Could be better but okay overall. I hate this humid heat, especially getting sweaty and having to shower twice. I'm really waiting for the summer to end soon so I can go back to winter, my favorite season and...there's school, too. I want to return back to my everyday life.

I think I am doing peachy, but I'm not lol.

Man I have been concealing crud in my head for 20 years!

I have a dilemma: go fight for money, or continue my mundane HVAC job.

I'm doing alright all things considered, bout to start college so thats going to be fun.

pretty s***ty rn

Right now I'm super stressed out.

I had probably the worst weekend ever because of how much money I lost due to other peoples stupidity.

Today I got an email saying that I can't work for Amazon anymore.

Plus I'm so far behind when it comes to school and work.

Right now I'm wishing that I had something that would make me excited about going into work. I mean I can bring my own tea in, I have my own mug with me that I carry around, I can stop and get some food for my lunch from Tim Hortons before I get to work (I have to take multiple buses to get there) I'm getting bored and restless. I need a vacation but there's going to be a long weekend in February coming soon, and I only work three days a week, but even....you know what I'm just looking for something new to do at work

Right now pretty sore I just finished my workout for the day on Ring Fit Adventure and I really went hard on my arms and chest today, besides that I've had a couple better days the past few days after having a pretty rough week from an mental standpoint so I'll take it.

Well this week I had a better week than I did last week, my dad drove me to and from work yesterday and today (because I didn't feel like waiting forever for a bus in -40 degree weather). I'm just wishing that the new library printer would arrive so that me and my supervisor would have more to do, our work has kind of been at a standstill ever since the printers went down in the school division, but that was kind of the last straw for the library printer

Doing pretty good. Enjoying my free time after semester exams finished up so I'm doing this TdV thing for a few days for nostalgia's sake.

I'm also no longer quarantined, which is nice I guess. My daily life pretty much is identical to being quarantined so not much is changing but it's nice not being FORCED to stay inside. Other than that I found a fun new game I'm playing today. I've played through the normal version plenty of times but I never knew there was a program that let you modify it. Like a whole new experience lmao.

I'm at a huge transition point in my life — probably the most drastic and sudden transition I've been through. A lot of great things are happening for me, but I'm also leaving behind a lot of comfortable and enjoyable things for the unknown. Last month I graduated from Binghamton University with a BA in English and Political Science. I plan to go to grad school for Education, but I will not start until next fall—meaning that now until August will be the longest period of time I will go without being in some type of school since I was a toddler. Due to unfortunate (and kinda BS) circumstances I also will not be returning to the summer camp I've worked at for the past five years (and attended as a camper for eight years before that. So everything is about to change.

Within the past month I've applied to and interviewed for three different jobs. I applied to be a substitute teacher at the school my step-mom works at, and was just hired a few days ago. I will be starting that next week. I also applied to be a part-time online SAT/ACT tutor for a company that my friend works for. I just finished my third day of training a half-hour ago, and am awaiting a decision about whether or not they will offer me a job. Judging by how well I did during training relative to everyone else, I'm feeling fairly confident. Finally, I applied to a different summer camp. I have yet to hear back from them after the interview, but I am optimistic about that as well, given my strong resume and the vibe I got during the interview.

So, on the surface, I'm doing very well. I'd be lying if I said it was all great, though. I'm excited for new opportunities, but I am also very anxious about jumping into uncharted territory, especially with so many new things all happening at once. I haven't officially started any of these new jobs yet, and I am already starting to feel the anxiousness that I usually experience in new situations. I'll also definitely miss some of the stuff I have to leave behind—my old camp, the paper I ran at school for the past year and a half, etc.

Well I got some stuff happening family wise which both makes me sad and stressed out because worst case scenario would likely force me to become a lot more responsible which I've been honestly avoiding for a while as I've not really felt ready to be an adult full time. (as I currently consider myself a part time adult at best) Not counting that I've felt more alone lately than I have in years which is not fun to admit because I know why that is it's got nothing to do with my friends or anything I still love anytime I get spend with them but I can't deny that I'm going through heartache that no one is really able to help me through. I also don't really know what's up with what's going to happen with me going to college as the option I was going to use before seems to no longer be an option.

