I would love to have a good mental relationship, but physical needs are quite demanding.

I sort of am. See my girlfriend currently lives 3000 miles apart. Obviously we can't be with each other physically, but mentally, and emotionally, we couldn't be closer. I think the lack of a physical relationship is actually benefitting us.

legacyme3 : I second your last notion. I mean, my gf and I don't live that far apart but getting to each other often is an issue.

The lack of physicality between a couple can make or break a relationship and for those who stay strong in the absence are the ones with the best chance for a future.

So yeah, I could go without a physical relationship for awhile.

I do see the point where many would prefer a nice sane partner instead of a crazy partner that is great in bed.

Still though, intimacy is very important in a relationship, and if it's not there most relationships fall apart under those circumstances.

bchawk88 :

So far it's been 2 months in a relationship almost. I'm not worried about if I can see her, but when I will next see her. We are as strong a couple as you can get without being married.

In my mind, if there isn't any "physical part" in a relationship, then this relationship isn't actually a "romantic" one(I use this word, because I think it's appropriate for a family friendly site, like vizzed). But it's more like a relationship between friends.
But there are always exceptions, like married couples or people in love, who are separated for a few weeks etc.
Anyway, I think that a "romantic" relationship needs both a "physical part" and the "mental part" as well, in order to last for long time. But this is just my opinion, it doesn't mean it's the right one.

Yes of course! If you can't even have a good stable mental connection then you don't have a good relationship!

I've done pretty good so far. I'd take the mental peace of mind any day over the physical wants.

Absolutely not. I think some of my post probably offend people, and that usually doesn't keep my mouth shut, but in this case I'm going to hold back on the details.

Short answer is that long distance relationships don't work, and if I wanted a strong mental relationship, I'd have it with a friend and get in a REAL relationship with someone that wants to commit 100%. Relationships don't work unless they have BOTH mental and physical ties.

Good thing about non physical relationships ie friends is you dont have to care about what they look like (some actually do care because they don't want their image destroyed they want to look cool). We all go to the bathroom and have gross insides why is that not a factor on the physical side?

Surprisingly enough i am the one who chooses to take it slow, i believe in good, long lasting relationships and i MUST sacrifice all physical contact in order to build a stable mental relationship, i think that is the reason why this relationship is failing

I think it has to be physical and mental to have the good on full on experience.

I would love to agree with you Totts but sex is very important in a relationship. Unless both are virgins.....

I think if the sex sucks than that relationship probably won't work out.

However,I do think long lasting relationships are possible without sex...if two people love each other unconditionally.

Totts : I feel that there is more that needs to be taken into consideration before ruling against a relationship. Physical attraction is certainly part of the equation but it shouldn’t be the main determining factor to either A pursue a relationship with someone or B remain in a relationship with someone.

In my case although as I said physical attraction is part of the equation, I prefer to look for things that I may connect with someone besides a potential physical attraction. It could be similar interests, principals or even something as general as what kind music one may listen to.

Other then the obvious advantage of potentially getting to know someone it can certainly serve as a good icebreaker to start up an initial conversation. I feel that sometimes people put too much emphasis on the physical aspects of a relationship. Although again, as I said it is part of the equation, I would much rather have someone who would stand by me through times both good and bad. As much as Trust is an important component in any relationship whether it be platonic or romantic, Loyalty is also an extremely important thing that every worth while relationship should have and you simply cannot have trust without loyalty or vise versa.

I know I may seem like an idealist here but that is just how I feel even though it has in some cases been to my determent…

I've never had to make that choice, but I would most likely be able to go with a mental relationship. I'm not a very physical person to begin with anyway.

Both mental and physical are important and a solid relationship does not work without both. They can be an animal in the sack, but if you have no mental compatibility it will fail. Likewise, you could have the best mental connection in the world, but you are still human and you still have hormones and eventually that WILL cause a problem whether you want to believe it or not.

Now, I believe in forming the mental bond first, at least partially. If I don't get along on a mental level and I know that won't change then it stops there. If the physical sucks then I will try to fix that and if I can't, it ends. Starting with the physical usually ends badly, so I avoid it.

A good mental relationship is what I call 'friendship'.
So, no I couldn't.

Could you go without a physical relationship for the sake of a good mental one? I'll take you one step further. That's what I want!

I dated my last girlfriend (I consider her my first real girlfriend) for about 8 months and we never had sex. So, yes.

I don't know if I could go without kissing and stuff though, but I would do it if I had to and I there was a good reason for it and she was worth it. Can't think of why you'd do that though.

I could live with just a mental relationship. I mean while a physical relationship would be fun, I think it's more important to really get to know who you're going out with. If anything at all the mental relationship should come before the physical. However, I would miss kissing. I think that kissing is definitely not as bad as more instense physical activities. Those activites can by all means left out of relationships for along time, until that relationship becomes really serious. But for things like kissing, and hugging; that's part of dating, and really doesn't need to be left out for any particular reason.

At this point, I find that an intellectual/emotional connection with someone is much more important than the physical aspect of it. Of course both are amazing, especially when you have a deep emotional connection to the person on a mental level AND you feel physically attracted to them. But if for whatever reason I could only choose one, I think I would find the intellectual companionship much more important. Having a "fling" with someone can be enjoyable, but it would not satisfy my need for a meaningful partnership. I can see it becoming very frustrating though, although if I truly loved the person I could probably overcome it.