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Online dating

 

07-28-14 08:32 AM
Singelli is Offline
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I used to be solidly against online dating because of the dangers it presents.  I think those dangers are still present, but I also recognize that most of the world communicates through the web nowadays.  I highly think the recommendation to online date should be based upon a person's maturity level and ability to assess risk.  If someone is online dating just because they feel like they have to have a relationship, this is dangerous and a big no-no.  A young teenager who is willing to pass along information without any abandon.... is a big no-no.  There are many, many cases in which I'd shout "NO!" at the top of my lungs, for people who want to date online.

However, I do believe in some cases that it not only works, but works well.

I met my husband online and we've been married for over six years.  Granted, we also established a friendship before we considered a relationship.
I used to be solidly against online dating because of the dangers it presents.  I think those dangers are still present, but I also recognize that most of the world communicates through the web nowadays.  I highly think the recommendation to online date should be based upon a person's maturity level and ability to assess risk.  If someone is online dating just because they feel like they have to have a relationship, this is dangerous and a big no-no.  A young teenager who is willing to pass along information without any abandon.... is a big no-no.  There are many, many cases in which I'd shout "NO!" at the top of my lungs, for people who want to date online.

However, I do believe in some cases that it not only works, but works well.

I met my husband online and we've been married for over six years.  Granted, we also established a friendship before we considered a relationship.
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07-28-14 07:30 PM
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Well... The thing is I have done alot of online dating. Honestly I have came to the conclusion that I will not date online again unless I know for a fact I can be in person with that person eventually. The longest online relationship I had was about a year and the guy just really broke my heart basically. I believe that it is possible for online relationships to work out but it takes time and patience. Plus if you know your never going to be with them in person what is even the point.  I am not looking for anybody as of now. I believe that when the times right some guy even if it's just a friend now will make the move first. I honestly don't need a relationship and if I do it will be when the time is right.
Well... The thing is I have done alot of online dating. Honestly I have came to the conclusion that I will not date online again unless I know for a fact I can be in person with that person eventually. The longest online relationship I had was about a year and the guy just really broke my heart basically. I believe that it is possible for online relationships to work out but it takes time and patience. Plus if you know your never going to be with them in person what is even the point.  I am not looking for anybody as of now. I believe that when the times right some guy even if it's just a friend now will make the move first. I honestly don't need a relationship and if I do it will be when the time is right.
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07-29-14 06:46 PM
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I support online dating for the most part. There is no way for everyone in the world to meet their "special someone"  in their local area, so it only makes sense to create a location on the internet for people around the world to meet. The only problem is that it is amazingly easy to lie on the internet. You don't always get what you see. With that, I advise a word of caution for online daters. 
I support online dating for the most part. There is no way for everyone in the world to meet their "special someone"  in their local area, so it only makes sense to create a location on the internet for people around the world to meet. The only problem is that it is amazingly easy to lie on the internet. You don't always get what you see. With that, I advise a word of caution for online daters. 
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07-29-14 07:13 PM
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It all depends on what kind of dating you do and how far away the two of you are located. I'm all for online dating, since it feels a lot easier, but to an extent. I support it all the way, though.
It all depends on what kind of dating you do and how far away the two of you are located. I'm all for online dating, since it feels a lot easier, but to an extent. I support it all the way, though.
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07-29-14 09:05 PM
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I personally find it trivial and unnecessary, but for some people, it is more convenient because you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of meeting each other face to face, which is why it is so popular because you don't have to worry about appearances, and you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home. For the most part though, I am on the fence about the issue, it most likely isn't a very good idea because there have been too many cases where clueless teens have been kidnapped or abused by people they meet via online dating websites or just social media in general, this is precisely the reason why I don't have a facebook, twitter, etc, because it is unnecessarily risky and childish in my opinion.  There are just too many creeps and bad people lurking out there, and they will do just about anything to lure in helpless prey. 

On the other side of things however, most people nowadays talk and communicate with others through the internet, so it would only seem fitting that our social life, and love interests would be built around the internet. Plus, not everyone is gifted when it comes to great looks or people skills, thus, dating sites are the best option for said people. 

