Simon would be so disappointed... After all his epic battles with intrigue and exploration, with Dracula being an actual vampire who sits on a throne with a wine glass (awesome), all he would have to do is go to Washington in the middle of nowhere and beat up some boring family obsessed with animal cruelty. There'd be no challenge, lol
Simon would get pissed at them for giving vampires a bad name.
Simon: "Aha! I'm here to rid the world of your foul menaces!"
Edward: "Oh whatever, you'd probably be doing me a favor. If Bella doesn't love me who cares..."
Simon: "WHAT?! You're a VAMPIRE! You're not supposed to sit around and cry all day!"
Edward: "Well.. not ALL day.."
Simon: "Shaddap!" *WHIP-PAH!*
orius: "The Belmonts hunt down real vampires, not trash like that TB patient Ed Sullen."
Edward: Oh Bella, I want to love you, but I just can't put you in danger. I'm a monster and we just can't be together.
Bella: I don't think your a monster, I love you.
Edward: You just don't-
*Simon Belmont leaps out, traps Edward in his whip, and dumps holy water on him.*
Simon: Ah, Yes! Finally, for years I have been tracking down this American Vampire. I traveled from Romania, fought creatures of the sea, killed unholy demon spawn of hell, and searched for him on countless "chick-flick" websites.
Bella: Oh my god! You killed him! Now I'm going to spiral even deeper into my awkward depression. WHO WILL SPARKLE FOR ME IN THE SUNLIGHT!?!?!?!?!
Simon: ... So, is the shirtless werewolf out of the question then?