I didn't really feel like it would be appropriate to post this as a 'returning member' thread, because I'll always be here. However, once again, life took a mean turn for me, and I had to step back for awhile. I know by now, most of you probably see me as someone who 'comes and goes'.  Sadly, I'm not the person I've given the impression to be.  I'm not unstable, over-emotional, or dramatic.  In fact, I'm bubbly, hyper, happy, and loving.  I simply have had a very, very rough past two years.  I seem to have periods of time where things go great, and then other periods where those great things just fall apart.  I become happy and healthy and start making promises... then horrible things happen and I forget those promises I made and I disappear.

I can only assure you... this isn't me. I know my actions have shown you otherwise.  And this time, what happened really was... something worth stepping back over.  Unlike other instances where I've shared my troubles with the blue world of vizzed... I will not be talking about what happened.  I just hope you can trust me in saying that I didn't over-exaggerate in my response by withdrawing.

However, I have good news! I seem to be moving up and out of my depression. I remember it hit me back in July the worst... and I left all of you for nearly three months.  I came back... but I didn't quite feel the same. I tried to be involved and to interact socially... but the efforts were awkward and pretty unsuccessful. I started doing less and less because I was busy and still in the depression I was trying to climb out of.  I changed my focus on vizzed and had a more difficult time being "Singelli".  Then, negative events kept baring their ugly heads in my life, and I got taken back two steps every time I progressed forward.  I had a few small conversations with you all, but it was never anything meaningful, and I felt I was responding out of obligation.

No more, vizzed.

I want to fall in love with you again.    Not that I've fallen OUT of love with vizzed..I just... want the kind of friendships and conversations I had before.  So many of you call me the 'mother of vizzed' or say that I guided you or helped you in some way.... and you know the funny thing?  I don't have an inkling as to what you are referring to.  It makes me feel loved and special... and makes me feel glad to know that I've had a positive impact, but for the life of me, I can't figure out how I've done it.  Hearing it a few more times as I go through about 50 pms (poor David! How does he do it?!), I desire to get back in touch.

And so I created this thread.  I really want to know you again. Yes, YOU reading this, and your friends who might not read it.  Tell me what's been going on with you, and let's just have a nice conversation. Direct others this way, so we may become reacquainted. I only hope this thread doesn't get shut down.  Trying to sort through my pms is taking a lot of time..... who knew I'd get so bogged down??

Anyways, I love you all, and I hope to hear from you again!

Somehow I managed to miss this whole thing. I never knew you "went away", but I did wonder why I hadn't seen you in a while. Welcome back! Glad to see that you are doing better!

To be honest.... I was somewhat unaware of what was going on (basically like what tgags said), but thats my fault for basically falling asleep. 

Anyways, it's great to see things get better for a great member of vizzed!

tgags123 :
mohammedroxx3 :
But how have you two been? What have you been up to?  What's the best thing that happened to you in the last week? Details, details!

And it's okay that you didn't notice my absence. You have your own set of friends. haha.  I'm glad that you were happy and content, and it's awesome you have people to talk to!

uhh... I'm not really sure. Last week was pretty much normal for me and everything was going fine... I guess. But it's good to see everything go normal instead of worse. lol. Sorry if I seem a bit speechless. XD

Well, anyways, have fun in the world of vizzed!

Is it bad that I read "No more, vizzed." as "No more vizzed"?  And I'm glad to see you back!  Things will get brighter, I promise you.  We all have our ups and downs, but we'll get back up if we're  willing.  

Glad to see you being positive again Kelli. I know life awas rough on you and you had to step back. I understand, I would of done the same. When I first returned to Vizzed on December 2012, you were the first one who pm me . Didn't know who you were but you were nice and all... Crushed me a bit when you left, even though I didn't exactly... Treat you like how I treat you now haha.

I appreciate that you gave me a second chance and became best friends, your closest friend to be exact

Anyway, enough of my rambling. I'm just really glad that you are back being positive, even though we chat every day lol.

Love you best friend

Singelli : I definitely noticed your absence, I just didn't know why. I only found out recently that you took a little break, but I knew something had happened.

I have been good. Nothing really interesting has been going on in my life. I hosted the CP VCS last month. That was fun, but difficult. It was hard to judge who should be DQ'd and who shouldn't, especially since staff positions were the prize. EideticMemory, zanderlex, thelastrequim, Razor-987 and I (with some help from bec) bought Innocent Town. Oh, and my (still living) great grandma turned 101 a few weeks ago. And uh... yeah that is pretty much it.

People come, people go, but in your instances, I don't think you ever truly left us.
I know this may sound cliche, but you are a special person. There are good reasons to why people call you those titles. Whether you currently know them or not.

I think despite you having this much bad luck, you keeping on coming back, whether it's for long or not, just goes ahead and proves that.

Hi there, Singelli

supernerd117 :  I don't know if it's BAD, but it's pretty funny. haha. I know I've talked with you a little bit, but not nearly enough. How are you?  

becerra95 : You goofball.  I love you too, though I already talk to you enough.    I thought you pm'd me though?  You sure about that?

tgags123 :  At least I'm alive and healthy... I can't be more blessed than that.  Plus, the appropriate parties involved have forgiven me from what I'm aware, and I also have forgiven what was done to me.  I'm just lucky the situation did not reach it's potential. Now THAT would have been scary indeed.

