A lot of you may have noticed some inactivity from me here on Vizzed lately. I stated earlier that it's because of school coming to a close and finals coming up. This is true, but there are other reasons.

1. School-

As of now, school is going great. I have all A's right now. I haven't had all A's since 5th Grade, so that makes me happy. I'm a Freshman, for those of you who don't know. So in short, I can't really think of any negative things going on at school at the moment.

2. Mom's House (I live here!)

Me and my mom have been getting into more fights recently. I don't know if it's just pure teenage defiance or what. I live with a Christian family. I can't think of any family member that isn't Christian. Besides my uncle, but he left the family, so he doesn't count. I'm an atheist, and they know this. This causes a lot of problems. Mom makes me go to church every Sunday against my will, and I despise it. Sunday mornings usually start off with me in a bad mood because of this. Dad also makes me go to church every Sunday if I was at his house. Not only that, but they also made me go to almost every single event that the youth group went to. Besides this, things at my mom's have been "meh."

3. Website

Another reason I've been slightly inactive on Vizzed lately is because me and a couple of friends (about 1 or 2 of those friends are on Vizzed. You know who you are) are making a website. I won't go fully into detail since it's still in early development, but I happen to be the co-owner of that website, so I'm trying to put a lot of time into it.

4. Dad's House

Oh boy. Here's the big one. So, last week, during school, I was texting my dad, step-mom, and mom, asking for freedom on my phone. They make me have restrictions all around the phone. To get an app, I need a password that only my step-mom knows. This is troubling, because I only see my step-mom every other weekend and almost every Wednesday. So I ask her, "Why not just give the password to my mom, since I see her every day?" I mean, that would be the most logical solution, right?

Ha, no, not to her. She says, "I could, but I won't."

I ask why not? Before I go on with this "rant", I must disclose something to everyone. My Asperger's makes my brain not being able to let things go. I need an answer to something, and I will try my best to get an answer. Whenever an adult says, "because I said so," I can't handle that.

I need a reason. It's how my brain works and I can't change it. So, I ask her why she won't give the password to my mom, and she doesn't give me an answer. I couldn't handle that, so I reminded her that all she needed to do was give me an answer as to why she wouldn't give the password to my mom, so I asked her again.

Yes, I know my parents were at work, but like I said, I need an answer. All she had to do was give an answer and then this argument could stop, but she ignored me.

So, she eventually deactivated my phone while I was at school, which made me furious. So furious, in fact, that if I actually did go to 5th Block that day, (which was the last class of the day) something was going to happen that would get me in big trouble. Because of my anger. I am currently trying to keep in my anger, but it's harder for me than for most people because of Asperger's. I'm not trying to use Asperger's as a crutch, I'm just stating the facts.

So, I skipped 5th Block. I almost got unnoticed until school ended, when my 5th Block teacher saw me in the parking lot. She reported me the next day, and I got ISS. (In School Suspension).

Then I get home. My parents don't know about me skipping class yet. But when I get home, that's when the stuff that will most likely stick with me for a long time happens.

I get home, and dad's car is at the driveway. We talk, and I read the messages to my step-mom. Now, let me remind you, that this all took place at my mom's house, where I live.

Apparently, my dad thinks I was "bullying" my 40-year-old step-mom. I'm sorry what.

So, while I was reading through the messages, my dad suddenly grabs my phone and we end up playing tug-of-war with it. He gets the phone and I fall backwards out of the chair and into the wall. I get back up, and he keeps taunting me by yelling "You're not such a tough guy anymore, are you!?" and phrases similar to that.

I then scream at him, "Get the *insert curse word here* out of this house!" My mom was just standing there while all this was going on. My dad proceeds to physically push me into the wall, and I end up back on the floor. He then gets into my face and yells, "If you ever bully my family again, I will *insert curse word here* end you!"

My face was covered in tears, I get my shoes on, and I run out of the door. I felt like none of my family members cared about me. I ran 2 miles to the gas station across the street, before I sat down and thought, "Should I run away from home for good or not?"

After about an hour and a half, I decide to go back home. I don't talk to anyone for the rest of the day, and I basically lock myself in my room.

Let's go back to the end of April last year, a couple days before I got banned from Vizzed. 8th Grade was almost over, and I was glad, because it was no doubt the worst year of my life. Lots of things happened, but that's in the past so I won't go too far into detail about it. However, my dad and I got into an argument around that time, and it ended up with me being unable to go to his house. Now, yes, I did only go to his house every other weekend. But, still, I think you don't kick your kid out of your house no matter what.

Now let's go back to the present. On Saturday, I learned that I got kicked out AGAIN. I think, "Good. I don't ever want to see that guy again."

Dad said he's done with me, and that's fine, because the feeling is mutual. As you can see, I'm more angry than sad, which is why I've been inactive.

I didn't want to come onto Vizzed with my sour attitude and get banned again, so I waited for a couple of days, and here I am.

I've settled on not seeing my dad for a long time, and hopefully to never see him again. I basically lost all of my feelings for him, all that is left is anger.

