Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Remove Ad, Sign Up
Register to Remove Ad
Register to Remove Ad
Signup for Free!
-More Features-
-Far Less Ads-
About   Users   Help
Users & Guests Online
On Page: 1
Directory: 105
Entire Site: 8 & 1244
Page Staff: pennylessz, pokemon x, Barathemos, tgags123, alexanyways, supercool22, RavusRat,
03-28-24 05:23 PM

Thread Information

Views
1,782
Replies
17
Rating
4
Status
CLOSED
Thread
Creator
xxeliza321xx
11-09-17 12:14 PM
Last
Post
PixelBrick
05-30-18 06:03 PM
Additional Thread Details
Views: 1,401
Today: 0
Users: 75 unique
Last User View
08-14-21
Patrick Star

Thread Actions

Thread Closed
New Thread
New Poll
Order
 

Was I in the wrong for asking her out twice?

 

11-09-17 12:14 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1349879 | 178 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 500/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
I had a crush on someone who I am trying to get over now. I had to text her because it wasn’t possible to see her in person. First time I asked her if she wanted to get coffee or lunch and catch up sometime and she said she was busy with midterms, which ok, I got. She didn’t directly say no but that it would be hard for her because of midterms.

Then I asked her the same thing three weeks later (a couple of days ago now), thinking midterms are over & finals are in December (I’m not in school anymore, bur she’s a PHD) and no response even though she read my text.

I know about getting over her now and not thinking too much about this, but I was just wondering if it was honestly a mistake to have asked her twice since she didn’t reply the second time. I won’t text her again unless she texts me. Just asking if there is a lesson to be learned from this for the next gal.
I had a crush on someone who I am trying to get over now. I had to text her because it wasn’t possible to see her in person. First time I asked her if she wanted to get coffee or lunch and catch up sometime and she said she was busy with midterms, which ok, I got. She didn’t directly say no but that it would be hard for her because of midterms.

Then I asked her the same thing three weeks later (a couple of days ago now), thinking midterms are over & finals are in December (I’m not in school anymore, bur she’s a PHD) and no response even though she read my text.

I know about getting over her now and not thinking too much about this, but I was just wondering if it was honestly a mistake to have asked her twice since she didn’t reply the second time. I won’t text her again unless she texts me. Just asking if there is a lesson to be learned from this for the next gal.
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

11-09-17 07:37 PM
ThreeLittleBirds is Offline
| ID: 1349884 | 46 Words

Level: 16


POSTS: 44/51
POST EXP: 3444
LVL EXP: 17663
CP: 148.0
VIZ: 13607

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
It's never wrong to follow your heart.

Never.

Sometimes, people just don't have the same thing on their hearts, and that sounds like what happened here.

Usually, someone with interest will find a way to make you feel like you are important to them.

I'm sorry.
It's never wrong to follow your heart.

Never.

Sometimes, people just don't have the same thing on their hearts, and that sounds like what happened here.

Usually, someone with interest will find a way to make you feel like you are important to them.

I'm sorry.
Member
Don't worry about a thing, 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-19-17
Location: Wherever you want
Last Post: 2325 days
Last Active: 2305 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

11-10-17 08:11 AM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1349889 | 14 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 501/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Don’t be sorry! Thanks for your answer! I deleted her number and emails yesterday.
Don’t be sorry! Thanks for your answer! I deleted her number and emails yesterday.
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

11-28-17 09:10 PM
Postman3 is Offline
| ID: 1350086 | 138 Words

Postman3
Level: 46


POSTS: 445/447
POST EXP: 115514
LVL EXP: 676289
CP: 10646.0
VIZ: 245385

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
  It is always a mistake to ask someone for such a thing by text. It's highly impersonal. Meeting someone congenially is highly personal. There is an obvious status conflict between the interaction you chose and the interaction you want.

 Texting it was not even the first mistake. It couldn't have been. If someone was gasping with excitement every time they got correspondences from you, even a flimsy, impersonal text might pass mettle.

 Do you know how to flirt? Would you recognize it if someone was flirting with you?

 I am not entirely sure the instant crushes you keep having are being communicated to the subjects of your feelings. There are actually improvement courses you can take to work specifically on flirting. Get that point across that you like them that way is the main goal for communicating.

