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Life progressing kinda fast

 

07-22-09 10:42 PM
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I'm starting to get confused about life. Stuff is just happening too fast. I'm growing up too fast for me to adjust.

My parents lost their good jobs and now we're only make 60% of what we were.

I'll be 16 in two days and I still can't find a job.

My parents are discussing splitting up.

I wanna back off of religion but my mother is pressuring me about it.

I'm keeping tons of secrets from both of my parents because I know they would be crushed if they knew.

Anyways, long story short, I'm getting depressed about all of these things. I can't exactly come out and talk about them with my parents, they've got enough going on with their lives as it is. I'm just kinda confused about what to do.

Anybody advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't mind speaking about any of the subjects, so don't worry about trying to make things sound pretty. if you need to, just come out and say it.
I'm starting to get confused about life. Stuff is just happening too fast. I'm growing up too fast for me to adjust.

My parents lost their good jobs and now we're only make 60% of what we were.

I'll be 16 in two days and I still can't find a job.

My parents are discussing splitting up.

I wanna back off of religion but my mother is pressuring me about it.

I'm keeping tons of secrets from both of my parents because I know they would be crushed if they knew.

Anyways, long story short, I'm getting depressed about all of these things. I can't exactly come out and talk about them with my parents, they've got enough going on with their lives as it is. I'm just kinda confused about what to do.

Anybody advice would be greatly appreciated. I don't mind speaking about any of the subjects, so don't worry about trying to make things sound pretty. if you need to, just come out and say it.
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07-22-09 11:26 PM
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.. What kind of secrets are we talking about here?
Unintended Pregnancies? Drugs? Drinking Problems? Sexuality Confusion?

In any case, I know of one good method to relieve said stress.
Talk about it.
Find someone you would trust with your life and talk about it.
After all, misery loves company.

Next, why are you looking for a job at 16? Loose pocket change? Or family reasons?

Next, your mother will probably continue to pressure you. There is 2 steps at this juncture.
#1. Rebel, claim that she has no right to imprint upon you a force-set religion, and that after taking said "Religion" as an opinion of thought, you've thought about it and did not like it and are now backing off.
#2. Wait it out. Just 2 more years buddy... 2 More years...

And last, of course you're confused. A wise man once told me, everyone is confused at this age. Me, you, pals of mine. Just wait. It will become clear with time. Most things do.

Oh, and for a final note, I don't have much advice on the splitting up thing, but I would, personally, claim them to be both cowards for not being able to finish raising you before splitting up.

This is of course me...

Tell me if this helps.
.. What kind of secrets are we talking about here?
Unintended Pregnancies? Drugs? Drinking Problems? Sexuality Confusion?

In any case, I know of one good method to relieve said stress.
Talk about it.
Find someone you would trust with your life and talk about it.
After all, misery loves company.

Next, why are you looking for a job at 16? Loose pocket change? Or family reasons?

Next, your mother will probably continue to pressure you. There is 2 steps at this juncture.
#1. Rebel, claim that she has no right to imprint upon you a force-set religion, and that after taking said "Religion" as an opinion of thought, you've thought about it and did not like it and are now backing off.
#2. Wait it out. Just 2 more years buddy... 2 More years...

And last, of course you're confused. A wise man once told me, everyone is confused at this age. Me, you, pals of mine. Just wait. It will become clear with time. Most things do.

Oh, and for a final note, I don't have much advice on the splitting up thing, but I would, personally, claim them to be both cowards for not being able to finish raising you before splitting up.

This is of course me...

Tell me if this helps.
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07-22-09 11:28 PM
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For one, don't worry about being jobless at 16. It's not easy to get jobs at that age.

About the secrets, try to see a therapist or someone like that to discuss them with. Also, if you don't mind sharing, what category do those secrets fall under? Maybe they aren't as bad as you think

Religion isn't something you should be forced into. Do what you want with that. Your parents can't control what you truly believe. I'm not saying to ditch it, just that it's your choice.

Your parents splitting up sounds like it's a terrible idea. Convince them that it's for the best that they stay together; family comes first.

That's what I got for now
For one, don't worry about being jobless at 16. It's not easy to get jobs at that age.

About the secrets, try to see a therapist or someone like that to discuss them with. Also, if you don't mind sharing, what category do those secrets fall under? Maybe they aren't as bad as you think

Religion isn't something you should be forced into. Do what you want with that. Your parents can't control what you truly believe. I'm not saying to ditch it, just that it's your choice.

Your parents splitting up sounds like it's a terrible idea. Convince them that it's for the best that they stay together; family comes first.