Overall though, I wouldn't say I am against the matter entirely, but I do think it is something to be handled with extreme caution because it is too risky an issue to be taken lightly. 
I personally find it trivial and unnecessary, but for some people, it is more convenient because you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of meeting each other face to face, which is why it is so popular because you don't have to worry about appearances, and you don't have to leave the comfort of your own home. For the most part though, I am on the fence about the issue, it most likely isn't a very good idea because there have been too many cases where clueless teens have been kidnapped or abused by people they meet via online dating websites or just social media in general, this is precisely the reason why I don't have a facebook, twitter, etc, because it is unnecessarily risky and childish in my opinion.  There are just too many creeps and bad people lurking out there, and they will do just about anything to lure in helpless prey. 

On the other side of things however, most people nowadays talk and communicate with others through the internet, so it would only seem fitting that our social life, and love interests would be built around the internet. Plus, not everyone is gifted when it comes to great looks or people skills, thus, dating sites are the best option for said people. 

Overall though, I wouldn't say I am against the matter entirely, but I do think it is something to be handled with extreme caution because it is too risky an issue to be taken lightly. 
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08-16-14 10:01 AM
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I used to not think much of it and believed it would never work however I decided to give POF a try and although I didn't spend a whole lot of time on it. Just as soon as I was about to give up on the site I found someone to date that's definitely the on I'm gonna be marrying in the future (were engaged) I'm sure it won't work for anyone and you really have to be careful with all the online creeps these days so if you do meet someone please be careful and meet up in a nice well let place I think the mall is probably the safer place to meet up. So don't rely on online dating but if your willing to take the risk with the crazy people online then I'd say go for it 
I used to not think much of it and believed it would never work however I decided to give POF a try and although I didn't spend a whole lot of time on it. Just as soon as I was about to give up on the site I found someone to date that's definitely the on I'm gonna be marrying in the future (were engaged) I'm sure it won't work for anyone and you really have to be careful with all the online creeps these days so if you do meet someone please be careful and meet up in a nice well let place I think the mall is probably the safer place to meet up. So don't rely on online dating but if your willing to take the risk with the crazy people online then I'd say go for it 
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08-18-14 06:20 PM
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iiGrinchii : I agree that internet dating doesn't prepare someone for the real world.  However, the relationship is in cyber space so that is where the thoughts, beliefs, and conversational skills are.  The internet *can* do away with all the things that aren't exciting and people can cut right to their belief systems, their thoughts and ideas, and it's a pure way to discover another person's core personality.

I, though, consider myself slightly unkind because I value physical appearance too.  My wife is insanely hot and takes care of herself.  She looks good.  The internet can help people find personalities but there's a physical side that has to be addressed, at least for me.  If a person doesn't take care of themself and sits online all day and doesn't nothing for fitness, that won't work either.

Ultimately, I'm an outside dog.  I need a girl who'll play sports, go out and do things, and is physically able to keep up with my high intensity lifestyle.  

The internet is a good place to start but it doesn't replace real life.
iiGrinchii : I agree that internet dating doesn't prepare someone for the real world.  However, the relationship is in cyber space so that is where the thoughts, beliefs, and conversational skills are.  The internet *can* do away with all the things that aren't exciting and people can cut right to their belief systems, their thoughts and ideas, and it's a pure way to discover another person's core personality.

I, though, consider myself slightly unkind because I value physical appearance too.  My wife is insanely hot and takes care of herself.  She looks good.  The internet can help people find personalities but there's a physical side that has to be addressed, at least for me.  If a person doesn't take care of themself and sits online all day and doesn't nothing for fitness, that won't work either.

Ultimately, I'm an outside dog.  I need a girl who'll play sports, go out and do things, and is physically able to keep up with my high intensity lifestyle.  

