, your situation goes from bad to worse as you hear the doctors around you talking about your medical insurance.  Between your cries for help and your whimpering pain, they explain to you that not only does this hospital not take your new Obamacare, but even if it did, the state run insurance program does not cover your current medical predicament.  Even as you are carted out of the hospital and left to die, you feel the pain hitting an excruciating peak mere moments before your head explodes in a thundering blast that cracks windows and sets off car alarms for several blocks around your now headless corpse.  You are dead.

Feeling nostalgic, I set down at my computer and begin to play the original Doom game.

When you are playing Doom, you find yourself being sort of zoned into the game. So zoned in that you are practically in the game. In fact, you are the Doom guy. You find yourself just practically invincible shooting at the enemies of the game. (loop) You are on a bloody roll man!! Until you try to kill an endless horde of the Enemy. You find yourself shooting and shooting till you are out of ammo, and since the game no longer can support you any more ammo, you are screwed. You get torn to shreds. You are dead.

Doom starts back up again, this time you are an Imp. You are scrounging around looking for something to kill. Then you see you as the Doom guy. He brings up his shotgun and shoots you dead in one shot. You are dead.

Doom starts back up again. This time you are the Doom Guy. You find yourself just practically invincible shooting at the enemies of the game....(loop)



 I sent somebody on an infinite loop of death