That's what I got for now
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07-23-09 04:05 AM
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@ Neyro and Ziggy:

The secrets I mean (or the worst of them) are the typical things. Sexual identity, preferences, fetishes, etc. I know neither of them would approve of anything about any of it. I'd go into more detail, but I don't wanna scare away anyone.

The job is for various reasons. Mainly because I'm tired of being poor. Like I said, our budget was cut by almost half so we've made A LOT of cut backs. I wanna get some stuff for myself so I have something to do, and use the rest to help pay bills.

With the religion issue... I should have mentioned. I'm very timid around my parents (my mother especially) which is the only thing preventing me from just telling them flat-out I wanna lay off religion for a bit.

@ Neyro:

Again, the timid thing comes into play. I could never talk to them like that. In added detail, it's my mom's idea. She's just a stupid... err... I'm not sure about the language restrictions here so I'll leave that word out. But anyways, she's constantly throwing tantrums. My dad's an awesome guy and she freaked on him for getting a little drunk on his day off (he gets ONE day off a week and works 18 hours a day between two jobs).

Also as a side note, I'd be willing to guarantee I'm not confused about my sexuality. I experimented and discovered early on, and I've been comfortable with it for several years now.

@ Ziggy:

My dad wants to stay together, it's my mom trying to split. She's completely irrational about it and won't listen to a thing I say on the matter.

And the timid thing comes into play in about religion, too. Not to mention I do believe in it. It's hard to explain, but I've got this feeling like I'm already damned for my actions so there's no point going. Quitting the church would pretty much spark me telling my parents EVERYTHING.


But thanks, both of you. It's nice to see that there are some folks out there willing to give a helping hand to a complete stranger. It means a lot, it really does.
@ Neyro and Ziggy:

The secrets I mean (or the worst of them) are the typical things. Sexual identity, preferences, fetishes, etc. I know neither of them would approve of anything about any of it. I'd go into more detail, but I don't wanna scare away anyone.

The job is for various reasons. Mainly because I'm tired of being poor. Like I said, our budget was cut by almost half so we've made A LOT of cut backs. I wanna get some stuff for myself so I have something to do, and use the rest to help pay bills.

With the religion issue... I should have mentioned. I'm very timid around my parents (my mother especially) which is the only thing preventing me from just telling them flat-out I wanna lay off religion for a bit.

@ Neyro:

Again, the timid thing comes into play. I could never talk to them like that. In added detail, it's my mom's idea. She's just a stupid... err... I'm not sure about the language restrictions here so I'll leave that word out. But anyways, she's constantly throwing tantrums. My dad's an awesome guy and she freaked on him for getting a little drunk on his day off (he gets ONE day off a week and works 18 hours a day between two jobs).

Also as a side note, I'd be willing to guarantee I'm not confused about my sexuality. I experimented and discovered early on, and I've been comfortable with it for several years now.

@ Ziggy:

My dad wants to stay together, it's my mom trying to split. She's completely irrational about it and won't listen to a thing I say on the matter.

And the timid thing comes into play in about religion, too. Not to mention I do believe in it. It's hard to explain, but I've got this feeling like I'm already damned for my actions so there's no point going. Quitting the church would pretty much spark me telling my parents EVERYTHING.


But thanks, both of you. It's nice to see that there are some folks out there willing to give a helping hand to a complete stranger. It means a lot, it really does.
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07-23-09 05:00 AM
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Originally posted by Urso Fofinho
The secrets I mean (or the worst of them) are the typical things. Sexual identity, preferences, fetishes, etc.


I take it you're a homosexual furry.

Anyways, do hat Neyro said, find a friend who you trust enough to tell these things and talk to him about it. I personally have a person I talk things out with and get advice from, it's quite handy.


Oh and grow some spine around your parents, not to tell them off but at least stand up for yourself.
Originally posted by Urso Fofinho
The secrets I mean (or the worst of them) are the typical things. Sexual identity, preferences, fetishes, etc.


I take it you're a homosexual furry.

Anyways, do hat Neyro said, find a friend who you trust enough to tell these things and talk to him about it. I personally have a person I talk things out with and get advice from, it's quite handy.


Oh and grow some spine around your parents, not to tell them off but at least stand up for yourself.
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07-23-09 05:08 AM
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You were close, bisexual furry.
Way to uphold the stereotype, yeah?

And I don't have any friends that close to me, although my sister is very close to me. She's 32 and lives 500 miles away, but I'm not sure if telling her would be a good idea or not.

Sorry to tie in threads. But my main question on the Trust Point thread, Dragon master, was why I went down 2 trust points but it still said I only had one vote.

