Love is but a blissful dream. Many contain unrequited love, but are too shy to confess their feelings for days or months at a given time. Others have the courage to say how they feel to that special someone, but they get rejected or told to "just be friends". Love is normally a wonderful thing, and leads to a lifetime filled with admiration and appreciation. However, at times, some only "love" others for superficial reasons, such as their money or looks. That is very sad, but sometimes true. I've never really fell in love, because my shallow view of others has made me believe that no girl would want me. I might be wrong, but who knows when I'll get lucky someday?

Have you ever fallen in love? Did you confess or keep quiet? Did you succeed or get rejected? Did you stop loving that person? Thank you for being so friendly. 

Depends on how you define it.

The way I would define it, no I have never fallen in love. I've had big crushes and have even been in a relationship, but I've never actually fallen in love with someone.

I have fallen in love.

I met a girl who was dating a cook at my job when I was 17. She was pretty enough but I was into her friend, who was a volleyball player in high school. Friend was 5'11, I'm 5'6 (and change). We doubled-dated a few times and it didn't work so much with the friend but girl #1 decided she liked me more than her boyfriend.

She dumped him, she asked me out, I ended up quitting my job because he found out.

Fast forward a year.

I go to Parris Island, South Carolina, for Marine Corps boot camp. I'm gone three months but I get a letter a day, every day, from her. I write her back. We've already been dating each other, our families like each other for the most part. I go off and see the world. She goes to college.

Fast forward another two years. I'm home when I can be home and she's at college, partying, studying, learning, doing things. It all just works well. We have the same beliefs in the importance of family, we have the same aspirations and goals for careers, we value athleticism and intelligence, and neither of us really looks at other people. Well, we look at other people but we don't do anything about it. Her friends tell me how lucky I am that she's never accidentally made out with other guys at parties at school. My Marines tell her she's lucky because I never went to the brothels or met up with on-base girls.

And then I got out, we got married within a month, we moved to Boston, and then Hawai'i and never looked back. We have two kids now and recently passed ten years of marriage, 17 years of being together.

Being in love takes courage but I don't understand the people that guard their hearts with enthusiasm. Okay, you've been hurt before, maybe, but it seems like taking a bite of one bad apple means you never try fruit again? That doesn't make sense to me. I love my wife, more than anyone, and I always will. Call it luck, call it positive mental attitude, call it whatever you want. We have each other and I wouldn't trade it for anything.


Ultrajeff : I don't think it's the shallow view of others that makes you believe no girl wants you. It's the introspection. No girl wants a guy who doesn't even want himself. Want yourself, believe in yourself, trust yourself, and others will see you that way. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will either. It may not be that way with you but that's just an unsolicited observation.

I've fallen in love like a lot of times. But that was basically because my crush was leaving or i was leaving her. The first moment of my life when i actually had feelings for someone? That would be in 2012, on my first middle school. I was 12 and a half back then and fell in love with a beautiful girl who was 1 month older than i am. (Yes, i still find her beautiful but i'm not in love with her anymore) But once we all went a year up (In the Netherlands are years, in America grades) and i went to another school. And i fell in love quite a lot. Some reasons were obvious, some were... Never mind. But currently, i know no one in real life of who i love. I only have one friend and that's a boy.

Ghostbear1111 :  

Congrats for 10 years! (If i'm not too late)

I've had a few crushes, but that never blossomed into much more. I wish I had acted better, asked more girls on dates, tried to find that girl that I could care for and would care for me forever and ever before now. Now it's even harder than before. But I still have hope. I hope to get back into the scene and find a good woman.

I think so....

I've been in love twice if I'm totally honest. I had a high school girlfriend for 2-ish years and my wife now. I've liked other girls and dated a few here and there when I was younger but I wouldn't say I was in love with any of them.

I think sometimes we make the mistake of using the word love only for those who we're romantically interested in. While the romantic kind of love may not be something we all have found, I would like to posit that as long as you have even 1 good friend, someone who you'd do anything for, who you care about, someone who you can't wait to talk to or hang out with, someone who makes you happy when you see them, then you have found love.

Sometimes we just need to stop focusing so much on the romantic love, because it can be tough to find, and it can be depressing. I guarantee almost all of us have found love and we need to remember that.

I've had several crushes but they've only lasted and developed into me falling in love twice I would say. The first one was this girl from my class, we had attended the same school since 1st grade but been in the same class since 4th. I started developing a crush on her in 5th and since the school we attended only had up to 5th grade we both had to switch schools. In 6th grade we ended up going to the same school and same class. It was at this point I got to know her a bit better and found out we had a lot in common, we both liked watching anime, had a similar sarcastic sense of humor and we were both doing really well in school. Unfortunately 6th grade was a horrible time for me. I was being bullied by most people in my class (not her though) and that really had an effect on me. I became very depressed to the point where I was suicidal for a while and had extremely low self esteem. As the year went on my crush had developed into falling in love with her but of course I didn't tell her, it would be hard enough for me to tell someone now but especially at that point because I figured I had no chance. Looking back at it I probably didn't either lol.

