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Let's discuss life

 

09-30-14 01:19 AM
pray75 is Offline
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As many of you are well aware, I'm not nearly as active as I was a while ago. I've been highly busy, moving to Texas, getting married, and now having a kid on the way. That being said, I'm starting to see myself slip away into a kind of despair, and after doing some research, I now realize that what I am going through is a quarter-life crisis.

Seems kind of obvious as to what that is, right?

I turned 24 in July, and I am for the first time seeing myself in the light of someone who is more immature and less skilled than many people in the world today. I feel behind, and I have been freaking out about it since I really made this discovery. I'm more anxious than I have been before, and up until a month and a half ago, I became subject to rage fits that scared my coworkers and even got me fired at one point. I have seemingly abandoned my faith, although I do not actively say so, and it seems impossible for me to maintain some sort of prayer/bible study life, no matter what kind of effort I put into it. It's increasingly frustrating because something I held so dear to me now is a side-thought on a long drive to my mother-in-law's house twice a month. It's something that I'm really not comprehending here. I know my frustration with Christians in general has had some impact on how I feel about things, because of the way a few of our managers (who are well-known in churches around here) treat employees. And on Sundays, you know the old debate about Christians at restaurants. Let me tell you, many times it's true, and it's discouraging.

What I'm hoping to accomplish with this post, I guess, is to try to verbalize thoughts that I haven't really been able to for a while. My wife has had similar thoughts about her faith; since her father's passing (and even before then), her faith has plummeted. Jesus just isn't an important part of our lives like He should be. What's worse is that it seems as though any attempt to bring Him back into our lives, initiated by either of us, is suffocated by external forces out of our control. When we prayed over our food for the first time together, we fell into a hole monetarily. When we try to read our Bibles or talk about faith in general, we get sick and weary, and when we try to bring God into our relationship, we end up going to war with each other. It's frustrating and it seems like this effort is us getting our Ford Focus stuck in three feet of mud, but there is one silver lining.

I'm not one to spout off about the enemy. I have heard enough about the enemy from my past Bible Study group to make me wonder if my group was about worshiping Jesus or about fearing the enemy (I love my group, don't get me wrong, but this characterization of the devil, at first, scared me but later numbed me to it). Even so, I believe that Satan's ploy is to throw people off when they are starting to get on the right track. It's meant to discourage and discombobulate, and sometimes he throws so much at you it's like you literally don't have time for Jesus.

I'm believing that things will change soon. Every day I hear a whisper in my heart. I feel a hunger rise up in me, telling the anxiety and the wild voices to be quiet. And though it is not dominant yet, I know that there will be a time when it changes. It feels like I should be able to just command myself to do as I will, but for some reason it just isn't possible yet. If I may ask for prayer from all of you, I believe it would greatly impact my life and help me take a grasp of the changes within me that I desperately seek.

As for this thread, I intend it to be one where people can voice their thoughts on my situation, or they can openly discuss their thoughts on their own. I know we have a prayer wall, but I'm hoping for this thread to be something that people can use to get something off their chests. Feel free to comment on my situation, or let me know what's going on with you.
As many of you are well aware, I'm not nearly as active as I was a while ago. I've been highly busy, moving to Texas, getting married, and now having a kid on the way. That being said, I'm starting to see myself slip away into a kind of despair, and after doing some research, I now realize that what I am going through is a quarter-life crisis.

Seems kind of obvious as to what that is, right?

I turned 24 in July, and I am for the first time seeing myself in the light of someone who is more immature and less skilled than many people in the world today. I feel behind, and I have been freaking out about it since I really made this discovery. I'm more anxious than I have been before, and up until a month and a half ago, I became subject to rage fits that scared my coworkers and even got me fired at one point. I have seemingly abandoned my faith, although I do not actively say so, and it seems impossible for me to maintain some sort of prayer/bible study life, no matter what kind of effort I put into it. It's increasingly frustrating because something I held so dear to me now is a side-thought on a long drive to my mother-in-law's house twice a month. It's something that I'm really not comprehending here. I know my frustration with Christians in general has had some impact on how I feel about things, because of the way a few of our managers (who are well-known in churches around here) treat employees. And on Sundays, you know the old debate about Christians at restaurants. Let me tell you, many times it's true, and it's discouraging.