 P3
  It is always a mistake to ask someone for such a thing by text. It's highly impersonal. Meeting someone congenially is highly personal. There is an obvious status conflict between the interaction you chose and the interaction you want.

 Texting it was not even the first mistake. It couldn't have been. If someone was gasping with excitement every time they got correspondences from you, even a flimsy, impersonal text might pass mettle.

 Do you know how to flirt? Would you recognize it if someone was flirting with you?

 I am not entirely sure the instant crushes you keep having are being communicated to the subjects of your feelings. There are actually improvement courses you can take to work specifically on flirting. Get that point across that you like them that way is the main goal for communicating.

 P3
Vizzed Elite
Sir Postman


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-21-10
Location: Avalon
Last Post: 2249 days
Last Active: 5 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

11-29-17 02:44 AM
Verkudara is Offline
| ID: 1350088 | 11 Words

Verkudara
skrt-lord
Level: 44


POSTS: 507/512
POST EXP: 29855
LVL EXP: 599819
CP: 1206.8
VIZ: 43529

Likes: 1  Dislikes: 0
Postman i cannot understand a thing that u typed my g
Postman i cannot understand a thing that u typed my g
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 11-25-16
Location: Traphouse
Last Post: 978 days
Last Active: 957 days

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: jnisol,

11-29-17 05:44 AM
Ghostbear1111 is Offline
| ID: 1350090 | 214 Words

Ghostbear1111
Level: 66


POSTS: 1128/1219
POST EXP: 190564
LVL EXP: 2366566
CP: 6638.7
VIZ: 557079

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
You weren't wrong to ask two times.  If someone says they're busy or they have important events coming up, they're not exactly shutting you down.

BUT.... if they wanted to date you or see you or hang out, they'd find a way to do it no matter what's happening, outside a planned trip in another country.  I was going through a rough work period not long ago and my good friend wanted to get some beers because she was having a rough time in life too.  We ended up meeting at a bar for a few hours so we could dump our troubles on each other.  We made time because we wanted to see each other.

If she's not going to make time, she's not interested.  But because she didn't say, "I'm not interested," you could go a second time and ask.

Unlucky.  That's all.

The only lesson here is to take time to develop relationships with people before you really try to make a move.  Crushes don't respond well because they don't know you and don't understand what you're aiming at.  Talk to them more socially, without the hint of romance, and gauge their interest in you as well before you make a move.

There's no formal training.  It's hard but keep looking.
You weren't wrong to ask two times.  If someone says they're busy or they have important events coming up, they're not exactly shutting you down.

BUT.... if they wanted to date you or see you or hang out, they'd find a way to do it no matter what's happening, outside a planned trip in another country.  I was going through a rough work period not long ago and my good friend wanted to get some beers because she was having a rough time in life too.  We ended up meeting at a bar for a few hours so we could dump our troubles on each other.  We made time because we wanted to see each other.

If she's not going to make time, she's not interested.  But because she didn't say, "I'm not interested," you could go a second time and ask.

Unlucky.  That's all.

The only lesson here is to take time to develop relationships with people before you really try to make a move.  Crushes don't respond well because they don't know you and don't understand what you're aiming at.  Talk to them more socially, without the hint of romance, and gauge their interest in you as well before you make a move.

There's no formal training.  It's hard but keep looking.
Trusted Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 10-10-15
Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan
Last Post: 2173 days
Last Active: 2029 days

11-30-17 01:14 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1350109 | 81 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 502/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Thanks, but the thing is, I didn't really want to come off too strong at first because I didn't know if she identified as LGBT like I do. That's why I was asking to get coffee or lunch with her - so I could have gotten to know her more first and tried to figure out if she was LGBT or straight before flirting with her so I wouldn't embarrass myself if she was straight, but oh well, what happened, happened.
Thanks, but the thing is, I didn't really want to come off too strong at first because I didn't know if she identified as LGBT like I do. That's why I was asking to get coffee or lunch with her - so I could have gotten to know her more first and tried to figure out if she was LGBT or straight before flirting with her so I wouldn't embarrass myself if she was straight, but oh well, what happened, happened.
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

