If I told you I had been crying for discovering a parody thread made against me and then it won best thread in the competition made me break down you will know I how I am feeling.

I have never said a bad word, mocked, hated or parodied anyone ever on Vizzed ever.

It now seems acceptable to mock me and call it a parody so much so that someone allowed it to be entered into the competition even though it was closed for being so disrespectful I can see people were complaining on it to the mods to close it.

I am so hurt, I don't think you know the pain.

A mistake is a mistake, I made one, but I don't think you know how much Vizzed is my life so why losing my status destroyed me in the first place and why the confusion hurt me so much when I saw it returned and went away again almost broke me, so then mocking me and winning an award for it is too much.

I love the people who stood up for me like Eirinn as they know and understand how I must have felt, I did not join Vizzed to be parodied in such a way I can see people were laughing at me, not the thread.

You cut me and I do bleed.

It does feel like happiness came out of my suffering in the giving of the award.

I just wanted you to know how I feel, I am so grateful for all the messages I have been getting from people on this website that do feel any kind of mockery at a persons expense, especially when in pain, was in poor taste. I do understand parody and love a laugh, but many people have told me that what was said was not even funny, just a chance to laugh, at me.

It might not have been in best taste for that thread to have been voted for best of the year.

That said, sometimes our mistakes have repercussions that we have to deal with long after we make them. If you feel you've learned your lesson, then I think you should shrug this off.

Also, never cut yourself over posts by anonymous strangers on an online forum.

totts....please people make mistakes. A lot do that was something that was long ago....now I am not saying that you should move on from it very quickly but just not to think about it so much as that will hurt you. Its best not to dwell on things like that especially if it was in the past...coming from someone like me who finds a hard time from moving on from something. You can do as well. Please remember to always think positive, and think about it this way. You are not disliked as much as you was in the past ok? some or most people have grown fond of you to like, and know of your presence around on vizzed. I hope this advice serves you well

You aren't the only one with a thread defaming them.

That one is even in the Treasure Can, to be treasured forever.

(Of course, I am totally cool with it, because words are words, and most people just sucked up to me, instead of insulting me)

Well looking at leggy, If you don't want to be hurt, just..join in. I know that sounds horribly stupid, but it's better to have people laugh with you than have people laugh at you. I've done it a few times, and hey, it works. people will leave you alone if you point out your flaws first.

I'm not that good with words, and when I try saying inspirational things to people, they end up just telling me to go away. I'm going to skip to what's important, have a cookie.

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Its good to learn to laugh at yourself. Honestly you are overreacting quite a bit and you must be prepared to face stuff like this and not break. Also if they considered it a parody then they probably didn't mean anything by it. Try to use this to become stronger and when someone does have the intention of harming you you'll be fine. However letting this alone get to you may lead to worse outcomes if you let it.

Everybody makes mistakes, but playing pity party is not going to help. Just look at what happened to me when I got perma banned. 

How you went about all of it was legit funny.

Don't take it personally.

Well I can't speak for everyone else but I can say that not everyone dislikes you. I know this may not come out right but I'll say it anyways. Get over the haters, jerks, and other Totts-wannabes. Enjoy the friends you do have on here and the ones you will make the longer you stay on Vizzed. Life is too short to stay stuck on or upset about things that only matter for moments. 

You did something stupid and someone made fun of you because of it. That's nothing new, it happens all the time to lots of people. It won that award because it was funny. Sometimes you need to learn to laugh at yourself. If I was in your position I would be mad at first, but when I cooled down I would have re-read the thread at just laughed at it. It wasn't even a direct insult at you, just someone mocking a stupid action that you did. It was all in good fun.

Wait, that offended you? I'm sorry you found it offensive, I really do, but I can assure you that no offense was meant...

To be honest, I don't know why you think that people mock you. I mean, everyone has people who laugh at something they do, that's part of life, but I don't think more than one or two idiots go out of their way to publicly make fun of you.

"I am so hurt, I don't think you know the pain". I'll be honest, you can't know what pain I've experienced. I can't know what pain you've experienced either. However, I can promise you this. If a parody of a thread you made is enough to cause you this much emotional trauma, then I'd suggest spending a lot of time doing some good soul-searching. Sooner or later, everyone realizes that pain is simply a part of life. It's as sure as death and taxes, without a doubt.

Knowing that, it's important to be in control of your emotions and to decide what you let hurt you. This thread certainly wasn't meant to hurt you, yet it obviously did. I think that, rather than expressing your pain publicly, you should focus that energy on controlling your pain and mastering it. Recognize that they're simply words, as leggy said, and that ultimately this isn't a fair representation of the general feeling towards you. Master the pain you feel, control it, and stifle it.