What I'm hoping to accomplish with this post, I guess, is to try to verbalize thoughts that I haven't really been able to for a while. My wife has had similar thoughts about her faith; since her father's passing (and even before then), her faith has plummeted. Jesus just isn't an important part of our lives like He should be. What's worse is that it seems as though any attempt to bring Him back into our lives, initiated by either of us, is suffocated by external forces out of our control. When we prayed over our food for the first time together, we fell into a hole monetarily. When we try to read our Bibles or talk about faith in general, we get sick and weary, and when we try to bring God into our relationship, we end up going to war with each other. It's frustrating and it seems like this effort is us getting our Ford Focus stuck in three feet of mud, but there is one silver lining.

I'm not one to spout off about the enemy. I have heard enough about the enemy from my past Bible Study group to make me wonder if my group was about worshiping Jesus or about fearing the enemy (I love my group, don't get me wrong, but this characterization of the devil, at first, scared me but later numbed me to it). Even so, I believe that Satan's ploy is to throw people off when they are starting to get on the right track. It's meant to discourage and discombobulate, and sometimes he throws so much at you it's like you literally don't have time for Jesus.

I'm believing that things will change soon. Every day I hear a whisper in my heart. I feel a hunger rise up in me, telling the anxiety and the wild voices to be quiet. And though it is not dominant yet, I know that there will be a time when it changes. It feels like I should be able to just command myself to do as I will, but for some reason it just isn't possible yet. If I may ask for prayer from all of you, I believe it would greatly impact my life and help me take a grasp of the changes within me that I desperately seek.

As for this thread, I intend it to be one where people can voice their thoughts on my situation, or they can openly discuss their thoughts on their own. I know we have a prayer wall, but I'm hoping for this thread to be something that people can use to get something off their chests. Feel free to comment on my situation, or let me know what's going on with you.
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09-30-14 02:12 AM
warmaker is Offline
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I'm 32.  I'm married with a kid and there are few of us older types on this website so I doubt you'll get a lot of useful responses.  

First, let's not talk about the devil and god.  You said so yourself, with your Bible study groups, everyone is so busy talking about the enemy and all.  Let that go.  This has nothing to do with that.  Ultimately, you're on your own to make your own decisions.  

Let's also not talk about a quarter life crisis.  It's an excuse for people who haven't learned how to work hard and attack their jobs.  There's no such thing.


If you're worried about being less mature and less skilled than others, develop maturity and develop skill sets.  Ask for help to learn about your job.  Ask for more responsibility.  Control your anger and emotions outbursts and be a man.  Men don't 'rage-quit' and do all this other emotional garbage because they're not happy with something.

Take control of your own life and don't sit around praying for it.  Attack fitness, learn to improve your career, ask for help from those above you, and control your emotions.  That's it.  Everything else falls into place.
I'm 32.  I'm married with a kid and there are few of us older types on this website so I doubt you'll get a lot of useful responses.  

First, let's not talk about the devil and god.  You said so yourself, with your Bible study groups, everyone is so busy talking about the enemy and all.  Let that go.  This has nothing to do with that.  Ultimately, you're on your own to make your own decisions.  

Let's also not talk about a quarter life crisis.  It's an excuse for people who haven't learned how to work hard and attack their jobs.  There's no such thing.


If you're worried about being less mature and less skilled than others, develop maturity and develop skill sets.  Ask for help to learn about your job.  Ask for more responsibility.  Control your anger and emotions outbursts and be a man.  Men don't 'rage-quit' and do all this other emotional garbage because they're not happy with something.

Take control of your own life and don't sit around praying for it.  Attack fitness, learn to improve your career, ask for help from those above you, and control your emotions.  That's it.  Everything else falls into place.
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09-30-14 05:32 AM
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I do agree with a lot that warmaker has said. However, to clarify... I DO think you should pray, but prayer should also always come with action. I understand that you are trying, and that it is hard... but that is exactly what happens during a spiritual storm. Things aren't going to be easy and you can't expect them to be. Even if you feel sick and weary, press onward. Keep ahold of that small little voice you feel rising up within you. Find other ways to accomplish your goals. If you find it difficult to read the Bible.... listen to it as you drive to work. If you and your wife argue over the Word too often, take a break from that and study on your own. Come back together at another time when both of you are stronger. If your church group is frustrating, try a new one. This doesn't mean you have to quit them forever, but maybe God wants you in another place just for this time period.