The internet is a good place to start but it doesn't replace real life.
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09-26-14 12:35 PM
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I think i can work but it cant ever replace the real life experience of a relationship. Im not against it but people should be cautious since you never know what can happen.  
I think i can work but it cant ever replace the real life experience of a relationship. Im not against it but people should be cautious since you never know what can happen.  
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09-26-14 12:40 PM
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I believe that it can work because I have seen it work with people many times and I have heard tons of stories from people who I know. I have tried it a couple of times myself in the past, though it hasn't worked out as I would have hoped for me, but I do believe that it works and that it is very common.
I believe that it can work because I have seen it work with people many times and I have heard tons of stories from people who I know. I have tried it a couple of times myself in the past, though it hasn't worked out as I would have hoped for me, but I do believe that it works and that it is very common.
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09-29-14 07:34 PM
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I am against it for a few reasons. One, since most long distance relationships do not work out the probability is low that yours will. That is why so many people with partners in the military cheat. Yes your mom says you are special but look at the numbers. You think you are so special that you can really make it work when so many other special people couldn't? Second, trust is easy to lose but hard to earn. How can you really trust someone from so far away? It is very very hard. Third, if there is no physical connection, the relationship is almost null. Think about it, what is a relationship? Saying I love you to your man overseas doing his job at a exclusive resort in Tokyo? That is not going to work. He sending you flowers? That won't work. We need touch, we need oxytocin. Don't know what Oxytocin is? Google it, you will thank me you did. If you cannot even give a simple hug, there is no real relationship. But relationships aren't just physicalness! It also isn't just meaningless words and emotions that you convey through snail mail or Skype. A relationship is something that has strong bonds and it require both the mental and physical part and this is a biological thing. Fourth and lastly, Online dating is only good if it is like match.com that takes place close by and that is it. Nothing speaks more stupidity than two 13 year olds saying I love you in their favorite mmorpg chat. I pity that. People say it works and that is a lie, it is denial. IF it works then you will not be resenting to your friends that you aren't getting any sex because your gf is someone online in Madrid. I've been there and done that and geez was it a waste of time, so many people saying lol ahahaha and I didn't understand while playing Starcraft. Well now I understand. I need my girl here, and I want to feel her close to me. I am not making out with my webcam to pretend I am doing that with her when she is a thousand miles away. Good grief. 

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I am against it for a few reasons. One, since most long distance relationships do not work out the probability is low that yours will. That is why so many people with partners in the military cheat. Yes your mom says you are special but look at the numbers. You think you are so special that you can really make it work when so many other special people couldn't? Second, trust is easy to lose but hard to earn. How can you really trust someone from so far away? It is very very hard. Third, if there is no physical connection, the relationship is almost null. Think about it, what is a relationship? Saying I love you to your man overseas doing his job at a exclusive resort in Tokyo? That is not going to work. He sending you flowers? That won't work. We need touch, we need oxytocin. Don't know what Oxytocin is? Google it, you will thank me you did. If you cannot even give a simple hug, there is no real relationship. But relationships aren't just physicalness! It also isn't just meaningless words and emotions that you convey through snail mail or Skype. A relationship is something that has strong bonds and it require both the mental and physical part and this is a biological thing. Fourth and lastly, Online dating is only good if it is like match.com that takes place close by and that is it. Nothing speaks more stupidity than two 13 year olds saying I love you in their favorite mmorpg chat. I pity that. People say it works and that is a lie, it is denial. IF it works then you will not be resenting to your friends that you aren't getting any sex because your gf is someone online in Madrid. I've been there and done that and geez was it a waste of time, so many people saying lol ahahaha and I didn't understand while playing Starcraft. Well now I understand. I need my girl here, and I want to feel her close to me. I am not making out with my webcam to pretend I am doing that with her when she is a thousand miles away. Good grief. 