I wasn't going to post this, but I wanted to let everyone know what's been going on. That, and I needed to let this all out. Thanks for reading.

While I do consider myself a Christian, I actually have been in a similar boat. When I was younger, my parents often required me to attend church, especially when I wanted to stay home and play video games. I hated it. Now I don't attend Church for a different reason, not because I don't love going to church, (I do), but because of some circumstances at our church. I understand, though; that many atheists feel and are persecuted by those that call themselves Christians. While I can understand their religious fervor, religion should be a tool to push people in the right direction, not to push away people that feel and believe differently. Too many people use religion this way, including those in my church, and it's not right. No one should restrict someone's rights for any reason unless that person has encroached upon another person's rights beforehand. Have you been doing this? This is a rhetorical question. I don't want you to answer me here. Just do what you need to in order to fight for your rights...and be careful to do the right thing in the process.

tornadocam :

Yeah, most of the time I find Vizzed to be my shelter. It's where people help me the most. I just didn't mention this situation until now because I didn't want to get into trouble with my sour attitude. And I don't think I need a professional, I'm just not going to speak to my dad for a long while and we'll see what happens from there.

That's rough. My wife's parents are divorced and she dealt with a lot of similar stuff like this. Lots of going back and forth between houses and hating one parents and then hating the other.

Do your best in school and in a couple more years you'll be able to go off to school and be free from a lot of their influence.

Also, any time a parent can't give you any other answer than "Because I said so" it's because they can't come up with a good reason or are too chicken to answer. That's BS in my opinion. I'm a parent and I do my best to never use that. At the very least I'll tell my kids that I'll explain it later but that I can't explain it at this exact moment.

I can only speak from my own experience with my father when I say try not to hold a grudge too long.  The day will come when you become the patriarch in your family and your father will need you.  I experienced this with my father growing up similarly choosing his girlfriend over his children.  The woman he was with then went on to drive as deep a wedge as she could between my father and I as well as forcing my sister to move out and go live with my grandmother 4 hours away. 

My father has since come around and if his wife acts up around his children or grandchildren now he will put her in her place.  My father taught me through these things that you can make some big mistakes in your life and still set things right it just takes time and effort to repair the damage that was done.  Hope things work out for you and you don't carry the weight of being angry for too long.

Well first off, the way your dad did you is utter garbage. There is no excuse whatsoever for his reaction to you falling like that, and especially to his shoving you and then threatening you like that. Frankly I don't know why your mom didn't call the police. Had it been me the man would have met my fist and then the police for hurting my child. That's none of business though..

As for the church issue: I understand your frustration there, but remember what one atheist said when asked if it bothered him when people witnessed to him: "No. The way I see it, if someone believes in a literal hell, they must really hate you if they don't try to keep you from going there." And such is the case here. Your mom (I assume) believes in hell, and she doesn't want you going there. It isn't pushing you around, it's trying to help you avoid what is (if in fact hell is a real place) the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to you. I happen to believe, and I can identify with her concern for her child going there. Just try to remember she's trying to do what she feels is in your best interest.

Sorry to hear about the ridiculous stuff you had to put up with, and I agree with geeogree: "Because I said so" is a ridiculous answer. A parent's job is to teach their children right and wrong, but what the heck do you learn from a punishment or restriction that they won't explain the reasoning for? That makes as much sense as the police arresting someone and labelled the charges as "Because he did something wrong". And what pray tell was that wrong thing? No, Because I said so is a weak answer and more often than not means either they're too lazy to bother, they have no reason, or they're abusing their authority.

Hang in there, man.

First of all I'm sorry about what you've been going through. I can somewhat relate with how it's between you and your dad since my dad did some pretty despicable things which lead to me trying to avoid him as best as I could. I don't really think there's any excuse for your dad acting like that, threatening your own child. It sounds rough. I think geeogree pretty much summed it up though, you should try to focus on school and eventually you'll eventually be able to become much more independent. I'd also say try to find some way to let your anger out when you need to that doesn't result in negative consequences.

Eirinn : See I understand that the reason she would make him go to church is because she doesn't want anything to happen to him. But if he doesn't actually believe in anything said in the church, what purpose does him going there serve? If god exists wouldn't he know that he doesn't believe in him?  I mean not trying to turn this into a debate or anything but I just don't get that. Unless she's hoping that it'll make him change his mind eventually.

Zlinqx : No, not at all. Thee's no real logical reason to assume that just because something exists everyone would know about it. In fact we discover new things all the time, things that have been here as long as the Earth, and yet we just now know about them. And if God gives us free will then we have the ability to decide not to believe in him.

But yes, that's exactly what she's hoping. That maybe one day something that's said will touch him and he'll see that there is a God that loves Him. I'm speaking from her point of view of course, though I do agree.



Apologies if I seem to have gone off topic in your thread here, Lunar. Neither of us meant any disrespect to your problems.

