So, I made a thread a long time ago about a book that my aunt wrote. What's so special about this book? Well, she wrote it with another person. This person is the woman that created Moderation Management, got so drunk that she binged for 2 days straight, then got on the interstate going the wrong way, and ended up killing my cousin and uncle on March 25th, 2000. 

I never liked Audrey Conn. She murdered my uncle and cousin when I was only 6, and barely knew them. It wasn't fair. So I never really wanted to meet the woman when my aunt wanted me to meet her. I would come and visit my aunt when I was younger and lived in the area. Well, Audrey would visit a lot because they had to write the book, and because my aunt forgave her and decided to befriend her. So, I told my aunt that I would tolerate the woman as long as I never saw her. My aunt obliged. 

Well, I just got a text from my aunt while I was at the movies a few hours ago that said this: " Audrey Conn killed her self 5 days ago. " 
This is how I replied: " Can't say that I feel anything except for some joy that that murderous ***** is finally gone. " 

Am I wrong be being so happy that the woman that took 2 members of my family from me at such a young age is finally dead? Was I wrong in my response to my aunt's text? Am I wrong for wishing death upon this woman for so long, and being glad that I finally got it? 

yes

thing1 : Death barely matters to me.

I usually reply with a 'whatever' or 'sad' or 'hm.'

If your aunt is upset, you should comfort her. telling her directly was probably a bad idea.

You should have asked her if she was ok.

Good job

Her act wasn't premeditated, so I wouldn't call what she did "murder", or her "murderous".

Her actions in 2000 did lead to something terrible, the loss of life. There's no doubt about that.

But she taking her own life is just another senseless death. I find it more sad than anything else.

I personally think you're in the wrong for wishing death upon her.

I don't think you can be right or wrong in this situation. The events that happened are so terrible that you can't simplify what you feel as right or wrong. She was completely drunk so I don't think she was capable of making a conscious and prudent decision. And she expressed deep regret and remorse afterwards to the point where she chose to end it all. Now we have three people who have passed away. But she was the one who did the deed and so I think you were right about not wanting to associate or forgive


this person. But I also think you were wrong in wishing for her to die. You have a person who killed two others by driving while intoxicated. That for me is unforgivable. But I don't think she had the intention to go around hurting others. She even took full responsibility and then went around to try to reform herself and teach others about her experience. And she felt guilt in causing the accident. Personally, putting these also into context, I wouldn't go so far as wish that person to die. 

You can argue she got what she deserved, and lay your twisted form of justice over this situation, but you shouldn't feel "happy" about this at all.

Life is precious. She didn't choose to kill anyone and she probably lived with great regret for her mistake. It isn't easy to live with the loss of someone else's life on your conscience (according to family who have killed purposely or accidentally, mostly in the army).

Never be happy with this sort of result.

You're asking the question so there may be some remorse in there.

Over 14 years a person can change.  She may have made terrible decisions many years ago and that's bad.  She took people from your life and that's terrible.  But blood for blood never really solves anything and doesn't give anyone peace.

Also, the response to your aunt, if she cared about this woman, was terrible.  The first thing you should do is apologize for that, even if it is exactly how you feel.  There's a thing called tact that lets us empathize with others even if we don't agree with them.  Someone probably didn't care for your relatives all those years ago and thought, "Thank god someone went and killed those (bad word) because they were (bad word)."  
It's not fair to your aunt.  Suicide is a hurtful and terrible thing and people's emotions are destroyed by it.

To answer your question: You should never be happy about human life ending.  Is it wrong to find peace and calm?  Absolutely not.  Her death ties up a terrible time in your life.  But should 'happy' be the correct emotion?  No.  That makes you a terrible person.

Find peace in yourself and move on.

The death of wicked people can bring deliverance to others. If she was still harming others with her bad choices, you can be happy that those people are no longer being harmed by her. But grief and forgiveness must come as well. Grief that a person who could have been great did not become so. And forgiveness for the choices that harmed you and others.

When those feelings are in place, you can (in time) get over it all. Grief isn't pleasant. But it does often lead to healing. Withholding forgiveness does not fix your problems. It makes them worse. Trying to play with forgiveness is like trying to play God without having the understanding and love He has. It is hardest to forgive yourself for your mistakes if you withhold forgiveness from others.

The short of it? Move on. Be strong and forgive her. If you need to, learn about the good she did and focus on that. Then move on with the lessons you learned and don't dwell on the past.

Yes.
Absolutely, yes.

I couldn't have said it better than leggy and warmarker, so I'll just let the point be emphasized with my resounding yes.

8bitofMe : She created Moderation Management WAY BEFORE she binged and killed my uncle and cousin. 

And I am happy that she is dead. But, I feel bad for feeling happy. 

To be the devil's advocate, No, not really, it was just plain human nature of you to want someone dead that had caused you grief. Moralistically, yes it was bad of you to wish death of her for something she didn't intend on doing, but I can very much tell that the hate you fell was unthought about (seeing as it started at 6, when we aren't as capable of moralistic thinking), just simple vengeance, so I could forgive you for it (There is I person that I wish death upon too for things he has done to others too, the only real difference here though is that he didn't take anyone's life, but he did intentionally do the damage). As for responding the way you did, it wasn't very considerate of your aunts feelings to say the least, but at least it was honest about the way you felt, even if brutle. To sum it up, nothing wrong here, just some people dead, and a heart broken.

That's really wrong.

And immoral.

But what can I say, I understand why you're happy about this. She did kill people who were family.

I think that you've got the rigth to be happy about this no matter how bad that is.

She did do something horrible to you and your family.

I wouldn't be able to forgive her for that.

Best of luck man.