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09-29-14 09:29 PM
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I think online dating is a bad thing. You can never trust anything because anyone can lie in real life when you meet them and it is so much easier online. I feel as though when you "fall" for someone behind a computer screen it is not real love. Love is when you make a connection emotionally with someone and to do that you have to know who they really are and online dating cannot and will not give you this. If you are someone looking for one night stands then go ahead. But if you are looking for a real relationship that will lead to you holding hands as you are dying then meet someone locally because that is the best way.
I think online dating is a bad thing. You can never trust anything because anyone can lie in real life when you meet them and it is so much easier online. I feel as though when you "fall" for someone behind a computer screen it is not real love. Love is when you make a connection emotionally with someone and to do that you have to know who they really are and online dating cannot and will not give you this. If you are someone looking for one night stands then go ahead. But if you are looking for a real relationship that will lead to you holding hands as you are dying then meet someone locally because that is the best way.
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10-10-14 09:45 PM
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iiGrinchii : I am not 16+ i am one year short but the guy i am talking about is above 16. Ok so guy x signed up for a dating site and met a girl that he said was perfect but she lives really far away.They are seprated by two states. So they have been dating long distance for awhile but he gets depressed sometimes becouse he can't see her in real life only on a coumputer screen when they skype 
iiGrinchii : I am not 16+ i am one year short but the guy i am talking about is above 16. Ok so guy x signed up for a dating site and met a girl that he said was perfect but she lives really far away.They are seprated by two states. So they have been dating long distance for awhile but he gets depressed sometimes becouse he can't see her in real life only on a coumputer screen when they skype 
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10-12-14 07:17 PM
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iiGrinchii : Online dating is, in my opinion, not a good idea. There are just some things that are best done face to face. Especially something as delicate, important, and sometimes dangerous as that. But that's only my opinion. It's not like it's going to mean much. Since I am not an expert in this field.
iiGrinchii : Online dating is, in my opinion, not a good idea. There are just some things that are best done face to face. Especially something as delicate, important, and sometimes dangerous as that. But that's only my opinion. It's not like it's going to mean much. Since I am not an expert in this field.
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10-12-14 09:31 PM
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I'm all for it. There are people like me out there that don't get out very much, so they can't really find people they're interested in. That was a problem for a good friend of mine. At age 27, he'd been single for several years, busy working fulltime and going to college. He signed up for an online dating website. 2 years later, he's married with 2 boys, one 4 (stepson) and one a few months old. He is easily the happiest I've ever seen him. As far as I'm concerned, that's a good sign online dating is worth trying
I'm all for it. There are people like me out there that don't get out very much, so they can't really find people they're interested in. That was a problem for a good friend of mine. At age 27, he'd been single for several years, busy working fulltime and going to college. He signed up for an online dating website. 2 years later, he's married with 2 boys, one 4 (stepson) and one a few months old. He is easily the happiest I've ever seen him. As far as I'm concerned, that's a good sign online dating is worth trying
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10-19-14 09:31 PM
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I'm all for it, really. When I was 16, I signed up for a brony facebook site, called iBrony, and hung out in the chatroom. Eventually I started going out with one of my fellow chatters, who was 18 at the time and lived in England. We dated for only a month and a half or so but I thought it was a good relationship nevertheless. I'm thankful, though, that I have a boyfriend who I've been going out with for the past year, in the real world, and it's just so much better to be able to physically hug your significant other <3
I'm all for it, really. When I was 16, I signed up for a brony facebook site, called iBrony, and hung out in the chatroom. Eventually I started going out with one of my fellow chatters, who was 18 at the time and lived in England. We dated for only a month and a half or so but I thought it was a good relationship nevertheless. I'm thankful, though, that I have a boyfriend who I've been going out with for the past year, in the real world, and it's just so much better to be able to physically hug your significant other <3
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10-19-14 11:26 PM
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I completely support it. I started almost as soon as the internet was a thing, and for all the horror stories I've heard from people trying, I met my wife through online dating. Also i've met past dates and now great friends online, some stayed with me for years, while physically close pals drifted off.
I completely support it. I started almost as soon as the internet was a thing, and for all the horror stories I've heard from people trying, I met my wife through online dating. Also i've met past dates and now great friends online, some stayed with me for years, while physically close pals drifted off.
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(edited by endings on 10-19-14 11:28 PM)    