Another thing to consider: Do you think things in your life might not be right, because something is not right in your life? What I mean is.... Is there somewhere that God has led you that you've resisted? Is there anything in your house that shouldn't be?  Something you should have been repentant about and weren't?  etc.

Or is it all just being stressed and overwhelmed by so many changes? In that case, find one little thing that makes you happy and participate in it regularly. Don't feel bad if that thing isn't church related. I've lately been super into getting fit, and I can't even begin to explain to you the difference it has made in my levels of happiness. It's relieved my stress, made me feel good about myself and strong, and it's brought my confidence levels up.

Feeling behind? (ha!) I'm 27 and I've been renting apartments for nearly ten years, I don't have a kid, I'm not socially active whatsoever, and I have trouble even holding conversations with coworkers. My friend... you are not behind.

I know I suck at advice, so I'm sorry... but I'll be praying. God bless!
I do agree with a lot that warmaker has said. However, to clarify... I DO think you should pray, but prayer should also always come with action. I understand that you are trying, and that it is hard... but that is exactly what happens during a spiritual storm. Things aren't going to be easy and you can't expect them to be. Even if you feel sick and weary, press onward. Keep ahold of that small little voice you feel rising up within you. Find other ways to accomplish your goals. If you find it difficult to read the Bible.... listen to it as you drive to work. If you and your wife argue over the Word too often, take a break from that and study on your own. Come back together at another time when both of you are stronger. If your church group is frustrating, try a new one. This doesn't mean you have to quit them forever, but maybe God wants you in another place just for this time period.

Another thing to consider: Do you think things in your life might not be right, because something is not right in your life? What I mean is.... Is there somewhere that God has led you that you've resisted? Is there anything in your house that shouldn't be?  Something you should have been repentant about and weren't?  etc.

Or is it all just being stressed and overwhelmed by so many changes? In that case, find one little thing that makes you happy and participate in it regularly. Don't feel bad if that thing isn't church related. I've lately been super into getting fit, and I can't even begin to explain to you the difference it has made in my levels of happiness. It's relieved my stress, made me feel good about myself and strong, and it's brought my confidence levels up.

Feeling behind? (ha!) I'm 27 and I've been renting apartments for nearly ten years, I don't have a kid, I'm not socially active whatsoever, and I have trouble even holding conversations with coworkers. My friend... you are not behind.

I know I suck at advice, so I'm sorry... but I'll be praying. God bless!
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(edited by Singelli on 09-30-14 05:34 AM)    

09-30-14 08:50 AM
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pray75 : I know, you have most likely heard this before, but it's true. When the hard things in life get started, there are two reasons: One God wants you to get stronger in Him (A test of your faith in Him), and Two You are doing something/ have something wrong. I know I am like a complete stranger to you, but I feel that you need someone to encourage you! Just try to keep a steady course, and Pray for God's direction. Maybe He wants to draw your attention to something, which is hard when nothing is wrong. Just keep trying to do the right thing. After all, God promises, "All things work together for good, to them that Love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

And Singelli does have a great point about prayer. It needs action, not just the prayer. (I don't know if you have been doing it or not, but I thought I would just say that.)

I'll be keeping you in my Prayer!
pray75 : I know, you have most likely heard this before, but it's true. When the hard things in life get started, there are two reasons: One God wants you to get stronger in Him (A test of your faith in Him), and Two You are doing something/ have something wrong. I know I am like a complete stranger to you, but I feel that you need someone to encourage you! Just try to keep a steady course, and Pray for God's direction. Maybe He wants to draw your attention to something, which is hard when nothing is wrong. Just keep trying to do the right thing. After all, God promises, "All things work together for good, to them that Love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

And Singelli does have a great point about prayer. It needs action, not just the prayer. (I don't know if you have been doing it or not, but I thought I would just say that.)

