I don't know if there is a threads like this one. If there is then you can shut mine down....do you ever wonder at times that friends appear to be who they say they are? Or not? This can be on vizzed or in real life. I'll explain what I mean....though sometimes you may have doubts about your friends in a way....do you sometimes feel that your friends don't really do the actions, that you want them to do? Though they should know how you are and how you act? Sometimes friends do see the signals, of what the matter may be. Or don't see it. Even though you try to tell them. You are not really sure of what to say, and how you want to express it. Then you end up seeing things that can get you upset for either a reason. Or not a good reason. Sometimes we may get paranoid about our thoughts to do with our friends, even if you have known them for a long time. This can also happen to old friends as well, that you may have known for a long time. I have now explained what I mean....if you have anything to say to this. What are your thoughts and feelings towards it?

Friends are people and all people are going to make decisions based on what they want to do.  You can't control friends' actions and you can make them do things or not do other things.

You can, however, pick your friends.  I had a friend who started smoking pot, starting stealing, and got in trouble.  I simply stopped hanging out with him because I didn't want to be around the influence and I knew he was changing.  I didn't like him how I used to.  We grew up together and shared a lot of experiences and had a great friendship until he hit 16.  Things changed, I understood it, and I made the decision to stop being in his presence.  It worked for me.

You should know what people are up to and if you don't agree, stop being friends with them.  It seems hard or unloving, especially with people where you have a lot a history together.  Ultimately, as long as they aren't lying to you to your face, you should take them at face value.  If they aren't who they used to be and they changed for the worse or you think they're changing for the worse, leave them.  It's perfectly fine.

This type of situation requires a little bit of discernment, because sometimes if you rely on signals to let people know whether you approve or not approve of something, it's sometimes not clear to them that that is what you mean, regardless of whether it's clear or not to them. This might be a guy versus girl difference, but I tend to not want to assume what signals mean when my friends give me them, but I do want to be responsible in knowing that I get signals and want to figure out what they really mean. Friends need to communicate and can be cleared up by simply talking or asking about it. You also don't want to create the situation in your head in thinking that the friend intentionally ignore your request.

But, then again, like warmaker said, sometimes people are going to be selfish and not take into consideration what you want them to act, and depending on different situations, you need to decide how you are going handle these situations. Whether if it's to break a friendship or to figure out another way. Just remember that being kind and loving to the person doesn't automatically mean that you two are friends. It just means that you are friendly and caring. Being friends require both sides to make it work.

Eniitan : People are just People, we can't fulfill everything our "friends" may wish upon us, nor do I think like warmaker said "control" our friends since then you can't really cal them a friend but more so a "clone" of yourself. However, these so called "friends" should know how to act if they're around you or talking to you and not purposefully do something they know will agitate or annoy you and choose not to do it.

I've never been a fan of "Sending signals" and instead just bluntly saying what I mean, ex: ~ do you think your um writing is kind of a flower short of the roots ~ <-- (signal) compared to: you really need to take a look at what you're writing and think is it at it's peak where it should be?

Because to me if you're sending signals then your "hostess" may get even more confused than needed thus the point making could become pointless. You need to look at each others feelings and needs, agree that though you may not agree with this point or vice versa you must walk past it and if either one of you can't agree to that then they probably aren't the person you thought them to be/how they appeared to be in your eyes.

Don't expect things to be perfect, but don't think everything is lifeless either. That's what I believe, if they aren't the kind of person you want to be around....no matter how much you've known each other in the past, leave as soon as possible. warmaker said it the best way to me: (warmaker) ~ as long as they aren't lying to you to your face, you should take them at face value.  If they aren't who they used to be and they changed for the worse or you think they're changing for the worse, leave them.

Enii, short and simple

I am, what you say I am. If I wasn't, then why would you say I am.

I don't want to ramble and repeat the same thing over and over again, so hope my view helps (and Eminem )

Eniitan : I am sorry to ask this but it doesn't have anything to do with me right? Last time we had a PM conversation and I didn't understand what you meant sometimes and it got very serious so I started to think that I messed up. I'm sorry if that's the case.

To answer your question: Most of the time, you know how friends are, they do what they like but on the same time they care about you. If friends don't do that, sometimes it's just that they might be in a bad mood or something like that and you have to talk it out with them. If it happens more and more though, I would think about if they are really friends of you.

There are some people who are true friends. But then there are those who are two faces. Those are the ones you really have to look out for.