11-30-17 01:16 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1350110 | 19 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 503/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Thank you. That is why I deleted her number - she just never responded. And thank you, lesson learned!
Thank you. That is why I deleted her number - she just never responded. And thank you, lesson learned!
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

11-30-17 10:35 PM
Postman3 is Offline
| ID: 1350126 | 295 Words

Postman3
Level: 46


POSTS: 446/447
POST EXP: 115514
LVL EXP: 676289
CP: 10646.0
VIZ: 245385

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
  That's the true beauty of being female. You can say that you like women to loads of people and no one will freak. Women are seldom seen as the predators men can be. Even when women do have a history of predation and that is known to all present, the benefit of the doubt is usually tendered unconditionally. Judicial professionals get special training to cure that bias.

 Be up front about your preferences. Not something that everyone needs to know[it is your personal life, after all]. When you decide you really like someone with no Y-chromosome, that preference ought to become the very next thing they learn about you - immediately before asking without demanding anything or giving creepy-too-interested-eyes, if they might like you that way. Do not emphasize your needs or even a need to know her answer. Keep your voice soft and aim for sympathy. Even if they say nothing or just a no, don't be upset.

 Most importantly, do not drop away from friends and acquaintances you were interested in because they did not share your amorous interest. A network is your social arsenal. Keep in touch with people who say no but remain friendly. Dropping them the very moment they indicate no interest is terrible form. The best you can do is to respond calmly and congenially.

 I would have no friends if I adopted an aversion to everyone who had not wanted a romantic relationship with me. Keep being nice. The second they say no to you is the point from which they learn who you really are. So be who you have been. Consistent. You stop being nice after hearing no and they will see a second face reform under your brow. Be a single personality human being.

  P3
  That's the true beauty of being female. You can say that you like women to loads of people and no one will freak. Women are seldom seen as the predators men can be. Even when women do have a history of predation and that is known to all present, the benefit of the doubt is usually tendered unconditionally. Judicial professionals get special training to cure that bias.

 Be up front about your preferences. Not something that everyone needs to know[it is your personal life, after all]. When you decide you really like someone with no Y-chromosome, that preference ought to become the very next thing they learn about you - immediately before asking without demanding anything or giving creepy-too-interested-eyes, if they might like you that way. Do not emphasize your needs or even a need to know her answer. Keep your voice soft and aim for sympathy. Even if they say nothing or just a no, don't be upset.

 Most importantly, do not drop away from friends and acquaintances you were interested in because they did not share your amorous interest. A network is your social arsenal. Keep in touch with people who say no but remain friendly. Dropping them the very moment they indicate no interest is terrible form. The best you can do is to respond calmly and congenially.

 I would have no friends if I adopted an aversion to everyone who had not wanted a romantic relationship with me. Keep being nice. The second they say no to you is the point from which they learn who you really are. So be who you have been. Consistent. You stop being nice after hearing no and they will see a second face reform under your brow. Be a single personality human being.

  P3
Vizzed Elite
Sir Postman


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 03-21-10
Location: Avalon
Last Post: 2249 days
Last Active: 5 days

12-25-17 05:01 PM
Oldschool777 is Offline
| ID: 1350555 | 30 Words

Oldschool777
Level: 87


POSTS: 1997/2008
POST EXP: 124202
LVL EXP: 6252787
CP: 5429.6
VIZ: 158246

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
You were right in asking twice. You wanted a direct answer and she would not give you a direct answer. Now you know that she does not want a date.
You were right in asking twice. You wanted a direct answer and she would not give you a direct answer. Now you know that she does not want a date.
Member
Bite me...


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-07-11
Last Post: 2220 days
Last Active: 2158 days

02-11-18 05:08 PM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1352039 | 43 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 511/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Thank you. I asked a seocnd time because as mentioned earlier, she didn’t give me a direct answer the first time & I wasn’t too clear about what her intentions were.

Its a rough ride getting over her, but I’m holding on tight!
Thank you. I asked a seocnd time because as mentioned earlier, she didn’t give me a direct answer the first time & I wasn’t too clear about what her intentions were.