I'll be keeping you in my Prayer!
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09-30-14 02:41 PM
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pray75 :  I have been in two minds replying to your brave post here, or in a PM. Brave because it's personal matters posted on a public forum to an (no disrespect) immature crowd. Let's face it, 90% of the kids here are probably sub 20 with very little life experience and probably 98% are non-Christian (I might be wrong). Once again guys, I am not disrespecting your age or belief or whatever if you fall into that category, but sometimes one has to be careful not to discuss personal life issues with the general public. Your "pearls" might just be trampled under foot (Matthew 6:7). 

This is a Christian forum the last time I looked and as a Christian I can only give advice from 2 fronts. First and foremost from God's Word and from my own life experience, especially if it's towards another Christian. So this is what I'm hopefully going to give you. Christian advice, not some self help, 10 steps to a better you,cockamamie scheme.  Pray, I also just want to make it clear that I do not have it all together. I am 37 years old. I have been married for 8 years with a demanding (but dear) 3 year old boy and 5 month old twins. Lately I'm hardly sleeping, I have hurt my back two weeks ago from a stupid little thing and the pain is not going away even after treatment. I have not really spoken to God for almost two weeks because I'm just too tired at night to read my Bible and I can hardly get up in the morning for work, so I usually rush and don't get to prayer or again, reading my Bible. I am frustrated, tired, hurt, short tempered (especially the ones close to me) and generally miserable. I have seen a side of me I do not like at all. As a matter of fact it scares me. Does this start to sound familiar? 
Well, this was all up until recently. I have realised, again, that there's a common thread to all of this. It is not your/my circumstances. It is not your job. It is not your wife. It is not even the way you feel - your anger, insecurities etc. It comes down to one simple thing and some has already mentioned this. Your time spent with God. How's it going? Well as I said, up to recently, I haven't been giving God ANY time. Time and time again in my life whenever I compromise my quiet time with God (earnestly praying, reading my Bible, seeking Him), everything seems to be coming loose. You see God NEVER changes. We do. He NEVER goes away. We do. Every time you try and do stuff your way and try to get out of the rut you're in by your own strength, you will get caught in the lies of the enemy. EVERY time. That little voice of lies - You're not good enough. You're not mature enough. You're not skilled enough. You will fail - and you know the crazy thing is, we listen to that stupid voice. We rather believe the lies of the enemy than relying, trusting and believing the God of all things, that knows ALL things, that has ALL the power, that made ALL things. 
There''s only one thing to do and it's not rocket science. Get back into the Word. Get back to serious prayer. MAKE time for the Lord. We always have time for games, movies, all other stuff that steal away our time. If you honor God with your life, He WILL honor you and He always keep His promises. James 4:8 - "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Not "maybe"- if you honestly seek Him you WILL find Him (again). I can testify of this in my life man. Get back in the saddle and take your wife with you. Get rid of stuff that might be standing between you and the Lord. Cut it off - completely. I'm dead serious about this. You see our struggle is not against flesh and blood. It's a battle of the mind - a spiritual battle and the only way to fight it is on your knees.
Ephesians 6:12-13 - "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Satan is all about the flesh. If you try and fight it in your own strength, whatever you're trying to fight, you WILL lose, believe me. 
These last few weeks I've been going about things totally the wrong way. I've tried to control my fits of anger, my tiredness (from getting up at 1 am and again at 3 am for the babies), my frustration in my own way and I've lost control every.single.time. 
I don't know you personally, but if you have truly surrendered your life to Christ, you need to surrender whatever it is that's keeping you down to Him. You don't need to follow a special program. You don't need to follow 20 steps to improve yourself. You don't need to attack anything. You don't need to find your identity in your job, in your skills, in what other people want you to be. As a truly surrendered child of God, your identity is in Him. If you try and find it in the things the world tells you, you will lose it. If you lose it for God, you will find it. You need to give to God whatever it is you need to give to Him and you know what it is.
2 Peter 1: 3 - 11 - "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is short-sighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Somehow there seems to be this false view of Christians as always being shiny, happy, people.  That's not always true.  We face the same tough things in this life like anyone else.  We certainly don't have everything under control.  The difference is we have an eternal hope, peace and joy (not happiness) that can only be found in Jesus Christ that carries us through these things and I will pray that He will carry you through your rough road that you're facing now.  You're not alone bro.
pray75 :  I have been in two minds replying to your brave post here, or in a PM. Brave because it's personal matters posted on a public forum to an (no disrespect) immature crowd. Let's face it, 90% of the kids here are probably sub 20 with very little life experience and probably 98% are non-Christian (I might be wrong). Once again guys, I am not disrespecting your age or belief or whatever if you fall into that category, but sometimes one has to be careful not to discuss personal life issues with the general public. Your "pearls" might just be trampled under foot (Matthew 6:7). 

