Review three of my review-a-thon.

First off, I want to start this review by saying this: This might be one of the weirdest hidden games that I've ever had the honor of playing and reviewing. You'll see exactly why soon.

Second off: I can describe this game with three words: Weird and bizarre.

finally : ...This game was actually made by Taito. What's with all these big-name companies making hidden Japanese arcade games? With that, let's begin the review and delve into how truly odd this game is.

Graphics - 7

The graphics for the normal sprites, such as you and regular enemies, are fine. In fact, they're pretty cute, giving you a false impression that this is just your average beat-em-up game. However, that impression is quickly snatched and thrown out the window at full force when you get to the boss at world two, which is an ice stage. This boss has NOTHING to do with anything winter related.

If you've never played the game before/got that far, it's sort of this head with arms and legs, these horribly unsettling eyes, and a nose that could give Squidward a run for his money.  What's creepier about said nose is that it extends it and uses the nose to bounce around. If you asked for my opinion about what's the strangest thing about this boss, I wouldn't be able to decide.

Things are at the maximum "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" level at world three. Already, you're greeted with strange things such as a photo of a woman holding onto a pole and flapping around like a flag. Now, isn't that just a lovely sight, eh? I'm not even going to begin to describe the Japanese version of this stage. That you'll just have to find out for yourself and see what's there, because I refuse to talk about it.

Sound - 6

The sound is actually pretty good, which I myself wasn't expecting. It was apparently so good that it got released on a CD in Japan - or at least, that's what I heard. I can't really say much about the music - with the exception of the regular boss music being alright. Of course, it's not as good as, say, Penguin Brothers, but it's still alright.

Addictiveness - 10

This game is addictive in a "I don't want to play this anymore but I can't stop for some reason" way. Surprisingly, this game also has a score system. I know, not what you'd expect.

For every enemy you kill, it turns into a little animal, sort of like in Sonic the Hedgehog - or at least in the version that I played. You can pick up or "collect" these animals for points.

Story - 3

The story is peppered with "engrish" phrases, as this game was originally released in Japan. I cannot give this story the justice that it deserves by writing down a summary of it, so the only way that I can speak about it is by directly copy-and-pasting the text from the beginning cutscenes, engrish and all, with some notes by me:

Here is a wonderland called "Radishland"  Was this world populated by radishes or something? In each town, under a keeper's control, the time flow was correctly kept by a time key. If this key is not used, would Radishland have something like timezones or something?

But, a bad man - A bad man?! Was that all they could come up with?! - appeared and stole the time key to stop the time flow. Is there only one time key or are there many keys for many towns?! The towns were attacked one by one, the time flow was stopped and they received damage. I know I'm being harsh, but does this time flow just keep the time going or does it make everyone invincible? WHAT'S EVEN GOING ON?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT LIFE IS ANYMORE!

An old man was impressed with a sense of danger - How impressive. - and he called Zac and Mel. Are those his kids or something? And he trusted them - Great way to start a sentence, by the way. - with his invented magic stick in order to defend their town.

The words that are in italics are personal notes made by me. No, I didn't make up any of the story, that is actually what is told to you in the beginning of the game if you don't insert some credits for a little bit. So now you can sort of understand the story.

Depth - 1

This is your standard beat-em-up game. Not that this game is normal in any way. What I meant by that was that this follows the same routine that a normal beat-em-up game is: You see an enemy? Spam the attack button until it dies! Repeat until you finish the game!

Along with that, you also get to witness the incredibly bizarre things that happen here, such as, in one round, you see the face of a blue-haired girl. She opens her mouth, surprised, and suddenly, the face flies at you! When this first happened to me, I considered turning off the game and just going to sleep for a couple of weeks to forget that ever happened, but of course, I had to go on.

Difficulty - 3

I legitimately played the entire game within the span of only 22 minutes, and only died once in the entire game. The rounds are short, all the enemies - with the exception of the bosses - die in one hit, and the final boss isn't even that hard!

Overall - 5

I honestly can't think of a recommendation for this game, it's so bizarre that half the time I'm left scratching my head as to what I just witnessed. One part of me wants to recommend this to the world because it can be hilarious and the other part is saying that I should warn people about the dangers of this game.

Because I can't recommend it or not, you'll have to decide for yourself, after reading about it. If you want to play this game, fine by me. If you want to stay as far away from it as possible, also fine by me.

Great review... I think.
I just played through this game... it was... disturbing... even for Japanese standards. O.o