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Do you expect your gf/bf to tell other people about you?

 

04-11-11 11:18 AM
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How soon after your girlfriend or boyfriend meets a new person of the opposite gender do you expect them to say they have a relationship?
How soon after your girlfriend or boyfriend meets a new person of the opposite gender do you expect them to say they have a relationship?
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04-11-11 02:11 PM
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Do you mean like, if my girlfriend meets a new " male buddy " or something ? Well, immediately i suppose. In Fact my girlfriend doesn't get to know people from the other Gender. Only i got to know all her friends and she all of mine, and that's it ^^ !
Do you mean like, if my girlfriend meets a new " male buddy " or something ? Well, immediately i suppose. In Fact my girlfriend doesn't get to know people from the other Gender. Only i got to know all her friends and she all of mine, and that's it ^^ !
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04-14-11 07:10 AM
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warmaker : Well I would expect him to tell her right away. Except I don't know if hes been talking to other girls or not cause its long distance.. but I haven't talked to him in awhile cause there has been alot of things happen in my life I did send him a message on facebook today though.. I love him so much
warmaker : Well I would expect him to tell her right away. Except I don't know if hes been talking to other girls or not cause its long distance.. but I haven't talked to him in awhile cause there has been alot of things happen in my life I did send him a message on facebook today though.. I love him so much
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04-15-11 12:46 AM
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Immediately after we both agree that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Same goes for when it comes to introducing me to his family and friends.
Immediately after we both agree that we're boyfriend and girlfriend. Same goes for when it comes to introducing me to his family and friends.
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04-15-11 03:46 AM
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To an extent. I mean, I like the attention of being the new boyfriend, but there comes a point where it's like "Ok, honey, they know I'm dating you, now let's just... you know, date"
To an extent. I mean, I like the attention of being the new boyfriend, but there comes a point where it's like "Ok, honey, they know I'm dating you, now let's just... you know, date"
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04-15-11 04:05 PM
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I'd start telling people right away. I would be like "HEY GUESS WHAT GUYS!!" But I would definitely tell people when asked. It's like a courtesy really, nothing to be ashamed of so why hide it?
I'd start telling people right away. I would be like "HEY GUESS WHAT GUYS!!" But I would definitely tell people when asked. It's like a courtesy really, nothing to be ashamed of so why hide it?
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04-16-11 12:04 AM
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If we are talking about telling people that you are dating now, then I figure the next time they see them mention it... usually a facebook status update does that for you now though.

Now, if you mean when he makes a new female friend or I make a new male friend (which I believe is your original intention), I say it depends. Personally, I have a lot of guy friends, and I always have. If the guy is acting flirty, I make it clear I have someone right away. If we are just talking normally, then I just drop it into the conversation casually... like "oh yeah, that sounds cool, my boyfriend and I went there once...". Honestly, I would expect him to do the same. Though, to be honest in my current situation it is rather obvious that I am taken, given the ring on my finger and all... and we share friends for the most part (I have some buddies from school, and we both have friends from our old jobs, but everyone has met).

Just because they are the opposite gender does not mean that they are a threat to your relationship, and if you try to keep them from making friends of the other gender then you are already dooming the relationship to failure because you are broadcasting loud and clear that you do not trust them at all to remain loyal to you.

Case in point: an ex of mine tried to make me stop hanging out with my other guy friends because, in his eyes, if I hugged them it was no different than if I had slept with them (his words, cleaned up). I dumped him not long after he said that.
If we are talking about telling people that you are dating now, then I figure the next time they see them mention it... usually a facebook status update does that for you now though.

Now, if you mean when he makes a new female friend or I make a new male friend (which I believe is your original intention), I say it depends. Personally, I have a lot of guy friends, and I always have. If the guy is acting flirty, I make it clear I have someone right away. If we are just talking normally, then I just drop it into the conversation casually... like "oh yeah, that sounds cool, my boyfriend and I went there once...". Honestly, I would expect him to do the same. Though, to be honest in my current situation it is rather obvious that I am taken, given the ring on my finger and all... and we share friends for the most part (I have some buddies from school, and we both have friends from our old jobs, but everyone has met).

Just because they are the opposite gender does not mean that they are a threat to your relationship, and if you try to keep them from making friends of the other gender then you are already dooming the relationship to failure because you are broadcasting loud and clear that you do not trust them at all to remain loyal to you.