And I stand up for myself when needed, but with some things it's just different. I'm not sure. I just can't say what I want to say.
You were close, bisexual furry.
Way to uphold the stereotype, yeah?

And I don't have any friends that close to me, although my sister is very close to me. She's 32 and lives 500 miles away, but I'm not sure if telling her would be a good idea or not.

Sorry to tie in threads. But my main question on the Trust Point thread, Dragon master, was why I went down 2 trust points but it still said I only had one vote.

And I stand up for myself when needed, but with some things it's just different. I'm not sure. I just can't say what I want to say.
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07-23-09 05:20 AM
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Originally posted by Dragon master

Oh and grow some spine around your parents, not to tell them off but at least stand up for yourself.


I would have to agree with DM, you're gonna have to learn to become your own a little and not be afraid of what might happen if you confront your parents, it's better that they know where you stand so they can lay off in some areas. It might increase in other areas but you'll have a firmer ground to stand on.

The job I say is a good idea, do what you can that will relieve stress from your family but more importantly from your mind. A sense of you feeling like you've done all you could to help is better than regretting never doing something. It's hard to get a job, just keep truckin'. A good tip is to get job applications from the manager and every 2 or 3 days, hell, every day. As about it by walking into the place. That way they see your face and see that you are willing to do what you can to get a job and if you get an interview, I implore you to wear a shirt and a tie. It will express how professional you're taking the position regardless of your age.

As for religion, if you believe in it man. Don't stray from it or give it up. You need to be more stable with yourself. Giving up on things you believe in in life makes you question unnessissary things about yourself. If there is one thing I know about religion is that you can never be damned before judgement day come for you and it is not now. People make mistakes, we are human with free agency. As long as you are trying to do things right and stay close to God, forgiveness inevitable. Have a sincere heart about it. "People tend to serve God and try not to offend the Devil" I say you need to offend the Devil everyday. If religion is what you stand with, that is the encouragement I give you.

Feel free to continue to ask for advice, there are very wise people on this board, one or many of use can give you the encouragement that you need. We're there for you.

I'll continue to look into this thread to try and help you out. I'm sure other will as well.
Originally posted by Dragon master

Oh and grow some spine around your parents, not to tell them off but at least stand up for yourself.


I would have to agree with DM, you're gonna have to learn to become your own a little and not be afraid of what might happen if you confront your parents, it's better that they know where you stand so they can lay off in some areas. It might increase in other areas but you'll have a firmer ground to stand on.

The job I say is a good idea, do what you can that will relieve stress from your family but more importantly from your mind. A sense of you feeling like you've done all you could to help is better than regretting never doing something. It's hard to get a job, just keep truckin'. A good tip is to get job applications from the manager and every 2 or 3 days, hell, every day. As about it by walking into the place. That way they see your face and see that you are willing to do what you can to get a job and if you get an interview, I implore you to wear a shirt and a tie. It will express how professional you're taking the position regardless of your age.

As for religion, if you believe in it man. Don't stray from it or give it up. You need to be more stable with yourself. Giving up on things you believe in in life makes you question unnessissary things about yourself. If there is one thing I know about religion is that you can never be damned before judgement day come for you and it is not now. People make mistakes, we are human with free agency. As long as you are trying to do things right and stay close to God, forgiveness inevitable. Have a sincere heart about it. "People tend to serve God and try not to offend the Devil" I say you need to offend the Devil everyday. If religion is what you stand with, that is the encouragement I give you.

Feel free to continue to ask for advice, there are very wise people on this board, one or many of use can give you the encouragement that you need. We're there for you.

I'll continue to look into this thread to try and help you out. I'm sure other will as well.
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07-23-09 06:50 AM
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Firstly, these secrets are normal.
And if you really want to make it good, the moment you hit 18 you should set up some grand event and announce to your parents these secrets, then promptly leaving the household.
Or at the point when you do leave.

In any case,
In terms of Jobs, connections make it easy. Depending on what your Dad does, see if you can get him to set you up with one of his buddies or something to that effect.
And don't worry, it's almost impossible right now to get jobs at 16. :/

And with the religion, that's completely up to you. We, nor your parents, have no right to tell you what to be or what to believe in.
However, I do suggest one thing. Before quitting a faith, make sure you know what that faith actually is. This way, you won't have any regrets after you've reviewed the religion and seen it as "not fitting" for you.

Oh, and yes, you will eventually need to be a little more forceful/rebellious with your parents.

That's all for now.
Firstly, these secrets are normal.
And if you really want to make it good, the moment you hit 18 you should set up some grand event and announce to your parents these secrets, then promptly leaving the household.
Or at the point when you do leave.