Its a rough ride getting over her, but I’m holding on tight!
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

02-11-18 07:36 PM
Boured is Offline
| ID: 1352047 | 57 Words

Boured
18mlivingston
DanceDanceRevolution7
Level: 89


POSTS: 1700/2179
POST EXP: 104277
LVL EXP: 6666806
CP: 9300.3
VIZ: 1380728

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
It happens, even if you lose out with her there are other people out there. Take it from a guy who went through 4 relationships. I just keep my head held high and keep on going and making people happy.

Don't be discouraged, the moment you lock your heart away is the moment you'll be alone forever.
It happens, even if you lose out with her there are other people out there. Take it from a guy who went through 4 relationships. I just keep my head held high and keep on going and making people happy.

Don't be discouraged, the moment you lock your heart away is the moment you'll be alone forever.
Vizzed Elite
Former Admin
The Guildmaster


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-23-12
Location: My Laptop
Last Post: 918 days
Last Active: 334 days

02-13-18 10:36 AM
xxeliza321xx is Offline
| ID: 1352070 | 3 Words

xxeliza321xx
Level: 47


POSTS: 512/517
POST EXP: 37504
LVL EXP: 739264
CP: 1581.5
VIZ: 145754

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Aw thank you!
Aw thank you!
Member

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 05-30-13
Location: NYC
Last Post: 321 days
Last Active: 312 days

05-09-18 10:59 AM
ProbablyNotAPear is Offline
| ID: 1353630 | 48 Words

Level: 5


POSTS: 3/4
POST EXP: 1574
LVL EXP: 392
CP: 205.7
VIZ: 15771

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Definitely take note of what Boured said, you're probably a great person and I'm sure it'll only bother you if you let it. Try to take your mind off it and I'm sure you'll find someone that you'll fall in love with just as much if not more.
Definitely take note of what Boured said, you're probably a great person and I'm sure it'll only bother you if you let it. Try to take your mind off it and I'm sure you'll find someone that you'll fall in love with just as much if not more.
Member
Fruity~


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-28-17
Last Post: 2137 days
Last Active: 44 days

05-14-18 02:50 PM
greenluigi is Offline
| ID: 1353731 | 171 Words

greenluigi
Level: 100


POSTS: 2895/2965
POST EXP: 265759
LVL EXP: 10111082
CP: 9649.8
VIZ: 144174

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
You weren't wrong at all. First time when you texted her she told you she had her midterms, so you gave her as a result a good amount of space for her to study (3 weeks). Thinking she's finished you texted her back, but she did not answer. I guess she must be busy with other things? Such as family or I don't know. If you want, call her to ask about her if she did well, and how's her life in general. Do you two get along well? Like are you guys already friends? If that's the case then don't hesitate on calling her, even if you're just acquaintances: it is never wrong to ask about a person.

if she says again that she is busy then go do something else, don't pursue her behind her back a lot. If I had a friend that would constantly say no to me I'd just see another friend or do something else. Always distract your brain by doing something. Hope I helped!
You weren't wrong at all. First time when you texted her she told you she had her midterms, so you gave her as a result a good amount of space for her to study (3 weeks). Thinking she's finished you texted her back, but she did not answer. I guess she must be busy with other things? Such as family or I don't know. If you want, call her to ask about her if she did well, and how's her life in general. Do you two get along well? Like are you guys already friends? If that's the case then don't hesitate on calling her, even if you're just acquaintances: it is never wrong to ask about a person.

if she says again that she is busy then go do something else, don't pursue her behind her back a lot. If I had a friend that would constantly say no to me I'd just see another friend or do something else. Always distract your brain by doing something. Hope I helped!
Trusted Member
Mitsuhirato


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-02-13
Location: non
Last Post: 437 days
Last Active: 17 days

05-14-18 05:35 PM
Divine Aurora is Offline
| ID: 1353734 | 38 Words

Divine Aurora
Level: 90


POSTS: 2127/2334
POST EXP: 191444
LVL EXP: 7072401
CP: 12193.7
VIZ: 504429

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Nope you werent wrong at all for asking her out twice. Sometimes you have to be persistent but you just dont want to be over baring and make her feel uncomfortable or come across as annoying or desperate. 
Nope you werent wrong at all for asking her out twice. Sometimes you have to be persistent but you just dont want to be over baring and make her feel uncomfortable or come across as annoying or desperate. 
Vizzed Elite