Case in point: an ex of mine tried to make me stop hanging out with my other guy friends because, in his eyes, if I hugged them it was no different than if I had slept with them (his words, cleaned up). I dumped him not long after he said that.
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04-16-11 12:23 AM
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yeah, I don't think it needs to be the first thing out of your mouth when meeting new people. That would make you sound insecure. However Elara makes a good point. If the person is getting a little flirty then maybe being obvious about your relationship is needed.
yeah, I don't think it needs to be the first thing out of your mouth when meeting new people. That would make you sound insecure. However Elara makes a good point. If the person is getting a little flirty then maybe being obvious about your relationship is needed.
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04-20-11 08:37 PM
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I don't expect it too be right away
it could wait awhile till we know if
it will work out then the first
thing would be meeting his family
and him meeting my family
then we could tell friends.
I don't expect it too be right away
it could wait awhile till we know if
it will work out then the first
thing would be meeting his family
and him meeting my family
then we could tell friends.
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04-22-11 05:10 AM
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Alot of the people I hang out with are female, it'd be easier to tell my girlfriend what girls I'm NOT friends with than to tell her what girls I AM friends with. Honestly I'm not obsessive about it and my girlfriend ATM is not obsessive about it. She knows she's got competition, because alot of her competition are some of her closest friends, and she also knows that I have been dating her for 4 years and I have no plans for us to ever break up with her- and that I would not cheat on her.

See, I always think that if you've been dating someone for awhile, lets say you get to the 7-month point... well, you should trust each-other not to keep a tight hold on who they are friends with and who they aren't friends with. I've seen couples where one forces the other not to even speak to people of the opposite gender, which is INSANE- but even couples where one is uncomfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite gender, well... it just really goes to show how jealous, insecure, and immature that person is. If you don't trust your partner enough to let him/her have friends of the opposite sex, you should not be dating, period.

But, well... Hm. I guess it's best not to take what I say on these subjects too seriously, I'm still very young and I have alot to learn, I'm just dropping in with my two cents. Sorry if I offended anybody, if I hurt someone's feelings I will gladly remove this post.
Alot of the people I hang out with are female, it'd be easier to tell my girlfriend what girls I'm NOT friends with than to tell her what girls I AM friends with. Honestly I'm not obsessive about it and my girlfriend ATM is not obsessive about it. She knows she's got competition, because alot of her competition are some of her closest friends, and she also knows that I have been dating her for 4 years and I have no plans for us to ever break up with her- and that I would not cheat on her.

See, I always think that if you've been dating someone for awhile, lets say you get to the 7-month point... well, you should trust each-other not to keep a tight hold on who they are friends with and who they aren't friends with. I've seen couples where one forces the other not to even speak to people of the opposite gender, which is INSANE- but even couples where one is uncomfortable with their partner having friends of the opposite gender, well... it just really goes to show how jealous, insecure, and immature that person is. If you don't trust your partner enough to let him/her have friends of the opposite sex, you should not be dating, period.

But, well... Hm. I guess it's best not to take what I say on these subjects too seriously, I'm still very young and I have alot to learn, I'm just dropping in with my two cents. Sorry if I offended anybody, if I hurt someone's feelings I will gladly remove this post.
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04-22-11 05:29 AM
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If the girl tries to flirt with him or anything of that nature then yes if not then I don't care if he has friends that are female.
If the girl tries to flirt with him or anything of that nature then yes if not then I don't care if he has friends that are female.
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05-15-11 09:04 PM
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Well, I'm not quite sure when, maybe a week or two after the relationship, just to make sure its going somewhere. In my opinion, If your girl doesnt wanna talk about you, shes probably not that into you. lol
Well, I'm not quite sure when, maybe a week or two after the relationship, just to make sure its going somewhere. In my opinion, If your girl doesnt wanna talk about you, shes probably not that into you. lol
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I'd expect my bf to mention it as soon as he feels like the other person is expressing an interest. Short of that, I'd hope he'd mention it within a week.
I'd expect my bf to mention it as soon as he feels like the other person is expressing an interest. Short of that, I'd hope he'd mention it within a week.
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07-21-12 05:31 PM
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I wouldn't mind if he didn't mention me at first because I
would become embarrassed when he would tell me he
told some of his friends about me . But , I wouldn't like
it at all if he took a while to mention anything or if I had to
tell him to mention that we are boy friend and girl friend
myself .
I wouldn't mind if he didn't mention me at first because I
would become embarrassed when he would tell me he
told some of his friends about me . But , I wouldn't like
it at all if he took a while to mention anything or if I had to
tell him to mention that we are boy friend and girl friend
myself .
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warmaker : Well this has been a problem for me in the past as some attempts to have relationships with people never really materialized because although they were insistent that they wanted to be with me, they didn’t want to tell anyone. It isn’t fun when that happens and there was a time where it did bother me to a degree. As years have gone on though I just realized that the issue was really a trust issue which as I’ve said many times without trust, there is no real relationship.

It is also a commitment issue in that you may be committed and want to relationship to move forward but by the other person wanting to keep things private it can be a sign of a problem with commitment or at the very least an issue of worrying about what people may think. As I’ve gotten older I let things like that roll off my back because I realize that sometimes no matter how well-intentioned you may be, sometimes it just doesn’t matter and the other end of the “Relationship” is going to do what they want and there’s not much you can do about that other than either simply be patient or say obviously you’re not ready for a relationship and move on. I do think however that if you do choose to move on that you should be as polite as possible. Try not to take it personally and show you’re a bigger person.

warmaker : Well this has been a problem for me in the past as some attempts to have relationships with people never really materialized because although they were insistent that they wanted to be with me, they didn’t want to tell anyone. It isn’t fun when that happens and there was a time where it did bother me to a degree. As years have gone on though I just realized that the issue was really a trust issue which as I’ve said many times without trust, there is no real relationship.

