This is something I've kept quite secret over the past 2 months or so, but I thought if I were to tell someone first, just to get initial reactions, it would be Vizzed. Around 3 months ago I joined a rp group in a chat area far outside into the internet world. It was here that I role played and had general fun. There was this one girl, however, that I felt specially attached to during this time, I just didn't really understand it all that much. After some angst and a general happy ending to one rp, we both showed signs that we were interested in each other, and as a start from that, we started a ship in character. Whether the feeling was genuine or just for the sake of rp, I didn't know at the time. Over the course of the next month, I felt more attached to her, telling myself it was only rp, and I was probably getting too attached to something that wasn't real.

As general chat went that was out of character, we discussed and resolved a few problems with our fellow role players that they were having irl. It was around this time we were talking about how great everyone in the group was and how it pretty much changed others lives. I felt like I was the lucky one with hardly any problems, but wanted to help in anyway I could. As the second month drew to a close, the OOC adventures lead naturally to some sort of joke date, where the IC characters were spying on the OOC's, this was while we were alone. And it was then that it was clear we were close, complete with cuddling and such in the chat, but I was thinking it was still some sort of rp, as we have gone OOOC and even OOOOC, if you understand that. However, I had suspicions she had feelings for me, as I did for her. We had some much in common and she was so refreshing to everyone else in real life.

It was around this time I also found out that the age difference was 3 years. I was 18, she was 15. She lived in America, while I lived in England. I was telling myself this wouldn't work out. Doubt and grief filled me, because my friends would make a huge fuss over a 2 year gap and long distance relationships. I couldn't be her boyfriend. I didn't want to hurt her to make her feel like this was all for nothing. I would spend time in bed just worrying about this. I think I had just realised I loved her. I could hardly believe she was 15, I didn't really care she was 15, heck I didn't even know what she looks like at the time, but I felt that the difference might have been problematic, and was always the core to my problems with all this.

Then, roughly 5 weeks ago, we were alone in the chat, and we were talking about how we to each other made life better. I decided to just hint things bluntly now. She said how I brighten up her life, and there really wasn't anyone else just like me, so I decided to just let it out. I said how she really made me look at love in a different way, how she was so refreshing and amazing she is and all that. And then I told her my secret. That I love her. It turned out she loved me as well! In fact, she had feelings for me for quite a while. It was at that point we decided to start dating, although we were not sure if we were still dating 2 months back.

Either way we are together, extremely happy that we are together. I feel like there is no other woman out there that would understand me and love me the way she does, and I can't stop loving her. Now, my only concern is that I want to keep this secret from my friends because it's
A: A long distance relationship and
B: There is a 3 year gap
What are your thoughts as a community to this? I don't care what you say, it's not going to change a thing. I just want to know what you would say about it.

Well people fall in love.. So i find it pretty normal.. 

I would like to add that Long distance relationships can be possible but sometimes when the two people meet they find out that they don't really get on that well in person.. Some people just behave differently on the internet basically.. 

As for the age gap. It doesn't bother me knowing that as she's 15 and from a different continent by the time you actually physically see her she probably will be at least 16... Some people may have negative views on this due to her being under the age of consent i guess. But as long as your not getting "too attached" (struggled to find a better term) then i don't see any harm.

Me and my current Girlfriend met over the internet as well.. And it's been going for a good 6+ months.. It's not as far as your's as our's is only England to Wales. But distance doesn't really matter in a Long distance relationship i guess.

Darkpower508 : The age difference isn't bad and you're in a long distance relationship which is hard to make work but it isn't impossible. I have friends who started out dating online. Just good luck and follow your heart bro.

sonicmcmuffin :
Oldschool41 : I'm really not bothered about sex, honestly. The fact that just spending time with her makes me extremely happy, but I will take the advice and be careful. We've also exchanged pictures of what we look like, and that worked out really well.

RealBrickz : Thanks! And thanks to everyone for not over reacting!

Darkpower508 : pretty simple really don't do anything that people consider sexual.. swapping nude photos stuff like that.. Basically don't break the law..

Anyways i wish you all the best

I feel that the basis of every relationship is mutuality. If you two have the same feelings for each other, why would it be an issue?

As for long distance, the longer the relationship lasts, the more you will have moments that you want the other person to be there, and the more you realize how much it can suck if you really need someone and they just can't do anything about it. There are many risks involved in a long distance relationship, but considering this is what you guys are used too, it can very much work out.

The age difference should really only be an issue if you're uncomfortable with it. She's a minor, yes, but when it comes to maturity, age is ironically a really bad indicator. 

Whether you should tell your friends or not is really up to what kind of friends you have. If you expect a reaction like the one above, you're pretty safe to talk about it. Otherwise, online relationship, age difference, long distance, they're all ingredients of a complex relationship, which might not be understood very well by most people in society, though it becomes more common in my own experience.

Either way, best of luck, seems like you got something really good going. 

emp_nogitoff : Wow, such wise words from a newbie -salutes- You hit the nail on the head there. We do want to be together, but we've accepted the facts that they were circumstances that we couldn't control. I am saving up money (once I find a job) to go and visit her.

As for maturity, she seems very down to earth and mature on several subjects, while still being that amazing mix of craziness and random that makes her really fun to be with. I mean, for once I can talk to someone who understands things like I do, in a surprisingly strong connection sort of way....