Whether meant in jest or offense, that thread is simply someone's opinion of you. If you let opinions drag you down, the truth will never shine through. Take control of your feelings, subject them to your will, and ignore the haters. After all, a famous singer once said: "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate". I'd suggest that you "shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off".

"You cut me and I do bleed". Everyone bleeds when cut. However, I honestly don't see this as a cut. I see this as a joke, that's been taken personally, therefore creating the semblance of a cut. You'll find that, once you simply ignore any potential offense meant by that thread, the pain gives way to freedom to be yourself.

Finally, it's also worth mentioning that the parody was made in an attempt to make a mistake more amusing. You did make a mistake, and have since apologized for it, and this thread was meant to put a lighter spin on the whole scenario (I think). I think you have two feasible choices. You can either choose to not take offense to this kind of stuff, and try to avoid making similar mistakes in the future, or you can choose to take offense and seek relief by wallowing in your emotional pain. Honestly, if I'm you, I would choose the first option. Don't let this offend you, and be the person you want others to see you as.

As a ending note, I talk to the guy who wrote that thread semi-regularly, and he's mentioned multiple times that the parody was simply meant to be amusing. He in no way meant offense towards you. I hope this helps you overcome the pain you feel!

Thanks for reading, hope it helped.

I'd like to apologize,  Totts.

I was one of the stupid people that replied stupidly to that parody thread with a meme, I shouldn't have done that. I had no idea how it effected you.

That being said, I do somewhere agree with merf, Threre are a lot worse things that can happen.

Totts : You have to understand that the world does not revolve around you. This has been going on for seven straight months now. Seven straight months! So, you could've left it at "Server error?" thread, but no, you just had to go on. I'm not trying to hurt you, but to be 40 years old and complain to 13 year olds isn't cool! This is a website that has a legacy. How could you have Elite for "10 years" when you only signed up in 2010s? It just makes no sense! I thought that that thread was funny because it was true. I've been on Vizzed for 3½ years now, and I haven't upgraded to anything yet. Do I care? No! I move along! But you aren't moving along. Get a hold of yourself. I am definitely not 40 years old, but I wouldn't be doing this! Accept the consequences of what you've done (whatever that may be), and just move along. We all have to. The "queen of threads" needs to stop being the "queen of mean". You keep petitioning for someone to be your friend. Remember after you didn't like the responses you got in " Server error?" and then you made a thread later titled "Show you're love for Totts"? That wasn't cool! Just relax. Be calm. And just let it go. Breathe in, breathe out. Now, what I just said in this entire post is to help you. I had no intent to hurt your feelings, and if I did, I apologize. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Totts, people can be rough.  I'll give you that much. I don't know if I ever spoke up IN that thread, but I didn't approve of it either. Nor did I like that it got voted best thread.  I found it to be mean no matter WHAT anybody claimed otherwise.  Even if something isn't done with the intents of being hurtful, that doesn't mean it shouldn't / won't bring someone pain.

That being said.... I agree with several of the posts above.  Although blunt, even the 11 year old above said it magnificently:  Why do you care SO much what people on the WEB say?  They don't know you in real life, they don't see what you go through, and you're probably lucky you didn't get worse than that.  People on the internet are just plain MEAN because they can hide behind the anonymity of pixels.  I've been bashed to pieces here (when I first arrived), but I didn't feel like cutting myself over it.  Stating here that you wanted to cut yourself seems like a serious cry for attention... or a need to seriously seek some therapy.  There is no way you should ever let ANYONE drive you to that point... but one single thread in which someone had fun at your expense?  You're better than that and I'm sure you've gone through worse at your age. I'm also sure there are many, many more positive things going on in your life.

If people's opinions have that much sway over your emotions, you probably should take a step back, because it's worrisome.  I personally don't hate you nor do I dislike your presence on vizzed.  You're simply unique and many people don't take that well.  Wouldn't you rather be a source of strength for others, by showing them you don't crumble under discouraging circumstances?  Wouldn't you like people to admire you for being a positive person, instead of falling apart because a young person posts something absolutely stupid?

Seek some help, Totts.  Gather your real life friends close and distribute more value into their words and actions, not those here.  If you believe in God (which I'm sure you do, from what I've read of your threads), you should know He created you as an individual whom He loves and views as beautiful.  If you can't possibly think of anything else positive in your life, embrace that.

I feel that as the creator of that thread no matter what I say here will be disliked and dissected, but I feel I at least have to say something about the matter.

Firstly there was people talking about the thread you made after being unbanned and how some parts of your post were clearly fictitious, You then pretty much ignored what the globals said and insisted on playing the victim and summoning David,

You also made some other threads about random subjects that seemed to serve no purpose but that's really not relevant. 

I made that thread to essentially turn what could have possibly been a lot of backlash aimed at you, and turned it into something light-hearted and amusing. 