I have been stressed out, being worked to the bone by both my college and my uncle by what is effectively compulsory work experience that I have to do for around 5 days total each having around 7 1/2 hours worth of work experience and if I don't do this then I won't qualify meaning that all of my effort throughout this 2 year course would be for nothing. I feel that it would be a lot less jarring if my longest college day wasn't just 5 hours with 2 breaks rather than 7 1/2 hours in a chair with just one break for what feels like forever. Then there is the fact that I have no idea what to do with my life and I have no idea how I would even begin mentally preparing myself to go into the work place after this year and even then I have no idea if all of this covid stuff will be sorted out enough to the point when I would be able to safely since I have asthma I have a higher risk to it than most. I am also worried about when all of the people within my will have both jabs since we are all in different groups of priority. Although I did get tested a while ago and I don't have it so that's a plus but it was only because the college suggested it since it keeps spreading there and it is painful that this is happening in multiple schools and colleges but we keep getting sent back which is unnerving because I am not convinced it is safe at all currently or will be for a while. Just been stressed to be honest.

I've felt sick for most of the day and was pretty freaked out when I couldn't smell anything besides copper this morning and then couldn't taste my Diet Pepsi but I seemed to be fine after eating breakfast so I have no actual idea what that was about but I'm glad I seem to better then I started the day.

Pretty good I guess. Today I sat in a car for 6 hours which wasn't exactly fun but it was to see my grandmother. There was a lottttt of bulls*** paper work we had to fill out beforehand to allow us to leave the country to see her. Luckily a family member on palliative care is a valid reason and as long as we didn't stay for longer than like 16 hours it was okay. She's pretty thin and has almost no energy but still had a nice visit and just talked I guess for a couple hours. I'll be honest it'll probably be the last time I saw her but I don't mind. I'd rather it go like it did today than doing some goodbye visit or something.

After the ride back home we picked up my dog from my friends house where he stayed at today. He was so happy to see me so that raised my spirits to the maximum instantly. We also got fries from the fry bar! I did kind of get really tired around 9.30 PM and have been sleeping up until now pretty much.

So I'm doing good at the end of the day.

I am feeling okay today, doing pretty good, looking forward to dinner although it is funny because I can't remember exactly what it was again I think it was something along the lines of pork and apples never tried it before from what I can remember but it sounds like it might be really nice. I hope it will at least.

I feel a lot better compared to yesterday which is good because I'm trying to post a ton today after all I wouldn't say I feel back to 100% but I feel good enough to not really be hindered by feeling somewhat sick.

Right now I'm not doing too well because of my schedule for tomorrow. It's going to be my first time working on a Monday in nearly two years and it's also my first day of class, which is something that I'm worried about. One of my professors sent us around 100 pages of notes and news articles to read over the break and it stressed me out a lot. Plus I'm kind of scared about how to get through another semester from home, which is something that hurt a lot last year.

Currently I am doing rather well just a bit annoyed that work experience is going to drag on for a little longer than I had originally thought it would but at least I have more free time for today but it sucks because normally tomorrow would be my day off but now I guess it isn't anymore.

I'm not doing well, sincerely. I'm at my physical limit because I've forced myself too much basically during this whole year, taking care of my girlfriend and enduring constant changes about habits, sleep and more. My body is demanding the bi-monthly medication urgently, and luckily it's only five more days until I get it.

I'm also feeling down because of my girlfriend. During this month of February she's been living on her cloud of narcissism, and while it was tolerable at first and she even showed genuine regret at being selfish and egotistical, things escalated during this week. She kept pressuring me to go see her despite my physical limitations and she totally disregarded her own well-being by not attending her orthopedic, even doubting I had sent her his contact info (she had her phone stolen one week ago).

I hate being reminded of my physical limitations not allowing me to live life as I'd like, I hate being ignored when I say "No means No", and I hate that people disregard their own well-being because others don't have the privilege of being healthy or their health issues aren't temporary because of a surgery. If all of this happens in the span of a few hours, it's only normal you become fed up, and so I silenced her until March rolls by and see if she comes down from that cloud where nobody but her has space.

I fear I might return to be my old self because of this, closed to everything and living a solitary day-to-day, but I think I'm above this. It's just a temporary fix, once I get my medication everything should start going uphill again. Until then, I'll try to activate myself with some videogames and writing a bit, and maybe I'll get to do some recordings if I can.

I am somewhat stressed out.

I have to complete weekly exams for my job until this August. I have to travel back and forth from Oregon to California, and visa-versa.

Anyway, it will further my career, so maybe I'm not that concerned.