Eirinn : I think you misunderstood the first part of my post. I meant that if god exists wouldn't god know that he doesn't in believe him, therefore making it pointless. Reading it again I probably should've worded it better. Anyway thanks for clarifying to me what the reason is. Sorry for going a bit off topic to what the thread was about.

Zlinqx :
Eirinn :

Whoops, I probably should have said that she talked to me about it before and that was her reason for it. I was ranting and I forgot to put that in my original post.

Also, no harm done. The conversation didn't go too far off-topic, and I'm completely fine with it as long as it is relevant at all to the thread.

LunarDarkness2 : In an act of self defense, I'da pushed him through a window, preferably second story, if you don't live ground level, for making threats and physically transgressing. That's just me, though. Personally, I believe that, because every one of us is flawed in many ways, parents are a blessing. Even if there's absolutely nothing to follow as a good example, there's something of an example to NOT follow. It doesn't matter if someone's caring, loving, genuine, charitable, selfless or hateful, spiteful, underhanded, greedy, sociopathic, dishonest or anything else, there's something to be learned in everything. I can't say anything about your parents because I don't know them, but you don't have much longer before you can leave. I'm looking for my way out, too. And, had I the means and my own place, I'd welcome you to stay with me, along with a few other vizzoids.

No comment. Seriously, i have no idea how to describe what i'm thinking about this, but i can tell that it's not just a little conflict: It's serious. I have no situations like that going on at my home, or else i would really like to help you. Sorry.

LunarDarkness2 : I'll start off with the good things . It's great that you've gotten all A's this year, and I hope you'll keep them throughout high school. If you get all A's in high school, that's much better than getting all A's in middle school, so if you keep going like this, you would have peaked at the right time. You should be proud of yourself for keeping your grades amidst all this mess. 

About the whole mom and Church thing, I think that's sad. As parents, I think they have the rights to make you go to mass/service on Sundays, but making you go to all the youth group events is over the top. In my opinion, since you're Atheist, but you're still under 18, I think you should still go to church (since technically under parents' control), but you shouldn't go to the youth group if you don't want to. It's not fair to force people into religion, but forcing people into bonus events in religion is just not ok. 

Alright, the dad issues. *Sighs* I cannot say anything positive about this, as much as I try. The only positive I can think of , maybe, is the fact that you don't have to deal with him anymore. The thing about the phone is kind of ridiculous though. As long as you're not buying anything inappropriate, or buying tons of paid apps, there should be no reason to have that many restrictions when you're 15, almost 16. It kind of reminds me of the restrictions I used to have on my computer, and was almost gonna have it this past week. I think you were in a lose-lose situation with the 5th block thing. If you had gone to class, you said you would have probably had an outburst, getting you in trouble, but you avoided class, also getting you into trouble. The only thing you could have done here is maybe see the school counselor or something like that. That way, you wouldn't have gotten in trouble. I know it's easy for me to tell you what you should have done, not having been in the situation, but I'm just telling you in the unfortunate event that this happens again. 

I wanted to say one more thing. I want to apologize again, for using some choice curse words at you a few days ago. At the time, we both weren't in the right frame of mind, as I was having parental issues as well, but hope we can move on. 

Oh, I wanted to say something about going to church when you're Atheist. I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this, but the reason why I said being forced to go to church isn't wrong is because they're your parents and without them, you wouldn't be here. I don't want to be rude or anything, but the least you can do is suck it up, just for 2 more years, then forget about it forever. My only advice is, try to have an open mind, dude. If you go to church with a closed mind, your feelings will never change about it. I'm not saying you need to became a great Christian man or anything, but you will keep on hating it if you go to it with the wrong frame of mind. If  you think about it a little bit more positively, and maybe use mass/ service as a time for peace and calm, you might feel better about going to church. Again, I think the youth group thing is uncalled for, as it's not necessary at all. The church thing is at least understandable as it's a big part in Christianity, but the youth group is only effective if a kid enjoys going there. (I'm sorry if I sounded rude in this paragraph, but I tried to phase it as nice and objective as possible.)

No matter what happens to you or me, or what happens between us Lunar, I will always be there for you if you need me dude. I hope it gets better for you from now on. 

LunarDarkness2 : Despite everything you might think, the ways your mind works that you said were because of Aspergers is actually how most people think, and are completely normal and completely justified. Hell, even I can relate to that on a certain level. I can't say so much about the rage, but I can said I used to be like that. And there's not a single person on the planet that will just suck it up when someone says "because I said so" so you're totally fine man.

As for the dad situation, that's so bulls*** and thankfully you don't have to deal with it anymore.

Everything else such as school and website and stuff, Congrats~

I appreciate all of the replies and advice everyone has given me. I'm going to try and make this post quick since I'm supposed to be grounded right now from the computer for a few days for skipping class.

RDay13 :

Yeah, most of the people I talked to said the better choice would be seeing the guidance office, but I was scared I was going to get in trouble there as well. You know me. I have a REALLY bad attitude when I get that angry.

ghostrunner :

It's really hard to stop holding a grudge when the father also holds a grudge.