In any case,
In terms of Jobs, connections make it easy. Depending on what your Dad does, see if you can get him to set you up with one of his buddies or something to that effect.
And don't worry, it's almost impossible right now to get jobs at 16. :/

And with the religion, that's completely up to you. We, nor your parents, have no right to tell you what to be or what to believe in.
However, I do suggest one thing. Before quitting a faith, make sure you know what that faith actually is. This way, you won't have any regrets after you've reviewed the religion and seen it as "not fitting" for you.

Oh, and yes, you will eventually need to be a little more forceful/rebellious with your parents.

That's all for now.
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07-23-09 06:10 PM
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Well, it's a recurring theme then... I just need to build up the guts to talk back sometime. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

And the only reason I feel like leaving the religion is because of how hypocritical I really am. Walking around talking about how you should do not, not do this, etc. etc. when in truth I do what I'm not supposed and ignore what I'm supposed to.

And Neyro, I like that suggestion. I actually haven't thought of telling them the day I leave. I'm not sure if I could, though, so what if I left a letter or something? Do you think that'd be able to deliver the same message?

And my dad offered me a job where he works, but I had to decline. At the time I was still in school (no transportation to get there in time) and after homework and all of that I wouldn't have time for anything. Now the positions are filled. But on the subject of jobs, is there any particular area of work that I should be looking at/for?
Well, it's a recurring theme then... I just need to build up the guts to talk back sometime. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

And the only reason I feel like leaving the religion is because of how hypocritical I really am. Walking around talking about how you should do not, not do this, etc. etc. when in truth I do what I'm not supposed and ignore what I'm supposed to.

And Neyro, I like that suggestion. I actually haven't thought of telling them the day I leave. I'm not sure if I could, though, so what if I left a letter or something? Do you think that'd be able to deliver the same message?

And my dad offered me a job where he works, but I had to decline. At the time I was still in school (no transportation to get there in time) and after homework and all of that I wouldn't have time for anything. Now the positions are filled. But on the subject of jobs, is there any particular area of work that I should be looking at/for?
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07-23-09 06:42 PM
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Supermarkets and department stores seem like a good choice of work at that age. It's all a matter of applying and getting accepted.

As for religion, you can always find one that fits you. There's probably sects of Christianity or whatever that allow you to do what you do.

Leaving a letter doesn't have the same effect as telling them in person. You just need to build up the courage to eventually do it
Supermarkets and department stores seem like a good choice of work at that age. It's all a matter of applying and getting accepted.

As for religion, you can always find one that fits you. There's probably sects of Christianity or whatever that allow you to do what you do.

Leaving a letter doesn't have the same effect as telling them in person. You just need to build up the courage to eventually do it
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07-23-09 06:48 PM
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There aren't any department stores nearby, unfortunately.
And I've tried the supermarkets. The position are filled.
A friend of mine suggested I try working at a fast food place as a cashier, but I was worried about that because I'm not the best at math. What d'you think of that idea, though?

And if they use the Bible, then I'm not allowed. I've got a boyfriend (in secret, of course) as well as one who I view as a girlfriend (not sure of her views, though) and both know of eachother... So there we've already got two problems. Not to mention some of the other things (such as private fetishes, you know... Stuff you guys don't wanna hear about) would be condemned as well. That's the name problem. I don't wanna be in any religion, really, I just want to live out the rest of my life without needing to worry about what happens to my soul after death. I honestly don't care, but I'm tired of hearing about it.

I still don't think I could do it face-to-face. So if not a letter, what about a phone call after I leave? Or would that, still, not have the same effect as a face-to-face confession?

And Cookieman003, that's the problem with religion for me right now. I know some of the things I'm doing, that I do, and that I'm going to do are wrong. I just do them anyway because I've stopped caring quite some time ago.
There aren't any department stores nearby, unfortunately.
And I've tried the supermarkets. The position are filled.
A friend of mine suggested I try working at a fast food place as a cashier, but I was worried about that because I'm not the best at math. What d'you think of that idea, though?

And if they use the Bible, then I'm not allowed. I've got a boyfriend (in secret, of course) as well as one who I view as a girlfriend (not sure of her views, though) and both know of eachother... So there we've already got two problems. Not to mention some of the other things (such as private fetishes, you know... Stuff you guys don't wanna hear about) would be condemned as well. That's the name problem. I don't wanna be in any religion, really, I just want to live out the rest of my life without needing to worry about what happens to my soul after death. I honestly don't care, but I'm tired of hearing about it.

