I feel like I've talked about this too many times, but seeing as I haven't posted in this thread before, I may as well talk about my failures once more. To start off, I've never gotten past the "crush stage" so to speak. I'm 0 and 4, though, with a couple of those crushes, I'm glad they didn't lead to anything. My first crush was when I was 15 on a cute girl who went to the same Church I went to at the time. I honestly didn't know her that well and simply liked her because she was cute. Never got anywhere with her, and I mainly was too stupid and shy to actually say much to her. What I did usually manage to say to her was super dumb and cringe worthy... So yeah, most of the time I had a crush on her was simply spent daydreaming about her and waving across the church at her... Then I found out she had a boyfriend, and that pretty much killed any feelings I had for her. My second crush was about a year after my first one. It was probably the most painful one for me, and it still hurts when I think about how bad it went... She was a good friend of mine on Facebook and, even though we had never met in real life before, our families had been friends for years, so we weren't random strangers who met online or anything like that. We spent a lot of time chatting and getting to know each other and, eventually, feelings started to develop for her. honestly thought she felt the same way about me too for a while, but when she actually did find out about my crush on her, she shot me down saying that she didn't like the idea of a long distance relationship, and that I was too old for her (I was 2 years older...). What hurts the most about this is, after that, we started drifting apart until we simply didn't even talk to each other anymore... It hurt so much that I simply gave up on Facebook and haven't returned since... Even now, seeing Facebook will sometimes stir up those memories and make it feel like there's a knife in my chest... For the longest time, I simply went on with my life and never really got to know any other girls or see anyone who I felt any feelings for. Then, about 5 years after my second crush, it happened again, this time, on a girl who I had recently started working with. I honestly have no idea what I found so appealing about her, but I remember thinking that she was very cute when I first met her. After working with her for a few months, those feelings began to stir up again, but I wasn't too excited about it... Unlike the first crush I had, I got to know this girl a bit better before actually falling for her and, while she was nice and cute...something about her just felt wrong and I would have this feeling of doom if I even thought about a relationship with her. Yet, despite all the warning sirens going off in my head, I was still attracted to her, almost like a moth to a flame...and I knew I would get burned if I got too close. But, eventually, I just came right out and told her how I felt, and she thought I was sweet, but...she already had a boyfriend. This was probably a good thing for me to find out, since it helps to kill feelings when you know the girl you like is with someone else. Today, I still work with her, and my feelings for her have died down, so, at least it wasn't a total disaster. My forth and most recent crush was on a girl I knew on a forum. Unlike the second girl I knew online, this crush was a sort of a random stranger I met... We'd never met in real life, and I only knew her by her user name. But anyway, we were good friends, and we got to know each other through random interactions on the forum, playing games like Minecraft together, and so on. After a while, those feelings would start coming up again, but I honestly didn't want them to be there. It's not that I didn't like her, or I thought she was trouble, or anything like that. The feelings were genuine, but...I never really wanted to attempt an online relationship again after how bad the first one went, and that fear of losing another friend due to stupid feelings was the worst thing imaginable for me. And, to be honest, I knew she didn't share the same feelings I had. So I held back, hoping to keep our friendship alive, but those feelings wouldn't go away, and I felt like I was hurting our friendship more by holding back, so I simply came out and told her how I felt. Her reaction was that she figured as much, but didn't share those feelings. She did, however, still wanted to be friends, and we still are today. My feelings for her are still there to be honest, but I know we're just friends, and that's all we'll be, but I'm happy just being her friend. Okay, that was way longer than it should have been... But anyway, I'm still 0 and 4 when it comes to crushes, but maybe someday that will change...if I can ever find the right girl... I feel like I've talked about this too many times, but seeing as I haven't posted in this thread before, I may as well talk about my failures once more. To start off, I've never gotten past the "crush stage" so to speak. I'm 0 and 4, though, with a couple of those crushes, I'm glad they didn't lead to anything. My first crush was when I was 15 on a cute girl who went to the same Church I went to at the time. I honestly didn't know her that well and simply liked her because she was cute. Never got anywhere with her, and I mainly was too stupid and shy to actually say much to her. What I did usually manage to say to her was super dumb and cringe worthy... So yeah, most of the time I had a crush on her was simply spent daydreaming about her and waving across the church at her... Then I found out she had a boyfriend, and that pretty much killed any feelings I had for her. My second crush was about a year after my first one. It was probably the most painful one for me, and it still hurts when I think about how bad it went... She was a good friend of mine on Facebook and, even though we had never met in real life before, our families had been friends for years, so we weren't random strangers who met online or anything like that. We spent a lot of time chatting and getting to know each other and, eventually, feelings started to develop for her. honestly thought she felt the same way about me too for a while, but when she actually did find out about my crush on her, she shot me down saying that she didn't like the idea of a long distance relationship, and that I was too old for her (I was 2 years older...). What hurts the most about this is, after that, we started drifting apart until we simply didn't even talk to each other anymore... It hurt so much that I simply gave up on Facebook and haven't returned since... Even now, seeing Facebook will sometimes stir up those memories and make it feel like there's a knife in my chest... For the longest time, I simply went on with my life and never really got to know any other girls or see anyone who I felt any feelings for. Then, about 5 years after my second crush, it happened again, this time, on a girl who I had recently started working with. I honestly have no idea what I found so appealing about her, but I remember thinking that she was very cute when I first met her. After working with her for a few months, those feelings began to stir up again, but I wasn't too excited about it... Unlike the first crush I had, I got to know this girl a bit better before actually falling for her and, while she was nice and cute...something about her just felt wrong and I would have this feeling of doom if I even thought about a relationship with her. Yet, despite all the warning sirens going off in my head, I was still attracted to her, almost like a moth to a flame...and I knew I would get burned if I got too close. But, eventually, I just came right out and told her how I felt, and she thought I was sweet, but...she already had a boyfriend. This was probably a good thing for me to find out, since it helps to kill feelings when you know the girl you like is with someone else. Today, I still work with her, and my feelings for her have died down, so, at least it wasn't a total disaster. My forth and most recent crush was on a girl I knew on a forum. Unlike the second girl I knew online, this crush was a sort of a random stranger I met... We'd never met in real life, and I only knew her by her user name. But anyway, we were good friends, and we got to know each other through random interactions on the forum, playing games like Minecraft together, and so on. After a while, those feelings would start coming up again, but I honestly didn't want them to be there. It's not that I didn't like her, or I thought she was trouble, or anything like that. The feelings were genuine, but...I never really wanted to attempt an online relationship again after how bad the first one went, and that fear of losing another friend due to stupid feelings was the worst thing imaginable for me. And, to be honest, I knew she didn't share the same feelings I had. So I held back, hoping to keep our friendship alive, but those feelings wouldn't go away, and I felt like I was hurting our friendship more by holding back, so I simply came out and told her how I felt. Her reaction was that she figured as much, but didn't share those feelings. She did, however, still wanted to be friends, and we still are today. My feelings for her are still there to be honest, but I know we're just friends, and that's all we'll be, but I'm happy just being her friend. Okay, that was way longer than it should have been... But anyway, I'm still 0 and 4 when it comes to crushes, but maybe someday that will change...if I can ever find the right girl... |