I didn't know you hosted the CP VCS. I would ask you if it was fun, but you already answered that for me. XD  Who won?  What did you do with your forum?  I'll look around if you don't tell me.  As for your great grandma though, that is AWESOME!  Is this the one you shared a video with us about your interview on the great depression?  She's a lovely lady!

FunnyFurret :  Aww.. *blushes * Well that's awfully sweet of you to say.  You have me all flustered!  I don't really know what makes me different from anyone else, but I'm glad to bring some happiness into other people's lives.  I'm looking forward to running more of my contests with monetary prizes, but I think it might be awhile before I'm able.

And hi. hehe.
what's new with you?

A user of this :  I'm glad I'm feeling better too. Let's pray that I don't sink back into that depression, even if I must face more trials!  I can only get stronger, right? What's new with YOU?

Uhm.... No, you pm me first lol. We talked about the incident about a former Vizzed member and his/her actions, remember?


Anyway, make sure this is your final hiatus on Vizzed

I see you put up your comment wall back up

Singelli : I'm doing fantastic.  Thank you!  The ol' fam is doing OK, as well.

Singelli : tornadocam won, but tornadocam, mohammedroxx3, and EideticMemory were all awarded staff positions for finishing in the top 3. Yep, the same great grandma! So will you be trying to get a staff positiom again?

Singelli : Not too much is new. I've for the most part gotten through most of the issues I've had since we last spoke (Depression, self-identity, all that.). I'm glad to finally get to see you happy. So that put a positive spin on my day today.

The silly question is: Why do you care if we think you're unstable, blahblahblah?  We know you.  That's enough.  

Warmaker?  I'm 32, I'm an athletic , sports-driven guy who's married going on 8 years with a new daughter.  She's 6 weeks old.  I work at a YMCA, I push the fitness side of things and I love competition and debate.  I'm a fiscal conservative, social liberal and I live in Michigan.  I try to provide very simple, straight forward opinions, points of view, and suggestions if people ask for them.  I don't have the social interaction some folks have on here and I don't really consider this my primary or secondary place for friends and conversation.  It's a hobby because I like NES games.  It's also a place I can help mentor young men who need guidance or a non-judgy ear when they want to talk about their lives.

I don't know about you being Mother of Vizzed but I have read enough of your comments to know you care and you try to help others.  You don't attack people and that's all a person has to do to be welcome anywhere.

Welcome back.

Singe! I've been waiting for this day. You are now a part of Vizzed, this website honestly isn't the same without you.

My computer was dead, so you've probably been more active than me. Nice to see you trying to get active again though

becerra95 :  Yes, yes, I remember the conversation! I just thought you messaged me first to ask a question.  You'll have to pm me about why I messaged you first over the matter?  O.o

And I'm going to try and not take a hiatus again, but as my past year and a half have shown....  :/  But hey, let's have faith that I can remember God is my strength!

supernerd117 :  We still need to talk more.  Oh! I saw that new library we spoke about. It definitely wasn't there when I was down there living with my parents.  I forgot to tell you about that. It looks very nice and well kept.  How often do you visit it?

tgags123 :  It's so awesome that your great grandmother is still alive!  And so full of energy!  How is her health, if I might ask?  Is it impressive for her age?  I'll pray for her to continually be well and strong.

As for the staff position, I hate to say it.. but probably not.  I'd feel way too guilty by this point. I keep making promises and then breaking them and disappearing.  A year ago when I applied for local mod  .... (whoooooa it's really been that long?!?!?)  I never foresaw how terrible this year would be for me emotionally.  It was always my dream to work up to global mod, but I just don't feel deserving or fit for it any more.  However, maybe in the summer I can take a temporary job and get back to helping tRIUNE out some.  I do miss it and enjoyed helping vizzed become a better place through my work... as insignificant as it was. Hey... someone's gotta worry over the small details. hehe

A user of this : Your positive spin put a positive spin on MY day!    What was your best moment today?

warmaker :  Oh dear... as usual, you give some of the most thoughtful responses to my threads.   I was hoping you'd be one of those to respond, as I miss reading your well-formulated and wise posts.  You're terribly sweet, as well.  I did remember most of the stuff you said about yourself... but what did you name your daughter?   I bet she's so adorable!  Can I hound you for any pictures through a pm or email?  My twin just had a baby and I got to hold him at 11 days old. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.

I have, however, let my health decline to the point of gaining quite a bit more weight.  Although I'm not ... waaaaay overweight, I'm definitely heavier than I should be, and at the heaviest I've been in my life. Most of my clothes won't fit me very properly, but I can't afford a new wardrobe. I recently started working out... (yet another cycle of motivation... hopefully I can make it last longer this time)

I admire that you try to mentor young men.  I think you fit the role wonderfully, and you make a great example to the young men here.  There is a lot they can learn about you, and I know that even if you are unaware, you've made an impact.

Light Knight :  Awwww, I missed you!    I think you're exaggerating, but I'll blush anyways. XD  What's the oddest ingredient of your dinner tonight?

BNuge :  I'm kinda surprised to hear from you, but still thrilled.  Did you get your computer fixed?  Maybe we should talk more via pm if you ever get the time. I'm not sure why it is that we've not been better acquainted. After all, you're somewhat of a legend here, right?  

Singelli : He health is great. She still walks without a cane, lives by herself, and is only on a few medications. And she still cooks amazing food! Thank you

I don't think you need to feel guilty. Everyone has tough times in their lives. Plus, you are one of the biggest contributors to the site.