I still don't think I could do it face-to-face. So if not a letter, what about a phone call after I leave? Or would that, still, not have the same effect as a face-to-face confession?

And Cookieman003, that's the problem with religion for me right now. I know some of the things I'm doing, that I do, and that I'm going to do are wrong. I just do them anyway because I've stopped caring quite some time ago.
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(edited by Urso Fofinho on 07-23-09 06:51 PM)    

07-23-09 07:30 PM
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Then don't have a religion. You can just believe what you want. Or like I said, find a very secular and accepting sect of a Christianity (which I guarantee there is) and join it.

And fast food stuff isn't difficult math. In fact, I doubt that the cashiers that work in those place are even ok at math. You should be fine

Nothing matches face-to-face. Besides, you'd get more respect from your parents that way. Leaving a message or calling them makes you seem more afraid. You don't want that. They're more likely to be accepting if you're stronger about it


And if you do thinks that are wrong KNOWINGLY, that's another problem. If they're just religiously wrong, that's not the worst thing in the world. But if they're illegal, then there's a problem
Then don't have a religion. You can just believe what you want. Or like I said, find a very secular and accepting sect of a Christianity (which I guarantee there is) and join it.

And fast food stuff isn't difficult math. In fact, I doubt that the cashiers that work in those place are even ok at math. You should be fine

Nothing matches face-to-face. Besides, you'd get more respect from your parents that way. Leaving a message or calling them makes you seem more afraid. You don't want that. They're more likely to be accepting if you're stronger about it


And if you do thinks that are wrong KNOWINGLY, that's another problem. If they're just religiously wrong, that's not the worst thing in the world. But if they're illegal, then there's a problem
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07-23-09 08:34 PM
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Well, there's been a development. I spoke up about the issues with their marriage to my mother, and all I got was an earful. Again, more irrationality. I don't need to talk to my dad, there's nothing he'd like more than to keep the marriage going. But my mother is being too childish to get anywhere. I can say with confidence right now that I have absolutely no respect for her at the moment. Now she's mad at everything, especially me, for voicing my opinion. Which is why I'm shy and awkward about voicing anything else.

Any idea what fast food cashiers get paid? It probably won't be much, especially due to the fact that I live in northern Idaho. I'm not sure if they're hiring, but at least I have somewhere else to look.

And no, they're only wrong according to the Bible and other religious writings like it. I'm a very law-abiding citizen.

To be perfectly honest and frank, I am afraid to tell them. I am absolutely dreading it. If I could, I would just keep it a secret forever. The only reason I don't is because it's just that weird feeling you get for misleading somebody for so long. I'm not really sure how to describe it, I think people will understand what I mean though.
Well, there's been a development. I spoke up about the issues with their marriage to my mother, and all I got was an earful. Again, more irrationality. I don't need to talk to my dad, there's nothing he'd like more than to keep the marriage going. But my mother is being too childish to get anywhere. I can say with confidence right now that I have absolutely no respect for her at the moment. Now she's mad at everything, especially me, for voicing my opinion. Which is why I'm shy and awkward about voicing anything else.

Any idea what fast food cashiers get paid? It probably won't be much, especially due to the fact that I live in northern Idaho. I'm not sure if they're hiring, but at least I have somewhere else to look.

And no, they're only wrong according to the Bible and other religious writings like it. I'm a very law-abiding citizen.

To be perfectly honest and frank, I am afraid to tell them. I am absolutely dreading it. If I could, I would just keep it a secret forever. The only reason I don't is because it's just that weird feeling you get for misleading somebody for so long. I'm not really sure how to describe it, I think people will understand what I mean though.
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07-23-09 11:06 PM
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I understand. My mom hates it when I voice my opinion as well but you know what, it's as much as a situtation for you as it is for them. You have a right to say something. It will effect you too with whatever decision they make and your mom has got to understand that. Stay strong in what you say. If you truely believe in what have to say and no one can shake you, it will help your mind and build you as a person even. It will be big steps for you to finally talk to them one day.

As for religion, if it's not something you believe in then don't. But as Neyro said "However, I do suggest one thing. Before quitting a faith, make sure you know what that faith actually is. This way, you won't have any regrets after you've reviewed the religion and seen it as "not fitting" for you." Regardless if you are sick of hearing what it says, it is what will happen if you fall away or not. And I'm just saying if that's what you believe. If you don't believe then that wouldn't matter but be sure so your concious doesn't eat you up later. With religion as well, people fall away all the time and come back again, doesn't mean you can't.
I understand. My mom hates it when I voice my opinion as well but you know what, it's as much as a situtation for you as it is for them. You have a right to say something. It will effect you too with whatever decision they make and your mom has got to understand that. Stay strong in what you say. If you truely believe in what have to say and no one can shake you, it will help your mind and build you as a person even. It will be big steps for you to finally talk to them one day.

