You called it SHAQ Fu?
Well, THIS game... it's HORRIBLE. By far worse than E.T. on Atari, and probably not worse than Superman 64... but not as bad as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (I'm taking James's word for it...) This is... Shaq Fu. (my stomach feels more and more queasy every time I say that...)
--- The story of Shaq and Mr. Beardy-McBeard-Beard ---
So, the story goes something like this: Shaq is walking around, you know, just gettin' some excersize for his game. Then he goes into a Chinese shop for whatever reason. The worker there, Mr. Beardy-beard-beard, tells Shaq to go into this door to save some weirdo from the loony bin. So you walk around, and you see something like Monster's Ruins. So the natural SNES thing to do is press B. No? How about Y? Maybe X or A? No, you press Start. Now, that's not TOO bad... not as bad as the grappling hook from Batman Returns... that's probably going to be my next review (unfortunately). So, you get into your first fight, and you learn that the controls are HORRIBLE. You keep jumping around, missing hits, not attacking and just... a horrible experience.
--- Looking for a GOOD part of the game... there isn't one ---
So, you just lose. You're like Superman in Superman 64, you never win, Lex does. I wouldn't be surprised if Lex was the final boss. Speaking of that, has anyone ever beaten this game 100%? If you have, tell me. Gosh, you're always jumping around, missing your enemy. How fitting, Shaq is a basketball player. Jump! Jump! Jump! *song from DDR: Mario Mix starts playing* ...Well, at least it's a good song. A lot better than the music for this game. It seems to be a bad take on rap... that's very kind. 2 hours later... come ON! ENOUGH WITH JUMPING AROUND, MISSING WITH ATTACKS, ALWAYS LOSING TO THE CPU... I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER! Just let play Superman 64... and E.T. and... NO! I WANNA PLAY SUPER MARIO GALAXY AND OCARINA OF TIME AND PIKMIN 2!!! Okay... that came out... let's get back to... Shaq Fu. *sheds a tear*. So... did I explain HOW the controls are horrible? You press up to jump, A, B, X,and Y to attack. If you could possibly defeat an enemy (which takes a tear-giving HOUR of experience) what happens? Oh, nothing, just the next impossible foe. You know, there aren't very many enemies. There's only 12. I would have liked a bit more variety. Super Mario RPG was on the same system, and it had about 100 diffrent enemies. But wait... that game was good. Great, acutally.
--- To conclude this
wonderfully brilliant crappy game ---
Man. I can't bear playing the game so bad, I'm talking about lots of good games instead. About an hour later... I miss Mr. Beardy-McBeard-Beard. Him and his nonsense about the second world. Did I mention that? The game takes place in the second world. So Earth must be the first world, and... weird desert land with wierd creatures that each own thier own collisium. Okay, enough with this game, next review will be Batman Returns! See you guys then!
Graphics 4 Sound 1 Addictive 2 Depth 2 Story 1 Difficulty 10
Shaq Fu Box Description: As Shaw, use your lightning-fast shuriken and other martial mart techniques to prevail over 6 intensely evil warriors in the enforcement of justice. Or choose any of the 7 warriors and fight head to head. Summon Voodoo's bone shattering earthquake, rebound with Rajah's shockwave sword or lash out with Sett's terrifying mummy wrap. Scores of secret power moves to discover and master.
Shaq Fu Description: While en route to a charity game in Tokyo, basketball star Shaquille O'Neill (called "Shaq" for short) is drawn into an alternate dimension by a local man who believes only Shaq can save his grandson. Once there, he must fight a succession of 11 opponents, one at a time, with gameplay resembling Street Fighter 2 or Mortal Kombat.
The game's graphics used similar rotoscoping techniques (similar to those used in Flashback or Prince of Persia) making Shaq's 7'2" frame is represented. As well as the story mode, the player can play individual fights, either with 1 or 2 players, although one human player must always be Shaq. Shaq can jump a huge distance, although he struggles to block.