Another thing you never mentioned was that I replied to what Eirinn said in a polite and respectful manner, In which I clearly specified that no ill intent was put into the thread, and that if you requested me to close it I would straight away. 

Also there were a lot of other threads that were created about that situation,  but not in such a polite manner. Are you making threads and complaining about them... No you aren't, because you probably didn't care about them until this thread Won a award. 

Alas these are my final thoughts on this thread in bite size chunks

1)The thread I made is over 6 months old, and has been closed for over 6 months as well. It was dead and buried...
2) I believe that the thread I made actually drew attention away from you and helped reduce flaming.
3) I never really complained that the thread was closed, I did talk to Igor once, but that was because he closed it due to him assuming me and Eirinn would start flaming each other.. Which never happened.. We just talked about it.
4) I feel that if something that light hearted can really make you upset that much then you need to seek help... 
5) This thread really comes across to me as if your trying overly hard to make people sympathize with you and essentially make me look like a heartless heathen. 
6)If I truly wanted to be mean to you or purposefully try to upset you, I'd do it upfront and wouldn't hide behind an excuse. I'm a very honest person with my opinions, Just ask most of the people that talk to me... 
7) Lastly. I apologise if it caused you all this misery... I shall keep in mind that if there is another incident like the previous one I won't try to divert people's attention from you. 

P.S I'm free to answer any questions from anybody.. I feel that this thread may drag on a while for no reason

The reason why others have showed dislike towards you it because you did spam a whole lot without caring. Although hey, we all make mistakes in our life's, I know we all do. Sure others have taken advantage of you and dislike you like tomorrow, just got to remember, be careful on what to do, because what you do can be fragile.

Totts : Hmmm, I don't remember seeing you doing wrong things on this website. I know, we all make mistakes, and we learn from them. If someone had make 0 mistakes, that means he never tried anything new. You don't deserve to be disrespected. I know pain, and I can feel it when my friends feel that. Totts, we all forgive you for every wrong things you've done on Vizzed. A mistake is a mistake, and we learn from them. Totts, you have my respect.

sonicmcmuffin : Please don't think me unreasonable, I have read all your comments and take them on-board, I did not know there were other disrespectful threads made about me also, who has been writing these so please don't feel singled out, but seriously this type of thing is going on and it wins awards?

In future I think I/people should be pm'd or summoned to a thread to ask if it is acceptable to post a mocking/parody thread and let be nominated for an award not expected to find out randomly if they happen go through all the threads, the titles don't give away much.

How am I to know, what is said about me, if I am not directly notified?

I only found out when I got back from New Years away and went through the Announcements, do people consider other people may get hurt.

If I offended anyone by my actions it is not deliberate, its my style which has made me so loved as a user, so I apologise for that, but as you say there are other similar disrespectful parody threads about me which is deliberate.

I am not sure what has happened to Vizzed but the Mods seem to be tougher in some respects but perhaps not all consistent in deciding what is foul play.

I am sorry for what I did, but in an apology to me, it is only truly heartfelt if it does not come with qualifiers.

I hope we can sort this, I am looking for a resolution, not a debate or fight, but you appear like I dislike/like you, I am not even angry at you. I am just hurt, upset and at the end very disappointed by yours and others actions.

The only thing I can take to heart is that so many have written here with their support and pm'd me to say what was done was a bad thing.

Thank you to all those here who have written their blessed words.

Totts : So let me get this straight. You want to take away our freedom of speech and restrict our right to vote?

The fact that the thread won an award should tell you something. It doesn't mean that everyone hates you, it means that the thread was FUNNY! If everyone hated you you wouldn't be trusted. Heck, you wouldn't probably have less than -5 TP so you would be a newbie. But you +5 TP, which means that you are more liked than you are disliked.

Even if the thread was supposed to be mean and everyone voted for it because they hated you, who are you to say that they can't hate you? You can say whatever you want here. The thread did not break any rules, so it can exist regardless of whether you like it or not. Why should we have to PM you asking if you approve of a thread? We have a right to say what we want as long as the Vizzed terms of service are not broken. And how can you possibly suggest that you have a say in what we can and can't vote for? You are just a regular member. Not even the globals have that right.

You say "If I offended anyone by my actions it is not deliberate", which is extremely ironic. You are saying this and expect people to accept that, but you can't accept the fact that sonicmcmuffin said the same thing about his actions. Complete irony right there.

"I am not sure what has happened to Vizzed but the Mods seem to be tougher in some respects but perhaps not all consistent in deciding what is foul play." Probably because it wasn't foul play...

I am sorry that this post was a little harsh but you are starting to get on my nerves. You need to learn to take a joke. And your first 5 paragraphs of your last post were just completely outrageous.