As for religion, if it's not something you believe in then don't. But as Neyro said "However, I do suggest one thing. Before quitting a faith, make sure you know what that faith actually is. This way, you won't have any regrets after you've reviewed the religion and seen it as "not fitting" for you." Regardless if you are sick of hearing what it says, it is what will happen if you fall away or not. And I'm just saying if that's what you believe. If you don't believe then that wouldn't matter but be sure so your concious doesn't eat you up later. With religion as well, people fall away all the time and come back again, doesn't mean you can't.
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07-23-09 11:25 PM
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On the topic of Religion, and as a way of following in my beliefs, I have manufactured my own "religion", which is what DM likes to call "Weak Agnosticism". I've still to understand why it's weak (Not in faith) but meh.

In any case, I believe the simple truth that anything and everything is possible, there may or may not be God/Gods/Goddesses/Forces out there. I have no right to choose. I'll just go with the flow until Judgement day, or death. Whichever comes first.

And we all have our secret fetishes. Nothing weird there.
Even extremely religious people still have their biological urges. It's natural.

Oh, and you'll still get paid minimum wage, which, I believe, is around 6-7$ an hour.

Next, Fear is a scary thing indeed. In my opinion, you should only fear fear itself. Fear controls, as it is doing to you. You must get to the core of it, why are you afraid, and confront it directly or by other means. There may be many layers, just keep digging to the core and always ask the second question: "Why?".

A different tactic that I can suggest, is just a tad bit of anger. This may sound odd, but hear me out. Instead of retreating, get angry at it. This will lead to rage, which, eventually, will explode. At this stage you will finally blurt out what you mean to damn well say, and after realizing you have said it, you might gain confidence and be able to speak your mind.

Defiance, my friend, defiance.
Only 2 years to go..

That's all I have for now.
On the topic of Religion, and as a way of following in my beliefs, I have manufactured my own "religion", which is what DM likes to call "Weak Agnosticism". I've still to understand why it's weak (Not in faith) but meh.

In any case, I believe the simple truth that anything and everything is possible, there may or may not be God/Gods/Goddesses/Forces out there. I have no right to choose. I'll just go with the flow until Judgement day, or death. Whichever comes first.

And we all have our secret fetishes. Nothing weird there.
Even extremely religious people still have their biological urges. It's natural.

Oh, and you'll still get paid minimum wage, which, I believe, is around 6-7$ an hour.

Next, Fear is a scary thing indeed. In my opinion, you should only fear fear itself. Fear controls, as it is doing to you. You must get to the core of it, why are you afraid, and confront it directly or by other means. There may be many layers, just keep digging to the core and always ask the second question: "Why?".

A different tactic that I can suggest, is just a tad bit of anger. This may sound odd, but hear me out. Instead of retreating, get angry at it. This will lead to rage, which, eventually, will explode. At this stage you will finally blurt out what you mean to damn well say, and after realizing you have said it, you might gain confidence and be able to speak your mind.

Defiance, my friend, defiance.
Only 2 years to go..

That's all I have for now.
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07-24-09 02:40 AM
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I know for sure why I'm afraid to tell them. My dad's first two children both turned out awful. Despite his best efforts, they turned to drugs and crime. I'm the first one that hasn't screwed up with anything like that. Him finding out I'm not the athletic, woman-chasing man every father wants would absolutely shatter what very little he has left.

And my mother would disown me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad, because at the moment I can't stand her. But those are the two primary reasons I'm afraid to come clean with them both.

And I firmly believe in a single spiritual ruler, I just feel that as it is now He'll have no use for me in the end. That being said, I just want to leave religion, live my life, and face what I must face when it's all over. I'd rather live happy for seventy years or so then suffer for eternity being something I'm not.

6 or 7 an hour isn't bad at all for a starting position. Sorry for all the questions on this specific subject, but do you know how many hours a month I'd put in on average?


Also, a new thing I'd like to discuss. Peers at school. Should I let my friends know about the deeper me? So far, only two know that I'm bi and five that I'm a fur. I've been trying to decide, but I can't really think about they'd react to it.
I know for sure why I'm afraid to tell them. My dad's first two children both turned out awful. Despite his best efforts, they turned to drugs and crime. I'm the first one that hasn't screwed up with anything like that. Him finding out I'm not the athletic, woman-chasing man every father wants would absolutely shatter what very little he has left.