10-19-14 11:57 PM
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   I've tried online dating multiple times. Most of the people seemed really cool and at first things went fairly smoothly. They'd talk to me as much as they could, they were sweet, showed me new bands and complimented me and my art. But it is very hard. Because for one, personally I enjoy being able to see someone, talk to them face to face, hold their hand, cuddle, kiss them, watch movies together, roam around the woods and any other kind of crazy thing! But after a while they started asking me to do things I wouldn't want to do, and get mad at me if I didn't do it. And whenever I called it off, they would have a terrible freak out on me.
   What I think of it also, is you've never truly met the person, you don't know how they truly act, and you don't know if they're putting on a show and acting like the person you want them to be. So no, I don't quite agree with online dating because of my experiences with it, but if some people can make it work, then good for them!
   I've tried online dating multiple times. Most of the people seemed really cool and at first things went fairly smoothly. They'd talk to me as much as they could, they were sweet, showed me new bands and complimented me and my art. But it is very hard. Because for one, personally I enjoy being able to see someone, talk to them face to face, hold their hand, cuddle, kiss them, watch movies together, roam around the woods and any other kind of crazy thing! But after a while they started asking me to do things I wouldn't want to do, and get mad at me if I didn't do it. And whenever I called it off, they would have a terrible freak out on me.
   What I think of it also, is you've never truly met the person, you don't know how they truly act, and you don't know if they're putting on a show and acting like the person you want them to be. So no, I don't quite agree with online dating because of my experiences with it, but if some people can make it work, then good for them!
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10-20-14 10:46 AM
Munkkikahvi is Offline
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I've never tried online dating and I don't know anyone who has tried it. I don't really hate the idea of online dating and I don't actually like it very much either, but I believe that it can work for someone. Not for me though, because I'm that kind of person who wants first to meet with someone before starts dating him. 
I've never tried online dating and I don't know anyone who has tried it. I don't really hate the idea of online dating and I don't actually like it very much either, but I believe that it can work for someone. Not for me though, because I'm that kind of person who wants first to meet with someone before starts dating him. 
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11-18-14 08:57 PM
Latimew is Offline
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Boy, do I have a lot to say about this topic. I guess I'll start off with my story (I'll try to keep it relatively short).

Some time ago when I was a teenager in High school, I met a girl named Serah. She was sweet, kind-hearted, and really fun to talk to. At the time, I didn't talk to people through IMs very much - I mostly just played multiplayer games on the computer. But after talking to her for a while, I stopped playing those games all together and just spent all of my time talking to her. I went to a crappy school that only had around 100 students for Middle school AND High school (6th-12th, and that is not an exaggeration; it was pathetically small), so I had very, VERY limited choices when it came to women. I didn't really share any interests with any of them, and their personalities were annoying to me. But Serah was different. She had similar interests with me and we connected. After some time, I fell in love with her. But, in the end, it all failed. Long story short: she kept lying (which is a very common thing with people on the Internet; it's too easy to lie) and staying offline for months at a time, so I just gave up on her. Later on, I met somebody else named Laura. She was very amazing, and even added me to her Facebook account so that I could see some pictures of her. However, it ended the same. She lied about where she lived (among other things), and even though the pictures are pretty convincing, I still have some doubts. Plus, when I asked to video chat her, she said she didn't have a webcam. Then, when she claimed she finally got one, she said she didn't want to video chat me because she "didn't feel like it" even though she said in the past that she couldn't wait. Then she didn't get back on for months after that. I decided to stop online dating all together and try my luck at meeting someone in College.

Although, even with that story, I think online dating is a good thing. For some people, it can flourish and become something great. For others, like myself, it can end in tragedy. But either way, it's memorable. I still look back on the days when I was truly happy, because I was in love and they loved me back (or so they claimed) and I cherish those memories greatly. And although I do wish things would have turned out better, I am not traumatized from it (even though I got my heart broken twice) and I've learned a lot from it (it might be hard at first, but you'd be amazed at how quickly you get over it once you realize all the crap they put you through). I've learned to take anything people you don't know very well with a grain of salt - that way you won't be really surprised when you find out they've lied to you about something.

I'd say that as long as you know some pointers (which I'm willing to give from my own personal experience through PMs if anyone is interested) and the risks of online dating, I say go for it.
Boy, do I have a lot to say about this topic. I guess I'll start off with my story (I'll try to keep it relatively short).