Anyway I switched schools the year after and I think she did as well. A few years passed and I was no longer being bullied. I wasn't depressed, actually had a few friends and was starting to get my self esteem back. I figured after I stopped going to that school I'd forget about her but I hadn't. The feelings lingered and I felt it was reaching a boiling point. I couldn't stand keeping it to myself and my best friend at the time, encouraged me to confess so I did... On facebook. She didn't share the feelings of course and was already seeing someone else as it turned out. After that I was a bit sad for a while but I still felt good about it. It felt like a huge load had been taken off my chest and my feelings for her gradually became less and less until I finally felt like I wasn't in love anymore. Looking back at when I was being bullied, I kind of wish I'd had more courage to where I'd confessed I would've likely been rejected but it could have allowed me to get over it much faster.

The second, well a lot of regulars probably know about it. I won't go too much into detail out of respect for that person, but there was someone on vizzed I fell in love with. Back when I was seriously competing in the summer TdV I was spending the whole day infront of my laptop and we had started talking before then. This eventually evolved and during the duration of the TdV we were talking almost every day for several hours. I'd already had a crush on her but pushed it aside, at that point though I fell in love. I didn't think I had a chance but for a few days I was seriously debating in my head whether to tell her or not, afraid she'd want to cut ties with me and that I'd regret it. Turns out she felt the same way and had the same internal struggle, she had even been hinting at her feeling that way, me being completely oblivious to that of course. It all culminated in us both confessing in a conversation.

After that we started a relationship, we took a short break after a while because at first we were both unsure if we were ready but then we got back into a relationship. It lasted almost half a year until it finally ended. Maintaining the relationship was taking its toll on me because there was a 7-8 hour timezone difference between us which meant I had to stay up at night to talk her. That wasn't a problem during the summer when I didn't have any responsibilities and we could both be on all day, but it was during the school year. Basically meaning I never got enough sleep  often only getting 4-5 hours or sometimes even pulling all nighters, and I was always tired in school to the point where I couldn't pay attention in class. Most of my energy went towards simply not trying to fall asleep. I finally realized this wasn't going to work after thinking about it through the course of the relationsip, so after the first term was over I ended it. Aside from that maintaining a long distance relationship for several more years was hard enough. I think we were growing apart a bit as well, having been a bit eager to get into the relationship simply because we were both afraid of being alone. I still talk to her and we're back to being good friends. Overall I'd say it was a good experience since I'd never had a serious relationship of any sort up until that point and I feel like it helped me grow more as a person. Luckily I managed to make up for most of the lost time of school the next term through much cramming and a continued lack of sleep lol.

Ever since then I haven't fell in love with someone or even had a crush. Which feels equally and boring and relieving at the same time. It's a bit envious now when I see people all around me getting into relationships not to experience that feeling. At the same time I'm glad that I don't spend hours on end obsessing about it, thinking I have no chance with someone and more or less feeling mentally tortured. That way I can spend that time pursuing all the other things that interest or is of concern to me. Maybe in a year or two when I'm hopefully a lot closer to where I want to be in life I'll think more about it.

pterifractal : You are right, there are different forms of love, its just that the most thought of when thinking on the definition or just the way you use the word love, most think of romantic love However, the first post/thread maker pretty much just talking about that kind of love, so you can only assume thats how the responses are going to look.

The definition of love is too clouded and too illogical for me to exactly determine if I have or not, but in the most traditional sense, no. There's people I care about deeply and would sacrifice a lot for, but I can't say I've ever had the desire to be their boyfriend or anything along the lines of that

I like to do everything for people and I also like it when they don't get attached. It's easier on me since there's less consequence of falling short, and I can also easily leave behind what I know for a second start at life

Basically I like the idea of my future being free and not having obligations because of relationships and the feelings of others. I have many plans, and I'd rather them not need to be changed because of relationships.

I'm aware this is selfish, but if I can accept what they want and deal with it, then I would hope they could do the same in return.

As far as sexual attraction goes, no. Never. I find it mundane and otherwise entirely useless aside from reproductive uses and I have no interest in it, at least for a good few years once I accomplish what I want. Like I said, there's too much obligation and responsibility behind it.

The goal in life is to experience many different things. Marriage and fatherhood is the beginning of the end, even if the end is a happy one. It's like leaving a dungeon for a better life without taking the leftover gold that lies in that one chest at the end of the room. It's best to delay definites until you're certain you're done.

yes and i think this is a strange question to ask on vizzed i have had my heart broke too now i am very happy in my life

Yes I have, with my first Girlfriend. Though she is gone now, I did find another person I've fallen in love with but there is one big problem. She already has a boyfriend.