And my mother would disown me. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad, because at the moment I can't stand her. But those are the two primary reasons I'm afraid to come clean with them both.

And I firmly believe in a single spiritual ruler, I just feel that as it is now He'll have no use for me in the end. That being said, I just want to leave religion, live my life, and face what I must face when it's all over. I'd rather live happy for seventy years or so then suffer for eternity being something I'm not.

6 or 7 an hour isn't bad at all for a starting position. Sorry for all the questions on this specific subject, but do you know how many hours a month I'd put in on average?


Also, a new thing I'd like to discuss. Peers at school. Should I let my friends know about the deeper me? So far, only two know that I'm bi and five that I'm a fur. I've been trying to decide, but I can't really think about they'd react to it.
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07-24-09 05:20 AM
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Well if protecting your parents is what you want to do. Then you can, but if it's tearing you inside, you gotta make the choice, like Neyro says 2 more years. Do it then I suggest.

For religion, God has use for you now and here on after. That is what I believe. It's also difficult though because, you may live happy for seventy years on earth but religion speaks about eternity. It depends on what matters most if you believe in religion. "Suffer" and follow the teachings and live happy for eternity or not follow and suffer what is in store for you in the end. Not trying to threaten or anything, there are definates in religion even though some of the teachings can be broadly interpreted.

Just sayin'.

As for your friends, I think it depends on your true friends. If you are comfortable with who you are it wouldn't matter anyway. As long as you have yourself, you'll be fine. Support is even better and you have that as well.

It's your choice in the end my friend.
Well if protecting your parents is what you want to do. Then you can, but if it's tearing you inside, you gotta make the choice, like Neyro says 2 more years. Do it then I suggest.

For religion, God has use for you now and here on after. That is what I believe. It's also difficult though because, you may live happy for seventy years on earth but religion speaks about eternity. It depends on what matters most if you believe in religion. "Suffer" and follow the teachings and live happy for eternity or not follow and suffer what is in store for you in the end. Not trying to threaten or anything, there are definates in religion even though some of the teachings can be broadly interpreted.

Just sayin'.

As for your friends, I think it depends on your true friends. If you are comfortable with who you are it wouldn't matter anyway. As long as you have yourself, you'll be fine. Support is even better and you have that as well.

It's your choice in the end my friend.
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07-24-09 02:21 PM
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Originally posted by Cookieman003
It's your choice in the end my friend.
I think this is the main point that you should look at. The choice is yours. No one elses.

I'm going to probally sound harsh, but I tend not to mince words.
Be yourself. If your friends dont accept you, then they probally wern't worth knowing.
If you want to tell your parents, do so or not, they will either accept you or not.
You can't hinge your life on whether or not others accept you.
If they love you, they have to love you for you, not who they want you to be.
And well, you are 16, things can/will change, you might even become "normal".
(But who's to say whats normal anyway, I sometimes think I'm sorta normal and everyone else is messed up )

As you said, you arn't breaking any human laws, so you're not scewed up.
You should beleive what you want to beleive, not what others tell you to beleive.
If there is any supreme deity, then so long as you are a good soul they cant hold anything against you.

"I just want to leave religion, live my life" If religion is going against your beliefs and true self then do this.
It would be better to be truthful to yourself then to lead a lie that would be found out by any single spiritual ruler anyway.
It's not like you are hurting anyone, right?

And in the end most things say that so long as you apologise at some point and mean it that all is good.
If you decide at any point you were wrong (thats an if, and it doesnt mean that you are), it's not like you would be "dammed" or anything.
But in my opinion so long as you are a good person, dont hurt anyone, and are truthful (to yourself at least, but to others is definatly a good thing), then you're fine.

As far as jobs just do your best, look around, take what you can.
Apply for every position you can no matter if you think you are qualified or not.
That is up to the employer to decide, often times they will train the right applicant in what they need to know.
If this is your first job, don't worry about the money so much. Yes it would be nice to get a certain amount, but take what you can.
The main point is to get that working experience, you should worry about the money later if posible.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, hope it helps in some way.
Feel free to ask me anything you might need, I can be brutal, but I'll probally say what I think
Originally posted by Cookieman003
It's your choice in the end my friend.
I think this is the main point that you should look at. The choice is yours. No one elses.

I'm going to probally sound harsh, but I tend not to mince words.
Be yourself. If your friends dont accept you, then they probally wern't worth knowing.
If you want to tell your parents, do so or not, they will either accept you or not.
You can't hinge your life on whether or not others accept you.
If they love you, they have to love you for you, not who they want you to be.
And well, you are 16, things can/will change, you might even become "normal".
(But who's to say whats normal anyway, I sometimes think I'm sorta normal and everyone else is messed up )

As you said, you arn't breaking any human laws, so you're not scewed up.
You should beleive what you want to beleive, not what others tell you to beleive.
If there is any supreme deity, then so long as you are a good soul they cant hold anything against you.

