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Zircron Swift
11-07-11 11:40 AM
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ET Atari 2600 Review
Game's Ratings
Overall
Graphics
Sound
Addictiveness
Depth
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Difficulty
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4.6
4.7
4.3
3.2
4.7
5.3
7.7
11-07-11 11:40 AM
Zircron Swift is Offline
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Ok, picture this: The year is 1982. The dominate consoles at the time were the Commondore 64, the Apple II, and the Atari 2600. Then, all of a sudden: BOOM! Market sales plummet, game console companies become bankrupt, and the second generation of gaming is destroyed as we know it. There are a number of reasons why this happened, far too many to list here. Some would say that the ET game for the Atari 2600 was the soul cause of it. To say that would be naive. There were more than one game that helped the cause. But I wouldn't disagree that ET helped a lot with the crash of 1982 gaming. Did you know it was one of the best selling Atari 2600 games at the time? Neither did I! It sold an impressive 1.5 million copies. However, the remaining 3.5 million were left unsold. Rumor has it that the Atari company left at night and went to New Mexico and dumped the rest of the copies in a land fill, crushed and buried in concert. What ever happened, the memory of this game remains to those who were there, and fools who dread to play it. As I'm one of those fools, I'll play it and see if it's really that bad. *title screen plays*......wow.....I mean.....*shakes head slowly* That's the game summed up. The title screen basically says "Abandon all hope all ye enters here. Turn back now, there's still time! Save yourself!" The cover of the theme of ET, although I can hear the right notes, is terrible. No harmonies? It's probably the best thing in the entire game. Well, lets get this over with. The story is that you need to find three pieces of a telephone so you can call a mother ship and get back home. Sounds simple enough. The keys are in pits. Boy do you walk slowly. Dare I say slower than Dr Jekyll? As I'm walking along and I fall down these holes, I yet to find a piece. What are these symbols on the top of the screen? There are arrows. Should I follow them? Now it's ET with sound waves coming out of his mouth. More arrows. Now a circle with a dot in it.....GAH!.....Wait! That's it! A circle with a dot in the middle was an Egyptian hieroglyphic that means day! I got it! I can....how the hell those that help me?!? So I'm following these arrows, that change frequently, even when I'm standing still. So screw these arrows, I'm going back to jumping into holes. Because ET likes suicide? I don't know, you lose life when you land. Oh good, a phone piece. How does ET get out? Take a guess. No really, take a wild guess. Not sure? The answer was: He opens his mouth. That's right. ET has the power to levitate by opening his mouth. Don't worry, if your not hating the game already, then you are very gifted with tolerance. *falls in the same hole*.....wtf? *opens mouth to get out, then falls in the same hole as soon as you get out*.....*does the same thing with same results* son of a.....*same happens again* Can't I get out of this hole!?! *gets out* THANK YOU! Oh look, a dot, is that a pit? No, I seemed to have collected it. I have 1 at the moment. Hmm...... *someone comes out of no-where* Oh hello friend! *touches you and walks away*.....That was odd...Hey, I lost my phone piece, and the thing I collected! And he can walk over holes! Must have took levitating lessons from ET and found out that you need to open your mouth. Well, lets continue looking. *someone else comes out of no-where* Oh hello friend....*guy picks ET up* Where is he taking me? It looks like he takes me to his lab, were I can easily escape. Oh look, there's the guy who stole my stuff *guy touches ET then runs back to his house* Odd....I had nothing. And what is this third house? Who is this for? When you die, the kid from the film comes to you and you gain some life. But what the hell happens to the kid? Where did he go? Did he give his life for me? Na, I'll expect to see him again pretty soon. This guy in the trench coat is really annoying me. He takes away all of your phone pieces at once. And those little dots are pointless. They do nothing! Oh, it's that kid, but I haven't died yet. I'll go and see if he's alright. *ET touches the kid*....And he took all of my little dots? Do I have no friend at all? I'm finished. I can't take it anymore! The music is absolutely terrible, it's not even music! It's just some beats and that's it. Call that music? The graphics are an eyesore, even for an Atari game. It looks ever so slightly like ET, but if I didn't know I was playing the ET game, I would never have guessed correctly other wise. Ok, I got all three phone pieces. What do I do now? Go back to the starting place? I'm here. Why isn't the ship here? *guy in trench coat comes in* Oh no you don't! *tries to runaway, then the scientist comes in and catches you* Ahhggg! *mashes buttons, then breaks free as a high speed*.....