Looks like I'm trailing off there...

I really hope that I don't come off as negative here, because I don't intend for it to be that way. I am not against this at all.

With that said, I think it is important to clear up some things that other users mentioned. A few brought up the issue with her being a minor and you an adult. But then they said you aren't breaking any laws as long as nothing sexual is going on. At least as far as the US law is concerned, that is not true. In the US, someone 18+ years old pursuing a relationship with a minor (even online) is still against the law whether anything sexual is going on or not. Even when there is no evidence of online sexual relationships (nude pictures, chat sex, etc), it is called coercing a minor. In instances where it is online, they tend to be more strict than a non long distance relationship (such as an 18 year old high school senior dating a 15 year old high school freshman who goes to the same school). With online predators being such a problem, that is just how things are. So are you treading on thin ice? The answer, unfortunately, is yes. 

Now, when there are different continents involved, you are less likely to get in trouble (depending on exactly what the laws over this are in England). So just be careful. 

The whole minor/adult thing aside, far be it for me to say a long distance relationship can't work. I started dating a girl right after high school, and we were together all summer. She went to a college 4 hours away from where I was going to school. It was hard, but we stuck it out. We eventually found a school that was great for both of us. We were together for over 6 years, and we are now married. Granted, the amount of time we were apart was only a year, and yours will be at LEAST 3 more years (till she graduates high school). Even more if she decides to stay here for college and you don't move from England to be with her, or vice-versa. The odds are 'statistically' against you, but you can't leave your life choices to statistics. One thing statistics can't do is take into account the people specifically. 

So to sum up everything, there are legal issues even without any kind of sexual relationship, so you have to be careful. And since this is a situation where you will be apart for at least 3 years, more if neither of you leave your country to live with the other after she is done with school, odds are against you. So make sure that she truly is as committed to taking this past an online relationship as you are, or it will never work out. Hope all goes well.

rcarter2 : Oh dear, that does pose quite an issue. When does one not become a minor in general? 16 or 18? Either way, I'll keep a low profile on this, thanks for the information. We're both quite commit to the relationship, to a point where we can wait for each other. I've always thought it would be around 3 years before we could met each other in the flesh, so I'm not taking any of this as negative.

So does this mean I have to be quite a bit careful when I (hopefully) visit her say, when she is still a minor?

warmaker : "I mean, for once I can talk to someone who understands things like I do", I never said she would be the only one, I just said "for once". The thing that I love about her is that she is just so refreshing in subjects I've gone through with my friends. When I try to explain something, mainly what I feel about a game, they don't understand, but she does, because she's been there. True, I could see someone in England that is compatible with me just like the girl I love now, but the truth is I just can't see myself with anyone else. The first two months we were role playing, I felt really attached to her, and quite frankly, she was the first one to come around (just so happens to be in America) to list similar interests with me. Just my POV on that ^^

There is actually not a set age in the US that is the nationwide legal consenting age. That number just depend on which state she lives. But the age will vary from 16-18. So some states say 16, some say 17, and the rest say 18. 

rcarter2 : Correct that some states have different ages for minors. But since he lives in England, she in the states, and they communicate pretty much by the internet; wouldn't there be an issue as to what country he would be tried in (I'm pretty sure it would be in England)?

rcarter2 : The state she lives in, majority is reached at 18 years old.

Darkpower508 : Thought so. Most states over here say that the age of majority is 18 years old.

Quick question, does she also know the risk of her being underage and you being an adult.

Oldschool41 : I'm not entirely sure. We often forget about the age difference when we're talking, and rarely bring it up. She might understand the gravity of the situation already, though. I dunno, I never asked.

Darkpower508 : Sandwhich the topic a bit so this will be my last post on your thread. Any other concerns just reply on my profile or PM.

Hmm, I'm sure she knows the issue. But I think its best not to bring it up to her since she might use the infomation to get you to do what she wants. I'm not saying she will do this as she sounds like a nice girl; but you can't really take the risk, especially if its a long distance relationship and you can't really "monitor" what she is doing/saying to other people.

Oldschool41 : No clue. In all honesty, I doubt any legal issues will actually come of this. Just thought I would put it out there as a precaution. 

I think you should just be honest yourself and her. I'm not sure if you guys are ever going to see each other or not. If you aren't planning on doing that, then I'm sure if your being fair to her. A long distance relationship can be very tough on both people, trust me I would know. Its difficult to be tied to one person when you are 15, especially when you are thousands of miles away. You should Skype with her, and let her know that you are in fact "real" and tell her you love her every day. However, it may not work out in the end as you might have been hoping. But like I said, just be honest to her and yourself and figure out if this is actually reasonable to both of you. You have no clue if she would cheat on you. I hope this never happens because that would be just awful. But you would have no idea, and if you found out, it might actually destroy you. I gave up on online relationships a long time ago because of some ridiculous crap that happened to me in the past. I know it may seem like you love her, and perhaps you are both madly in love, but just think about it. Not being able to hold her when she cries, or not hugging and kissing her to show your affection can be excruciating to deal with. 

mscoral : All well in good except for one problem...

She's 15 and he is 18. If he is to do that stuff like hold her when she cries, hugging, or kissing; it would be classified as inappropiate relationship with a minor; and might be sent to prison.

I'm not saying that your completely wrong as your points are valid; but that kind of stuff is a no-no for his situation.