The love of my life hates me now. I did something terrible and he wont talk to me anymore... how can I convince him to trust me again after our problem?

Well first, what did you do?

legacyme3 : The big problem here is that it's kinda personal... But it was a terrible thing and now I just need advice. In general, what should I do when a loved one doesnt trust me anymore? Like anything I can do to make up? Sorry if this is extremely vague, I don't know how I'm supposed to go about this...

Amiably Otaku : short answer - there is nothing you can do to make up for it. The thing is done and there is no fixing it or taking away the pain. I'm going to assume based on the use of the word trust that you did something pretty serious.

Long answer - a lot of what you do next depends on what they choose. If they choose to forgive you then you spend a long time making it up to them. Be more selfless in the relationship and try and rebuild things. However, if they say they have forgiven you then don't let them hold this over your head forever. Obvious situations should bring this up (ie if you were an alcoholic and said you wanted to go to the bar then your significant other is well within their right to make a big deal about it) but if a fight starts about something totally unrelated and it gets brought up as a way to attack you then I would suggest leaving the relationship.


In the end it is more up to the other person to forgive you for what you did than there really is anything you can do to make up for it or fix it. If they don't want to forgive you then there is nothing you can say or do that will change that. Regaining someones trust is the toughest thing to do.

I don't know which kind of relationship you two had, so I'll try to give advice on any possible scenario so you don't have to give out many details. I understand it's personal and you don't want to share much details, so giving general help can be difficult.

Geeo pretty much said it all. One thing I could add is that you should start your friendship again from the beginning. If he's willing to forgive you, then he will be willing to start anew. It surely is a downfall in your relationship, but sometimes this kind of things can strengthen the same relationship in the near future. My experience is only between friends, so it's not as a big deal as in your case, but still the procedure and consequences are the same.

There's also a very important fact: what you mean to him. By how you have worded it, you would be willing to forgive him because of your love for him. How much he trusted you before that incident can affect if he will forgive you or not (and if he knew about your feelings for him).

I also don't know how much time has passed after the incident and for how long he has been "rejecting" you (not the best word, but unable to think another one right now). If you haven't yet, you should give it some time so he cools down by himself and thinks about it carefully.

I hope I was of some help. If you ever update this with more details, even if it means the relationship has been restored, we will gladly reply back to you.

I saw your reply to my thread so I decided to take a look at yours. This is very similar to my thread, basic and personal... this is basically what happened to me but it wasn't about a relationship. And mine was both my fault and the other person's fault for various reasons. I've never been in a relationship and I don't plan to be for quite a while due to complicated issues I won't get into.

If you haven't apologized, I suggest you do so. Last afternoon I gave a much-needed apology to the one whose trust I'd broken. If you haven't already given an apology and you'll give one, I have some advice on how to word it. Make sure they know you're genuinely sorry and remorseful for what you did to break their trust. Also, make sure they know that it's their choice whether they forgive you or not. It'll give them a hint that you still care about them and aren't just apologizing for your gain.

As for my situation, they responded right when I was about to go to bed and they kindly asked me not to talk to them. They aren't being mean or selfish anymore like they were before, they just don't want to talk to me. So I have some hope that they'll be OK eventually, I just need to give it a lot of time. Maybe even a year. But it'll be worth it

PacmanandMariofan : Same thing's going on with me... I lost my bf, but I don't think I've lost my friend just yet, and I'm fine with that. I will ask him to play online with me, talk with him about his problems, and mend our wounds. Thanks for the support, it's just what I needed.

No problem, I needed to see this thread so I could know I'm not the only one going through a situation like this. If he doesn't want to play online or anything else you and him usually like to do, make sure you leave him alone for a while to think.

If you were wrong on purpose, there's not much you can do.  You can apologize and say you're sorry and say you want to keep a relationship.  Explain what happened and more specifically why it happened.  And then say you'll wait for them to respond.  After that, you have to wait for the other person to decide whether or not they want to be around you.  It may take a day, a week, a month, but if they're the person you love, you'll be happy to let them decide what they want.

If it is something you didn't do on purpose and you hurt them, apologize and that's that.  If they don't want to be the love of your life after you made an honest mistake, they don't have the same feelings for you as you have for them.  In that case, you probably won't want to be around them after all.

Good luck.

As long as you learn from your mistakes and only repeat them in dire situations (aka exceptions) then you have done the most important part. The most important part might seem to win trust back but the truth is accountability is the most important. If you cheated on him or erased all of his saved games data and then served his dog chocolate, just don't do it anymore. Will he be back? Trust is easy to break, hard to build again. So maybe. He will be cautious and he will be wary. If you give up, all hope is lost. If he flat out tell you to gtfo, then it is game over with 0 continues. 

To caution you on one last thing though, a lot of people "give ground" to earn trust and want from another and you might just go with it when you two speak again. He was hurt. You were the evil doer. It is natural if he wants revenge. So do not get used. Two wrongs doesn't make a right even if he feels better about it after by getting back at you. You may even feel like it is okay because you did it first. Nope. 

Good luck.