*holds down space bar*.....I can run? I CAN RUN?!? Well, this is great news....wait....were are my phone....AWWWWW! >=( Overall, I give this game a 2.7/10 One of the worst games I have ever played. Worse that Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde for the NES, worse than Friday the 13th for the NES, even worse than.....*shivers* GhostBusters for NES. Never thought I'll play a worse game. Unspeakable graphics, terrible music, annoying and awful game play. What the hell were they thinking? I can see why now it was a huge contribution to the gaming crash of 1982. Not the cause of it, but differently was a huge part of it. Thankfully, hey don't make games like those anymore....I hope.... *title screen plays*......wow.....I mean.....*shakes head slowly* That's the game summed up. The title screen basically says "Abandon all hope all ye enters here. Turn back now, there's still time! Save yourself!" The cover of the theme of ET, although I can hear the right notes, is terrible. No harmonies? It's probably the best thing in the entire game. Well, lets get this over with. The story is that you need to find three pieces of a telephone so you can call a mother ship and get back home. Sounds simple enough. The keys are in pits. Boy do you walk slowly. Dare I say slower than Dr Jekyll? As I'm walking along and I fall down these holes, I yet to find a piece. What are these symbols on the top of the screen? There are arrows. Should I follow them? Now it's ET with sound waves coming out of his mouth. More arrows. Now a circle with a dot in it.....GAH!.....Wait! That's it! A circle with a dot in the middle was an Egyptian hieroglyphic that means day! I got it! I can....how the hell those that help me?!? So I'm following these arrows, that change frequently, even when I'm standing still. So screw these arrows, I'm going back to jumping into holes. Because ET likes suicide? I don't know, you lose life when you land. Oh good, a phone piece. How does ET get out? Take a guess. No really, take a wild guess. Not sure? The answer was: He opens his mouth. That's right. ET has the power to levitate by opening his mouth. Don't worry, if your not hating the game already, then you are very gifted with tolerance. *falls in the same hole*.....wtf? *opens mouth to get out, then falls in the same hole as soon as you get out*.....*does the same thing with same results* son of a.....*same happens again* Can't I get out of this hole!?! *gets out* THANK YOU! Oh look, a dot, is that a pit? No, I seemed to have collected it. I have 1 at the moment. Hmm...... *someone comes out of no-where* Oh hello friend! *touches you and walks away*.....That was odd...Hey, I lost my phone piece, and the thing I collected! And he can walk over holes! Must have took levitating lessons from ET and found out that you need to open your mouth. Well, lets continue looking. *someone else comes out of no-where* Oh hello friend....*guy picks ET up* Where is he taking me? It looks like he takes me to his lab, were I can easily escape. Oh look, there's the guy who stole my stuff *guy touches ET then runs back to his house* Odd....I had nothing. And what is this third house? Who is this for? When you die, the kid from the film comes to you and you gain some life. But what the hell happens to the kid? Where did he go? Did he give his life for me? Na, I'll expect to see him again pretty soon. This guy in the trench coat is really annoying me. He takes away all of your phone pieces at once. And those little dots are pointless. They do nothing! Oh, it's that kid, but I haven't died yet. I'll go and see if he's alright. *ET touches the kid*....And he took all of my little dots? Do I have no friend at all? I'm finished. I can't take it anymore! The music is absolutely terrible, it's not even music! It's just some beats and that's it. Call that music? The graphics are an eyesore, even for an Atari game. It looks ever so slightly like ET, but if I didn't know I was playing the ET game, I would never have guessed correctly other wise. Ok, I got all three phone pieces. What do I do now? Go back to the starting place? I'm here. Why isn't the ship here? *guy in trench coat comes in* Oh no you don't! *tries to runaway, then the scientist comes in and catches you* Ahhggg! *mashes buttons, then breaks free as a high speed*.....*holds down space bar*.....I can run? I CAN RUN?!? Well, this is great news....wait....were are my phone....AWWWWW! >=( Overall, I give this game a 2.7/10 One of the worst games I have ever played. Worse that Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde for the NES, worse than Friday the 13th for the NES, even worse than.....*shivers* GhostBusters for NES. Never thought I'll play a worse game. Unspeakable graphics, terrible music, annoying and awful game play. What the hell were they thinking? I can see why now it was a huge contribution to the gaming crash of 1982. Not the cause of it, but differently was a huge part of it. Thankfully, hey don't make games like those anymore....I hope.... |
Vizzed Elite
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(edited by Darkpower508 on 11-28-11 01:29 PM)
11-13-11 07:24 PM