This is a Christian forum the last time I looked and as a Christian I can only give advice from 2 fronts. First and foremost from God's Word and from my own life experience, especially if it's towards another Christian. So this is what I'm hopefully going to give you. Christian advice, not some self help, 10 steps to a better you,cockamamie scheme.  Pray, I also just want to make it clear that I do not have it all together. I am 37 years old. I have been married for 8 years with a demanding (but dear) 3 year old boy and 5 month old twins. Lately I'm hardly sleeping, I have hurt my back two weeks ago from a stupid little thing and the pain is not going away even after treatment. I have not really spoken to God for almost two weeks because I'm just too tired at night to read my Bible and I can hardly get up in the morning for work, so I usually rush and don't get to prayer or again, reading my Bible. I am frustrated, tired, hurt, short tempered (especially the ones close to me) and generally miserable. I have seen a side of me I do not like at all. As a matter of fact it scares me. Does this start to sound familiar? 
Well, this was all up until recently. I have realised, again, that there's a common thread to all of this. It is not your/my circumstances. It is not your job. It is not your wife. It is not even the way you feel - your anger, insecurities etc. It comes down to one simple thing and some has already mentioned this. Your time spent with God. How's it going? Well as I said, up to recently, I haven't been giving God ANY time. Time and time again in my life whenever I compromise my quiet time with God (earnestly praying, reading my Bible, seeking Him), everything seems to be coming loose. You see God NEVER changes. We do. He NEVER goes away. We do. Every time you try and do stuff your way and try to get out of the rut you're in by your own strength, you will get caught in the lies of the enemy. EVERY time. That little voice of lies - You're not good enough. You're not mature enough. You're not skilled enough. You will fail - and you know the crazy thing is, we listen to that stupid voice. We rather believe the lies of the enemy than relying, trusting and believing the God of all things, that knows ALL things, that has ALL the power, that made ALL things. 
There''s only one thing to do and it's not rocket science. Get back into the Word. Get back to serious prayer. MAKE time for the Lord. We always have time for games, movies, all other stuff that steal away our time. If you honor God with your life, He WILL honor you and He always keep His promises. James 4:8 - "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." Not "maybe"- if you honestly seek Him you WILL find Him (again). I can testify of this in my life man. Get back in the saddle and take your wife with you. Get rid of stuff that might be standing between you and the Lord. Cut it off - completely. I'm dead serious about this. You see our struggle is not against flesh and blood. It's a battle of the mind - a spiritual battle and the only way to fight it is on your knees.
Ephesians 6:12-13 - "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand."
Satan is all about the flesh. If you try and fight it in your own strength, whatever you're trying to fight, you WILL lose, believe me. 
These last few weeks I've been going about things totally the wrong way. I've tried to control my fits of anger, my tiredness (from getting up at 1 am and again at 3 am for the babies), my frustration in my own way and I've lost control every.single.time. 
I don't know you personally, but if you have truly surrendered your life to Christ, you need to surrender whatever it is that's keeping you down to Him. You don't need to follow a special program. You don't need to follow 20 steps to improve yourself. You don't need to attack anything. You don't need to find your identity in your job, in your skills, in what other people want you to be. As a truly surrendered child of God, your identity is in Him. If you try and find it in the things the world tells you, you will lose it. If you lose it for God, you will find it. You need to give to God whatever it is you need to give to Him and you know what it is.
2 Peter 1: 3 - 11 - "His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is short-sighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. Therefore, my brothers and sisters, make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Somehow there seems to be this false view of Christians as always being shiny, happy, people.  That's not always true.  We face the same tough things in this life like anyone else.  We certainly don't have everything under control.  The difference is we have an eternal hope, peace and joy (not happiness) that can only be found in Jesus Christ that carries us through these things and I will pray that He will carry you through your rough road that you're facing now.  You're not alone bro.
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(edited by SoL@R on 09-30-14 02:57 PM)     Post Rating: 2   Liked By: pray75, Singelli,

