A women came rolling with no arms and no legs came driving down the freeway. How did she do it. Well you have to take the f out of free and take the f out of way. Get it, it ain't no f in way. Still don't get let me go into detail. It ain't no F***ing way lol.

You probably never heard this joke.
Why did the chicken cross the rode?
To get to the other side.

what do you call pair of talking shoes? a conversation

your momma is so stupid that she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side
your momma is so fat when she went up the ifle tower it became the leaning tower of pizza

this ones the best

whats faster than a cheater? your momma with a mc donalds voucher

heres another awesome one

your mommas sooo fat that when jesus said let there be light he had to move your momma out of the way first

You might be a redneck if your richest relative buys a new house, and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tried to scale mountain dew                                                                                                                                                             Joke about German Sausage are the wurst.

Why couldn't the headless horsemen ever win a race? He could never get ahead!

yo mama so ugly, She went to the ugly studio and they said she was way too qualified to join!

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream cone?

Because she got run over by a bus!

How do you make a plumber cry?

You kill his family!

Joke 1: A string walks into a bar. The bartender says "no strings aloud" so the string leaves, pulls out a few hairs, and then ties itself into a knot. The string walks back in. The bartender then says "are you a string?" The string replies with: "I'm aFRAYED KNOT!"

Joke 2: (Q.) Why did the ballerina eat the doughnut? (A.) TUESDAY.

My Oral Surgeon has a speech impediment.
My Eye Doctor is blind.
My Language Arts teacher is Dyslexic.
Celine Dion walks into bar, "why the long face?"
Your mama is so poor, she has to wait until black Friday to go to the 99 cent store.
Your mama is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday! If you stand behind her, you won't have to give her any presents.

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."

There you go. Five terrible jokes.

This is a random yo mama joke. Yo mama so stupid that when she got locked in mattress barn she slept on the floor.

Another one yo mama so stupid that she locked her keys outside of her car.

Two psychics are sitting together at a bus stop.  One turns to the other.  "You're good, how am I?"

---

Four blondes are huddled around a table in a cafe.  They're speaking to no one but each other in low voices, and huddled up around the table so tightly that no one else can see what they're doing.  Suddenly they erupt into cheers, jump up and down, and hug each other.  The owner comes running over.

"What's going on?"

"We're AWESOME! We're so AWESOME!"

"Why's that?"

"We just finished a puzzle in three hours!"

"So?"

"The box says 3-5 years!"

FieldsBros}{ : Q:What did one eye say to the other?
                        Aon't look now but between us something smells!

role play joke!

Student 1: teacher, what are we doing today?
Students 2: your mom!
*Class laughs*
Student 1: haha i see what you did there!
Student 2: thank you, son
Student 1:.....

IS this a good joke?
Q : What did one eye say to the other?
Aon't look now but between us something smells!


lololololololol

An elderly couple had been living together happily for years on their farm. There was just one problem with their marriage. Every night, the man would snuggle her really tight and let out a terrible, rip-roaring fart. The woman, who was disgusted by this, would tell him that one of these days he would blow his guts out doing that. He would just laugh a little and then forget about it. One day, as she was cleaning a chicken for supper she hatched a plan. That night as he was asleep, she slipped out of bed and put all of the innards from the chicken in his boxers. In the morning, while she was in the kitchen, she heard an ear splitting yell. She ran into the bedroom to mock him and he ran to hug her. "Darling, you were right this entire time! I woke up and all of my insides were in my drawers! But thank the good lord and these two fingers cause I was able to stuff em' back in!"

A guy walks into a bar, he says, "Ow".

How did the baby get across the road? It was stapled to the chicken.