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 06-20-13
Last Post: 191 days
Last Active: 172 days

05-17-18 10:58 PM
IgorBird122 is Offline
| ID: 1353820 | 125 Words

IgorBird122
The_IB122
Level: 140


POSTS: 5642/6414
POST EXP: 526201
LVL EXP: 32882492
CP: 40905.1
VIZ: 779500

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Normally I'm not really good on getting and keeping relationships with anyone because any relationships I get only last like a week or less.

take it, I went through like 12 successful attempts at relationships, but these relationships last anywhere between a week like I mention to even an hour, then after 12, I decided that it's too hard to even have any kind of relationships and might as well stay single for the rest of my life, and some people thinks that's bad to be single, but like I give a you know what.

Not saying that you should give up after the 12th attempts and realize that your relationship life is going down the toilet, just keep going, whatever works best for you.
Normally I'm not really good on getting and keeping relationships with anyone because any relationships I get only last like a week or less.

take it, I went through like 12 successful attempts at relationships, but these relationships last anywhere between a week like I mention to even an hour, then after 12, I decided that it's too hard to even have any kind of relationships and might as well stay single for the rest of my life, and some people thinks that's bad to be single, but like I give a you know what.

Not saying that you should give up after the 12th attempts and realize that your relationship life is going down the toilet, just keep going, whatever works best for you.
Vizzed Elite
The Shadow King


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 01-07-13
Location: The Big Easy
Last Post: 1450 days
Last Active: 1435 days

05-30-18 06:03 PM
PixelBrick is Offline
| ID: 1354068 | 162 Words

PixelBrick
Level: 95


POSTS: 2586/2625
POST EXP: 172950
LVL EXP: 8419369
CP: 7061.0
VIZ: 50024

Likes: 0  Dislikes: 0
Not to be the blunt force of this thread, but I'm thankful that you cut off contact with her. She clearly was less interested and committed than you were to establishing a relationship (Bravo on you for being courteous and asking her again after midterms!). I know many friends that get hung up on one lady and refuse admitting, "Hey man, maybe she's just not into me". 

There's a lot for me to conceptualize, since you know infinitely more about your situation than I do. greenluigi brought up some good questions to ponder, like how your relationship really was with this gal. Though this may be a more cynical perspective, I respectfully disagree with his idea that she may have been too busy to read the text. Likelihood is that she just wasn't interested, man. But OP, your courtesy will likely swoon a future crush, so keep at it and don't give up. Shoot us an update, if you feel so inclined!
Not to be the blunt force of this thread, but I'm thankful that you cut off contact with her. She clearly was less interested and committed than you were to establishing a relationship (Bravo on you for being courteous and asking her again after midterms!). I know many friends that get hung up on one lady and refuse admitting, "Hey man, maybe she's just not into me". 

There's a lot for me to conceptualize, since you know infinitely more about your situation than I do. greenluigi brought up some good questions to ponder, like how your relationship really was with this gal. Though this may be a more cynical perspective, I respectfully disagree with his idea that she may have been too busy to read the text. Likelihood is that she just wasn't interested, man. But OP, your courtesy will likely swoon a future crush, so keep at it and don't give up. Shoot us an update, if you feel so inclined!
Trusted Member
Here's looking at you, kid


Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 07-05-13
Location: MGM Vault
Last Post: 2056 days
Last Active: 1910 days

(edited by PixelBrick on 05-30-18 06:04 PM)    

Links

Page Comments


This page has no comments

Adblocker detected!

Vizzed.com is very expensive to keep alive! The Ads pay for the servers.

Vizzed has 3 TB worth of games and 1 TB worth of music.  This site is free to use but the ads barely pay for the monthly server fees.  If too many more people use ad block, the site cannot survive.

We prioritize the community over the site profits.  This is why we avoid using annoying (but high paying) ads like most other sites which include popups, obnoxious sounds and animations, malware, and other forms of intrusiveness.  We'll do our part to never resort to these types of ads, please do your part by helping support this site by adding Vizzed.com to your ad blocking whitelist.

×