Already had mine posted on here... <3 I disagree partly with the "having to stop doubting self/not liking one's own self" posted on here as it all depends on the type of couple you both are/how the two of you are individually. If both don't think highly of themselves is more managable as one would expect...is exactly how am with my love. I used to like myself but ever since grew older and older dislike myself more and more (with brother beating me didn't help either, and health causing issues with thoughts...always making me feel like fail in school or other means) Yet, my love and many around me still believe in myself even when at times say there isn't much hope for self. She is the same and I do switch around and say that she is worth everything and even if can't do everything would desire...is still a winning success in my eyes and heart cause she always tries. If is a higher person and a downer person and vice versa then it may lead to issues later down the road in comparison (every relationship/girl/boy is different in their own way even if glaring similarities)

I'll come out to anybody, anyone, any site, any friend, etc...when I say that I still DO NOT think I'm a great person/lover or even believe I really deserve something so great as the woman I'm with now. Know is negative thinking and bad habit, but with all issues I've had especially in past 2 years with health...just don't see why someone would wanna deal with all of that personally? But I'll be damned if I don't try my very best to show my appreciation for getting to be with her amongst all other guys she could choose to pick from via online or in person. Specially since unlike 80-90% of relationships I can't actually walk down the street, hold her hand, look at her, make plans with like many couples would do...since I'm not even in same state as her. Yes, long distance and is something could contribute to my father's side since he married someone out of country (France) while living in California.

I don't know how such a beautiful, very smart, and sweethearted girl would want someone whom besides creative writing/determination/giving nature would have to offer them. I know I fell in love with this woman shortly after meeting her and unlike past relationships knew this is someone could actually connect with and last like very 1st relationship would've had worked out if "incident" hadn't occurred. Everyday I would wake up and try writing for my then position on here....felt like I had an overwhelming power of hope/skill inside me cooking where anything I did felt invigorating, easier, and just more enjoyable than before when was alone. Knew wanted to ask out...but found out was already with someone and again figured why the heck would she want someone as troublesome as myself. The story has already been described below; but, just for candles tip, could see actual reaction with these...


~Like the fall nurturing leaves, landing upon the seasons tanning ground....my heart shall only bloom. For the sun that shines on my days, the love of my life and the soil of my soul. Poke219"~ ................!!!

"somethings happening" .....


(Sonic57's heart was captured by Trainer Pokefreak)

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I have never fallen in love, more or less for the same reasons as you. I'm not a very social person, I haven't met many people and even less became friends with everyone I've met (just a majority, which isn't that bad) so I haven't had the chance to forge a bond beyond friendship.

I do have friends I care for a lot, but I wouldn't say I love them. My definition of love includes "wanting to be with that person at all times", and that is something that doesn't apply to my friends, probably because we don't have many things in common and thus we only meet when our interests are shared. And well, I do care a lot for a few family members as well, and I could even say that some of them fulfill the above condition for love. Still, I haven't found love outside of my family yet.

I did feel a shallow love back in school for the only girl I ever talked to in several years. I say shallow because I was shocked by her looks, and even in my teens she was special to my eyes, but after I fell into the darkest pit and she transferred schools we haven't seen each other in what will soon be 10 years. She's still special to me because I treasure all and each of my friends, but she's not above anybody else now and I also have a much deeper approach towards love since the last time we met.

As in romantic love? HAHA yeah right.
Never even had someone like me before, so there's that.

Many times lol. Sometimes it work, sometimes it didn't. Currently I am 3 months into a relationship as of today, but I don't keep track of anniversaries or make a big deal, and either does my girlfriend. Back in April/June and even July it was a bit rocky on relationships, but I found someone that is just a badass chick, and I care a lot about her.

That's a tricky question.

A few years ago, I'd say yes, and just leave it at that. But that same woman broke my heart, and it's left me questioning what love is anymore, what does it entail, and how can you quantify the experience of being in love?

I "was" in love, so thematically, I qualify, but I'm not sure I believe in the concept of being in love, so much as I believe that among the 8 billion people or however many it is on Earth, that there are a handful of people who are better fits for me than others.

It's not very romantic sounding, but when it comes to the grand concept of what love is, I don't think it makes much sense to let it betray rationality.

In some sense, I guess I could be considered to be in love with who I'm with now? But given how I view love, I'm not sure my idea is the same as yours.

I was in a relationship about 4 years, about 6 years ago we broke up. And I can say that yes I loved her very much, even after the breakup I loved her long time.. Many people say "I love you" too easily without even knowing the true meaning of that sentence. It entails many different feelings so the word "love" is just a name of that pillar of different feelings. When that pillar crumbles it's hard to build a new one, but It's not impossible. Some people waste too much time to find the "true love" It comes if it comes, no need to take so much pressure on it. There are many things you can do without having someone, who shares the joys and sorrows with you. For those who are not sure if what love is, don't use that word if you're not sure the real meaning of it, you might end up just hurting the other if thing backfire.

But anyways, falling in love is one of the best feelings you can have. Hope everybody can have a taste of that wonderful feeling.

EX Palen : It's funny how you say part of your definition of love is wanting to be with that person all the time.

That's not how love goes, trust me. Even after being married ten years and madly in love with my wife, there are plenty of times when she says, "Get the h*ll away from me," or I say, "Okay, I'm going over there now."

We know how to live with each other, we circle back and share our days with each other and we're around each other but we absolutely understand the need to not be near each other too. I can go to the bar and drink and watch sports or she'll go to the bar and drink and then go watch a movie with her friends or coworkers.

The coexisting without being at each other all the time is tough but it's critical to sustaining a relationship. I don't feel at all like we have to be around each other every day all day. That strains things in my perspective.