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ET was supposedly said that it was the worst game in history, and I don't disagree, this game is really bad, rushed for the beginning and now its just as terrible, just...bad. |
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Winner of The August VCS 2011, December VCS 2013, and Summer 2014 TDV |
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11-13-11 07:46 PM
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It is ironic that such a dull game can be described in such a detailed way. Despite the fact that I have seen bits and pieces of the gameplay, I think your review gives me a better idea of what to expect; that is if I decided to play but I would have to be drunk to do so, and I have never done so in my life. |
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11-14-11 02:41 PM
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Pretty decent review. While I do agree that the game is far from great, I do think that there is a lot worst out there simply in that E.T had 1/4 the development time and little to work with to begin with...plus it's the Atari. Even if that's irrelevant...it's a bad game but I can think of worst. |
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11-15-11 06:50 PM
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This game is boring to me. I would keep falling into the ditch and sometimes I would be grabbed by a scientist and I had no idea on where to go to find the keys or whatever you are suppose to find lol. Very good review. |
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11-15-11 07:39 PM
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Not as bad as everyone says in my opinion. Do not get me wrong the games sucks pretty hard but it is not as bad as it could be. This and PAC MAN get a worse rap then they deserve.
Nice review. Nice review. |
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11-28-11 01:33 PM
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billythekidmonster : Really? Please do tell what could be worse than this game. I'll be amazed if I play one as poor this one (although I have one idea what it might be). Granted, it was rushed to get done withing the Christmas seasons, but whose fault was that? Exactly! He could have decided that he should spend a year or so designing it better, but he wanted to do it within the time. |
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11-28-11 04:49 PM
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I honestly do not know of a game that is worse than this at the moment. I am just saying that they get a worse rap then I think they deserve. The game is crap but not so bad that it has to be said all the time.
I honestly think that Superman on the N64 is worse. I honestly think that Superman on the N64 is worse. |
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11-29-11 12:33 PM
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billythekidmonster : Well, every cloud has a silver lining. I'm sure thing game is the same, but I don't I can find it. Oh, and I have completely forgotten about Superman 64. That is, indeed worse. |
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04-29-12 09:23 AM
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Is a very good review! But is sure that E.T is not the worst game ever. China Syndrome is even worst for me. And the Intellivision and the ColecoVision dominate also the video game market in 1982. But I'm not sure that the Commodore 64 exist in 1982. And Apple II and the Commodore 64 are computers, not consoles. But you have a good review! And the Intellivision and the ColecoVision dominate also the video game market in 1982. But I'm not sure that the Commodore 64 exist in 1982. And Apple II and the Commodore 64 are computers, not consoles. But you have a good review! |
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04-29-12 09:39 AM
Zircron Swift is Offline
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Zircron Swift
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CarBitGTSaxen : Ahahah.....about that.....You know too much! My gaming history much have some holes in. What are these new consoles you speak of? Well, I'll do a little research. |
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(edited by Darkpower508 on 04-29-12 09:39 AM)
04-29-12 09:47 AM
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dude yeah, this game sucks, and thats all there is to it. When I saw ET game review, I was thinking here goes a 5 word review it freaking sucks real bad, but then I saw the red jersey XD. Good review, good reviewer, bad game. |
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04-29-12 10:09 AM
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Darkpower508 : The ColecoVision and the Intellivision are not new console. They are old. The ColecoVision was made in 1982 and the Intellivision in 1980 |
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04-29-12 10:15 AM
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CarBitGTSaxen : I knew they were old, they were just new to me (yeah, I never heard about them, aka hole in gaming history). |
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