"I just want to leave religion, live my life" If religion is going against your beliefs and true self then do this.
It would be better to be truthful to yourself then to lead a lie that would be found out by any single spiritual ruler anyway.
It's not like you are hurting anyone, right?

And in the end most things say that so long as you apologise at some point and mean it that all is good.
If you decide at any point you were wrong (thats an if, and it doesnt mean that you are), it's not like you would be "dammed" or anything.
But in my opinion so long as you are a good person, dont hurt anyone, and are truthful (to yourself at least, but to others is definatly a good thing), then you're fine.

As far as jobs just do your best, look around, take what you can.
Apply for every position you can no matter if you think you are qualified or not.
That is up to the employer to decide, often times they will train the right applicant in what they need to know.
If this is your first job, don't worry about the money so much. Yes it would be nice to get a certain amount, but take what you can.
The main point is to get that working experience, you should worry about the money later if posible.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, hope it helps in some way.
Feel free to ask me anything you might need, I can be brutal, but I'll probally say what I think
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07-24-09 02:52 PM
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It's best to rebel earlier then later in life. Do it while your still a kid. It will enable you to learn from your mistakes and make your own decisions. You got 2 more years of help from your parents so ride it out. I wouldn't focus on getting a job I would focus on getting your life together or else it will just get more stressful.

Before jumping in and getting a job think it through. It's better to have a plan set then just go get a random job and no plans for the future. What do you really want to do in life as far as career wise?

As for religion, it doesn't matter what religion you are. We are all humans we all do not think alike which means we all have different beliefs. Being religious can be a good thing but being too religious can destroy your life and make you an evil person because you will end up hating others who are not your religion and have opposing ideas. Whatever you do do NOT follow that trend it is not the way to go.

We all have secrets, sometimes it's better we keep them to ourselves no matter if it's even your own parents that your keeping your secret from.
It's best to rebel earlier then later in life. Do it while your still a kid. It will enable you to learn from your mistakes and make your own decisions. You got 2 more years of help from your parents so ride it out. I wouldn't focus on getting a job I would focus on getting your life together or else it will just get more stressful.

Before jumping in and getting a job think it through. It's better to have a plan set then just go get a random job and no plans for the future. What do you really want to do in life as far as career wise?

As for religion, it doesn't matter what religion you are. We are all humans we all do not think alike which means we all have different beliefs. Being religious can be a good thing but being too religious can destroy your life and make you an evil person because you will end up hating others who are not your religion and have opposing ideas. Whatever you do do NOT follow that trend it is not the way to go.

We all have secrets, sometimes it's better we keep them to ourselves no matter if it's even your own parents that your keeping your secret from.
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07-24-09 04:55 PM
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Originally posted by JigSaw

As for religion, it doesn't matter what religion you are. We are all humans we all do not think alike which means we all have different beliefs. Being religious can be a good thing but being too religious can destroy your life and make you an evil person because you will end up hating others who are not your religion and have opposing ideas. Whatever you do do NOT follow that trend it is not the way to go.


I would have to dissagree with that statement. I'm not trying to start a fight or anything. You can't be too religious. It is the self righteous people that end up hating others who are not the same belief. I myself don't like those people and there are people like that in my own religion but there are also others that are very religious and only encourage what they believe and don't judge and not push it upon you. Religion also is not a trend. I'm not gonna join a religion because it's for "cool" people. It's something that is between you and God regardless of others. It's personal on your faith of that religion.

Once again, its not to start an argument. If you don't think so, both of what we say are opinions.
Originally posted by JigSaw

As for religion, it doesn't matter what religion you are. We are all humans we all do not think alike which means we all have different beliefs. Being religious can be a good thing but being too religious can destroy your life and make you an evil person because you will end up hating others who are not your religion and have opposing ideas. Whatever you do do NOT follow that trend it is not the way to go.


I would have to dissagree with that statement. I'm not trying to start a fight or anything. You can't be too religious. It is the self righteous people that end up hating others who are not the same belief. I myself don't like those people and there are people like that in my own religion but there are also others that are very religious and only encourage what they believe and don't judge and not push it upon you. Religion also is not a trend. I'm not gonna join a religion because it's for "cool" people. It's something that is between you and God regardless of others. It's personal on your faith of that religion.

Once again, its not to start an argument. If you don't think so, both of what we say are opinions.
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