09-30-14 04:20 PM
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I'm 29 about to be 30 and what you are going through is what I went through about 5 or 6 years ago. I will share you my story. I got saved at age 11, when I was in high school I became involved in my church's youth group. After I graduated I became a helper in my church's youth group. However when I was a Junior in college my world came crashing down. I went through a health crises and a quarter life crises. When I was a junior in college It was confirmed what many had speculated for many years I had Autism. I was a Science Major I knew what Autism was it explained so many things but I was ashamed. A few months later I started having headaches. It was determined that I had a brain tumor. The Tumor was non cancerous but it started to grow. My site started to go away and when it changed my behavior. One minute I was myself the next minute I would have angry outbursts. I remember asking why me Lord. I have not gave into the ways of the world and I have been loyal to you. I was angry at the Lord. I remember praying one night Lord I don't think I can take much more if you could please strike me down. If you want me to have a few more years then help me get through this. I also in the meantime lost friends, due to them not understanding. Finally I had the surgery my surgeon told me if he did not get this tumor I would eventually die, but there was a low chance I could die on the table due to stroke. I had the surgery and it was a success. I also spent most of my senior year in college recovering I was able to graduated with my Bachelors 

After I graduated and had recovered. I remember thinking how foolish I was to be angry at God. I realized I had not done nothing wrong to be Autistic and I was not being punished. I realized what I needed was my faith and relationship with Christ back. So In 2011 I rededicated my life back to Christ. I started reading my Bible again and doing devotions. For the first time in 3 years I had peace. I knew I was a Child of God and that God had not forgotten me. I also earned my Masters degree. Now I consider myself an Autism advocate, I'm more open about my Autism, and I'm over the shame. But I believe in Jesus and I love him with all my heart. 

I know this is long but I can relate to you as I went through a Crises. I hope this testimony not only points people to Jesus, but that this message offers hopes and God can bring us through the storms just like he did me. 
I'm 29 about to be 30 and what you are going through is what I went through about 5 or 6 years ago. I will share you my story. I got saved at age 11, when I was in high school I became involved in my church's youth group. After I graduated I became a helper in my church's youth group. However when I was a Junior in college my world came crashing down. I went through a health crises and a quarter life crises. When I was a junior in college It was confirmed what many had speculated for many years I had Autism. I was a Science Major I knew what Autism was it explained so many things but I was ashamed. A few months later I started having headaches. It was determined that I had a brain tumor. The Tumor was non cancerous but it started to grow. My site started to go away and when it changed my behavior. One minute I was myself the next minute I would have angry outbursts. I remember asking why me Lord. I have not gave into the ways of the world and I have been loyal to you. I was angry at the Lord. I remember praying one night Lord I don't think I can take much more if you could please strike me down. If you want me to have a few more years then help me get through this. I also in the meantime lost friends, due to them not understanding. Finally I had the surgery my surgeon told me if he did not get this tumor I would eventually die, but there was a low chance I could die on the table due to stroke. I had the surgery and it was a success. I also spent most of my senior year in college recovering I was able to graduated with my Bachelors 

After I graduated and had recovered. I remember thinking how foolish I was to be angry at God. I realized I had not done nothing wrong to be Autistic and I was not being punished. I realized what I needed was my faith and relationship with Christ back. So In 2011 I rededicated my life back to Christ. I started reading my Bible again and doing devotions. For the first time in 3 years I had peace. I knew I was a Child of God and that God had not forgotten me. I also earned my Masters degree. Now I consider myself an Autism advocate, I'm more open about my Autism, and I'm over the shame. But I believe in Jesus and I love him with all my heart. 

I know this is long but I can relate to you as I went through a Crises. I hope this testimony not only points people to Jesus, but that this message offers hopes and God can bring us through the storms just like he did me. 
Vizzed Elite

Affected by 'Laziness Syndrome'

Registered: 08-18-12
Last Post: 54 days
Last Active: 1 day

Post Rating: 1   Liked By: SoL@R,

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