Some time ago when I was a teenager in High school, I met a girl named Serah. She was sweet, kind-hearted, and really fun to talk to. At the time, I didn't talk to people through IMs very much - I mostly just played multiplayer games on the computer. But after talking to her for a while, I stopped playing those games all together and just spent all of my time talking to her. I went to a crappy school that only had around 100 students for Middle school AND High school (6th-12th, and that is not an exaggeration; it was pathetically small), so I had very, VERY limited choices when it came to women. I didn't really share any interests with any of them, and their personalities were annoying to me. But Serah was different. She had similar interests with me and we connected. After some time, I fell in love with her. But, in the end, it all failed. Long story short: she kept lying (which is a very common thing with people on the Internet; it's too easy to lie) and staying offline for months at a time, so I just gave up on her. Later on, I met somebody else named Laura. She was very amazing, and even added me to her Facebook account so that I could see some pictures of her. However, it ended the same. She lied about where she lived (among other things), and even though the pictures are pretty convincing, I still have some doubts. Plus, when I asked to video chat her, she said she didn't have a webcam. Then, when she claimed she finally got one, she said she didn't want to video chat me because she "didn't feel like it" even though she said in the past that she couldn't wait. Then she didn't get back on for months after that. I decided to stop online dating all together and try my luck at meeting someone in College.

Although, even with that story, I think online dating is a good thing. For some people, it can flourish and become something great. For others, like myself, it can end in tragedy. But either way, it's memorable. I still look back on the days when I was truly happy, because I was in love and they loved me back (or so they claimed) and I cherish those memories greatly. And although I do wish things would have turned out better, I am not traumatized from it (even though I got my heart broken twice) and I've learned a lot from it (it might be hard at first, but you'd be amazed at how quickly you get over it once you realize all the crap they put you through). I've learned to take anything people you don't know very well with a grain of salt - that way you won't be really surprised when you find out they've lied to you about something.

I'd say that as long as you know some pointers (which I'm willing to give from my own personal experience through PMs if anyone is interested) and the risks of online dating, I say go for it.
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11-18-14 09:49 PM
oldschoolboyz is Offline
| ID: 1105765 | 324 Words

oldschoolboyz
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Latimew : I really liked your post I must say and have whole hearted agreement with it. If online dating is the thing for someone they should go for it.

To share from my particular treasure chest vault: I meet my exfiance online a few years ago. We skipped the dating and got into a relationship. After an incident which could have cost him his life I asked him to marry me and he said yes. It was momentous and we were really happy. I went so far as to get us a place to live where we could legally marry and move there. Not long after that though he disappeared from online, accounts deleted and such. I have no idea of what happened and there is no saying what did. It is simply a past now that I am not saddened by but, thankful for. After that happened I moved back to where I was originally from and continued life anew. That was roughly three years ago a few months ago. Around the time of that anniversary I just happened to decide to go online again after some time off and that is where I meet my current fiance. We live much further apart than my previous relationship ( I am usa and he is uk) but, we both feel that love for each other and have a wonderful bond. I will admit to not seeing him on webcam, only pictures though he has told me he does plan on getting one which I am holding him to. Really, I would just love to see him "live action" lol as a picture is nice but, I want to be closer than that.

So yes, online dating is a go if it is right for you. I hope I may be able to share my own success story on this with all of you someday. Until then thank you for sharing such a wonderful topic.


Latimew : I really liked your post I must say and have whole hearted agreement with it. If online dating is the thing for someone they should go for it.

To share from my particular treasure chest vault: I meet my exfiance online a few years ago. We skipped the dating and got into a relationship. After an incident which could have cost him his life I asked him to marry me and he said yes. It was momentous and we were really happy. I went so far as to get us a place to live where we could legally marry and move there. Not long after that though he disappeared from online, accounts deleted and such. I have no idea of what happened and there is no saying what did. It is simply a past now that I am not saddened by but, thankful for. After that happened I moved back to where I was originally from and continued life anew. That was roughly three years ago a few months ago. Around the time of that anniversary I just happened to decide to go online again after some time off and that is where I meet my current fiance. We live much further apart than my previous relationship ( I am usa and he is uk) but, we both feel that love for each other and have a wonderful bond. I will admit to not seeing him on webcam, only pictures though he has told me he does plan on getting one which I am holding him to. Really, I would just love to see him "live action" lol as a picture is nice but, I want to be closer than that.

So yes, online dating is a go if it is right for you. I hope I may be able to share my own success story on this with all of you someday. Until then thank you for sharing such a wonderful topic.

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