It is also a commitment issue in that you may be committed and want to relationship to move forward but by the other person wanting to keep things private it can be a sign of a problem with commitment or at the very least an issue of worrying about what people may think. As I’ve gotten older I let things like that roll off my back because I realize that sometimes no matter how well-intentioned you may be, sometimes it just doesn’t matter and the other end of the “Relationship” is going to do what they want and there’s not much you can do about that other than either simply be patient or say obviously you’re not ready for a relationship and move on. I do think however that if you do choose to move on that you should be as polite as possible. Try not to take it personally and show you’re a bigger person.

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10-21-12 09:39 PM
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This topic seems kind of old (it was created back in 2011 in November). I will say that you should expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to say to others that they are in a relationship when the relationship is serious (people have different standers of seriousness). Just whoever posted an updated comment on this thread that you didn't do this because of TdV as it could be considered a DQ.
This topic seems kind of old (it was created back in 2011 in November). I will say that you should expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to say to others that they are in a relationship when the relationship is serious (people have different standers of seriousness). Just whoever posted an updated comment on this thread that you didn't do this because of TdV as it could be considered a DQ.
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Well, SINCE this had been necro'd, I might as well put my two cents in.  LOL

I'm married, so my husband better darn tootin' tell people he's married! LOL
But even if you're dating, I think it's something that should be laid out on the table.  I believe in loyalty, and there's no reason to lead another person on.  If you want to hide the fact that you're going out with someone, you probably shouldn't be going out with them...
Well, SINCE this had been necro'd, I might as well put my two cents in.  LOL

I'm married, so my husband better darn tootin' tell people he's married! LOL
But even if you're dating, I think it's something that should be laid out on the table.  I believe in loyalty, and there's no reason to lead another person on.  If you want to hide the fact that you're going out with someone, you probably shouldn't be going out with them...
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10-22-12 05:15 AM
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warmaker : i do expect it if the person is flirting with them
warmaker : i do expect it if the person is flirting with them
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10-22-12 10:10 PM
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Yes, I do expect my partner to let others know he is taken and no longer available for flirting and what not. Shortly after me and Ian got together he told his mother about me, and his best-friend Chase which are the two main people in his life back in South Carolina. Being in a long distance relationship letting others know you're taken is VERY important, the day me and Ian got together basically everyone in my close family circle knew about our relationship. Mainly from us putting ourselves in a relationship on Facebook, but even still. People knew right away that we were together. If you are going to hide the fact you are with someone then how can you be sure that person is being loyal? These are just my basic thoughts on this topic though, sometimes I understand that hiding a relationship has it's reasons. 
Yes, I do expect my partner to let others know he is taken and no longer available for flirting and what not. Shortly after me and Ian got together he told his mother about me, and his best-friend Chase which are the two main people in his life back in South Carolina. Being in a long distance relationship letting others know you're taken is VERY important, the day me and Ian got together basically everyone in my close family circle knew about our relationship. Mainly from us putting ourselves in a relationship on Facebook, but even still. People knew right away that we were together. If you are going to hide the fact you are with someone then how can you be sure that person is being loyal? These are just my basic thoughts on this topic though, sometimes I understand that hiding a relationship has it's reasons. 
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10-23-12 05:25 PM
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As people have said already, if someone is flirting with him, then absolutely, right away no matter how stupid it may feel to just blurt it out. My fiancé has been good about that. One thing he does that I don't like very much is when he doesn't introduce me as his girlfriend or fiancée, however I also try to understand that these are family that he doesn't care for very much and/or doesn't see very often at all. Sometimes I'm also guilty of it, it's kind of like you've been together for a long time already, so it seems obvious to you that you're together, so it just slips your mind when introductions come around. So in a way it doesn't matter if they don't know. Not everyone needs to know, it definitely doesn't mean that they're ashamed of you or anything..as long as you meet the family that counts, like mom and dad, brothers and sisters, and of course the closest friends.
As people have said already, if someone is flirting with him, then absolutely, right away no matter how stupid it may feel to just blurt it out. My fiancé has been good about that. One thing he does that I don't like very much is when he doesn't introduce me as his girlfriend or fiancée, however I also try to understand that these are family that he doesn't care for very much and/or doesn't see very often at all. Sometimes I'm also guilty of it, it's kind of like you've been together for a long time already, so it seems obvious to you that you're together, so it just slips your mind when introductions come around. So in a way it doesn't matter if they don't know. Not everyone needs to know, it definitely doesn't mean that they're ashamed of you or anything..as long as you meet the family that counts, like mom and dad, brothers and sisters, and of course the closest friends.
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