I can't keep all this bottled up. I have to write about this, and I hate that I keep having to write about it. I want to get back to doing the things that I used to enjoy. I was actually getting to do that when I was in my recent relationship, but then again I wasn't. All that really amounted to was just a bunch of work and very little fun. Now, I don't think I'll ever be able to have any fun ever again. I'm going to be stuck in this neckbrace until the middle of June at least. I can't work, can't drive or go anywhere on my own, have no privacy, no income, no freedom to do anything but go on this computer, and I don't know how long that will last.

This computer is old and has been having problems with updates here lately. I don't have any control over any of this, and I'm stuck with my parents who don't understand anything nor do they respect me at all!! I'm trying to just live my life, and I can't! It's starting to affect my health. I have no energy or desire to do anything anymore. I just want to give up! I don't feel like playing video games here anymore because what happens if my computer breaks down, and I can't get it fixed! I need to be working because that's how I fix my problems!

If I've got problems, I work end of story! I don't know if the company is going to hold my job that long. I can't start over somewhere else. My parents are paying for the doctor appointments and all, and that's not good because then (my dad especially) can use that as a way to punish me. I want to still come to Vizzed but not for the games anymore! I don't know if I want to go back to gaming anymore! This depression is very serious this time. The last 2 days, I've done nothing! I can't even get the energy to get out of bed it's so bad!

There is nothing or nobody in my life right now that is motivating me. The Vizzed community is helping, but I'm getting nowhere in real life. I'm trying to make things happen that aren't happening, and my depression is really getting in the way. It's to the point where I need medication to get through this, and I'm taking pain pills just to boost my mood. I know that's not healthy, but I need something. All of this is overwhelming, and I need a way to cope.

Maybe, I just need to take a break from Vizzed until my life gets straightened out. I don't know if that will ever happen, but I can't keep making posts like this. I swear, this is all I do on here anymore. I just complain about how bad my life is when everyone else has it so much worse. I just need to stop by, check my notifications, and log out. This is how it needs to be until I can get back on my feet if I ever do.