It's a simple thread on a simple date. I'm just curious to see what everyone else things. For me. . . if I were to describe the most important trait. . . I think it's commitment. . . or determination for me personally. If you have a desire and a will to win--if you have decided that you will do whatever you can to make this work and it's a priority in you life, then it should. It's all I've boiled all of my goals in life too. You want something? Put effort into it. Learn how it works, be commitment, and don't be too feely.

I hate the idea of love being something that spawns naturally. I don't believe that even friendships are this way. There is a natural part of our instincts that drives us to have relationships, but in reality we all hate each other on some days. That's why I'd rather put emphasis on choice and logic.

I think that selfishness ruins relationships the most--and that's not far from a lack of commitment if you think about it. What people lack the most is commitment. In a consumerist hook up culture, it's fine to waste a few months of someone else's life just to move on to someone better. Suddenly, people start turning thirty and they realize that the perfect person for them doesn't exist, and then they start settling. It's really sad since if they had just found someone with good character--maybe the two of them could have grown together in a relationship of love and effort rather than looking for easy highs.

My thoughts are pretty old fashioned. There's no denial here. So now it's your turn. Tell me your thoughts. What do you think is the most important part of a relationship. Also, what do you think that people lack the most?

I fully agree with you. I know for a fact that lack of commitment can drive someone to even consider if the relationship is worth the hassle.

However, I do think that friendships can spawn naturally. When you get placed on a team and share the same goals as your fellow teammates, that serves as the basis to start a personal connection rather than just being acquaintances with common goals. Once you get to know them in depth you may discover they're not the kind of people you want to be associated with, but if you want to take the step to know more of them then it's because you actually wanted this to reach a good end.

Under even more specific circumstances, love can also spawn naturally. After all, it's simply feeling a stronger connection to someone way above friendship, and you may not be aware of when did said friendship turn into something more in your heart. You don't know how it happened, sometimes you may not even know why exactly it happened, but despite that it happened.

In my opinion, what people lacks most is personality. We're on an era marked by what's trending, and most no longer care for what they truly like to instead follow whatever is the latest trend. In a sense, this affects relationships as well, because they start thinking more on what will their inner circle's reaction be rather than the feelings of both parties. You could call this as selfish, or you could also call it lack of selflessness in regards to that special someone you may be ditching for third-party reasons.

As for what I think it's the most important part in a relationship, I'd say teamwork (expandable to commitment, selflessness and a few others). Not everyone takes into consideration they're not alone anymore, it's not about "me" but instead about "us". What's best for just you may not be the best for both, and that has led up to not a few breakups. Sharing your life means sacrificing a bit of yourself to win something you can't get for yourself.

Sword Legion : Spoken like a true chivalrous knight. I agree about lack of commitment being a massive problem, but I also believe that there is something bigger that destroys relationships, and can be a byproduct or factor creating the lack of commitment. That would be ignorance. The inability to recognize one's strenghts and flaws and act accordingly, might as well be, at least in my honest opinion, the thing which destroys palpable relationships. Also, dishonesty seems to be an issue, seeing as keeping quiet about problems until they escalate tremendously is never very good. Selfishness may fuel many of these things, but these others factors escalate them exponentially.

I believe that the most successful relationships occur when both parties are purposeful about clearly defining their expectations, and when they intentionally communicate with each other.

See, this is where I think contrary to most wise people. 

I have very rarely had to "work" at a relationship, and if ever I did, it was a very easy accomplishment. That goes for family, friendships, and romance. I agree that commitment is very important, but based on the concept of doing the right thing, and love.

If you truly love someone you will care for their happiness above all else. You will genuinely WANT to watch the movie you know they like, you will WANT the temperature in the car to be the one they are comfortable with, you will WANT to spend money in a way in which they feel comfortable, you will WANT to always be on their side. Say you and your partner are about to watch TV, and you kinda want to watch a horror film, and suggest it, but you can tell be their expression they may not be really happy to do so. If you try to push you want to watch, that is 100% nothing but selfishness. True love means you don't even have to think "oh, if I want to build a good relationship, I should do what they'd find enjoyable"; no, true love means you WANT to watch something that makes them happy. 

People might think I'm being silly; they say "it's JUST a movie, it's not important. If it's something really important, THEN I'll do what I know makes them happy". But the truth is, being selfish in the little things is just practice for the big things. 

People laugh at me or roll their eyes at me when I say this, but they are the one's who I see arguing with their partners, having ugly breakups, or live in a tense household. Meanwhile, I have had 100% success rate with my "method" in all my relationships. 

But there is one important criteria needed for this to work properly: the other party must do the same! If you try to treat a person in this unselfish, loving way, most people will respond in kind. Yes, we will sometimes make mistakes and do something selfish, but it's important to immediately go back to our initial philosophy and never let it escalate. On the other hand, you will occasionally meet someone who does NOT respond in kind. These people simply don't make good friends, they are selfish and have yet to learn how the world works. 

Simple as that. 

I think that the most important aspect of a healthy relationship is acceptance. It is so liberating finding a partner that truly accepts you for who you are. Perhaps its because I've had a long series of stifling relationships, and that I let them rob me of my personality, that I so value a person who can love me while appreciating my independence and allowing me to be exactly who I am, without judgment. Likewise I accept my boyfriend completely as well. I don't love everything about him, but I love him enough that the things that I don't absolutely love seem insignificant. It's also a really supportive relationship, which is important. We support each other no matter what. He's seen me at my worst and he treated me with unfailing compassion. We've only been together for 6 months, but I am completely in love with my boyfriend. I feel so lucky.